The Gift of OC Distraction (Patreon)

I liked how those two separate drawings worked when combined, so hello banner image! OTP!

Sooooooooo, when I missed my deadline in a sad, shameful way, the need to rush out a post faded. I'd already lost, so I might as well lose in STYLE! Rather than post slightly-crooked, low-quality pics from my phone - upside: can post while broken in bed - I decided to scan the colored pencil Momentum character attempts I did have into the computer and put in minimal effort at color correction. I’m still sacrificing a big chunk of my goal, but I deserve forgiveness after the medical horror I went through this month. And what I’ve cut out of this post - the “ref sheet notes” aspect I dearly wanted, will be back in overly-dense character profiles down the road.

Backstory refresher to this years-long Momentum debacle, because THIS is the angle I’m taking instead of ref sheetery (warning, I'm just posting after I finish typing, and not editing, so forgive all mess):

Momentum is a fantasy story I’ve used for mental exercises since I was 15, and decided to challenge myself to write a better Magic: The Gathering plot for an expansion set of my own. The nine characters became archetypes that I use to seed any other idea I have, until that idea fills in its own characters. Momentum is a story about a quest taking the eight chosen characters (Rhenna cheats the system to tag along) all across a continent. Plotwise, it’s because, if they’re the people who will shape fate for the Best Ending, they need to understand the needs of people all across the land. Mental exercise-wise, it’s an excuse for endless worldbuilding, as I never wrote any of my ideas down, so I could mentally rewrite them to be different each time, depending on what I felt like toying with at the time. The flux gave me infinite scratch paper for playing - and many versions of how the character’s stories played out. Sooooo...

At the time mismanagement of my healthcare caused enough crashes to take away Precocious from me, one of the stories I was planning was about Quincy collecting the Precociousverse version of Amiibos for the Momentum franchise. In that universe, Momentum's an RPG video game, based on a concept that the (first half of the) story plays out in different ways depending on who you select as your main character. Buy the character’s figure, and you play their story. Also, scanning in other Momentiibos at opportunity points opens sidequests and bonus features in the game you play, so gamers - so easily manipulated into addictive behavior by a predatory system - are encouraged to buy all nine figures. "Depending on the order of scanning, you can play seemingly infinite versions of the story!" (Tho it's, like, 3 main story structures, and everything else is minor variation. “Kimban gets a special hat in this one. Of COURSE it’s worth an extra $40!”)

After it became too painful to think about what I lost with Precocious, I decided to lean into Momentum harder than I had since, like, 2010, as my "keep me from going stir crazy" creative exercises, since it was a connection to Precocious, but none of the stories or worldbuilding would ever be IN Precocious, so no guilt or consequences if I was too broken to do a good job! It was never meant to be a real project! Fumbling and changing things doesn't carry the ego wounds. 

And, to scratch another itch, I could imagine them as proper OCs! See, I follow enough furry artists that I got jealous watching them draw each other's personal characters. I was a fandom recruit, and remained on the outside. My interaction was always from behind my table in a con’s dealer’s den. In OC escapism, I could participate in a way I never did before. Or at least have the option. If I make Momentum OC ref sheets, I can commission art of them! Or get gift art of them for my birthday! (Had I not blown that plan completely!) I have no delusion about people making gift art, particularly in a year where all creatives are pushed to the brink from Worst Timeline hell. It’s the possibility I want! I don’t belong to any group right now. I want to be part of the creators, but I’m not creating. So… furries can be the fallback? The fandom stood by me when they didn’t have to, and I love it for that. I mean, I got the very best of furries. I came in with an all-ages comic about kids, and limited drawing skills, so folks only come to me if they’re on board with my vibes. I am protected! Best case scenario! Even as I failed at all my goals, maybe I could still get love from them via my OCs. Maybe my sketchbook random characters could become adoptables! (I still don’t understand adoptables at all, but it’s a goal to one day sell those sketchbook gems to be OCs for others.)

So, yeah, Momentum scratched two itches. Connection to Precocious. Connection to those who still cared. AND, because my brain keeps every damn thought I’ve ever had in active memory, since untreated ADD has ruined me so much that any organization attempt means a thought is lost forever, when I’m in my near-constant immense pain, I can zone out, enter an “autopilot” state, tilt my head, and watch as Momentum lore, even if I hadn’t thought about that certain scene/concept since the damn 90s, pour out in a way that lets me avoid triggering migraines. Cuz migraines instantly appear whenever I have to focus and scrunch my forehead to contemplate how I should structure my writing. (This is, of course, why everything I post is a MASSIVE rambling essay. It’s autopiloted, and all thoughts that were stuck in my brain due to inability to compose, but remained percolating at the back of my mind, pour out in an unedited deluge.)

