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I WANT TO BE A WALL: Manga Volume 1 Reaction! PATREON COMMISSION! (Patreon)

Published:
2026-06-05 17:00:07
Imported:
2026-06
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Content

*PLATONICALLY BONDED HEADPHONE WARNINGS*

It seems very fitting that I'm commissioned this story that I have a LOT of connection to -- she's attracted to no one and he's attracted to men -- and now they're MARRIED! This story was such a heartfelt ride, already!

Thanks to patron Zachiel for commissioning this fantastic volume! I HAVE to check out Volumes 2 and 3 this summer, now!

Thank you for watching with me and for all the support!

Files

Romania Black - I WANT TO BE A WALL: Manga Volume 1 Reaction! PATREON COMMISSION!

**PLATONICALLY BONDED HEADPHONE WARNINGS** It seems very fitting that I'm commissioned this story that I have a LOT of connection to -- she's attracted to no one and he's attracted to men -- and now they're MARRIED! This story was such a heartfelt ride, already! Thanks to patron Zachiel for commissioning this fantastic volume! I HAVE to check out Volumes 2 and 3 this summer, now! Thank you for watching with me and for all the support! #romaniablack #Iwanttobeawall #mangareaction #asexual #patreoncommission Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/RomaniaBlack My Anime: https://myanimelist.net/profile/RomaniaBlack Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/RomaniaBlack You can mail me a letter or anything (except food, please) at this address: Romania Black PO Box 768 Harrisburg, IL 62946 USA

Comments

Shimoyama

I blame the name of Sousuke! (Skip and Loafer) Also, Banana Fish reference… I just bought it and read right before your video I'm opened Asexual Wile I was young, I suffered but now I forget all of my worries! I don't spread my sexuality but I can share it if someone asks me People can see I'm a wierdo and don't say anything to me even my family Luckily I have my younger brother and he has two lovely kids so my father is satisfied I can't imagine that I have to live with other person! For me, every fiction is my safe place I read manga, novels, and watch anime and movies of love between the same sex, different sexes, BL and GL (since BL and GL are different from the reality) I love fictional stories My friends say that they can go back to the students era whenever they meet me I have no change And I accept that It took years to come to me And I live happily but sometimes I forget my wierdness

Zachiel

Thank you so much for fufilling my commission, I'm so happy you enjoyed it! I'm not on the aro ace spectrum but I've always felt that platonic relationships, espaiclly male female ones are under appreciated in a romance centric world. I also really love manga that explore queer themes outside of just same sex romance. I'm very excited that you want to read the other volumes and I hope you enjoy them too. I actually got into yaoi for the same reason as yuriko, I felt pressured by heteronormativity and had internalized homophobia towards my attraction to women so reading romance without women at all felt like an escape from those feelings. I think that its a surprisingly common experince among female bl fans.

Rose Jennison

Sounding off! ^.^ I too found Yuriko very relatable! And thought Gaku was so sweet with how he tried so hard to be there for her and be a good husband despite the circumstances of their marriage. Can definitely relate to finding myself needing to read volumes 2 and 3 once I finished this one, so I’m very excited to hear you’ll be doing the same later 😄 I feel like Yuriko is a little silly for trying to hide the BL though. I understand that it’s considered an embarrassing hobby, but come on girl! These are his people! If he can’t have the real life romance he wants then at least let him explore the fiction! :P Thanks so much for the video!

romaniablack

I can so see Skip and Loafer to blame! XD Thank you for sharing your story and for the solidarity in asexuality -- I agree -- my family gives me grief sometimes because they don't have grandchildren, but at the same time, I am happy with the life I live at the moment -- and yes, BL/GL/Romance all work for me because they don't involve myself in them. I'm glad you've found peace with yourself and happiness -- but I don't consider it "weird" - it's just a "normal" for myself. The only weird ones are those that aren't accepting. Thank you for the comment!!

romaniablack

THANK YOU for commissioning this series! I am really excited to get to the other volumes -- I really like the way that platonic relationships are under-appreciated in media is something I am glad this series addresses. And yes, the exploration of queer themes are really intriguing so far! And thank you for sharing your perspective, story, and reasons for getting into BL -- I really appreciate hearing that and can relate in ways as well! Thank you for the comment, and I'm excited to spend the next two months with this series!

