New Lyrics: "Jedi Clampett" (Patreon)

So, I saw that image on FB, and this happened. Does it need anything? I didn't want to revisit the entire movie -- it's the theme for an ongoing series after all. Although I could hit one movie per verse....

Come and listen to a story about a man named Jed,

Poor moisture farmer, barely kept his family fed.

Then one day, he was going round a bend,

And saw some storm troopers fighting crazy old Ben.

Kenobi, that is.

Screaming like a krayt dragon.

Or maybe Gohan from dragonball z.

Well, the first thing you know, Jed’s helping in the fight,

And ben pulls out a saber made of light.

He says “Alderaan is the place I gotta be”,

So we loaded up the speeder and we went to mos eisley.

Wretched hive, scum and villainy.

Now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and Obi-wan,

They came out of lightspeed in the rubble of Alderaan.

You're all invited back next week to watch them save the day.

With Jeh-three-pio, Darth Drysdale, and Princess Leia Mae.

On the Millennium Chicken that is.

This ain't the still yer lookin for

Take yer restraining bolt off

The force be with y’all, y’hear?