Chapter 54: You Can’t Accidentally Summon A Demon, Paradox (Patreon)

“Muahahahah!” Perry laughed maniacally as the diode on the top of areonite circuit board lit up.

“You made a light. Grats.” Heather said, standing over his shoulder.

“I made a circuit board utilizing magical materials!” Perry said. “Be impressed! This is the first step towards magically integrated computing power!”

“Meh.” Heather shrugged.

“Ooh, just imagine if I could bypass the restriction on Essence formation and have the magical computer milk the Essences out of me on a case-by-case basis! That would make a huge dent in my consumables!”

“I really don’t wanna think about things getting milked out of you.” Heather said with a wince.

Perry ignored her.

“If I could then find a way to store, mix, and project them properly…” He rubbed his hands together greedily. “No one would be able to tell I’m a cripple!”

“I don’t think you meet the definition of ‘cripple’.” Heather said.

Perry shrugged. “For the Zauberer family, I kind of do.”

“Huh.”

Anyway, I’ve been looking for a substitute for mindtaker ichor that can anchor to a concept, like my soul or personal identity, rather than my skin. That would make it a lot harder for Chemestro to disable my spells.”

“That would be my first original spell,” Perry said, thoughtfully. “Paradox’s Inimitable Armaments.”

“Once I have that,” Perry continued, “and magical computing, his ass is grass.”

“Couldn’t he still just paste you if he decided he didn’t like losing?” Heather asked.

“Well, yes,” Perry admitted. “But I’m working on it!”

He glanced over at his newest creation which was a simple frame suspended inside a clear tank that would grow graphene and fiberoptic latticework overtop. He’d controlled where the material would grow by using hydrophobic spray paint and masking tape.

Just because the dynamic duo was dumb didn’t mean all their gear sucked, and Perry would happily steal their ideas. Especially if that meant an increased resistance to getting disintegrated by Chemestro.

And carbon was cheap! Fiber optics were a little more expensive, but it wasn’t too bad. It should be far more flexible, absorb damage, self-heal a bit, resist laser fire, AND Chemestro’s powers.

Cost of suit: ~$15000

Still cheap for power-armor, but the most staggering increase in cost Perry had experienced thus far.

It wasn’t done yet, though, so for the time being, Perry had to stick with the mass-produced Mk. 3’s he was making for Locust.

“I should lean heavier on the self-healing next time. I’ve been doing some research.”

“Howsat?”

“The reason a broken piece of metal doesn’t fuse back together the instant it makes contact with itself, is because a microscopic layer of oxide forms on the broken surface, preventing the atoms from bonding again.”

“So if you had metal that was…completely immune to corrosion, it would self-heal?”

“Maybe?” Perry said with a shrug. It was worth a shot. If he could take an alloy that was already highly resistant to corrosion and boost that with his ability, it might make a self-healing material by default.

“As it stands, thatmaterial,” Perry said, pointing at the vat with the frame suspended in it, “only ‘self heals’ because its atomic structure is almost like Velcro, which I find to be a cop-out.”

RIIING!

Perry’s cell phone went off, prompting him to tug it out of his pocket and glance at the caller ID. It had Titan on the pic, benching eight thousand pounds.

Could be important.

“What’s up?” Perry said, leaning away from his workbench and cracking his neck.

WHOOOOOSH!

“What was that?” Perry said, holding the speaker away from his ear with a wince.

“… Is that better!?” Titan shouted over the rush of wind.

“Yeah, what’s up?”

“Well, things kinda went sideways at the bust today! I was hoping you could suit up and check in on the team! Mass Driver was beating us up pretty bad! I’m not gonna land for another couple minutes and it’s looking like it’s gonna be outside the wall, so getting back anytime soon is gonna be a pain in the ass! Could you go in there and pull ‘em out?”

“Sure.” Perry said, standing.

“Thanks!” Titan shouted over the wind. “Later!”

“What’s up?” Heather asked as Perry tucked his phone away.

“Titan’s free falling in the upper atmosphere, and he wanted us to help extract his team. Mass Driver might be there.”

“I have been wanting to beat on him with Anya again,” Heather said, hefting her supernatural beat-stick.

“It’s weird that you named your club,” Perry said as he headed for his armor.

“That is literally the ghost’s name,” Heather said. “What else am I supposed to call her?”

RIINNG!

Perry checked his phone, and saw it was Mom.

Did she need something from the grocery or something? Perry thought as he answered, tucking it to his ear.

“Hey mom, I’m kinda –“

“PARADOX ZAUBERER! Did you summon a greater corruption demon!?”

Mom sounded…displeased.

“Not that I know of, what’s up?”

“Turn on the evening news.”