Sunspots

Loved the reaction and discussion! I’d only read a few chapters of this before so it was nice to finally finish the first volume alongside your reaction. 🥰 I think while going through the reaction I remembered exactly when I dropped it that first time, and it was as soon as it seemed like Yuriko’s “shipping” of Gaku took over. I really relate to enjoying the observation of romance where there is no (even tangential) possibility of being some kind of object within it… but for me that stops as soon as it seems to touch “real” people (even within the boundaries of the story), and starts presenting a kind of objectifying POV where a character's real feelings and real pain start bordering on being “content” for another. I need Yuriko to improve on that front a bit, hopefully she will in future volumes. 🙏 I do love that the reaction helped me get over the hump of those pages, like crossing a little treacherous footbridge with help. 😆🫶 And I think what I like most of all about the work so far is that they are quite open with one another and are not lying to each other, that’s the most important to me. 🥰 Also agreed, I am really looking forward to very soon hitting 40 and that reducing the number of times anyone ever asks about children on a logarithmic scale. 🤣 Every grey hair in my eyebrows will be worth it. 🤣 Now, themes of resistance?! Plenty! 😆 Very clearly resistance against heteronormativity. But here, to me what is most interesting is the clear presentation of marriage as an instrument of care, companionship and mutual protection, rather than the absolute prioritisation of sex (meaning that it essentially becomes civil insurance designed to increase the likelihood of procreation). Honestly, in terms of our society I really expected by now a somewhat more common acceptance of a variety of arrangements (especially considering the capitalist hellscape we exist in), but we’re really not there at all yet. Hopefully soon! Thank you to Zachiel for the commission! 🥰 Looking forward to the next entry! 💙

romaniablack

Yuriko is so relatable -- thank you for sounding off! And Gaku trying so hard to be a good husband and partner is really sweet -- yes, despite their circumstances, especially! Yeah, the fact that the series right now is only 3 volumes makes it seem much more manageable! I wonder if she's so used to people not relating to her love of BL, she has some hidden shame that Gaku won't understand and will judge her -- I could see that being judged by someone you live with would be pretty miserable...but yes, girl, Gaku seems open-minded! I hope that he's able to show that to her in some way as the series goes on - yeah, and maybe the fiction will help him find some satisfaction that he's not getting with his current crush. Thank you for the comment! I'm so ready for volume 2!

romaniablack

Thank you so much for reading along with me and getting to finish the first volume! I definitely can agree that I don’t want her to “ship” Gaku and his friend – I think Gaku should express his feelings, but he has his own journey to do that – maybe she can help him through her stash of BL to read about it, since he seems to not know what to do with those feelings; like you said, maybe we shall see! I do like how Gaku is so caring and how open and communicative they are in their support of one another – Hahaha, and I’m glad that I’m not the only one that wants to get to a point where asking about kids will be taken less into consideration as a conversation starter. Definitely the theme of resistance against heteronormativity – I agree; it’s interesting in how clearly marriage is presented as protection, companionship, and care – but I agree, you would think multiple arrangements of living would be normalized by now; I wish! It’s at least progressed in the last few decades, maybe, but there’s a LONG way to go – still, progress! Onwards! Zachiel did great recommending this! And I have a feeling you’ll enjoy this coming week’s entry as well! 😀Thank you for the comment!

