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Predictive Model (Patreon)

Published:
2023-02-06 02:09:26
Imported:
2026-06

Content

SIMULATIONS

Files

Comments

Chris Weigert

Adding “object permanence is just brain RAM” to my list of quips…

LH

awwww she's adorable!!

Zak Reichle

Aww grumpy goblin is cute

Kattandra

Superheated gas, thats some dangerous farts to have vent at any time!

Miyaa

I did a lot of simulations when I got worried about things as a kid. Witnessed a lot of death. Oh god, I’m her.

Joel Bateman

I love this tiny, angry, science goblin.

AlexKorobeiniki

I hereby petition for Sam to meet Just Small as soon as humanly possible. The chaos will be BEAUTIFUL.

Matt C.

We have a new adorable character!

Rob McBobson

I'm not used to the term "The Librarian" being used about a non-orangutan.

Stephen B.

Whatever you do, don't use the M-word!

Photon

Especially given where somebody placed that bench seat!

Miyaa

No the chaos would be too great. Plus with Emmett no Tim Horton’s shop is safe.

Michael Boettger

I'm noting the sliding bolts in panel 4....the coffee is in a secure location? Good to know.

AlexKorobeiniki

The world has survived the existence of Pintsize, Emily, and that invisible Emu already. No chaos is too great.

Rob McBobson

Or one of the tons of anime and manga characters that are small, angry girls.

Yelling Bird

I used to run simulations. Doesn't pay as much as running guns or drugs.

Matt Killmon

I was gonna say “Pekora”.

Stephen B.

Did they just walk into a plant room with a safe door?

Michael Boettger

And yeah, she's pretty adorable. Noting the muddy hem on her lab coat.

Eric Sieck

“They’re simulations, Marie!”

awgiedawgie

Just Small reminds me of an angry version of Emmett

Mad Marie

Just Small is a Timbit.

Sean Kinlin

Clearly the residents of Cubetown have fired off their head cannons with regard to Claire.

Rob McBobson

I assume that she's gonna get named at some point, but I do hope that Just Small will reach the same level of canonicity as Yay Newfriend.

KingAtticus

I am like 85% certain she is a child but I hope it’s revealed that she is actually the same age as Claire and she really is just small

Sean Kinlin

The superheated gas is a very efficient bench warmer.

Mad Marie

Will they run a simulation about the stimulation of coffee?

Bill Silvia

That is too Dad Joke-y even for pun-loving Claire.

Sean Kinlin

Clearly this person plays for the Toledo Mud Hems.

Mad Marie

Just to be safe, I had my object permanence flashed onto my BIOS.

Sero

I like Just-Small's hairstyle! ❤

Bill Silvia

It's pretty topical, considering apparently there's a major thing on one of the younger social medias about a guy being harassed for having a small girlfriend.

JCfromNC

The Palm-Top Tiger from <i>Torodora!</i>, Taiga Aisaka.

ValdVin

I particularly like panel two: Small's still got that "crouching behind the wall" look. At the same time, Marten can hear her capitalizing the "L" in Librarian, right?

Kyle in Orbit

Now now Rincewind, he's a valued member of our organisation, even though he has chosen a rather... unique... approach to his role. Just beware of the banana peels.

Bill Silvia

Perhaps a breakroom, and not a coffee shop. Though still high potential for doom.

Captain Button

Is that like superheated water, it is so hot it should have become plasma but hasn't for some reason?

Hexagonal Crank

Holy cow. I'm 6'1" and my fiancee is 4'9". These panels make me feel seen (0.0)

Zak Reichle

Don't forget Emily is working on defeating her nemesis, entropy, so really she's a chaos dump.

Captain Button

JC: So they are going to ask Marten to help them get with the person they like but are too shy to ask out (even though that person asked them out previously and was rejected)?

ValdVin

...uh, at 6'1" you always are seen. But (asking as a guy whose wife was 10" shorter than I am) what about your fiance?

Captain Button

Coffee shops are the safe rooms of Cubetown.

Hexagonal Crank

As I am salt and pepper and she dyes her hair, she is eternally annoyed by people asking her about her "dad" XD

Thisguy

I’m sure many A.I’s find it relaxing.

Dean Reilly

I suppose it's good that there's a sign.

Amanda L

"object permanence is just brain RAM" omg I have been saying this for YEARS

Rob McBobson

I didn't. What Asimov story?

HillaryGayle

I really love that there's a bench right where it says superheated gas may vent at any time.

Dan Curtis

ADHD=Low Ram source: my brain

ValdVin

Oof. As I am youngish looking and had taken to dating older women, I have instances of been taken for a GF's son (her +12 yrs) and my wife's son (her +9 yrs). That, also, is not something women like, perhaps even more?

