Jessie's Journal (8/4/2026) (Patreon)

Dear Journal:

OK, more on the cruise…

The first day was a travel day, so I spent most of it exploring with sissy.  We actually got along well at first; I suppose we were both pumped for the trip and briefly forgot all the little things that annoyed us about each other.

Anyway, the ship was huge!  There was a casino in the center that spanned two floors and looked like someplace you’d spot James Bond sipping a vodka martini.  The theater at the bow was even more opulent.  It spanned three floors with multiple mezzanines and was adorned with marble columns and a giant crystal chandelier hanging from a vaulted ceiling.  I thought it would obstruct people’s view, but I found out later it was retractable!   I could hardly wait for the giant, 30-foot-tall red velvet curtain to rise and for Shanna Stevens to step onstage!

But that wasn’t until the next day, so we kept poking around.  There was also a gym at the bow, just above the observation deck, that had more amenities than the one sissy goes to.  And of course it had a MUCH better view.  No matter what you were doing or direction you were facing, there was a panoramic of the Pacific. 

And that was just the tip of the iceberg.  (Probably a bad analogy when discussing cruise ships!)  It had three swimming pools, a spa, a library, a basketball court, and more restaurants, bars, and lounges than I could count.

What it didn’t have were many amenities for the under-21 crowd.  Strike that.  It had plenty of stuff for kids—there was a game room crowded with pre-teens and a daycare packed with toddlers—but there was painfully little for the sixteen-to-eighteen-year-old set.  At first, I thought it was cool we were going on a more adult-oriented cruise, but after a few days I was ready to ride a waterslide and hug a Disney character…

Of course, it didn’t bother sissy.  She brought her fake ID.  And the onboard staff weren’t nearly as diligent in analyzing its validity as the customs agent was with our passports.  If a bartender did give it a second glance, there were a dozen more onboard who wouldn’t.

Eventually, sissy found the easiest marks at this tiki bar on the poop deck.  (Sorry, that term still makes me smile!)  There was this two-man bartending team that seemed more interested in ogling the poolside scenery than checking IDs.  To be fair, they were pretty nice to look at themselves.  The younger guy was tan and buff and could’ve been in a Cirque show the way he juggled bottles and glasses.  The older guy looked like a Temo version of Richard Gere in Pretty Woman, that old movie with Julia Roberts.  He was gray at the temples and had this rakish grin that was a little unsettling. 

Sissy didn’t care about that, though.  All that mattered was that he served her. 

And serve her he did.  Holy crap, did he ever serve her!

More to come…

--Jessie