Gooner Squad Getting Sex Lessons From My Friend's Older Brother (Patreon)

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Chapter 1: Sharing a Blanket

Through the wall behind Colin's bed, a bedframe started squeaking rhythmically.

His parents both worked until six, which is why his house was where we ended up every day back then. His room was upstairs at the end of the hall, carpet the color of oatmeal, one window that looked at the neighbor's garage. Four of us were spread out on that carpet with a video playing on Danny's phone, some clip of a guy getting launched off a jet ski, and Ty was halfway through saying something about the guy's shorts when he put a hand up and said shut up.

"What," Danny said.

"Shut up. Listen."

The video paused, and we were all quiet. We heard the bedframe squeaking. 

"Is your brother..." someone said to Colin.

"Shh," he responded quickly.

The rhythm was slow and heavy, a knock every couple of seconds, like somebody was testing whether it could take weight. Then Andrew's voice came through, muffled, deep enough that I felt it in my teeth even at half volume through drywall. 

“Turn over,” he said plainly, and we heard them shuffle around. 

She made a noise, and then I could just barely hear her say, “It’s too much... You’re so big it’s crazy.”

The frame picked up speed again.

Nobody said anything out loud at first. We just moved. Danny got up off his stomach and I turned around and the four of us ended up sitting against the foot of Colin's bed quietly, backs to the mattress, facing the wall like there was a TV on it, shoulder to shoulder.

I had a full tent in my basketball shorts, experiencing the closest thing I had ever had to real sex, which was listening to it on the other side of a wall. And when I looked around, my friends' boners were as apparent as mine. 

They seemed to wake up to the fact at the same time. Danny crossed his legs while Ty grabbed the front of his hoodie and pulled it down over his lap, holding it there with both fists. I put my forearm across mine and just pressed it into my thigh, getting some relief from the pressure, and Colin did the exact same thing a second later, and then all four of us looked at each other doing it.

"Don't," Danny said.

"I didn't say anything," Ty said.

The frame kept knocking. She said something we couldn't make out and Andrew laughed in his lower voice, and I felt it.

"Okay," Colin said. "We should go do... the thing."

That's how we always referred to it, since the loose ritual began on the first day that our hormones were too much after seeing something stimulating on a movie or TV show, all of us bricked up at the same time. If we were alone, we knew we'd be spanking it, but with the boys around, other measures needed to be devised. So "the thing" meant that everybody would split up, somebody taking the downstairs bathroom, somebody taking the upstairs one, whoever's house it is stays in his own room and whoever is left tries to find a private space, even a backyard shed if needed. We would all reconvene a few minutes later and never actually say what we did.

But today, nobody moved.

"I'm not walking away from this," Ty said. "I'm sorry. I'm not."

"We're being so creepy right now," Danny said. He said it to the ceiling. "Like actually."

"We're gooners," I said. "That's not new."

Ty pointed at me without looking away from the wall. Danny didn't argue. And then the actual problem showed up, which was four guys sitting in a row with nothing over any of us.

"Blanket," Ty said.

"I only have one blanket," Colin said.

"Get it."

"We can all use it," Danny said, and hearing Danny say it was funnier than anything else that happened that whole afternoon, because thirty seconds earlier he'd been the conscience of the group.

Colin got up on his knees and dragged the comforter off his bed and shook it out over the four of us, and we pulled it up to our chests and got settled again, backs against the foot of the mattress, hips touching on both sides of me, all of us facing the wall.

Under the blanket we all shuffled around, and every waistband came down at once. I hooked my thumbs in my shorts and boxers together and shoved them to my thighs and heard three other sets of elastic snapping at the same moment, and then it was four bare asses on Colin's oatmeal carpet under one comforter. My shoulder was against Colin's shoulder. Ty's knee was against mine on the other side.

And we each had our hands on our dicks. Eyes on the wall. Jerking off without porn. It felt strangely retro.

Andrew sped up in there. The shelf above Colin's bed rattled every time the frame hit, and a paperback and a stick of deodorant on that shelf started moving on their own with the shaking, moving maybe a quarter inch per thrust toward the edge. I watched the deodorant more than I watched anything else for a stretch, because it told me the rhythm exactly, and I matched my hand to it. I could only picture what was going on in the next room, the sounds confirming it. I picked up the pace on my dick, and so did everybody, from the sound of it. Four guys breathing through their noses in time with a piece of Old Spice migrating across the shelf.

"Nobody finish," Ty said.

"Obviously," Colin said.

"What are we supposed to..." Danny said.

"We'll figure it out."

"We've been doing this since forever," Ty said. 

"Not like this."

"Pro gooners never fail."

"I do," Colin said, making the rest of us chuckle.

So we stayed there. Andrew and his girl were loud through the wall in bursts and quiet in between, and Andrew said something to her every so often, short things, and every time he did I lost a little ground on my edging game and had to slow my hand down.

Colin's forearm kept bumping my thigh under the blanket. Once, then again, then a third time, and it wasn't him getting comfortable, because his arm was moving with the same rhythm as mine. Then the bump stopped being a bump and his knuckles were resting against the top of my leg, and then his hand wasn't on himself anymore. It was on me.

I didn't move for a second. Then I let go of my own and took him in my fist instead, which is the first time in my life I had ever held another guy's dick, and it was hot and heavier than I expected and already wet at the tip. He was thicker than me. It felt big in my hands. I found the rhythm again off the shelf shaking and matched my hand to it.

"It feels better when someone else does it," Colin said. "Not gonna lie."

"Yeah," I said, and I nodded, and I kept nodding after the sentence was over because I couldn't think of anything else to do with my head while I was in the novel position of sharing impromptu handjobs with my friend.