Nicolas

Mmm I have some thoughts HAHA. But I’ll have to take my time on this one because while I enjoyed the first volume I wasn’t- how should I word this. A bit uncomfortable with one of the main leads shipping their spouse with others. Like another one of their readings/books. Even if it is a “lavender marriage.” So I do hope the future volumes Yoriko wont see her husband’s friendship with Sousuke as “content.” However, I think she has gotten more sympathetic as we go on. (when she cried for him) Ugh my heart. On another note, I do appreciate the approach with queer themes and ofc having some aro/ace representation. 🥳 That was honestly a pleasant surprise. Gaku however, is the one who surprised me the most. I often don’t find myself finding BL characters or (or in this case a queer man in a slice of life manga) works all that relatable even though I’m a queer man myself but hearing his story… mmm idk if I like how much I could relate to him XD. Definitely need some time to complete my thoughts later today. Anyway…. Glad you had this commissioned! I’m not sure if I would have picked this up tbh so awesome pick Zachiel! Edit: So yeah, overall this was a pretty neat read and I'm just as invested! It's refreshing so I was immediately drawn into the first chapter. It's nice to hear you connect a lot with Yuriko. It's so rare for me to see some aro representation. I will say I'm a bit envious of how much space she has for her books cause WOW- she could literally have a mini library of BL haha. Love that she's organized it to her taste. I guess for me I would probably separate them by genre instead. Is it rom com or a drama. Is this series really dark? Interesting and I'm a little sad she turned down Gaku's book club offer! I'm sure she'd have alot of fun but I COMPLETELY understand her boundaries about it. I'm afraid I'd be the same way about it. I would need more than one person in that book club at least. Anyhow there's not all that much left to say except for how I really understand the feelings Gaku had experienced. Choosing to go to a different school... wow. Just to avoid being near Sousuke. Oof. A little too real. I don't personally like talking about my love life- or the lack of thereof. In that front I can relate to Yuriko with having little experience with romantic affection. I had maybe one true love for a man. And that happened to be a dear friend ages ago. A little bit after Gaku. (It was middle school) but I saw alot of myself in Gaku when we read how it dawned on Gaku what was weird about feeling distressed about seeing him friend with another. His gf. The confusion and pain that came along knowing you'll never be of interest. There came a point where I was concerned my feelings for my friend would never go away. It went on for... it's hard to say how long it was because you don't just stop loving someone from night to day. So maybe... 6 years. It was a difficult time because all too often we come across each other when I tried so desperately to avoid him. I was never strong enough to stay friends (not to mention the denial I was in that I liked guys) because it in my head- it was sorta a betrayal. "You don't have romantic feelings for a friend." Life definitely had a twisted sense of humor. The following year when I came to realize my feelings I ended up with having EVERY class with him. Every little thing I did I found myself being so embarrassed. If I even so much dropped a pencil and he was looking I got embarrassed. I hated the way my body betrayed me because not only would my face redden- my ears got red as well. Countless times my peers asked me if I had a fever- all this too say- Gaku you're not alone 😭 but it's nice to finally have a character I can relate with when it comes to their love life. Eventually my feelings did in fact fade and I moved on since. I do look back on it fondly though. I learned a lot from it and I hope he's doing well. We have not kept contact but we do share a little of the same friend group so occasionally I hear little things. I'm kinda rooting for Gaku to also be able to confess (cause j certainly wasn't brave enough 🥹❤️) even if Sousuke truly doesn't reciprocate. If the series does go another route (they see each other) that would be awesome too but for me personally- I'd be underwhelmed. Thank you for sharing your experiences as well Romania! It's not easy to talk about myself so having you share makes me feel comfortable enough to share as well. Looking forward to the next commission 🥳

Nicolas

I do think that’s hilarious cause I’m the same way with Yuriko 😭 talk and ramble BL online? I’m a-okay and I fanboy away. IRL??? I would want the earth to swallow me. Maybe I just haven’t made a friend that has my same interest and even then I’d be too mortified probably. Pfft “his people” haha. Idk why that tickled me so much. I wonder what’s next commission could possibly be… hehehe

romaniablack

Yeah, I’m not really into her “shipping” Gaku with his crush, but I think it might be a learning point for her as we go. I’m not one to ship real people, as well. I have the same hopes as you! Honestly, a spouse/partner that approves of you filling your living room with yaoi? Dream and goals! XD I would just have to have them by “series” and go from there! Gaku’s story was so heartbreaking and I wanted to give him a huge hug! The mangaka portrayed his confusion and pain, like you noted, really well – thank you for sharing your story and connection with him as well. I think there are a lot of people that can relate in some way to Gaku’s story, which shows how pertinent it is. I kind of hope that Gaku is able to confess, even if Sosuke can’t reciprocate. That would at least give him some closure. It’s great having some Aro/Ace representation and Gaku’s story was really powerful. Zachiel picked a great story for us and I’m intrigued to see where this goes! Thank you for the kind words and comment and I’m glad this channel is a safe space for us all to be able to talk and relate to these works! <3 We have some GREAT commissions this month!