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Tenebrism X: alternate scene (Patreon)

Published:
2015-02-13 10:42:08
Imported:
2026-10

Content

Instead of extended scenes for this chapter, this is an alternate version of Keyd and Alan's conversation on the couch. Why it's an alternate version will be pretty clear!

Files

Tenebrism X: alternate scene

This "first kiss" scene was one of the first I rewrote when I startled tackling the draft, which was extra dumb of me because after I worked through the rest of the story and got back to it, it no longer made sense to happen this way.

Comments

lonealien

I'm glad you went with the other version. I like that you made Alan and Keyd get along better and more naturally in the new version Tenebrism.

Teromain

Yeah, that was definitely one the huge points of the rewrites, to make their actual pre-relationship relationship stronger and less out of nowhere. This entire conversation scene was actually completely different, but I couldn't include the whole thing here because their interactions with each other were completely different and wouldn't have even read like an alternate scene; more like an entirely different story.

PeridotandPearl

yeah the feeling of this is very different from the new version. It also makes more sense in the newer version because TECHNICALLY they have already kissed back when they first met and what not and Keyd has no qualms about kissing. He probably wouldn't even has registered the action as romantic or suggestive. So adorable and dense.

Teromain

Yeah, technically this is their third kiss both in the real version and this alternate version, and both of them have had a turn at 'starting' it. Though Keyd technically was only doing it to prove a point and was very definitely trying not to be romantic about it despite his feelings - he also has no idea what Alan's culture is like in regards to kissing, and based on what's happened between them already he's got an impression that maybe it's not always romantic or it's acceptable between friends. He won't actually have any strong reaction to the (canon version) kiss until Alan starts trying to apologize for it in the next chapter.