The Projector #39: When the Lights Go Down (Patreon)

by Keith Phipps

It’s important to maintain perspective during the COVID-19 crisis, especially if you’re healthy and financially stable (or close enough) to be able to ride it out. Even in those situations, however, it’s hard not to wish for the parts of pre-quarantine life we took for granted. If you’re reading this, that almost certainly includes movie theaters.

Our friend Matt Singer recently wrote a piece for ScreenCrush listing everything he missed about movie theaters themselves. As the piece points out, at this point it’s easy to miss even the tacky parts of the moviegoing experience. What I wouldn’t give to gaze on the horrific airbrushed murals of Chicago’s River East multiplex right now. I keep thinking about all the nights when I didn’t have the energy to go out for a 9:30 show after the kid was put to bed. (Though, truth be told, I probably would have fallen asleep that late.) I’ve never wanted to go to a movie theater more than I do right now. 

I also kind of can’t imagine going to one right now. Georgia’s plan to reopen movie theaters next week sounds like a disaster waiting to happen (like most of Georgia’s proposed attempt to reopen this soon). And I keep thinking that the first trip back after this is over will be fraught with tension. But, ultimately, it will be over. I’m not sure what the theatrical landscape will look like when it ends, but I believe the collective urge to go to the movies will remain strong and we’ll get together again — when the time is right.

A postscript: In that piece, Matt also mentions the pre-show welcome videos produced by various theater chains. Here’s the one that fills me with nostalgia, since it announced most of the movies I saw as a kid, then played before every movie when I worked at a theater.

A second, related postscript: My family and I are moving to a new house (if we can sell our old condo), and it’s probably not a coincidence that I keep thinking about buying a projector to show movies in the backyard, because who knows if we’ll get to watch them in theaters this summer. Does anyone have any tips?

Okay, stuff to read:

• If you’re enjoying The Last Dance on ESPN, this Vulture piece contains some choice nuggets about some of the archival footage used, and also speaks to the wonders of shooting on film.

• Also at Vulture: David Edelstein talks to a quarantined Paul Schrader.

• And Mark Harris delivers a long, troubled analysis of Woody Allen’s new autobiography.

• For Vox, Alissa Wilkinson considered the implications of Donald Trump’s interest in Mutiny on the Bounty.

• For Uproxx, Keith Phipps considered the 10th anniversary of The Human Centipede.

• Also for Uproxx, Keith Phipps took a deep dive into a perfect episode of Bob’s Burgers.

• And, in a related profile, for Mel Keith talked to Eugene Mirman about the new documentary It Started as a Joke (which he recently recommended on the show).

• For Polygon, Siddhant Adlakha wrote about the dubious results of the ambitious Dau.

• For Vox, Patrick Sisson explained why Netflix’s oft-forgotten DVDs-by-mail service remains a viable, even preferable, option in the streaming era.