CLUB ELLEN - SEPTEMBER 16, 2023 (Patreon)

Free the nipple! Hello everybody, I'm Ellen and I'm feeling a little loopy today. Having jet lag. Yes, jet lag affects even the rich and famous — we are people just like you. The only difference is that when I am feeling sleepy from jet lag, I can take hard cash and rub it all over my body — I can stick it inside my mouth and chew it into a healing pulp and apply that like a salve in the style of the ancient peoples to the areas of my body that are in need of self care. By packing the pulp of chewed up cash money into my front, I am curing myself of of jet lag cancer and lyme disease — gradually, in the style of the ancient peoples — and developing paradigms of wellness which we, in the age of cancel culture, have forgotten in our "rush to judgement." Please respect my privacy at this time and enjoy this week's episode of Club Ellen, and don't forget to #freethenipple