Carl Fink

It doesn't have a specific meaning in science or engineering that I have ever heard. I think Jeph did that on purpose. Superheated *steam* is above 100C, tha tis, above the boiling point. Superheated liquids are likewise above the normal boiling point, usually because they're under so much pressure they can't make the phase transition to gas. "Superheated gas" (to my limited knowledge) is just a slangy way to say "really hot gas".

Joseph Bonnar

Picture Moray for a moment, please. NOW picture an AI built along the same lines, same principal, but using COFFEE instead of salt water. You are welcome.

Carl Fink

The signs in Panel 5 indicate they have walked into the "Villain is ironically electrocuted when just about to complete his evil plan" neighborhod.

Leaflemming

Jeph, are you worried you don’t have enough characters in play?

Leak

See what happens when you use sanity as your dump stat?

Rob McBobson

Huh. In that case, I have definitely read it, but I just forgot about it since it's been years.

Granite

Given the old warning... she definitely knows where the coffee is.

dcy665 .

That first panel - its marvelous. The strut, clinched fists on the way to coffee

Bagge

Where... were are they going? Did they just enter a lab or is this coffee shop lab themed?

James D

A giant squid thing turns out to be running the place?

Minzoku Bokumetsu

You're me and my spouse, but I'm 5' exactly Luckily one the benefits of a mixed-race marriage is none of that "mistaken for parent-child" stuff =p

Finvaara

That coat has a PATINA

Andrew Mitchell

So what you're saying is that it's a good sign that there's a sign?

Todd Ellner

She will organize the b-ooks

Todd Ellner

Marten has gotten a lot shaggier

Captain Button

The sign wasn't put up until after The Tragic Incident.

OldGoat

I was noticing that. I wonder who's experience necessitated the sign?

OldGoat

And the sleeves turned back into cuffs. This is a true short person who can't find a lab coat that fits. No wonder she has a chip on her shoulder.

OldGoat

If she's cute and has red hair I'll get excited. Especially if she has green eyes, too.

Pejo

I love Marten's tiny new goblin friend

TV4Fun

I think Marten just confirmed he has a child somewhere.

Pejo

*leans toward microphone* would

Pejo

Gotta build up a Cubetown cast to balance the Mass cast.

Michael Boettger

You'd think that getting properly fitting clothing for the staff would be a simple task. Another example of Cubetown's organizational dysfunction.

William Cole

There a lot of random hazards in Cubetown. Wonder what their casualty rate is.

OldGoat

When I was young and unnaturally skinny buying clothes was bloody hell. Poor clothing fit is not a problem limited to Cubetown. (It's much easier now that I'm old and fat.)

legobil

But the shoes! They are clean!

PixelThis

I like that there's actually a bench in front of a vent with a warning sign saying "Superheated Gas May Vent At Any Time"

PixelThis

The first dead person?

SpookyPenguin

You just know they'll be nicknamed 'The Brain'

SpookyPenguin

I suspect it's just a small but really efficient stack, perhaps TOO efficient. At least that seems to be my issue.

SpookyPenguin

wow and I thought *I* lived in my head too much.

Anders Rapp

I love the idea of replacing the word "thoughts" with "simulations".

Absentia

My desire to adopt her grows with each page.

Leak

Cthulhu? Gesundheit!

Mad Marie

How did I know you were going to say that?

Mad Marie

^The most tragic part is that the incident occurred the moment after the worker finished putting up the sign, and was standing back to make sure it looked straight.

Mad Marie

I initially read “PIÑATA”. That works, too.

Mad Marie

PSA: Be advised: we don’t actually know this new person’s pronouns, yet.

Brooks Moses

I mean, the idea of "superheated steam" could be applied to vapors other than water vapor. Such as, say, a mixture of oxygen, nitrogen, carbon dioxide, and argon, all of which are heated to above their condensation/boiling point. Which is to say, air at a typical weatherly temperature.

Mad Marie

Because of that half-hidden sign, I really want to play with those red buttons behind Marten.

Pete Hanson

Martin could stand to put on a few pounds.

Paxxie

Careful flaunting your immortality there Opus :D

Mark

She isn't pleased by these people trying to cram her into a child shaped box even though she is most definitely not one.

Mark

A lot of really short women seem to have a thing for ridiculously (by comparison) taller guys.

Mark

I swear that there are enough for at least 5 spinoffs to run simultaneously.

Chauncey

I come in at 6’7”. Not exactly easy to hide. But, somehow I manage to sneak up on people all the time. I guess I don’t have a very noticeable presence?

Chauncey

I also have a tendency to go for older people. I’ve been mistaken for my partner’s child a few times (even despite the difference in race/notable features)

Chauncey

True. They’re not sporting the “winged eyeliner” usually indicative of female/femme characters in this comic.

Stephen Wells

...and that ship is FULLY crewed.

Stephen Wells

From the backgrounds it looks like she's just leading Marten into her lair of doom, using only the promise of coffee as bait :)

09Klr650

"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."

