New Song: "Dangerous Bunnies" (Patreon)

Mark Bernstein offered me this idea last week, and I, er, hopped on it. Mark also wrote the last two lines (about the "warrens of doom"). Thanks, my friend!

When I wasGrowing up, before I’d playOutside on every Saturday,I’d camp before the tube, a box of Frosted Flakes at hand.

A rabbit wearing gloves would getInto an altercation withA bull or duck or Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam

All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,Taking notes of all the wacky methods that they use,All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,Dangerous bunnies didn't know how to lose,Dangerous bunnies with a very short fuse.

Then later it intensified,I saw a film, my brain, it fried,Called Night Of The Lepus, and it started Dr. McCoy.

I started seeing everywhereEach savage killer cuddly hareAnd they made me a dangerous and paranoid boy

All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,Fiver, Hazel, kinda nice, but Woundwort made me freak,All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,Dangerous bunnies on my TV each week,Dangerous bunnies made me squeal and shriek.

Bun Bun and Bunnicula, Oswald, Kevin Dewclaw,Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail, and Peter ate a farm,Captain Carrot and Crusader, Etsy has some dressed as Vader,Judy Hopps and Ricochet and who framed Roger?

So I’ve grown up a lonely man,Hunt lagomorphs whene’er I can,Determined to protect the world from rabbits on the prowl.

Into their hearts I’m striking fearWith all my rabbit-fighting gearAlthough these floppy ears and tail just ain’t a cape and cowl.

All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,Usagi Yojimbo and the one from Holy Grail,All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,Dangerous bunnies look so cute and so frail,Give ‘em one second and your ass they will rail.

All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,Stabbity and Hoppy, zombie bunnies we exhume,All of my life I’ve known dangerous bunnies,Dangerous bunnies make pianos go boom,Dangerous bunnies in their warrens of doom.

Music: "Dangerous Heroes" by Michael Longcor

Image: Usagi Yojimbo by Stan Sakai (used without pemission)