Momentum made sense as the filler I could play with as I endured the dark times, and it would keep my brain in practice until I could return to working on Precocious. What I DIDN'T see coming at the start of my 2018 crash is that my docs wouldn't react to my health crises. They chose their comfort over mine, finding ways to disregard my pleas, and - surprise! - it turns out I was never lying, even tho they made me doubt everything I felt and experienced! Without help, I got worse and worse - rapidly reaching a point where I couldn't complete ANY of my Momentum busywork projects, much less begin the return to working on Precocious. I thought I was gonna make Momentum reference sheets back around July 2018, since I assumed my OBVIOUS need, along with CLEAR PROOF OF HOW TO TREAT ME, would quickly result in med adjustments beginning to stabilize me. But I only got worse, so all projects failed, and Precocious’ website became my absolute worst nightmare. Two years of ugly failure that I’m too broken to purge from the archive, cuz - here’s that composition blockage again - I don’t have it in me to redo the “stand by as I recover, and find me still active on Twitter and Patreon” home page update. Crushing, crushing setback, for the filler I was toying with to kill time during MUCH LARGER crushing, crushing setbacks.

But even if my updates were embarrassingly thin, to the point where I’ve never actually been able to write out the actual story or character bios, so what I’ve posted means less than nothing to readers who are already upset I’m not touching on Precocious, my brain NEVER stopped thinking about the Precociousverse Momentum reboot. It’s kept me alive, because seeing Momentum through the lens of Precocious - their animal people now! - rebooted everything, giving me a fresh look on the background noise, and it’s been really exciting to see stories and concepts finally take some shape after 25 years - even if I wasn’t able to execute it in a way that OTHERS could see my revelations. I didn’t give up on any of my goals, both filler and Precocious, cuz, seriously, what else can I do? Comicking is the ONLY thing I can do with my disability, and I’m too sick to comic, it means I’m so sick that leaving bed or eating is a massive struggle. If I’m not drawing, I’m not doing anything in place of drawing. I’m sitting in bed and going insane - well, if not for Momentum (and other brain exercises, cuz I’m so sick I’ve got time to play in, like, five different throwaway creative exercise universes) giving me an escape. It stayed in my mind, even when my body was motionless, waiting for a chance.

So it only took three years to get a few color references done after I first decided to make them - and, honestly, not even USEFUL references, cuz energy/focus never held up long enough to properly design outfits. Only the two in the header are finalized enough for that, really. And it might not count with Nate, since her outfit is more, "Google a sundress and draw her in a green version of it???" 

Counting an older Rhenna piece, I have six of the nine Momentum characters up to a “colored pencil reference” stage. And you can see I got a little more control as I went along, so Phoebe and Meret are already outdated enough to need second passes! (Well, you can’t see, cuz I intentionally put the art at the bottom, to see if you’d read this deluge on your way to the art.)  But I'm worse than before, not better, so anything done at all is a miracle. The “burst” of colored pencils happened because things go so bad that I broke down and disobeyed my doctors, as following orders would’ve ended in me being hospitalized or dying. When I medicated myself by what I knew was right, I STARTED PRODUCING ART AGAIN! Next time I did it, I BEGAN DOING CHORES THAT NORMALLY DESTROY ME! A third? I TALKED TO A FRIEND I HADN’T TALKED WITH IN THREE YEARS ON THE PHONE FOR HOURS! Guess what! The problem wasn’t me after all! It never was! But I absolutely couldn’t keep breaking rules, as docs would execute me, so I enjoyed those windows, and found a few more moments where the pain was so bad I kinda went delirious. All the new - and better - colored pencil work took an immense chunk of my body to complete. I was bedridden for hours/days after making them, and I don’t regret it. I mean, I was gonna be bedridden for 75% of that time anyway. Does this give you enough context of how bad it is? There’s obviously a lot of nuance I’m not sharing, cuz autopiloting, but it’s a hell of a hole I’m in. I’ve gotta celebrate anyway. As badly as I missed all my goals, I do have SOMETHING to show now. And 5 pics in 14 days is BREAK NECK SPEED for me. (Yes, I did literally cause a lot of damage to my neck - along with lots of other parts - by pushing beyond my physical means. Still worth it!)

So you get the story behind the pictures, not the ref sheet end result I wanted with the pictures. Again, the pics are not enough for a ref sheet anyway. I’d need a LOT of text notes to help any artist commissioned, and I need to present alternate angles and outfits for them. Artists *can* work with what I’ve done, but I was a commission artist - and want to return to that - so I know what artists want.

I’m furious over what happened to me, both in the system failing me, and my complete inability to rise up and do what all people tell me to do: Press a button to stop being disabled for a while, so I can do all the tasks that are life-ruiningly overdue. Only works in fiction, alas. It’s a worst case scenario… but I made pictures!

This is Meret Kaida (MARE-et Kah-EEE-dah), whose story is the MAIN Momentum story in the Precociousverse. (As in, Meret’s story is the one used in the popular Avatar: The Last Airbender-y cartoon of Momentum.) She’s the 16yo enthusiastic kid who’s living her dream of being a fantasy protagonist. “I’m one of the orphans from an epic fantasy war, which ended shortly after my birth, trained as a pickpocket, cuz the library I work at is also a criminal front, who’s spent her life in a walled-off city. I even have a protagonist-style hair poof! I’VE EARNED THIS!” And I have indeed indulged her, giving her a magic gravity stone that lets her literally bounce off the walls! (That’s the blue glow in the image.)

