New Song: "Republicans Care A Lot (About Your Groin)" (Patreon)

Inspired by Adam Goss, and the appalling Republican Party. Seriously.

Republicans care a lot about your groin,

Republicans care a lot about your groin,

They say they want small government,

But your crotch? They’ll govern that.

Republicans care a lot about your groin,

Republicans care about your maidenhead,

You're not supposed to lose it till you’re wed,

And the moment that you do, then

You have made a complete human

Before you've even rolled out of your bed.

Republicans care a lot about your dick,

They want it long and strong and hard and thick.

dysfunction must not be God's will,

That's why they've got that little blue pill.

Of course, you don't get to choose if you're a chick.

Republicans care about those who are gay,

‘Cause they're doing things the wrong and icky way,

Love and partnership are groty,

It's all where you stick your stogie,

And don't get it on me, I’ll be led astray.

Republicans care about those who are trans,

The male prerogative is always Man’s.

A woman dressing like a guy

Is spitting right in Jesus’ eye,

And a guy in a dress defies his very glans.

Republicans care about gender-fluid kids,

They're not logical, they're living by their ids,

If kids don't like how they're assigned,

It's obvious they've lost their mind,

Their own feelings are what the law forbids.

Republicans care a lot about your womb,

Once a kid’s in there, you don't control the room.

They’ve a very simple treatise:

Whether zygote, egg, or fetus,

It annuls you, even if it means your doom.

Republicans care a lot about our groins,

Unhealthy interest in other people's loins,

Though what you do does not affect them,

They'll police your crotch and rectum

Justifying it with a church you haven't joined.

What I’m trying to say, and on this you can quote:

They're shoving / their religion down everyone's throat

So unless you think The Handmaid's Tale

Is so permissive it must fail,

Get up off your asses and get out the vote.