Alternative Facts (Patreon)

Based on the magnificent phrase delivered by Kellyanne Conway over the weekend. Music: "Cruella De Vil" by Mel Leven, riffed on by way of the Selena Gomez cover.

Note: This one is going... kinda live. As well as here, I'm going to put this song on YouTube. Timeliness, y'unnastan. :)

Alternative facts, alternative facts,The brand new description of lying by hacks,A public servant never redacts,We give them, alternative facts.

If someone says something that might cause you grief,Then say something different, and lie through your teeth,Repeat it long enough and they’ll relax,Just give ‘em, alternative facts

At first they’ll say you can't keep up this lying, There must be facts on which we can agree,But just go on gaslighting, they'll tire out and stop fighting,And then you can rewrite reality.

The Press Secretary, the President too,Hey! Kellyanne says that’s what Presidents do,When they are in the mood to grind an axe,We’ll win with, alternative facts.

It may drive all the mainstream media crazyWhen you discuss an actor, or crowd size,But taking such an action is a really great distractionTo keep them from detecting bigger lies.

The technique’s so simple, the data so vague,Our best chance to avoid getting locked in the Hague,Until then, we’ll just spew them to the max,Alterna, alternative facts.