And here’s Phoebe D. Alexandros, a 38yo woman who has ALREADY lived out the fantasy protagonist story. She used her performance in that epic war to land a military job in the capital city, and used her drive and careful planning skills to work her way towards politics. She thinks her story is reaching its final stage, as she’s just retired from the military and is about to accept the political appointment she spent her adult life working towards. And then she gets a letter calling her to a certain walled city, gets a package addressed to her pre-military enrollment name, captures a pickpocket who has the same weird stone disc she just received, and… oh no! (Side note: In *my* personal Momentum story, it's Phoebe who's the main character. I like it, but it would be the NOVEL version of the story - remember the four book covers I posted on the Precocious site, in, like, the only filler I made that was good? That's the Phoebe story.)

As if the Phoebe/Meret core dynamic isn’t enough, enter Kimban! (I want to give him a new last name, so it’s only Kimban for now.) He’s the 31yo lucky guy whose bohemian upbringing somehow ended in him inheriting a lot of cash, cuz his open-marriage mom got knocked up by a bank executive who had more unfortunate accidents than other heirs! Kimban is idly rich, a total genius - his quest role is team strategist - and spends his time dressing flashy (he owns a boutique, among other investments) to hit the big-personality Vegas gambling lifer vibe. He won a weird stone disc in a card game, and he went to the library to look up the weird words written on it. And so we get our main three, that play off each other so well in my head, tho you have no evidence of it! Phoebe and Meret worked so hard to hone their skills, and when Kimban only has to start putting in real effort on the quest, the first thing he does when fate powers start activating is to will himself to having telekinetic powers, so his DOLLS can do the work. (In his defense, the demigods of the land gave him the dolls as a gift, so they called it before he even knew it was an option. Blame them! Also: Such comedy potential!) Anyway, he’ll grow and become a hero and whatnot, but no need to break what isn't broken!

Know those stone discs? There are eight of them, but it turns out they’re actually two sets of four. Fate is… pragmatic! You only need one set of four to start the quest, tho you get a bonus if you can find all eight. Fate WANTS this quest to happen and succeed, even if it’s the lesser good ending. I bring it up here because Aaron (also with a last name pending) and Phoebe both have discs marking them as LEADERS. And both were operating their groups thinking they were the ONLY leader, until they met. (Conflict!) Aaron spent his whole life around a top northern university, following in his professor parents’ footsteps as a linguist and archeologist - including the illegal treasure hunting and artifact selling side of it! He’s got his “Professor Aaron” persona, to properly show off as the guy literally designated as the interpreter of the mission, and cuz he’s a big dork who’s super into being part of this quest, who LOVES to show his work!

...but Aaron isn’t actually a professor. Team sweetheart Nate, however, is. (Full name: Natalia Sara Annelith Vonnegan-Kindler Markwood. Yeah, just call her "Nate.") Nate also spent her life in a higher learning setting - but it was a quirky and isolated school for herbal medicine down south, cuz herbs are legit magic in this world! One downside of being off in the herbalist school learning all those skills, and being adopted by a middle-aged guy, when she got orphaned as a baby, in what turned out to be one of the very first volleys in the epic dark war for existence, who left his old doc life after gaining a new responsibility and being scarred by what he saw, and founding a school with other folks his age or older, is that it shakes out to being that she has never really been around people her own age… until 23yo Professor Nate started teaching grad students. Gross! (Guess who dug up a weird disc right as she thought about finding her own path, cuz she found herself accumulating bad habits at home, so maybe it’s time to get out and expand her universe, even if the idea of finally meeting peers is rather TERRIFYING!) Two emotionally walled-off dorks, trying to hide behind their qualifications, of course found each other on their way to join the group, and are both totally clueless, in denial, and unable to handle the vibing that happened as they traveled together.

Look, I’m not making ref sheets in this post. I told you that. So I get to write the teasers *I* want to share. This stuff has been stolen from a "How I learned to stop worrying and embrace fantasy indulgence" post I had in my drafts but burned out before finishing it, where I decided a youngling-aimed franchise - especially one with nine different main character paths - has every right to lean hard into over the top fantasy protagonist backstories/profiles, and thus chose all the flashiest ideas I ever had about then. (Orphan pickpocket dreamer Meret! Brooding headcase ex-mob enforcer Tijo! The "I wanna go my OWN way" heir to a high-profile family Jerrod! Cult runaway turned war hero Phoebe!) Maybe a mistake, but it's fun I hadn't allowed myself before.

Thank you for reading this dreary story of my living nightmare that produces, like, one piece of non-sketch art every 6 months on average! (Once again, I can’t control the length - I just type until I hit a snag and the migraine stops me. Or, as in this case, I have a night that is SO TERRIBLE that I take extra medication to halt the unbearable spasms, and SUDDENLY I CAN THINK - enough that autopiloting dodged a lot of snags that would normally take me out! Anyway, let us all pray my doctors finally listen to me and do what needs to be done to stop the death spiral.