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Real Motives (Patreon)

Published:
2023-02-08 02:09:44
Imported:
2026-06

Content

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Files

Comments

Daniel S

This oughta be good.

Miyaa

And there’s conflict from Doctor Crab!

StealthNP

Martens eyes turn brown in panel 3.

ValdVin

Marten, on the way out, ask the dinobot skull if it knows any Rodgers and Hart.

Brad Power

Jeph is ragging on Tim's coffee. He's fully assimilated as a Canadian now.

John Armstrong

Tom Horbon's one dollar can-o-beans "Legally coffee!" AWESOME

Chauncey

It’s pretty rare to see angry Marten. Arguably the most chill and morally neutral character in the QC-verse.

onecontinuoussigh

Man if I were Marten and Claire I'd be saying "fuck cubetown" for sure by now.

Zak Reichle

This is what, only the second time we've actually seen Marten get angry I believe

Jay

He's thinking about coffee.

Joseph Bonnar

He's really angry. This is what happens when you deprive a good human of their COFFEE!

Tannerbot

I love this little gremlin.

Sean Kinlin

Suddenly Tom Horbonbadil comes out of the darkness, singing...

Elberik

Assuming the gnome isn't just crazy: maybe they think the job will drive Claire crazy & they're trying to save her. Or they think Claire's organization will "break" Cubetown.

Michael Boettger

Now, why would the mini-scientist be so opposed? Is chaos to their benefit?

Bill Silvia

At least once each toward Pintsize, Dora, and his mother.

R S

The question is w h y ?

Zak Reichle

I was counting him getting angry with Dora as the other one, but I don't believe he was actually angry with his mother.... More just irritated, same with Pintsize.

Bill Silvia

Different types and expressions of anger, for sure.

ValdVin

"The best coffee on all Cubetown" is basically equivalent to "the best barbecue in Connecticut, circa 1985". (Lifetime Nutmegger who gets to say that.)

Zak Reichle

I do believe that is the better explanation than mine.

Joseph Bonnar

Ok, I admit my ignorance. Who is Tom Horbonbadil?

Joseph Bonnar

Or do they want to be the Librarian? Oook.

Likeablejerk

What I'm hearing is that Cubetown needs its own Coffee of Doom.

Joseph Bonnar

Yes, but let us hope that Jeph has more in play for Cubetown. I'm starting to enjoy it. As long as I am nowhere near it, of course. :) Edited because I had the name wrong because NO CAFFEINE!

Zak Reichle

Patreon, your new comments system and it's layout are an absolute piece of shit!

Joseph Bonnar

No coffee. That will break the most chill human.

GodsInTheCogs

I think she wants to be the librarian

Zak Reichle

Tom Bombadil was the only person who was unaffected by the one ring.

Chauncey

Fair. On particularly busy days, I’ll survive on nothing but some form of caffeine (usually coffee, because the coffee maker is near my boss’s office), and nicotine. Deprive me of one of those, and I get really annoyed. But, I’m typically relaxed about most situations.

Zak Reichle

And now Brown Eyed Girl is stuck in my head 🎶

Lightsabr2

After years of teasers and foreshadowing, we find the REAL Coffee of Doom!

Kate Cole

I don't see any changes, but its always been a piece of shit

Abhayakara

The awesome is strong in this one.

MikeT

Ah, the Chaos Daemon finally reveals their motivation

Carol Metzger

Many humans require easy access to good coffee. AIs, not so much. If the AIs want to share the habitat with more and more humans, the availability of coffee must improve.

Marshall

I appreciate his ability to get mad on behalf of the people he cares about.

at0m

Ya on mobile it's the same, except now you can reply to replies looks like

Beechwood Chip

Gah! which means it needs Dora. I was wondering how QC's ensemble cast and "it's a small town, everyone knows everyone" style would handle Claire and Martin moving away. I'm beginning to worry that *everyone* might move to Cubetown.

Alacrity Fitzhugh

Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo! Ring a dong! hop along! Fal lal the willow! Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!

Bill Marcum

The parody "Bored Of The Rings" had a character named Tim Benzedrine.

