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Chiaroscuro IX (Patreon)

Published:
2017-09-29 14:31:09
Imported:
2026-10
Tags:

Content

And here are all the parts together. I did do some line editing and detail fixing, but I'll wait to overhaul this completely until the next rewrite...I just want to move on to another chapter that doesn't take me two months to write. Commentary soon!

Chiaroscuro IX 

Files

Comments

Nicky Silber

That really was much better all together as one chapter, it flowed better and didn't feel like I'd been getting an information dump for 6 months lol I love the quiet, tender moments they share together. Even though it wasn't overtly sexual, the massage was still sweetly sexy, in a way that's very unique to their relationship. Can't wait for it to be a different day! Hasn't it been the same day for a year now? Lol

Teromain

I think that was why I was having such a problem with it - it felt so dumpy and clunky in separate parts, but it doesn't as much all together. I still want to fix it a lot though. And yeah....it has been the same day for a year. X_x This day spanned six chapters! And Alan and Keyd definitely need to get a little more comfortable physically but non-sexually with each other...since they rushed a lot of that already and both of them have issues with personal contact. But they'll do more soon...

Alex

This is great! I love all the world building additions, like the tea and the tea-making machine. Seriously, this rewrite is so good. I found it kind of heart wrenching that all of Keyd's stuff is still there, even after 12 years. I also really like the addition about Alan's previous relationships and his discovering his sexuality, I think they really help flesh out his background. I feel like in the first draft there wasn't as much about Alan's background, and I'm really liking these additions!

Teromain

Thank you, I'm really glad you're enjoying it and all the additions and such. A lot of this stuff existed during the drafts but I never wrote it in, like stuff about Alan's background or just even how much technology the clar have. There's always that balance between putting worldbuilding in just because you made it, and putting it in because it actually has a purpose. I'm trying to be a little more generous with allowing smaller details in, just because it makes sense for Alan to get a deeper introduction to Keyd's world than he did in the drafts. There's definitely going to be a lot more of it coming up, too!