FAWM Lyrics #4: "Merry and Pippin's Hobbit Travel Blog" (Patreon)

Imagine a podcast, with two hosts going back and forth. I think this isgonna be fun as heck to record.

I am Meriodoc Brandybuck

And I’m Peregrine Took

Welcome to our podcast

Soon to be a bestselling book

We’ve wandered all across the Shire

In search of fine libation

Food and drink and pipeweed

But we're taking a vacation

For our friend Frodo

And his faithful gardener Samwise

Are heading off to Rivendell

Why are they in disguise?

Dodging nasty Ringwraiths

And a guy who looks like a frog (Gollum)

So don't go away, you're listening to

Merry and Pippin’s Hobbit Travel Blog.

Rivendell was five-star -- ah,

The food! The wine! The elves!

But Frodo had to leave, and so

We went with him ourselves.

From Boromir we learned to fight,

On Weathertop ‘twas dire,

And then we lost our wizard

To a balrog in Moria. (Fool of a Took!)

Then things went southward,

We met some Uruk-Hai,

They killed Boromir

And kidnapped you and I.

THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD

GARD GARD GARD GARD

THEY’RE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD

-- what did you say?

But we escaped and ran into

A walking talking log

We’ll be right back with more of

Merry and Pippin’s Hobbit Travel Blog!

Treebeard, the lord of Fangorn,

Gave us Entwine, cold and sweet,

We grew four inches taller

(And got more hair on my feet).

Then we convinced the Ents that they

Should finally go to war,

Trapped Saruman in Orthanc,

Then we move on to Book Four.

No, wait a minute, you forgot

The Fellowship came by

And Gandalf was alive again,

Never said how or why.

Then Grima threw a bowling ball,

It landed in the bog,

And Sauron heard us, loud and clear --

Merry and Pippin's Hobbit Travel Blog!

So Pippin rode with Gandalf off to Minas Tirith tower,

While Merry went with Eowyn in Gondor’s darkest hour,

We tried our best but couldn't save the steward Denethor,

But we avenged King Theoden on the fields of Pellenor.

Then Aragorn led everyone up to Mordor’s Black Gate,

The Mouth of Sauron showed us Frodo’s swag, were we too late?

But just when we thought we were dead, Barad-dur crashed down,

Sauron was dead, new King got wed, and we head out of town.

We all went back to Rivendell and hung out with the elves,

Then went home without Gandalf, he said we could handle ourselves.

The Shire had been scoured, Saruman died at Bag End,

We hobbits all got cleaning, and soon all was good again.

So now the Third Age ended, we saved the last for best,

We were famous, Sam got married, Frodo sailed West,

But there's much more to tell -- appendices and epilogue,

So please tune in next season

When we return with

Merry and Pippin’s Hobbit Travel Blog!

And remember, only a sixty silver penny donation gets you our stylish tote bag full of pipeweed! Oh, Southfarthing! Finest smoke in Hobbiton!