New Lyrics: "Angry Old Prez" (Patreon)

Written just post-White House Correspondents Dinner. To the tune of "Angry Young Man" by Billy Joel.

There’s a place in the world for the Angry Old Prez,

And the self-contradicting garbage that he says,   gar-BHAZH

He’s the world's smartest man, he can do any task

Better than all the experts. You doubt him? Just ask.

And he sits in a House where the East Wing is gone

And the Resolute Desk’s what his trophies sit on

And he’s never earned one of ‘em, Angry Old Prez.

Read a statement or two from the Angry Old Prez,

He can tweet thirty tantrums while we're in our beds,

When reporters ask questions, he’ll always refuse,

Insult them and their networks and call them fake news,

He denies his misogynist racist attacks,

But they’re always directed at women and blacks

And he can't keep his mouth shut, the Angry Old Prez.

During his campaign the other year,

He faked a gunshot to his ear,

The gunman’s dead, so little blood, he healed so quick.

He was at the dinner for

The White House Correspondence corps,

Another shot to lead into his ranting shtick,

Ohhhhh

And there isn't a place for the Angry Old Prez

And don't look at his close-up in 4K hi-res,

He’s got orange foundation on most of his face

And a scraggly bird’s nest that won't stay in place

And the press corps and cabinet smiles as he sits,

Either falling asleep or just taking a shit

And he thinks that we think he's a nice guy young prez.

Conservatives would really thrive 

With Project 2025,

They think the Constitution is a royal pain

Oil barons, high-tech sharks,

And crypto fascist oligarchs

Support the prez and trust his quickly fading brain....

Ohhhhh

And there isn't a place for the angry old prez

And you can't trust a single damn word that he says

All his people are evil, they're trying to exhaust 

All of us, if they do, our democracy’s lost

And the press corps pretends that the whacko means well,

He’s an agent of chaos, he’ll blow us to hell,

Get the nuclear codes off the angry old prez.

And we might have a Hague for the angry old prez