New Song: "Happy Indictment Day" (Patreon)

My friend Rachel Thurston wanted me to write this, to the tune of my "Happy Conception Day". No problem. The commas are important in this one.

Happy Indictment Day,The day we’ve waited for,The day the Constitution caught you,Settling the score.It’s been an awful eight years sinceYou glided down those stairs,Now I guess you and Mike PenceCould use some thoughts and prayers.

Happy Indictment day,It’s been a paper chase.You were elected president andDamn near wrecked the place.You seemed to think that you could bluster,Power in your claws,But now we’re taking on your fluster-Cucking with our laws.

You said you’d make America greatBut never told us how.Turned out your ideal ship of stateGot orders from Moscow.

You gave your folks permission to preachRacist genocide,And lied and lied and lied and lied andLied and lied and lied.

Happy Indictment Day,At last it’s finally here.And may there be many more,It’s early in the year.So throw your ketchup on the wallAnd mobilize your hicks,‘Cause if you hate this, wait till we startWith January 6.So... sad.

Image nicked from Politico; VIEWpress/Corbis via Getty Images