New Song: "We Need A Little Krampus" (Patreon)

According to Wikipedia ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Krampus ), "In folklore, Krampus is a horned, anthropomorphic figure described as "half-goat, half-demon",who, during the Christmas season, punishes children who have misbehaved, in contrast with Saint Nicholas, who rewards the well-behaved with gifts. Krampus is one of the companions of Saint Nicholas in several countries including Austria, Bavaria, Croatia, Czech Republic, Hungary, Slovenia, South Tyrol and parts of Northern Italy. The origin of the figure is unclear; some folklorists and anthropologists have postulated its pre-Christian origin."

Mark A. Schmidt suggested I do something to this tune, and... yeah.

Music: "We Need A Little Christmas" by Jerry Herman, from the musical Mame

Haul out the holly,It’s time for Santa to re... ward the nicer kids ‘n’Punish the follyOf the naughty ones and... all the things they didWrong.

‘Cause we need a little KrampusRight this very minute,He knows you’ve been bad andThere’s no way you can spin itThere’s an awful lot of troubleAnd you’re hip-deep in itYou’ll wish for Scrooge’s type of haunting,You’ve been judged and you’re found wanting 

Half goat, half demonWith a big long tongue and... birch to switch you withPlease stop the screamin’It only makes him angry, you wouldn’t like him that way

For he’s grown a little leaner, Grown a little colder,Grown a little meaner,He don’t care that you’re older,If you end up on his list, he’llDislocate your shoulder,We need a little Krampus now!

Haul out the bodies,Forget the lists this year, and... we’ll get all of ‘em,Kids nice and naughty,We’ll flog and maim and torment... from Thanksgiving through Lent.

And we need a little KrampusFor each unruly toddler,Making up for parentsWho spoil him or coddle herYeah, we need a little Krampus, Like craft beer needs a bottler,Like an evil cattle drover, MOVE IT CLAUS, I’M TAKING OVER!

Crawl up the chimneyDragging the kids all shackled... in my chains of iron,Cel... e... brate grimly,I’ll make Jack Skellington look like... he’s not tryin’ atAll.

For we need a little terror,Need a little shrieking,To contrast with the bearersOf Jesus’s gifts, the three kings,So, if you hear something downstairs,Don’t you dare go peeking,We need a little Krampus --[Those carols you were humming?]For kids, adults, and grandpas --[SANTA ISN’T COMING!]We need a little Kram... pus...Now!

[evil laugh]