Alacrity Fitzhugh

I prefer "Coffee of Doom-de-doom-doom-doom", run by Gir, of course.

Beechwood Chip

I would hate to live/work in Cubetown. Their zany antics might be amusing for a month or two, but after a while the sheer inability of anyone to ever be helpful or cooperative would make me crazy.

Dean Reilly

Patron's comment system has always been the worst.

Dean Reilly

Marten will probably be back in time for the robot dino skull's Andrew Lloyd Webber medley!

Jayme Allen

Timmy’s Double Dribble.

Bill Marcum

Either I did it wrong, or replies might not always go where you expect.

Morgan

When did he get angry at Pintsize again?

Fart Captor

GREMLIN OF MYSTERIES 😲

Ben French

I'm intrigued...yet concerned why the gremlin scientist doesn't want Claire taking the job

Fart Captor

Maybe she wants all the Moray's to herself 🤔

Pope Discordius

I love that book. Still have my paperback after all these years

Yelling Bird

Goblins like chaos and dislike order. This is the opposite of Claire.

Nicolas Demers

MEEEEEEMORY ALL ALONE IN THE MOOOOONLIGHT

Nicolas Demers

Worse: when you promise coffee, and then don't deliver!

Yelling Bird

I've never had Tim Horton's coffee. Timbits are fucking awesome though.

Joseph Bonnar

Jeph. Don't blame me, NO COFFEE!

Emma Humphries

Bubbles and Faye are going to have to come up there to defeat the Effective Altruists who are ruining everything at Cubetown.

Joseph Bonnar

Bored of the Rings? Still have mne as well. :)

Nutjob

Imagine Dunkins coffee. Now pour that down the imaginary drain because Tims coffee is much better. You still got to spike it with lots of cream though because it's still fast food coffee.

Clifton Royston

Hop-a-hill, pop-a-pill for Tim Benzedrino! I see many of us had the same warping formative influences - Bored of the Rings and Discordianism, two great tastes that go great together.

Sean Kinlin

A box of Tombutts with a coffee bidet.

MultiKoopa

Why does Marten have brown eyes in panel 3 lol

Halloween Jack

DONNNNNNNNNNT CRY FOR ME ARGENTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINA

Mad Marie

In “The Trouble with Tribble Durbles”, the Tombits get sick from eating Horbon’s coffee beans.

Jasper

"LEGALLY COFFEE"

Mad Marie

(The street name for those beans is: “Poisoned Quadrotriticale“.)

jonesnori

My friends and I sing fhe Boggie song every Thanksgiving. Or, as we call it, the Boggie Bloat. (We met at our university's Tolkien Fellowship.)

Christine Hottinger

here I was envisioning Marten opening a Coffee of Doom franchise to bring the good denizens of Cubetown coffee & tea

Spike

A few years ago I remember thinking, "There's too much relationship drama. I miss the high concept sci-fi nonsense. And the Vespa Avenger." I am so enjoying this.

Captain Button

When Pintsize met Claire he "LOOM"'d at him, to not do any of his usual pervy stuff with her.

Captain Button

They will hold Marten hostage to ensure that Claire refuses the job in their favor. This will of course lead to a Claire rescue and desperate fight over a boiling coffee pit.

Zak Reichle

Claire and Pintsize actually have a pretty great dynamic. She has helped talk Pintsize through a number of things that helped him grow as a person.

William Cole

One thing I'll say for him, Jesus is cool!

Dan

This is into the entire cast moving to cube town isn’t it. Dora will open a coffee shop, Tai will work for Claire. Faye and Bubbles can work as assembly techs, etc.

Todd Ellner

Do not speak her name lest Ye summon her

Orion Rhine

Marty needs to hear her out. This is the chance to get the opinion of the opposition so he can relay it to Claire and help her make her decision. The more info she gets, the more informed her decision can be.

Jay

I think the line crossed here is Marten doesn't like the idea of trying to influence Claire's choice here, especially on behalf of someone else trying create the perception of it being his own concerns about Claire taking the position instead of their own still unknown reasons.

