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 So my thought was Perry goes to Washington city, does an inordinate amount of battling, (like, non-stop) and maybe the city collapses, and he escorts as many people back to Franklin city as he can on the train, and when he arrives back, Franklin city is under some kind of vantablack dome that eats all light and doesn't allow any matter to leave once inside.This stems from multiple people suggesting attacks by major city-destroying villains like The slaughterhouse Nine.of course it won't be them, but it'll be something. The volume would end with Perry entering the sphere.THoughts? I of course, want to eventually kill Perry's entire family to reap that juicy energy, but volume one is just way too early. Let's let him be a kid for a little while longer.let me know your thoughts below.

Comments

Apotheosis

To be fair, it did save him from the mimic soul eating him although his dad only had a gut feeling about it at the time.

JB424222

Interesting idea. I assume he would level from the fighting and the saving as many people from the city as possible. Why not make it a spell from an intelligent Prawn?

The Human

His grandma should survive, whenever his parents die, spread the harvest out

Jeremiah

Do what you feel makes sense as the author. One thing I would add, however; is not to take too much agency away from the characters for too long. When a character is just 'riding the Rollercoaster' of catastrophic events and being forced into one situation after another with little direction or choice beyond reacting it becomes rote very quickly.

Mani

whoa! feels drastic compared to the story so far honestly. And too much fighting can be a slog if it's not distinct and meaningful, which most of the action in the story so far has been, but i worry about oversaturation. Though Washington city falling is certainly sure to up the stakes in the conflict between humanity and the high tide. The high tide has sorta felt like a background thing/something for later.

Black hole

you had me right up until the "kill Perry's entire family" bit. I mean its definitely your style, but you've been laying it on relatively lightly in this story and that seems like a massive leap. bit unsatisfying too now that you just layed it out for us to contemplate. aside from that hang up it sounds good if a bit fight heavy.

The Human

Vantablack dome suggests either a specifically anti Solaris measure, or Solaris absorbing all light to fuel him for some reason. Maybe it kinda is 'removing the safety wheels' and he's having to use all available light within range to pin a bigbad(tm), so suddenly the veiled threat keeping everything together is gone? Chemestro's summoning gone wrong? Something following the refugees from the fallen magic earth? (perry has to go over with his mom and dad to try and sort it out at the source, that's what sets up losing them? )

Gerald Monroe

Absolutely. What makes a macronomicon fic is creating these scenarios. And then our character finds an exploit - a way to turn the tables. It's vantablack but does it stop every power or effect perry has access to? Can he create a quest to deal with the situation and get unfair information about his opponent? His parents died and inconveniently the resurrection spells are difficult and unreliable. You would need to cast like a computer and have perfect spell ingredients to get a decent resurrection. Oh wait...

Carl Mason

Is book two going to be a drama instead of a comedy? Because this feels like a major course correction. Especially the, agreed, still too early death of his family.

Reyhulko

Mh, a question for you: how far is Grandma Zauberer is going to go to push his dear nephew? Or, could be a move to negate Solaris power? So a coup?

hefeystus

villain whose delusion is thinking that he is Worm!Jack but totally fails to manipulate anyone xD

Johnny2by4

Family killing seems a bit much and seems to happen a lot in superhero stories, I think the lighter tone currently works really well. Really enjoy the family interactions in this story.

JoBo12

Action so far has been so interesting because it was driven by the interplay between strong characters. With the main cast in number already greatly reduced in Washington City I agree that fighting would probably become a slog to read unless new characters are introduced. And more character introductions would be odd for what would be the volume 1 climax. This story would likely work better with Washington as the first arc of volume 2, but then volume 1 is missing a climax. I feel the best climax for volume 1 would be something to highlight how Paradox and company have successfully established themselves in super society but still have a long way to go. Maybe a clash with his dad trying to rob him could be interesting, idk. No matter what, inserting another thing before Washington would likely reacquire a retcon of the train schedule.

Macronomicon

Hey, if that's what people wanna see, I'm happy to do it. I just have a self-destructive nature.

M.J. Markgraf

Yeah, I don't think the family killing fits too much in the story. But... if they disappear and the MC thinks they died only to stumble upon clues that they are alive, that's a more compelling read.

Seadrake

He finally finds the parents and they ask why he is interrupting their honeymoon. Turns out the "clues" were an announcement of their honeymoon.

