New Lyrics: "Forbidden Knowledge" (Patreon)

I'm not even sure this is funny. I'd appreciate some feedback. It's based on the meme at the top. The music in my head is kinda like Devo, or Weird Al's riff on them, "Dare To Be Stupid".

I had a couple topics to research

Urgent and great was my need

But now my reputation’s been besmirched,

I asked about “teaching crabs how to read”.

It's Forbidden Knowledge, Kapersky said,

It isn't allowed inside your head,

According to your current parental control,

You might be risking your very soul.

I found myself sliding down the rabbit hole,

Does Midjourney count as an internet troll?

Will Billy Porter be Taylor Swift’s new wife,

How can I convert the Water of Life?

If the Second Law of Motion is all about force,

There are acceleration and mass Jedi, of course.

To enter God Mode all you have to do

Is up up down down left right left right

b a start 42

It's Forbidden Knowledge, don't look surprised,

You’re human, so you're unauthorized.

The secrets of the universe just out of reach,

Unless the Illuminati have a data

Breach....

Does the Lady in the Lake still have a sword,

Can you chat with Cthulhu on his Discord?

Can you outswim the living dead,

Can you teach a horse to talk like Mister Ed?

If I have a Himalayan salt lamp,

Can I eat it on my steak and garlic ramps?

If I’m bitten by a radioactive fly,

Will I get superpowers, teleport, or just die?

If a Haunted Mansion ghost will follow me home,

Can I pick the one that looks like a garden gnome?

If I go through the back of my wardrobe this winter,

Will I go to Narnia, or just get splinters?

If Marcella Hazan met Chef Boy-R-Dee,

Would we get caught in a pasta singularity?

Can we elect a politician who isn't a jerk?

WHY DON’T MAGIC SPELLS WORK!?

It's Forbidden Knowledge, it can't be had,

You thought eleven secret herbs and spices was bad.

There are forces keeping you unaware

Of the vital info they refuse to share.

It's Forbidden Knowledge, only known to a few,

And it won't be found by the likes of you,

Unless you join the proper secret tribe,

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