#MakeThisBattle Feedback - July 23rd (Patreon)

Hello, and welcome to MakeThisBattle! - the ongoing written series where Ed and the finest Patrons in 2020 prove that Nice Peter from Epic Rap Battles of History doesn’t actually know anything about history without Google. 

Note: The theme in this round was 'Movie & TV Characters' and you offered up a load of suggestions for it. So for this particular round all seven selected for feedback fit the theme.

Columbo vs Hercule Poirot [submitted by Foxdoc & mblpns]

Oh Jeez, do we have to immediately start exposing the gaps in my knowledge? I’m not being fair with myself, I know who Columbo is. I started ERB with him 10 or so years ago.  Wait a minute, that’s Kojak. Columbo is the muttery guy in the trench coat, right? I’m excited to learn about this Hercule character, what do you got for me, Google? Lol. That’s gotta be the first Belgian I’ve seen suggested. Who is this guy? I’ll admit, I’m sold on his moustache alone. Okay he’s famous and in many of the Agatha Christie stories. I’m sold. I don’t usually like choosing match-ups just because of the clickbait value, but Columbo vs Hercule Poirot is just too hot to pass up. We’ll probably get featured on TMZ. I give it a D-

House vs Hippocrates [submitted by Neo!]

Should we settle this once and for all here? I think so. This is probably the longest running perfect suggestion that we never did, and now I think we’ll never do. It’s too late and Dr Strange would be more awesome to explore, if played by Zach Sherwin. That’s a long shot, but we gotta dream. But it is a perfect suggestion, I wish we had done it years ago. Fun trivia: Dante was a recurring extra on House, you can actually spot him in at least one episode. A+

Shirley Temple vs Betty White [submitted by Dragonsblood23]

Hmm… this is interesting. Lloyd always wanted to do Bette White vs Bette Paige. I think there’s a demo, have we released that? We should, probably with lyrics too, because if I remember correctly you can’t understand a word. Anyhow, the task at hand, Shirley Temple makes this awesome. I love it. Tons of history and fun television references. I don’t think it would be everyone’s battle, but it would be someone’s favorite. A-

Shrek vs The Grinch [submitted by Samwise]

I love it. Ha. I really like it. It’s simple and fun and tons of jokes. Beloved characters that can be somewhat easily parodied.  I shudder at the thought of Grinch makeup, but I bet we’d find a way to do it less offensively than that movie did.  Bigger shudder. Great creative idea that feels obvious, but I’ve never seen before.  A

Forrest Gump vs Terry Fox [submitted by Mortal]

Terry Fox…. okay that dude is awesome. If you haven't heard of him before look him up. He's a national hero in Canada. But his remarkable story also exposes how terrible this match-up idea is. Teaming him up against Forrest Gump would probably be a disservice to his memory. Weak sauce. F+  

Dwight Schrute vs Ron Swanson [submitted by 2Hats &Tony Rigatoni]

Lol.  Some people would absolutely love this and it could be so funny.  I’m not knowledgeable about either series to write it, but I had never seen Breaking Bad either, and this sounds like a much more lighthearted deep dive. I know enough about both to imagine how great this battle could be. They have tons of ammo, neither will back down, both are highly intelligent and creative and stubborn.  It could be hilarious and popular. No history, but you know… sometimes…. you know. B+

Archimedes vs MacGyver [submitted by Atlas]

Ha. This has been my favorite edition of Make This Battle in a while. There’s something very creative and effective about all of these, even the Fox vs Gump one I have to admit is creative and fun with some nice historical punch. In terms of this suggestion something about pulling off Archimedes and making it awesome is just satisfying to me. This is just a great suggestion for someone like him. It adds levity, fun, and silliness. I don’t know if MacGyver is actually well known enough anymore, but I feel like he’s become almost “Houdini” like you can use his name to explain your role in a situation without having ever seen the show. Another A+ 

You have made me smile this evening. You have made me feel lighthearted and inspired.  For that, I thank you, and wish you well until next time! -np 

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"Lloyd's Hot Takes" - EpicLloyd offers up some thoughts!

House vs Hippocrates. We've been seeing this suggestion for years now and while at one point I think it might have been strong; I do fear that House is sadly past it's prime. It was a really popular show here in the United States but I don't know how global it was and there are so many other hospital shows it'd be weird just to choose this guy. I love Hippocrates though and I'd love to see him in the medical cavalcade which I think is a stronger choice for this guy. Shrek vs The Grinch. This stinking banana peel of an idea is in the top five all-time worst ideas of not only the ERB universe but of all universes everywhere. I get dumb and dumber just reading it. What could have possibly inspired such a flaming turd of a notion? These two things are annoying, inconsequential, unimportant and almost completely devoid of any redeeming qualities... and that's just scratching the surface of this abominable suggestion. They are historically moot. Comeidically tired. And morally atrocious, nay, appalling! If ever ERB made this happen, we would likely be arrested and throw in a Russian prison. We would more than likely be flogged, and you know what? The floggers wouldn't be wrong! Good day to you sir! -eL

"Monk's Hot Takes" - our manager chimes in with some wise words!

I have always loved Columbo. It's TV gold. I think the problem with any tv character is we'd need to absolutely nail their persona to do it right and some are tricky to pull off. The guys did White and Grimes superbly. Could we do Columbo justice? Maybe. Poirot is probably easier to do. I like the match-up. I know we did Batman vs Sherlock but the idea of doing another detective character or royale always seems fun to me. House is similar in terms of that pressure to get the character right both in looks and manner. If we did a medical royale why couldn't House show up in that? It'd certainly make it less stuffy. Hugh Lawrie and the way he portrayed that character was so good, I wouldn't personally care about the fact the show may not be a hot topic these days. I'm officially in the 'won't give up on House for ERB' camp. Dwight Schrute vs Ron Swanson is quality. I love both characters. Seeing them battle sounds like a blast. I expect it'd be a joy to write too. Whats not to like?

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As ever - we now need to start a new round of makethisbattle!

The new theme is... "Go East". We are looking for match-up ideas featuring people or characters from East Asia - think China, Japan, Korea etc. You can pair them against anyone - fictional or historical. The other character doesn't need to be from East Asia. 

And... you can always ignore the theme completely if you prefer. :) But when selecting the match-ups for feedback we will pick 2 or more that match the theme. Seven match-ups in total will be selected.

Same rules apply. Three suggestions per person. You can post them in the comments below, email them to erbpatreon@gmail.com or post them on the Discord server in the dedicated '#make-this-battle' channel.

Deadline for submissions is... 5pm PT on Monday 3rd August