Macronomicon

I could continue layign it on light if thats what people want. I just twitch in the direction of dark and need to reel it back.

Reyhulko

I'm totally with you on this, maybe it was all a plot from grandma Z. who made Perry believe they died so she would be his only family member and she finally could (try to) mold him properly as a price? (Yes, i'm a fan of grandma!)

Joe ?

I don't think his entire family should die. But maybe his mom should by sacrificing herself to save perry from a massive threat that he indirectly caused. This can snap Perry out of his encroaching psychopathy, while giving him an emotional trial to pass through. Maybe he comes out the other side more grounded and attached to the people in his life. Maybe his dad interprets it as Nexus's fault and let's go of what's holding him back from true pragmatic supervillainy. Perry can try to stop him in the beginning and get absolutely bodied when his dad stops putting on a show. His grandmother can become terrified of losing anymore family and try to reconcile with Perry. Lots of good emotional stuff there

Patrick

The Slaughterhouse Nine was one of the most boring parts of Worm. Please don't emulate that.

Notcreepycreeper

Yeah, i think it would be drastic for the mood of this story. The nice thing about Super Minion was how it was slice of life in that crazy dystopia. This story does this, but with some more actual plot - which i appreciate. This doesnt have to be a light story, but “Chemistro got magic and murked everyone giving our MC his Sasuke-type motivation” isnt fun, its just kinda edgy for the sake of it. On the other-hand, say Solaris kills his dad OR mom, bc they were about to do something that would upend the city, would be more grey. Then we get to see Perry’s character development on whether to go on a revenge arc or not. That’s just a random example, but my point is, this story doesnt do grim-dark or gratuitous violence for the sake of it, and i hope that doesnt change.

LordDark

I would say killing his family is a step too far. I would reccomend having every major hero minus grandma bum rush a ebemy flagship that flys away with them in it to dimensions unknown. Lose the dome it is too obvious of a trap, maybe instead have the entire city getting attacked by something like the traveller in destiny.

Black hole

its not so much that I like it light, as it is killing them for "juicy energy" doesn't quite fit with the story as it is. also it really feels like a up-scaled fridging, and I feel like you can do a lot better than that old trope.

Rhaid

Seems like a major tonal shift in the story.

JoBo12

If you want to be a little more dark you kind of already have the perfect setup in the eldritch madness caused by The Tide. This has already been introduced and touched upon, making it's exploration a more natural tone shift. It would also give you the option to return towards a lighter tone after brief darker tangents. The fall of Washington City is already not as light as previous events. If you supplement this with a super delving into astronomy in an attempt to gain enough power to save their city you could still have a slightly darker tone. This would also serve as a very personal parallel for Paradox.

Notcreepycreeper

Honestly im here for the characters over the fight scenes. Unless u can make me care about Washington City in just a couple chapters, I’m going to be a little bored, even as Perry plays with new toys/powers and the Power of Friendship to try and save the city. It feels a little Shonin, especially bc the arc would be completely out of the blue. If u want a Kaiju battle climax, what if the prawns break into Franklin City? Idk where the factory is, ut maybe its close to the wall, and now Perry has to fight crazy shit while trying to protect his employees? Maybe Tung Stan or Locust dies? Maybe Chemistro becomes an almost ally, and e see his character development, until he betrays everyone to get closer to daddy’s dream? Either way, having a whole city destroyed feels like something that still needs to build to. Anyway, those are my essays, definitely deep contemplation and not a means to procrastinate from mind-numbing work…which i should maybe start on. Love this series so far!!

Pastor Joubert

I was hoping for a more relaxed story, oh well. Thems there the crumbles

Rosnoc

Bit early to kill the parents. I'd love to see him spend a bit more time with them first. Especially if you do kill them off. Perry gets snippets about his mother when she was young from the book and you see the two together. But there's been alot less between him and his dad. Which surprises me a bit because with how hard his dad worked to make him a tinker. I figured there would be alot more scenes between the two of them geeking out about tinker tech. I know that's slightly hard to pull off because obviously we want him to be his own man tech wise. But I'd love to see at least a bit more father son mad scientist bonding.

