New Song: "Are They Really Gonna Vote For Him?" (Patreon)

See, I really can't figure this out. One the one hand, you have an old man, who has some problems with memory and movement, but is good and decent and kind and knows his stuff as well as anybody in the country. And on the other side, you have... him.

Technical note: I transposed this to a key more easy for me to sing. I also added a third verse, because I always thought the original song needed a third verse.

Science denying fascists marching down Pennsylvania Avenue They were elected ‘cause they said they're gonna get things doneLook over there! Where? There's an insurrection at the Capitol.The man who started it says they're patriots just having fun

Are they really gonna vote for him?All the dead and injured cops, please don't forget --Broken windows, feces on the wall,And if they’d found him, they were planning To hang the vice president.

Tonight's the night the whole damn MAGA party picks their candidate He washed his hair, and spackled on two pounds of orange paintLook over there! Where? There comes the parade of Trump cosplayersCotton’s snarling, Vance is snarling, Burgum’s snarling, Rubio might faint

Are they really gonna vote for him?Seven trillion added to the national debtAre they really gonna vote for him?He says my eyes must deceive me,He hasn't done a thing wrong yet.

But if looks could kill,He’d have killed off his whole cabinet And he's babbling stillAbout elections and boat batteries And being eaten by sharksBaby shark....

For nine long years, this crazy man has dominated all our livesTore up our treaties, treated immigrants like vermin scumLook over there! Where? There he's sucking up to dictators againHow can a man with so much cash be such a bum?

Are they really gonna vote for him?Can't we go and stick him in an oubliette?Isn't there one sane Republican?‘Cause if my eyes don't deceive me,Democracy is still under threat.

Music: "Is She Really Going Out With Him?:" by Joe Jackson

Image: actual Reagan 1980 campaign button (public domain) nicked from Wikimedia