Chapter 268: Noelle Said She Would Not Wrestle Arms (Patreon)

When descending from a high and treacherous mountain, ensuring the safety of the guiding rope requires placing absolute trust in someone reliable. Otherwise, the final outcome will closely mirror the unfortunate plight of Paimon. Klee failed to maintain a firm grip on the taut line, causing Paimon to slip and plummet downward with a sudden snap. Fortunately, the deep drifts of powdery snow below cushioned the impact, preventing any fatal injuries, though the abrupt descent left Paimon thoroughly shaken.

Determined to press onward, Klee secured the stretcher holding Arataki Itto to a sturdy rope and began lowering him down the steep cliff face. Inevitably, the descent proved far from smooth, and the hapless gang leader collided against the jagged rock wall countless times.

Ouch! That hurts beyond belief!

Slow down just a little bit, will you?

Can someone please alter my direction before I smash straight into the stone?

My head, oh goodness, everything is spinning!

Please have mercy, you are going to get me killed out here!

Despite the thoroughly bumpy and bruising process, Brother Itto eventually reached the lower ledge in one piece, albeit looking like he had just survived a localized disaster.

The perspective shifted once more, bringing Paimon and Klee to another treacherous section of the mountain terrain marked by jagged drops and uneven ground. A wide chasm blocked their path forward, requiring Klee to cross first so that Paimon could heave the stretcher across the gap for her to catch on the other side.

Klee leaped across the fissure with remarkable agility, landing safely on the opposite side before shouting back to Paimon. My side is completely clear, so go ahead and toss the bucket over here!

Arataki Itto, still bound securely to the stretcher, felt his heart leap into his throat, terrified that he might be dropped into the abyss. Hey now, are you two out of your minds?

Paimon offered a reassuring thumbs-up. Do not worry about a thing, we are absolute professionals. We guarantee there will be absolutely no mishaps.

Without further hesitation, Paimon heaved the stretcher across the gap. Fortunately, Klee caught the flying cargo with steady hands, sparing the gang leader from the ultimate embarrassment of losing his composure entirely.

The ordeal was far from over, as the group soon encountered another towering cliff that needed to be scaled. Once again, Arataki Itto was hoisted into the air and suspended from the rope like a piece of heavy luggage.

The impact against the hard stone wall continued mercilessly.

That hurts like absolute hell!

Could you please pull a little slower?

Is there seriously no way to adjust my angle?

The endless bumping left the oni with a fresh set of bruises and a profound sense of exhaustion. Upon finally reaching the top of the cliff, the rescuers paused briefly to catch their breath. Klee unstrapped her canteen, took a refreshing sip, and then good-naturedly handed the bottle to the captive gang leader. Here, have some of this. You will probably really like the delicious soybean milk powder.

Arataki Itto felt his eye twitch uncontrollably. Are you out of your mind? Do you not realize I am an oni?

Consuming unfamiliar dairy or soy mixtures was a recipe for disaster, likely leading to mild stomach cramps at best or catastrophic digestive distress at worst. After enduring hours of relentless torment, Arataki Itto officially decided he was done suffering with this chaotic pair. Just leave me here to fend for my own survival. I refuse to take another step with you two.

Paimon shook her head firmly. That will not do at all. We promised to bring everyone back down the mountain together.

With that, the suffering resumed. Later in the journey, the inventive duo even utilized the stretcher as a makeshift bridge and stepping platform, casually trampling right over the bound gang leader as they descended the snowy slopes.

After an eternity of exhausting mishaps, the trio finally arrived at the foot of the mountain. Arataki Itto wept genuine tears of relief, feeling as though he had crawled straight out of the underworld.

Klee hoisted the stretcher toward a high rock wall nearby, but as she attempted to scale the final slope, she noticed only the sliding tracks of the stretcher cutting through the pristine snow. Oh no! It slipped away!

Poor Arataki Itto could only watch in despair as the stretcher broke loose, tumbling wildly between the jagged rocks and plunging all the way back down the mountain slope.

Hey!

Ah!

Oh no!

Why does this always happen to me?

As the final camera angle faded, the unfortunate gang leader vanished completely amid the rocky debris. It was a truly miserable display of cosmic misfortune.

Paimon chimed in through the chat interface. My goodness, the cattle herder really is remarkably miserable. It is a miracle he survived that entire ordeal.

Arataki Itto replied furiously, @Paimon, I endured all of that suffering, and you have the audacity to ask whose fault it is?

Paimon defended herself, Well, to be entirely fair, the root cause was Klee's little flying machine crashing down the mountain.

