New Song: "Star Wars Day" (Patreon)

Yeah, I know -- it's past for this year. All of them have passed for this year. Still, I tweaked it, got it done, and here it is for you, ready for next year and every year!

In nineteen seventy seven,My life was changed for good:A little independent movieOpened in my neighborhood.

A princess led a rebellionAgainst the evil galactic empire,And Luke blew up the Death Star justAs it was gonna open fire.

And I said, ooh chile, never seen so manySpaceships on this one mission,Ooh chile, in forty years we gonnastart us a new traditionOnline...

‘Cause it's the fourth of May, fourth of May,May the fourth be with you today,With Chewie, Han, and Leia,And Greedo got blown away.Jawas say “Ootini” in their sandcrawler,Ewoks sing YUB NUB down in the holler,Hoth below you, Bespin above,Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called...Star Wars Day.

It's really all about Darth Vader,How he starts out as a little kid.(We wish midichlorians didn't exist,But of course they did.)

He really liked Queen Padme,He really didn't like sand,Then he killed all the younglingsAnd Obi-Wan cut off his legs and hand

And I said, ooh chile, they should had pre-natalCare for your wife and chilluns,Ooh chile, you're gonna be one of theCinema’s greatest villains,In time...

‘Cause it's the fifth of May, fifth of May,It's the revenge of the Sith today,With Qui-Gonn Jinn and Yoda,And Darth Maul went both ways....Dooku tries a power play and loses,Anakin sees the Dark Side and he chooses,Coruscant below you, Naboo above,Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called...Star Wars Day.

So now it's so many years later,It's still in everything that I do,I named my little Corgi Jar Jar,My kids Threepio and Artoo.

I carry around a light saber,Colored purple like Mace Windu,I tried to use the Force on a parking cop,Got not one ticket but two.

And I say, ooh chile, the games and stories and theUniverse is expanding,Ooh chile, in forty years I’ll still beLoud and proud and standing,Outside...

It's the twenty-fifth of May, twenty-fifth of May,And that's Orthodox Star Wars Day.Finn and Poe and Rose  and Lando,And Kylo Ren and Rey,You could pick apart the plot with some tweezers,Palpatine and Luke are cranky old geezers,Jakku below you, Ahch-To above,Celebrate spring with a crazy little thing called...Star Wars Day.Star Wars Day.This is the Way!

Music: "First of May" by Jonathan Coulton