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I am the Heroine's Master? Groupchat
I see that you are trying to show that Bai Ning is maturing into her own. As she is an adult by this point, but I find her a too serious at times.
There has been a time skip of 8 months and young adults often try to suppress themselves to appear more mature.
Other than Bai Ning’s shenanigans with miantao though she seems the perfect picture of grace in the V2 chapters compared to the gremlin we know her as.
Though that could be her acting to be more mature when visiting the capital if that’s your angle? Let me know what you think
Grammar looks good to me so far, I’ll go over the chapters again later for that. One more thing I want to suggest is you should show scenes of MJ and BN’s relationship slow shift from master and disciple to partners.
I get that they achieved that during traveling from the islands to the capital. But for readers the shift in dynamics may seem abrupt
Yeah I was also wondering about that
It felt odd to me the abrupt shift from master/disciple to equals
Lowk, I honestly cringed when when he called her fellow Daoist Bai Ning. It’s like if my parents started called me by the nickname my friends use. For throughout the story, Mo Jian has basically assumed the unofficial unilateral position of “uncle/caretaker/guardian” and then over just one chapter, it was a straight, strange shift to “well we’re actually now equals.”
You can see it in real life, where people who admire their teachers still formally call them with the usual “Mr. [name]” honorific even after they’ve grown up and are technically now both adults. I know it’s a cultivation novel, and with people who have exceedingly ridiculous long lifespans the perspective is a little skewed, which is why usually strength itself is the foremost indication of seniority, but for Mo Jian and Bai Ning, I honestly fully expect the whole “You are now just my fellow Daoist equal” to be just a formal thing and not actually anything a signaling that there’s going to be an abrupt change in their relationship dynamics with each other
But honestly, at the end of the day, this is just what I think, and I don’t speak for everyone, only myself, and it’s your story at the end of the day, so do with it as you like
Just putting in my two cents if it means anything
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How did a bot get in
Perhaps they accidentally gave their login credentials to a fake patreon
Or they reuse the same password and email on more than one site and someone used that to get into their account here
Thanks, Chewy!
All good points. On the relationship shift: I get it. I was aiming for more of a “21 now” or “just graduated” vibe, but I can see how that creates some dissonance.
From the Doylist perspective, I can reassure you that the shift is not going to be abrupt. Even in Book 2, she still refers to MJ as “master” for the most part, and more importantly, their dynamic does not suddenly become equal. There will be time and buildup, and it is tied to a major story decision that will heavily influence Book 3.
From a Watsonian perspective, I see your point. I added that line about “it’s just him making some words up” in closing interlude 4 for this kind of situation, but on its own, it does not do much to resolve the issue.
Hmm… (not the gag!)
Maybe the better approach is to make Book 2, Chapter 1 more explicit, with BN consistently calling MJ “master” or “teacher,” and then follow through on that. I wanted to show a gradual shift where she becomes more comfortable using his name, but right now that seems to create confusion rather than clarity.
I like this direction. Thanks for the feedback, I will incorporate it.
It means a lot! I love hearing from my readers, and every comment is worth exploring.
You’re also right that for MJ and BN, it’s more of a formality than a true shift. In many ways, she is still the student, and that will not change until… well, that is a spoiler.
So on this front, I think the answer I gave Chewy holds up. I will stick with “master” or “teacher” instead of MJ’s name in Book 2 to keep things clear. That dynamic still fits them, and it gives me room to show a gradual evolution, not a sudden move to equals, but a transition away from a strict teacher–student relationship over time.
Since it was a one time message, I think we can ignore. If it becomes a recurring thing, I’ll see what needs to be done. Thanks, folks!
Hey I’ve got a weird question, is anyone else quitting Patreon cause of the feed update?
Gotta ask - this is a bit alarming to me. What exactly is the feed update, and why is it making you want to quit?
Don’t really know what happened but suddenly my home page was full of recommendations to other authors to the point where you didn’t even show up. You were still there just had to go looking for ya. I’m probably overreacting but I dislike change so I’m gonna probably delete my account. Just find it really annoying is all.
Looks like you got enrolled into their beta program. They give a some users features they’re testing out. No you can neither op in or out of it. Yes it’s annoying. Only fix is to make a separate account and hope it doesn’t get opted in.
Ouch!
I hope this gets fixed soon, then. Having people quit because the site became annoying is a painful thing to consider. Still, do what is best for you!
Thanks!
Man that sucks.
My reaction: Patreon has a homepage?
In seriousness, I just check the notifications or the author’s pages directly. The amount of times I would want a fiction update in between a political podcast and [Insert Your Other Interest of Choice] is approximately never.
I really need some patrons. How do you guys find all the thousands of Patrons committed to supporting your creative projects. Just asking. if you dont mind sharing the secret
Hi,
Sorry, I might be misunderstanding, but are you a writer (or on Patreon yourself) asking how to grow your supporter base (I tried to check but got a company instead)?
If so, I’m probably not the best person to ask. I’m deeply grateful for the support I have, but I’m nowhere near the “thousands of patrons” level. For advice on building an audience at that scale, I’d recommend talking to someone like CasualFarmer or ArcaneCadence.
As for me, all I really do is write and hope people enjoy reading what I enjoy writing. I’m not sure I have any particular lessons or strategies that would be useful to teach someone else beyond that.
i am an author… been worlding a major project for 6 years. i came on patreon to find as well as create a community that may assist in the graphical adaptaion,.
well. your response helps a little better than none
