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Chiaroscuro IV (Patreon)

Published:
2016-08-22 06:14:09
Edited:
2016-08-25 03:54:12
Imported:
2026-10
Tags:

Content

I already made an entirely separate post about this, but I know not everyone reads non-content/update posts, so I'm reposting it here so that hopefully as many people as possible see it (chapter link is at the end but please read the rest of this).

I am going to be taking a two month break. For September and October, I am not going to post anything. Instead, I'm going to try and write as much as I can without the pressure of getting it polished and posted and without the bonus material looming over me all the time, and also give myself some time to actually do other things in my life. I haven't done much else other than do a ton of work (that is not apparent by how little I post here) for Patreon since about April, because anytime I pick up a video game or try to do some sewing I feel intensely guilty that I'm not working on writing or bonus material or something for Patreon. I do need a little break to recharge my batteries because I'm pretty sure the reason I can't finish a damn thing these days is because I'm absolutely burnt out.

Because of this, and because you can't just put Patreon on pause for some dumbshit reason, I am going to refund everyone those two months. Even if you say you don't want the refund, I'm going to do it. Because I absolutely cannot take money for doing nothing. And I don't want more of the 'creator didn't deliver as promised' responses because those make me feel even shittier, and sometimes I feel like people don't read these updates and don't know why I'm not updating or that I DID offer a refund. So everyone gets a refund; everyone. No matter how much you are pledging.

In November, I am going to post whatever I did during that two month break. What that will be, I don't quite know yet. It may be a short story, because I have plenty of those sitting around unfinished that I would like to get done. I might get a ton finished (I am HOPING TO, that's the whole idea) so that I'll actually have multiple things to pick from, and that can be posted in other months without me scrambling to finish them in the month of, like I always do.

 And then, during November, I'm going to do NaNoWriMo as usual. I am not going to try to post it as written, since that has literally only worked once for me (I really really really cannot write linearly). But that will hopefully also provide me with something I can START to post eventually. My main picks for what I'm going to do are either Rysa's story, the 5-years-later Skiagraphia story, the sequel to Broken Guns, or a story that is connected to my urban fantasy world (none of the stories related to that have ever been read by anyone but me or finished or shared anywhere, but there are several). I'm not sure which one I will do yet, though if people are interested in one more than the others I'd definitely consider that. I want to do ALL of them eventually, but as is pretty clear, I'm slow as shit at writing these days and it'll probably take ten more years before these are all done. I'm not going to do a poll or anything but feel free to mention if you have any particular interest in  any of those.

So that's the plan. I am going to repost this with the Chiaroscuro chapter, I am probably going to repost it it again later this month, because I want to make sure people know that I am purposefully not updating. And hopefully I will come back with a lot more energy and the ability to actually keep my promises about what I say I'm going to update, because I know I've really failed hard in the last six months and it's making me miserable and I'm sure it's not pleasing anyone else either.

And now that you've read all that (hopefully, please do), here is the chapter. It's about 5k words longer than I wanted it to be and so will be two chapters in a final version, but I'm not going to split it here.

Chiaroscuro IV

Files

Comments

Potatoe

I don't remember what their original first time was like (was it the river scene, or was there something else before that?), but this was perfect. I love the mix of extreme want and extreme anxiety that Keyd struggles with in their relationship.

Alex

I really enjoyed this chapter! The sort of heartbreak/hopelessness in the first part of the chapter was really well written I thought. And I like the little mentions of things that remind him--like when he adjusts his glasses and remembers the tracking spell. Also I can relate to Alan on holding a grudge, haha. I kind of found it funny/endearing that when Law tried to give him the note he instantly was like nope, absolutely not. Because I can get like that with people I dislike so I found it amusing. And man, who can't relate to his crisis of "oh god, useless degree, what is in my future" moment. I like that he is such a relateable character with struggles that the reader can relate to even though there is a lot of otherwordly stuff going on! I swear Alan is one of my favorite main characters--not just because of how relateable he is, but also because of how well you write him and how fun he is to read. I feel like in the rewrites there's a lot more focus on Alan and Rysa's developing friendship. And that's awesome! I like seeing him start to form that relationship with her as well. I know I've said this before, but I love, love how important the friends Alan makes are to him! Thank you for sharing! And I hope you can breathe/unwind in your down time coming up! (:

