New Lyrics: "Jinglebell" (Patreon)

Inspired (again) by a cartoon by Lar DeSouza. Original tune, but I'mma make it as John Barry-ish as I can. And in the third verse, I completely blow up the rhyme scheme, because it just wasn't working. Special thanks to A.M. Schneider, for a LOT of help beating the lyrics into shape.

Every twenty-fifth of December

When the night is crisp and clear

And the hearth’s lost its last glowing ember

It's then he’ll appear --

Head to toe a right jolly old elf,

But it's not his façade you should fear.

Pretty girl, just watch out for yourself,

Or the last sound you hear...

Will be Jinglebell.

No one knows why he goes at this season

Leaving presents every year.

Taking cookies and milk -- what's the reason?

It's the strangest career.

The snowflakes and tinsel are endless,

But they're only a bright veneer;

Why is someone so friendly so friendless,

And what's with the deer?

Tell us, Jinglebell.

At his beard and red suit, you can't help but smile,

But stay out of his arms if you can.

For he’ll laugh and enchant and delight and beguile,

But it's all in his sinister plan.

So beware of the terror in scarlet,

Bringing tidings of joy and good cheer.

For one night you'll be catamite or harlot

And then up the chimney you’ll disappear.

If you hear little drummer boys drumming,

Or the carolers singing and humming,

It's not because Christmas is coming,

But that under the tree you're succumbing

That tingle that’s forming is your single warning

He’s here...

Mister Jinglebell.

Call him Jinglebell.

Mister Kringle as well.

He's Jinglebell.

Jinglebell!