Bagge

Bah, I had hoped for a date

David Paul

Had "Just Small" been upfront with this request, instead of leading Marten through Cubetown's service tunnels (and to a rather disappointing "legally coffee" coffee), he might have heard them out. They had better have a very convincing presentation ready (using LibreOffice Impress to show they are serious).

Stephen Wells

Somebody spilled a big packet of plot thickener.

Foal Papers

YOU ALONE CAN MAAAAKE MY SONG TAKE FLIIIIIIGHT / HELP ME MAKE THE MUSIC OF THE NIIIIIIIIIIIGHT

jimbo

maybe a franchise, aided by Hanners or perhaps Faye?!

Steve DeGroof

(sigh) I miss going to Tom Horbon's.

Mad Marie

^GRZZOWHGHGH. {Translation: “Me too.”}

fractal porn

3rd panel: Marten's eye colour switched for that panel ...

Nick

Jef gonna be deported, shading the Tom Horbon’s

ValdVin

In an AU this means a big dustup, ending with Jeph's departure at the hands of a few Mounties, and big signs at the nearest land border to Massachusetts reading "Construire Le Mur!"

ValdVin

I like me some goblins, but after a certain threshold of them, a Cubetown needs a Claire (or Claire-adjacent) to be The Librarian.

Andrea Andrew

Claire and Marten could be poly.

MayLaBelle

I'd like to imagine that they do have Tim Horton's in the QC universe, and this is just a discount knockoff brand.

Adam Benson

I think this is the first time I've seen him lose his chill.

Stephen Wells

Well, the breakup with Dora was not very chill either. But this is a pretty notable loss of patience by his standards.

Stephen Wells

Oh, wait. Her Simulations have Predicted that Claire will take the job and bring so much order that Cubetown will no longer function as intended as an idea generator. IOW gremlin scientist may have an anxiety disorder.

David Durant

Does anyone else find that once it gets over about 50 comments you can only see the most recent ones after that number?

David Durant

Which is weird because successful science is all about being maximally cooperative

David Durant

Which would be lovely but there's so far zero evidence of any poly characters in QC.

Randall Norman Pick

Cubetown seems mainly a generator for making the tempers snap on some of QC's chillest characters

Orion Rhine

The Bros! are confirmed to be in a poly relationship, so there is at least one.

SheepFace2000

Holy crap you pissed off Marten.. How the fuck do you piss off Marten..

Gaz

if this starts Marten attempting to move the Entire Coffee Of Doom Shop Here just for good joe, I will not be surprised

Orion Rhine

Jeph originally confirmed it in a tweet that is now, unfortunately, lost. The Bros! latest appearance was in comic #3263 where they are on a dating app as a group which is the closest to confirmation I can give without Jeph himself weighing in again.

Doc Gumby

I guess you mess with his coffee intake!

Chloë Salzenberg

Dora fight the first? Or was that just really annoyed?

Chloë Salzenberg

Oddly, no. We know her desire but not her motivation...

Lightsabr2

Promise coffee, deliver grog

Sean Kinlin

Don't make him angry; you wouldn't like him quite as much when he's angry.

Todd Ellner

He is long on patience but has a low tolerance for being screwed with

Opus the Poet
>>101466752

Cubetown probably doesn't have any faeries leading reindeer, but I'm sure there are folks who have similar levels of eccentricity. Maybe this is where Pizza Girl moved to since the last recorded encounter with her.

Daryl Sawyer

Be aggressively insecure about your relationship with him.

Chapel

There's a place in my town (which is in Massachusetts) that's "Best Tacos in Cleveland!" I have not taken up their offer to tell if that's good or not.

Leak

That's because all the remaining comments that won't get loaded by clicking "Load more comments" are actually the replies... When you click all the "Load x replies" links, it should go away - unless someone committed the cardinal sin of deleting their comment, in which case the "Load more comments" will sit there forever to taunt you. (As someone that tends to revisit comment pages every so often having to load all the replies one by one is abso-fucking-lutely infuriating...)

Leak

"Barely legally coffee"

Leak

By now, all I hope for is an extinction-level asteroid to score a near-hit on Cubetown...

Mel

It's true, Timmy's is horrendous coffee

enchantedsleeper

Like..... Claire? Famously chill Claire? 😅