Teromain

Their original first time was also in Alan's apartment but they did a LOT more. Their physical relationship is just moving a lot slower this time because it really makes more sense for it to. And it'll slow down again once they're in oenclar land and Keyd's anxiety really overcomes the want. The time at the river was Alan giving Keyd a blowjob for the first time haha

Teromain

Thank you! At this point I'm always afraid of writing Alan too emotional because of the criticisms of him being weak and useless, and I might cut some of it out later or at least translate it more into actions than thoughts, but I'm glad you thought it was effective. Law and Alan are both definitely at fault for not being able to talk to each other civilly, although it's definitely more Law's fault for purposefully being an asshole to him for years. But Alan was a pretty big jerk here even though he has no reason to think this is important at all. He just thought he'd get Law back a little but whoops it was Super Effective. I'm glad you like Alan. He's definitely a fun character especially since I've been writing him for so long, and now in the rewrites I get to refine more about him even better. Like him not knowing what he wanted to do with his life was in the drafts, but not quite as much as this, and it's definitely another important aspect of why he likes being in the dangerous alien situations that he purposefully stays in, because it feels important and useful. Other than the friends he makes, and Keyd. And his relationship with Rysa was another thing I wanted to strengthen because in the drafts it's just not as strong as I think it could have been. Doesn't help that Rysa is another fairly emotionally reserved character who doesn't trust easily, but giving them extra scenes like this helps I hope. And Alan is going to make more friends earlier in the rewrites since they all kinda PILED IN at the last book - or at least he'll meet some of the people earlier. I hope this break does help me because I'm having a hard time writing anything at all, especially stories like this one that I've spent years on, which might mean that something totally new shows up in November -_-

Kevin Wotipka

Beautiful, as always. You do sex scenes so well. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole chapter. :)

Teromain

Thank you. And man, sex scenes are still the most difficult things for me to write so I'm glad they're generally received well :)

Brianna

Ironic, Alan telling himself he shouldn't live too much in his head. He managed to almost get himself in trouble a couple times because of this tendency, but luckily for him it all worked out in the end and helped them end the conflict. Looking at Law through Alan's eyes I can understand the dislike. He's just absolutely awful at communicating. It's funny that Martin and Alan's other friends/acquaintances said Law was a decent guy. I always thought it was funny that Law acted like the schoolyard boy pushing the kid he liked into the sandbox whenever he talked to Alan. Oh and Alan's ability to absorb energy from entities... I got confused near the end. Did his use of the energy to kill Keyd's entity mess up his ability? Lastly, I had to laugh at Alan's brain wondering if he was the first human to have sex with an alien. But now I have to know... is he? Gotta read the commentary now. :)

Teromain

Haha, Alan telling himself to get out of his own head doesn't mean he'll actually do it. :D He does tend to get stuck there a lot, but he and Keyd have that in common. Law is pretty socially inept, and socially anxious. And definitely has no idea how to communicate with someone he's been purposefully antagonizing for years. He isn't really a bad guy, he just has a lot of self-inflicted issues and is a little /too/ good at accomplishing things he wants sometimes, like making Alan dislike him. Most people don't have a bad impression of him. Near the end of this chapter or the end of this story? At the end of the entire story, yeah, Alan's ability is mainly gone because he destroyed it/Keyd's entities destroyed it while he was destroying them in turn. He can sense and see energy and that's about it, he can't absorb or use it anymore. Keyd is about the same way. He probably is? Definitely the first person to have sex with someone of the clar race. :D