Klee added a sheepish emoji, I am so sorry, Big Brother Itto.

Rosaria observed from the sidelines, It is quite apparent that today's program was specifically designed to ensure Arataki Itto suffered for every single reward he chased.

Yae Miko chuckled softly. That is simply the price one pays for coveting official Miss Hina merchandise. By the way, the Yae Publishing House will soon release a brand-new line of exclusive collectibles. Quantities are strictly limited, so remember that it operates on a first-come, first-served basis!

Arataki Itto typed in a frenzy, I want to make a reservation right now! Save me the absolute best items, I want every single type available!

Xander chuckled to himself, watching the exchange. I am afraid Brother Itto is about to bankrupt himself entirely.

The celestial broadcast transitioned smoothly, introducing two brief bonus segments. While Arataki Itto remained the central figure of the narrative, these short clips served as a comedic prelude to an upcoming feature involving Noelle.

The first short video flashed across the screen with a succinct title: Arataki Itto: What on Earth is Going On with This Woman?

Judging purely by the provocative title, the clip promised to explore a rather unusual interaction between the boisterous gang leader and a female acquaintance.

Kaeya sent a laughing message into the chat. Well now, this is truly incredible. Did Brother Itto finally stumble into a romantic subplot?

Yoimiya replied with a doubtful emoji, That is quite hard to imagine. Given Itto's eccentric personality, no sensible young lady is likely to view him as anything more than an oversized child.

Kuki Shinobu sighed in agreement, It is entirely possible the woman in question is simply lacking vision, or perhaps shares a similar level of eccentricity.

Yanfei offered a thoughtful analysis, On the outside, he attempts to project a mature and imposing presence, but at his core, he is simply a boy who never truly grew up. I suspect spending more than five minutes in his company would instantly make anyone feel like his exasperated mother.

Arataki Itto protested with a string of indignant symbols, questioning why everyone seemed determined to tear down his dignified reputation. Although he possessed virtually no understanding of romantic subtleties or complex interpersonal dynamics, watching an entire continent of spectators openly mock his lack of refinement still left him thoroughly annoyed.

On the grand screen, the scene opened within the quiet, book-lined interior of the Knights of Favonius Headquarters library. Venti was seated at a corner table, unusually abstaining from alcohol in favor of a simple cup of warm tea. Aether had also dropped by to enjoy the peaceful atmosphere and browse through the extensive collection of adventure novels.

In the center of the open reading area, Aether had dragged over a sturdy wooden table to serve as a makeshift arena. Arataki Itto and Noelle were seated directly across from one another, preparing to engage in a friendly test of pure physical strength through arm wrestling.

Noelle looked slightly nervous, fidgeting with her cuffs as she spoke. I must admit, I have never actually participated in an arm-wrestling match before this.

Arataki Itto puffed out his chest confidently, flashing a wide grin. Do not hold back on my account, Noelle! Give me everything you have got!

Aether stepped forward to officiate, clearly explaining the mechanics of the sport. Interlock your hands tightly, ensure your thumbs are properly positioned, and keep your elbows firmly planted on the surface. When I give the signal, the match begins. Are both of you ready? On your mark, get set, go!

No sooner had the word left Aether's lips than a terrifying display of localized force erupted across the room.

Before Arataki Itto could even begin to exert his oni strength, his hand was slammed violently downward into the wooden surface by Noelle's seemingly effortless push. The heavy oak table shattered instantly into a million fine splinters, the stone floor beneath them cracked open in an intricate spiderweb pattern, and a powerful shockwave of raw kinetic energy swept across every corner of the library, rustling the bookshelves and scattering loose papers into the air.

Everyone present froze in absolute astonishment, staring at the sudden devastation in stunned silence.

As for Arataki Itto, who was still seated right across from the maid of Favonius, he looked as though he had just locked eyes with an ancient and terrifying deity. His heart pounded wildly against his ribs as a cold sweat broke out across his forehead.

What on earth just happened here? he thought in sheer disbelief. Was I seriously just trading blows with a cosmic monster disguised as a polite young maid?

Noelle instantly lowered her hand, her posture returning to its customary gentle and refined composure as she offered a polite, apologetic bow. Oh dear, I do hope I did not use too much force. It is truly rude to break public furniture like this.

The stark contrast between the catastrophic destruction and Noelle's serene demeanor left Arataki Itto looking remarkably small and helpless, resembling nothing more than a thoroughly defeated weakling caught in the wake of a force of nature.