NoodleGod

You've written a novel based on character interaction and power growth. If you do decide to follow in the footsteps of Worm, remember that Worm's driving impetus was just endless escalation of conflict. You'll probably lose the readers who came here for the character interaction. Honestly I'd recommend going slowly with power growth and coming up with different kinds of antagonists, perhaps an evil corporation, selling something that is harming customers and muscling on perry, perhaps a political opponent that badmouths perry on TV, and come up with an outline of point, counterpoint, and go from there

Christian Mordal

Im honestly liking this story for the humour. Even though I still think he went way too easy on his father after he fucked him out of magic and pigeonholed him into being a tinker without him having any say in it. Thats the kind of stuff thats really not OK. Also not really sure why he put up with his grandmother treating him like absolute shit. Still dont think his family should die at all. Maybe his grandmother. Not really a fan of people who supposedly loves him just blatantly manipulating him.

Deinos

Yaaaa kill all people! But first make them naked.

Derek Engols

Going to agree with the general sentiment here. I say build up the world more before major leaps. Right now you have a city, we're about to see a second city, what's the world like outside of that? High tide has only mentioned going up a hundred feet the first time, we got plenty of land in the US a few thousand feet up. Where have new cities popped up? Do any groups live outside city walls? Is it mad max out there? It appears we're in a city-state kind of political situation, what about other countries? They're not relevant now but when we take a step back, is anywhere else in similar situations? India, china, other population dense areas far outstrip the US in how many people could trigger, are they caught up in power struggles? Has the government there limited super growth? It looks like you have a cosmic scale opponent to build up to

BubblyGhost

Do it Mac, kill the parents. You know you want to.

Marcel Ortlepp

On the one hand I really enjoy being part of your thought process and it is really cool to be part of the creative process. No other author I follow communicates so openly about what he plans and which problems he sees with the readers suggested path for his story. On the other hand there are posts like this one. Spoilers that feel like a casual drive by shooting. I feel a bit torn up. I think I would like an „only content no spoilers“ support option. Am I the only one with this problem? I don’t like you killing Perry‘s parents just FYI I think Grandma would go on a rampage.

SunderGoldmane

What I’ve seen so far makes the idea of Perry’s parents dying but not Perry seem far fetched.

SunderGoldmane

He got tinker circumcised. He’ll get over it, we all do.

SunderGoldmane

One of my favorite scenes so far with Perry’s dad was when he pushed hardcase into a tinker twitch while out to eat.

A disgruntled nondescript squirrel

that seems like a bad idea, it would push him way to far towards a psychotic breaking point based on his existing condition or make him into an unlikable emo edgelord. Murdered parents doesn't make you Batman and Batman is an unlikable asshole.

Christian Mordal

Well, since its ok to remove your family’s traits, it should be totally ok if he made some nanobots to neuter his dad aswell, since he will probably miss that as much as perry missed his magic.

Ceranai

I like his parents, and think killing them is a bit cheap; its very cliché.

Carl Mason

He wasn't circumcised, he was castrated. Entirely different and separate situation, if related.

Adam Roundfield

Killing off the parents would seem cliche... Isekai the parents!

Leander

Both options seem pretty shortsighted. Destroying washington in a frenzy of non-stop action, followed by another city-threatening episode would VERY rapidly erode further escalation potential. And killing the parents would just be cliché misery porn. Maim them if you have to, make them forcibly retire. That would give you the combined boons of the misery for character development and still have them around to give advice and familial love. A win-win for everyone involved.

melchi

Ditto on the parents getting killed.it happens way too much.

melchi

If you don't want to write about parents anymore any other thing other than death would be better. Even amnesia like a soap opera is better. Or something weird like their souls get caught and set to the demonic plane of corruption turning them into vegetables.

austin kutz

If the family die, he should become unstable, which wouldn't really be much fun to read. I could see his parents getting trapped burying grandma, but they send a message not to worry because they're having fun anyway, or something like that. Solaris later leaves to get them to come back, leaving Chemestro provisionally in charge of the sweepers. Perry and Chemestro grow to respect and appreciate each other through their efforts to defend the city. But they'd still screw the other over if they could, just respect

Froyo Baggins

Yeah, these are both terrible ideas that would probably cause me to stop reading. Keep his parents, don't do anything to them. The easiest solution here is to just have him MOVE. Give him a good reason and move him and possibly his whole team to another city if you want them out of the equation.

John Warren

I hate the idea of fridging the parents. The humor is part of what makes this story great. If you go down that route any attempts at humor afterwards would feel cheap.

STORRM

man i can not get behind killing his parents unless its just them faking there deaths or something and there back like 2 chapters later