Heart sinking, Perry did as he was told, revealing the upper half of a greater corruption demon sticking out of a scrapyard, batting at flying supers like King Kong. Dozens of his armors were nearby, fighting the monster any way they could.

A tiny little Hardcase and Warcry were peppering it with attacks.

All the while, the corruption demon was shouting Perry’s full name.

Bring me my contractor, Paradox Zauberer! He will pay for this insolence with his life!

That’s…not a good look for me.

“Welll….” Perry hedged. “I guess I might’ve accidentally summoned a greater Corruption demon.”

Perry wasn’t sure how that happened, because nobody should’ve been able to fire the spell-frame but him…but Murphy’s Law was a bitch.

“You can’t accidentally summon a demon, Paradox.”

“That’s debateable. I’m on my way.”

“How are you not there right now!? You can’t absentee summon a demon, either!” Mom demanded.

“I did say it was an accident. I’ll go clean it up.”

“Oh, Perry!”Mom’s voice came through before Perry could hang up.

“Yeah?”

“You’re grounded.”

“I’ll take that under advisement,” Perry said, hanging up before Mom could get another word in.

Well, that’s gonna bite me in the ass. Now where did I put that corruption demon failsafe?

He glanced over at Heather, who was on the phone as well.

“I know, he probably thought it would get him girls or something nerdy like that.”

‘Vanessa’ she mouthed at him.

Perry shuddered at the mention of one of Heather’s mean-girl friends from high school.

“Listen babe, I got something I gotta take care of, so I gotta let you go. Yeah, it is hilarious. He’s probably gonna be in the slammer for a long time. What!? No, he’s not gonna be rich. Wait, no. Don’t do that-”

Heather’s face went pale and she stared into the distance, shell-shocked as she slowly lowered her phone.

“Vanessa thinks you’re hot now that you’ve got superpowers.”

Ding!

Call me when you get out of super prison, Perry! I always thought you were cute!

-Vanessa Brown

Perry resisted the urge to gag.

Blocked.

“Yeesh, it’s like spiders crawling up my neck. I prefer someone like Hardcase, a thousand times over.” Perry said.

“Same.”

Their eyes narrowed as they stared at each other.

“Dibs!”

***Chemestro***

Why isn’t this working!? Chemestro thought as he felt his power bounce off the creature like the spray of a power-washer. Disintegrating it was out.

He switched tactics and tried to poison it, creating a potent toxin directly under the creature’s nostrils.

Either it didn’t have terrestrial biology or it didn’t breathe, because nothing happened.

The creature sent him an irritated bat while continuing to shout for Paradox .

Chemestro nearly ended up like a bug on a windshield, ducking around the swipe and tumbling in the turbulent of the clawed hand’s passage.

Option three:disable it with the environment.

He made the earth under the monster permeable, intending to smother it.

The creature slipped a couple feet, then slammed its talons into the ground, infecting the ground with a murky brown corruption that followed Chemestro’s powers back to him like a snapped rubber band.

“AGH!” He bit back a scream as his head erupted in pain, the protective charms on his arms and around his neck growing hot.

Chemestro smelled blood, and forced it back into his body.

Option 4 it is.

Chemestro created a guideline of charged air, and stripped the electrons in the air above the monster while simultaneously creating and condensing simple hydrogen/oxygen mix around it.

A fraction of a second later a bolt of lightning fell from the clear sky, electrocuting the creature and detonating its surroundings in a deafening explosion.

The monster’s thrashing and screaming for Paradox ceased, and it slowly turned to look at Chemestro, its smoldering skin rapidly regrowing. It gave him it’s full attention.

“Die.” Its leathery voice echoed through his mind, forcing a kaleidoscope of invasive thoughts of self-mutilation and death to rampage through his thoughts.

Chemestro exploded the creature’s tongue, hissing in pain as the relics scalded his skin.

The tongue grew back in moments, but he didn’t give it the opportunity to speak. He concentrated and unleashed explosion after explosion, focusing on the creature’s face and eyes.

If he had to gradually wear this monster down to a nub of spine sticking out of an interdimensional portal…that’s what he was going to do.

It thrashed wildly, drawing massive gouges in the surrounding scrapyard. Chemestro pulled back, keeping his distance as he continued wearing away at the creature’s face.

It exhaled a brown mist in Chemestro’s direction, which he dodged around. No sense touching whatever that was.

The next second a huge hand cut off Chemestro’s vision of everything, clamping down around him like iron.

“Are you an archmage of this plane?” The creature said, its arm retracting as it held Chemestro up to the massive yellow eyes that had grown back in seconds. The man-sized talon of its thumb was poised above his head, ready to skewer him.

His skin stung where the creature’s gaze landed.

