Chapter 27: Bulma Is So Lame (Patreon)

Snake Way.

Goku ran until sweat drenched his forehead, but the end was nowhere in sight.

Hungry and exhausted, he was starting to feel drowsy too.

Just then, a garbage truck rumbled past.

Without a second thought, Goku hopped onto it and immediately fell into a deep, snoring sleep.

Somewhere in his sleep, he rolled right off Snake Way.

When he woke up and tried to climb back up, a layer of golden clouds blocked his way.

Goku wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Why can't I get back up? Don't tell me I have to run the whole way and start over from the beginning?"

"But there's barely any time left..."

Goku wandered forward aimlessly. "I hope there's some kind of entrance that'll get me back onto Snake Way, or I'll never make it in time..."

He hadn't walked far when a palace came into view.

The mouthwatering smell of cooking drifted toward him.

Goku's face lit up. "Ooh, there's a house up ahead — there's gotta be something good to eat..."

With that, he charged straight into the palace.

It was an illusion conjured by Princess Snake to lure in a husband. Once Goku stepped inside, she prepared him a huge feast.

Goku ate to his heart's content.

She wanted to marry him, to become husband and wife.

But to her surprise, Goku flatly refused to stay.

Princess Snake reverted to her true form — a giant serpent — and attacked him.

Goku drove her back in just a few moves, a Kamehameha gathering in his hands.

But before he could fire it, he let it fade.

"She fed me so much good food — I can't marry her, but I shouldn't go too hard on her either..."

Goku thought it over, then called out to the great serpent, "Hey, I really can't stay — I have to go train under King Kai. Sorry about that!

But if you're looking for someone to marry, I'll introduce you to someone later.

His name's Oryon. He's really good to girls — I bet he'd love a woman like you..."

The serpent shifted back into a woman, asking with a hint of anticipation, "Really? When's he coming?"

Son Goku scratched his head. "At least a year from now, probably. We won't have time until after we've beaten the Saiyans..."

Princess Snake nodded. "Fine, it's a promise!"

With that, Goku flew off toward Snake Way again.

"Wait, you can't get back up like that!" Princess Snake called out.

Goku stopped and turned back to look at her.

"So how am I supposed to get up there?"

Princess Snake said, "I'll send you up — but in exchange, you have to make sure he comes to find me!"

Goku thought about it seriously, then nodded.

"Fine. Sorry in advance, Oryon."

Princess Snake turned back into her serpent form and lifted Goku up onto Snake Way.

"Goodbye! Don't forget what you promised me!"

"Goodbye!"

Goku ran the rest of the way, racing once more toward King Kai's Planet.

Kami's Lookout.

Yamcha, Tien Shinhan, Chiaotzu, and Yajirobe had all thrown themselves into grueling training.

The first three trained with real dedication, pushing past their limits under Mr. Popo's guidance.

Yajirobe alone barely trained since arriving at the Lookout and had gained almost no strength — but he ate more than all three of them combined.

On a highland plateau to the north, Piccolo split himself into three bodies, endlessly simulating his fight against Raditz, pushing himself past every limit.

Kami watched them all train, a faint satisfaction settling over him.

When he tried to turn his gaze toward Oryon, a wisp of dark cloud swallowed his sight.

"I can't see him at all. That Oryon must be off doing some secret training, is he?"

Night was fading toward dawn, and Oryon was still fast asleep, snoring away.

Bulma had changed into fresh clothes and was busy tidying the room.

In the bathroom, the washing machine churned away, loaded with Bulma's clothes and a soaked set of bedsheets.

"Ding-dong!"

"I'm back!"

Bulma opened the door, and Lunch walked in carrying an armful of bags.

"Huh, what are you doing, Bulma? Since when do you clean house?"

Bulma brushed back her hair, glanced toward the bedroom, then whispered to Lunch, "Shh, keep it down. Oryon's asleep..."

Lunch blinked, then covered her mouth and giggled.

"Oh? Then let him sleep — he'll be back to full strength by tonight..."

With that, Lunch set down her bags and shrugged off her coat.

"Bulma, I picked up a few outfits for you. Take a look, see if you like them?"

Bulma walked over, her steps a little strange.

Lunch noticed at once.

"What's wrong, Bulma? Did he hurt you?"

Bulma shook her head quickly. "No, no, he was very gentle.

It's just... I got a little worn out..."

Lunch nodded. "Yeah, he's gentle with me too.

Though I think your stamina's a bit weaker than mine. I do housework all the time, so my body's in great shape.

You're a young lady from a rich family, sure, but you should still exercise more often, or your body won't be able to keep up."

Bulma blushed and nodded, then helped Lunch open up her bags.

"What all did you buy? Let me see..."

"Hm?"

"Why'd you buy such cheap stockings? These aren't any good — they rip if you so much as tug them..."

Lunch laughed. "You think everyone's as loaded as you?

They only last one wear anyway, so cheap ones are just fine..."

Bulma blinked, caught off guard for a moment, then said, "I'll get you a supplementary card later. Just spend whatever you want — I'll cover the bill every month."

Lunch's face lit up instantly, and she threw her arms around Bulma, planting a big kiss on her.

"Bulma, you're the best. I was just worrying my money was running low and I'd have to go rob someone again..."

Bulma gave a wry smile. "Please don't. No more robbing people, ever again.

The world's getting more peaceful these days — we should all try to be civilized..."

Lunch nodded. "Yeah, got it.

Oh right, Bulma, let's cook dinner together tonight. By the time Oryon wakes up, it'll be ready."

"Sure, but I can't cook — I'll just help out."

"Okay..."

Just then, Bulma opened up a bag of snacks — jelly cups, popping candy...

"Huh, why'd you buy so many kids' snacks?"

Lunch's face flushed, and she said quietly, "Snacks aren't just for eating, you know."

Bulma caught the mischievous look on Lunch's face and understood instantly.

"Wait, you can do that with them too? You two really have no limits..."

Lunch smiled faintly. "Well, what's the point of living if not to enjoy yourself?

So, Bulma, want to try it together tonight?"

Bulma pressed a hand to her aching back and shivered, shaking her head at once. "No, no thanks. It was my first time — I'll probably need a few days to recover..."

Lunch's face immediately twisted into a look of disdain. "Bulma, you are seriously pathetic..."

"And here I thought you'd help share the load a little — didn't expect you to chicken out in less than a day!"

Bulma's face twitched.

Seeing Bulma puff up with indignation, Lunch draped an arm over her shoulder.

"Okay, okay, don't be mad. I was just joking.

Come cook with me, and I'll pass along a little experience while we're at it..."

"Mm!"