New Lyrics: "Cover of the Necronomicon" (Patreon)

Basically a silly mashup of various plot elements from the Evil Dead trilogy, to the tune of "Cover of the Rolling Stone" by Dr. Hook and the Medicine Show. It takes a little extra work to sing it, but I think it works.

We were dumb college students and it wasn't prudent

To spend the weekend in the woods,

But we found this cabin and we started havin

The very best time we could

In between our humpin, we stumbled onto somethin

Someone was doin research on,

An old book held together with human leather

That was called the Necronomicon.

Filled with awful languages and rituals,

Things that treated people as victuals,

I wish I’d never seen that face

On the cover of the necronomicon.

I gotta freaky young lady, had to decapitate-ee,

She said she's gonna swallow my soul,

I had to chop my own damn hand off

‘Cause it wasn't under my control.

I got no more friends, ‘cause they all died,

And I probably won't see the dawn,

And it ain't getting better, gotta fight Henrietta

Sent by the Necronomicon.

Get out before someone else gets fridged,

Aw, dang it, what happened to the bridge?

I wish I’d never seen that face

On the cover of the necronomicon.

I got a lot o’ little nasty white-eyed Deadites

Who’ll possess anyone they can,

I got a genuine S-Mart chainsaw

Where I used to have my right hand

I got a magic spell to close the gate to hell,

So the demons will all be gone,

But as it opens up a portal, I hear that book chortle --

Man, I hate that Necronomicon.

Me and my Oldsmobile 88

Went back to medieval times -- great,

Gotta close another freakin gate

Opened by the Necronomicon,

Opened by the Necronomi --

Killing all these corpuses delecti

Gotta say Klaatu barada... necktie?

I’m gonna wipe that stupid smirk

Off the cover of the Necronomicon.