Chemestro tried to make himself permeable to fall through the creature’s hand, but somehow it didn’t work.

A veritable fountain of explosions erupted out from Chemestro, shredding the creature’s hand, but its grip remained tight, flesh regrowing over the bones.

“Amusing, that you limit yourself so.” The creature said, it’s talon touching the crown of his head.

His scalp began to sizzle and the magical protection on his arms began to smoke. Chemestro didn’t scream. He wouldn’t give it the satisfaction.

“Hey!” A voice cut through the pain, and Chemestro caught a glimpse of another Paradox armor, bearing some kind of oversized pipe rifle.

FWOMP!

A massive dart shot out of the gun and lodged itself in the creature’s neck.

“What insolence.” The creature said, plucking the dart out of its neck “The pitiful essence of a lesser Ordenn couldn’t possibly bind my will. Now I will start vivisecting myself that you might remember your dread of me before I leave this plane of existence.”

“Oh no, please don’t,” Paradox’s modulated monotone emerged from the armor.

Chemestro fell to the ground as the creature dropped him and began pulling parts of itself out and setting them on the ground in neat piles.

“More bones. Need those too.” Paradox said.

“Fool! I can regrow bones! Whatever you are planning will not work,” it said, tugging out an ulna bone and beginning another pile beside the eyes and other assorted organs.

“Foiled again,” Paradox said as Chemestro struggled to his feet.

“Remember this humiliation!” the creature said as it shoved itself back through the membrane, disappearing into nothingness.

“Will do.”

Paradox glanced over at Chemestro, his expression concealed by his helmet.

“Are all right, man? I didn’t mean to-“

Something about the Tinker’s casual implication that he’d accidentally nearly killed Chemestro struck a nerve.

“Didn’t mean to!?” Chemestro shouted, tearing Paradox out of his armor and locking his hands around the slender teen’s neck before throttling him.

“You created a projectile that would unleash a city-threatening monster by accident!? What kind of soft-handed upbringing could possibly warp your perception of culpability to that extent!? You were born with EVERYTHING! Friends! Parents! Money! TALENT! You’ve never had to work hard for a thing or take responsibility!

“And you didn’t MEAN TO!?” Chemestro demanded.

“Says the jerk who made me lose it while trying to kill me in the first place!” Paradox shouted, grabbing Chemestro’s hands and prying them away from his neck with strength dwarfing what he’d had only a month prior.

How is he so much stronger already!? Chemestro thought, gritting his teeth and forcing Paradox’s hand’s back.

A throat cleared beside them.

“Trouble, boys?” Solaris asked, standing only a few feet away.

“No, sir,” Chemestro said, straightening, dropping the conflict immediately as he reigned in his temper.

“…sir.” Paradox said, straightening himself eventually.

“Paradox, you’ve got damages.” Solaris said.

“But they-“ Paradox pointed towards Chemestro and the Dynamic duo peeking out from behind a pile of rusted car parts.

“Who made the demon bomb?” Solaris asked.

“Me, sir.”

Don’t make a demon-bombs if you don’t want demons, kid.”

“Sir.”

“And who supplied Locust with discount power armor?”

“Me, sir.” Paradox said, slumping.

“Not illegal, but it did escalate this conflict.”

Solaris scanned the ruined scrapyard and the surrounding houses, some of which were leveled.

“You’ll be getting a letter from Nexus, Paradox.”

He turned his gaze Chemestro. “Good work, kid, but work on that temper.”

“Sir.” Chemestro said.

He should’ve been happy that Paradox was going to spend the next few weeks being absolutely destroyed publicly and financially, but all he could think about was how that demon had toyed with him.

And how Paradox had toyed with the demon.

It grated on him.

When Chemestro arrived back at the geriatric house he’d bought, he paced back and forth in the kitchen, fuming as he struggled to bring his emotions back under control.

A lifetime of grueling effort, and Paradox was catching up. Quickly.

Chemestro didn’t flinch when the well-dressed old man arrived, manifesting out of darkness.

“Get lost,” Chemestro said before the old man had the opportunity to give him another sales pitch.

“You can’t tell me you’re not tempted.” The man reached into his coat and produced the same iridescent potion sloshing around inside a vial. “You could’ve defeated that demon with this…”

Chemestro turned to stare into the white-maned man’s eyes.

“Offer me something I could defeat you with, and maybe we’d have a deal.”

The old man’s face froze for just a moment before it split into a toothy grin.

“Hah!” he barked, before descending into uncontrollable laughter.

“I like you more and more,” The old man said, wiping a tear from his eye as he recovered. “Well… I’ll think about it.”

He vanished, leaving the iridescent potion behind, resting on a doily.