New Song: "Escape (From ICE)" (Patreon)

I actually wrote a different parody of this song awhile back, about "Subpoena Colluders". Maybe I'll post that one eventually. But I think this is better.

I was tired of the MAGA,

Those people aren't very nice.

Too many find it too easy

To join with DOGE or with ICE.

At three o’clock in the morning,

I was doomscrolling in bed.

On a political web site

There was a story that read: 

If you come from Venezuela,

And have suspicious tattoos,

You’ll be detained and deported 

And vilified on Fox News.

To Tecoluca they will fly you,

You’ll be caged like an ape

In the prison called CECOT,

From which there's no escape.

Masked agents grabbing immigrants 

Off the street into vans

And The Felon in the White House

Hopes to do it to Americans.

He calls those criminals “homegrown”,

Wants them deported as well.

Toss due process out the window,

And send them all off to Hell.

Kilmar Abrego Garcia

Who’ll bring him back to our shore?

Bukele says it's the U.S.

Trump says it's El Salvador.

Some Democrats are going down there

To cut through all this red tape

Or at least bring a file

So he can plan his escape.

They picked up Merwil Gutierrez,

And Mahmoud Khalil.

Arrested Sai Pavuluri,

And brought along Doctor Phil.

None had criminal records

Or was a threat to you and me

Straight-up racial profiling,

Based on white supremacy.

Young Adriana Zapata,

Nixon Azuaje-Perez   Az-WAH-hey 

And miss Rumeysa Ozturk 

.say “Thanks heaps, Mr. Prez”.

Don't know how many more were taken

But the world stands agape,

Till Trump’s impeached and convicted

And put where he can't escape.

Kilmar Abrego Garcia

Finally brought back to our shore,

But the regime still accused him

Of wanting to start a war.

If your name sounds vaguely Spanish,

Or you're less pale than Snape,

They want to throw you in prison,

Now’s a good time to escape.

If you like piña coladas

And getting caught in the rain

Once you’re locked up by our guys,

You’ll never have those again.

If you like making love at midnight,

On the dunes of the cape,

Forget it, just try surviving 

Till you plan an escape.

Music: "Escape (The Pina Colada Song)" by Rupert Holmes