Past him, Ty and Danny sorted themselves out the same way. I didn't watch. I heard the blanket shift twice, and then I heard Danny exhale, short, and I knew whose hand was where.

"Stop," Ty said after a while. "Stop stop stop."

Danny stopped. We all stopped, actually, all four hands going still at once under the comforter like we'd all been the one asked. Then we started again.

That's how it went for a while. Somebody would say stop and everybody would freeze and we'd sit there listening to Andrew work with our fists full of each other, and then Andrew would change the pace and one of us would start moving again and the rest would follow. Colin had me in his hand the whole time, his grip loose and clumsy and a beat behind the rhythm, and I bumped my hips up into it once without meaning to and then held still, because asking him to do it better felt like a bigger step than what we were already doing.

Then the frame next door went hard and short, three or four fast ones, followed by a harder pounding than we had heard this whole time. He slammed hard for thirty seconds straight or more, and the deodorant finally fell off the shelf, and the book fell over, and the girl's voice pitched up and cut off until the only vocals we heard came from Andrew grunting.

"He's cumming," Colin said, and I felt him throb in my hand.

I stopped stroking him. I didn't let go, though. My fist clamped down on him instead, hard, because my whole body did that, and Colin made a sound like he'd been elbowed in the stomach.

"Um," he said.

His body jerked once, his hips coming up off the carpet, and even the other two could tell what was happening. I felt him swell and then pulse in my hand. Once, hard, and then again, and I felt it hit my knuckles and run down over my fingers, warm and slippery, more of it than I would have guessed. I kept my grip. He pulsed a third time and a fourth, smaller, his thigh shaking against mine, and I stayed right where I was through all of it with my hand full and sliding and his whole body locked up next to me under the blanket.

"Bro," Ty said.

"Shut up," Colin said. He was breathing through his mouth.

"You lost."

"I... know."

Nobody had called it a contest, but it made sense at the time.

I finally opened my hand. It was coated with his slime. There was nothing under that blanket to put it on except Colin, so I left it on his thigh and let it sit there, and my own dick ached against my stomach hard enough that I was calculating whether I could get a hand on it without it being a whole thing that everyone would comment on.

Next door dropped to low voices. Hers first, quick and apologetic, "Sorry I really have to go." 

Then his, deep, not happy about what she said. 

She said something back with a sense of hurry in her voice, and I caught "before" and I caught "your mom," and then the sound of a drawer, a zipper, and none of us moved fast enough to do anything about it before there were footsteps in the hall.

Colin's door had been open the entire time. We were so engrossed with what was happening that nobody once got up and closed it, and we didn't have time to really do anything about it other than keep the blanket covering us.

She came past the doorway with her shoes in one hand. Blonde, ponytail redone badly, one strap of her top twisted. She went by, and then she stopped, and she came back a half step and looked in at the four of us sitting in a row on the carpet against the bed under one blanket.

She raised an eyebrow. "Hi Colin... and Colin's friends."

"Hey," he said with a nod, keeping his hands below the blanket.

She looked at each of us, took her time about it, then kept going down the hall, and we listened to her go down the stairs, and the front door pull open and shut behind her. And there was quiet again.

"Okay," Danny said.

"Don't," Ty said.

"I'm not saying anything."

Before we digested what had just happened, Andrew came out of his room next a moment later. He walked into the hallway naked, and from the carpet I was looking up at him at an angle that made him look about nine feet tall. He had a wide chest, clearly defined abs that had just gotten a workout, and a sheen of sweat on him, light chest hair matted down the middle of his pecs, stomach flexed, just from standing there. His big dick hung between his legs still half hard over a pair of large balls, wet and shining under the hall light, swinging when he stopped walking. His looked double the size of mine, maybe more.

He stopped in Colin's doorway with a hand on the frame and looked at us and started laughing.

"You boys enjoy the show?" He was scanning down the row, left to right. "Pervs."

"Yeah," Colin said.

Andrew laughed harder, tilting his head back, and everything on him moved, and I watched it happen from the floor with my own hand still sticky with Colin's jizz, and my own dick still raging, up against my stomach, and I didn't look away.

"Yeah," Andrew said. "Okay."

He pushed off the doorframe and walked down the hall to the bathroom.

None of us pulled our shorts up. The four of us sat there looking at each other, the deodorant on the carpet, the book on its face. Nobody reached for their waistband. My hand was still under the blanket and I put it back on Colin's leg, on top of the mess I had left there, and started rubbing the cum into his thigh without really thinking about it, slowly, in small circles, the same way I did with my own load sometimes when I was too lazy to get up and find a sock. It was already getting dry and sticky on the soft skin on the inside of his leg. He didn't move his leg away.

"So that happened," Ty said.

"Yep," Colin said.

"Danny jerked me off," Ty said.

"You jerked me off too, bro."

"I know."

Colin's hair on his thigh pulled under my fingers as the stuff dried. I could feel his pulse in his leg, still fast. His own hand had never come off me, it had just stopped, and now it tightened once, like he was reminding me it was there.

Ty leaned forward on my other side and looked down the row at all of us. "We're not done, right? Like nobody's done except him."

"I'm not done," Colin said quietly.

"I'm not done," I said, and my dick was still standing up against my stomach under the comforter to prove it.

None of us said anything else about what we were doing. We continued jerking each other off until Andrew appeared again in the doorway.

He was still naked, towel over one shoulder, and he had gotten a little harder in the time he was gone, his dick hanging lower and heavier than when he walked past the first time. He leaned on the doorframe again and looked down the row at the four lumps under his brother's comforter, all of them still moving.

"Before I shower," he said, "I'm guessing you guys wanna know what a real pussy smells like?"

And he wiggled his hips at us, shaking his big dick left and right, and my dick jumped in Colin's hand.