Stephen Wells

It is by will alone I set my mind in motion It is by the juice of Coff-Fee that thoughts acquire speed The teeth acquire stain The stain becomes a warning It is by will alone I set my mind in motion.

Todd Ellner

Judging from the chief of security who regularly prevents world-ending catastrophes with snacks and a water pistol? Very, very low.

Todd Ellner

Don't worry. The gears cutting lathe will turn it into a cog in no time

Todd Ellner

She is Emmett's long lost older twin sibling. Time travel and medical stasis are cruel mistresses

Todd Ellner

In Cubetown the illiterate and those who ignore warning signs don't live long.

Greg Morrow

Kilroy has Emmett's facial features.

David F

With the bench in front of it!

Luke McKinney

I love how Jeph occasionally decides "Welp, I'll just create 30% of the fans new favorite character now" It's always great when a comic and creator hit their true vibe. Reminds me of when oh my goddess became exclusively about engine blocks and pretty dresses, which I also loved

Matt Pedone

Which makes me wonder - Emmett is from Canada, but they never specified WHERE in Canada, right? Maybe they were in Cubetown, but were actually TOO disruptive (or maybe there's a more mundane reason for them leaving - parents divorced, dad was too wrapped up in Cubetown work/had an affair with one of the Moray or Reeves's AI arm).

legobil

Plot twist: Just Small is her actual name. Marten guessed correctly and she didn’t have to correct him.

Stephen Wells

It's either an incredibly subtle deep-cut Pride and Prejudice reference, or it's just a dirty hem on a too-long lab coat. Excellent either way.

Temperjoke

You know, I had a thought... The Director is Cubetown's soul, while Cubetown is it's "flesh" brain. We just need to get it some medication to help calm it's chaos a little.

Ruth Merriam

Well, now I have a new phrase for my therapist. I'm not stuck in a brain weasel loop; I'm running simulations.

Adam

Yes.

Adam

Simulations!

Daryl Sawyer

Oh shit, it's Maho. Just with thinner, straighter hair.

Ace of Hearts

love how there is a bench where superheated gas may vent at any time

Greg Morrow

It was a place that only had 3 AIs, though, and enough wilderness that Emmett was at risk of dying of winter.

Adam

I love how dirty the hem of her lab coat is, because she's so small. XD

Todd Ellner

And flashing your bio parts is exactly why we're having this talk. Three horses and a passing infantry squad needed therapy

Todd Ellner

She would die a horrific death of .... consumption

Technoir

Wow. she's pretty unlikeable.

Scott Gosnell

I would like for people to find out that Marten is also a librarian.

ValdVin

I am writing down every anime named in this bit of the thread to put on my list.

Stephen Wells

He's A librarian but not The librarian.

Halloween Jack

Is Marten's hair getting longer every time we see it?

Mad Marie

That’s usually how it works, until one has a trim.

innpchan

Extra points for Goddess dresses. Especially Urd's.

innpchan

I think he's going to kill some off with superheated gas...

Joseph Bonnar

Impressive that Josh includes those details. :)

Joseph Bonnar

I came here just to say that, Mr. Ridley. Of course The Librarian is happy to work for... Peanuts. ook.

Joseph Bonnar

I'm gonna ship Just Small with Winslow. The cute would be in the megaton range.

Joseph Bonnar

@ValdVin I am learning so MUCH from reading these comments!

awgiedawgie

Marten has Sam. Dealing with her is not entirely unlike having a child of his own.

awgiedawgie

Where do you think the gas comes from?

awgiedawgie

There can never be enough characters in play.

awgiedawgie

Who said they were going to a coffee shop? She said she could take him to coffee, not to a coffee shop.

awgiedawgie

There's probably a lot of those around these parts.

awgiedawgie

Just watch out for the mutant Ur Gerbils.

awgiedawgie

My ex-wife was 4 foot 8 inches. Just Small looks taller than that.

awgiedawgie

I feel that. When I was a kid, I would play situations out to every possible eventuality in my head in a matter of seconds. Unfortunately, I stopped doing that when I got older. It would be a valuable skill now that I'm an adult.

Ursus Ridens

"object permanence is just brain RAM" -- Well, that settles that. Philosophers take note.

Sean Kinlin

And now it's even longer.

Am Queue

I called it "running scenarios" from a very young age. Now I wonder where I got that word.

Michael Keogh

Does Bubbles have the same warning about venting on her booty?

Matt Pedone

Fair enough. Though, I could see Cubetown being so chaotic that dying of winter is a legit fear (at any time of year).

Chase the Dragon

"So, have you looked into some kind of growth hormone for height here? I mean that you must suffer from "Chibi-Sue" syndrome for REAL."

fluffy

He worked in a library but he was never officially a librarian, right? Like, he never had a degree in library sciences, he just sorta fell into the role by chance