New Lyrics: "Witch Doctor Who" (Patreon)

Scott Rutter mentioned these words in combination, and I IMMEDIATELY started writing.

I wondered which actor was playing Doctor Who

The DVDs’ blank case, it gave me not a clue,

So I put in the first disk and let it play through.

And it had....

Pertwee, he was third,

Dang thing has ‘em out of order,

Hartnell, Troughton, Baker,

Davison and Baker 2!

McCoy, Paul McGann,

John Hurt, Eccleston, and Tennant,

Matt Smith, Peter and Jodie,

All played Doctor Who!

I wondered which Doctor was gonna be on screen

Fighting the Cybermen, the Daleks, or Slitheen,

The Ood, the Weeping Angels, Who would we be seeing?

And it was....

Pertwee, he was third,

Dang thing has ‘em out of order,

Hartnell, Troughton, Baker,

Davison and Baker 2!

McCoy, Paul McGann,

John Hurt, Eccleston, and Tennant,

Matt Smith, Peter and Jodie,

All played Doctor Who!

I love Rowan Atkinson and also Peter Cushing,

Although it could be said Rowan was fake,

There’s the clone who got with Rose, though that was kinda pushing,

And who of us did not love Jackson Lake?

The lady fugitive, she took us for a ride.

And then there's River Song, who is the Doctor's bride,

This timeline couldn't get more mixed-up if they tried.

It starts with...

Pertwee, he was third,

Dang thing has ‘em out of order,

Hartnell, Troughton, Baker,

Davison and Baker 2!

McCoy, Paul McGann,

John Hurt, Eccleston, and Tennant,

Matt Smith, Peter and Jodie,

All played Doctor Who!

Who would play the Doctor has confounded countless casters

Who had a schedule that they had to meet,

All those different aliens, companions, and Masters,

A list that's never gonna be complete.

For over fifty years we’ve all watched Doctor Who

The greatest casting gimmick anyone could do

We’ll get a new one after twenty twenty two

But till then...

Pertwee, he was third,

Dang thing has ‘em out of order,

Hartnell, Troughton, Baker,

Davison and Baker 2!

McCoy, Paul McGann,

John Hurt, Eccleston, and Tennant,

Matt Smith, Peter and Jodie,

All played Doctor Who!

Music: "Witch Doctor" by Ross Bagdasarian