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Buffy Sundays! Season 5 Episode 10 First Time Reaction! (Patreon)

Published:
2024-06-30 16:55:59
Imported:
2026-08
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HEADS UP, ANGEL FANS!! - So sorry I haven't gotten the episode to you yet! I got behind because of the Book Review and other stuff. I will get you the next episode tomorrow!!

Also, Buffy fans... sorry about the long intro! Feel free to skip to around 19 minutes in for the reaction!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1EtLhCP6qZLfNj2lqolkaBVl2q_U-oV0k/view?usp=sharing

####### EPISODE SPOILER REVIEW BELOW! APPARENTLY SOME OF YOU ARE WATCHING FOR THE FIRST TIME ALONG SIDE ME, SO PLEASE DON'T READ BEYOND THIS POINT UNTIL YOU HAVE SEEN THE EPISODE YOURSELF! ######

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Ok, I feel I need help with this one... I REALLY liked the episode! It had some great dialogue and the scene with Xander near the end was excellent!

I just... really think Riley is a complete d*ck though... right?!

I think I understand what Xander is saying, but to in ANY WAY put this on Buffy REALLY bothers me! I am not sure it is what he was doing, but it DEFINITELY was what Riley was doing (..... right?)

I really look forward to reading your thoughts on this one, guys! It was an awesome episode, and showed us a whole new side of vampire society!

Oh, and great news for Joyce!! That intro music placement was BRUTAL!! HOW DARE THEY DO THAT TO US?? XD

I get a little angry at one point (you can probably guess the scene XD), so I hope I didn't go over the top! This really was a great one!!

Hope you guys are having a great weekend!

As always, if you click the video just after this post, you may need to  download it first.  This should be fixed in a couple of hours!

Comments

Paul Komoroski

Angel is always worth the wait! And if it helps you at all, you are correct!

VeggieGamer

Oh! Btw, when I say 'I like Riley more than 40% of Buffy', I mean BUFFY FANS (as in I like more than they do, not that I like him more than the fans.. I'll shut up now)!! XD

Mo

Xander's speech felt entirely self-serving. He knew that Riley had doubts about Buffy's feelings so if he wanted them to work things out he should've told her already and this might've been avoided entirely. Xander likes big gestures like Buffy running after Riley to stop him instead of having a discussion before things went this far -- and maybe they would've split anyway, but it wouldn't have ended this badly. I find Riley's behavior hard to stomach so I'm not defending it in any way, but I think we've been shown how insecure and unneeded he's been feeling, so it makes sense in that context that he would end up crashing and burning like this. I suspect even if he wanted to split with Buffy he wouldn't have been able to considering everything she's going through. But this isn't any better --probably worse, ultimately.

Dipper

No one's at their best this episode, and it is very controversial for that reason because we all tend to focus more on who we think got it wrong the most and we don't start from the fundamental place that EVERYONE in the situation - Buffy, Riley, Spike, Xander and the Vampires - got it completely wrong. Still love Xander's speech to Anya at the end. It's nice that he at least took the lesson of Buffy and Riley's failure to heart and opened up more communication in his own relationship.

CeNedra

You're not alone, I always liked Riley, I just never thought they'd be together for long 😔

Sam-I-Am

I think Riley was out of line in how he went about dealing with things. He needed to do a way better job of communicating his insecurities and needs with Buffy. But I don’t think he is completely wrong and I think Buffy does own some of the blame for this relationship going south. I think Buffy did take him for granted. She told Angel she loved Riley, but she never told Riley that and I don’t really think she ever showed him that either. Probably an unpopular opinion, I know a lot of Buffy fans don’t like Riley (I will say I liked him a lot more in season 4 and felt like the writers didn’t really know what to do with him in season 5). To be fair to Buffy, she is juggling a hell of a lot with Dawn, Joyce, and Glory. Unfortunately I think that just made things even more difficult for Riley. In a way, I think he was stuck in between a rock and a hard place. As much as he needed to have an honest conversation with her about his insecurities, he probably didn’t want to pile on to everything she was already dealing with. It’s just sad because they had potential, but clearly were not going to last in the long run. No worries about the Angel delay…always worth the wait!

Temujin

I completely understand Riley's POV. He has given up everything for Buffy. His career, his beliefs, his sense of purpose. He has focused on her to replace all of that rightly or wrongly. So when he felt her pulling away of course he spiraled into stupid unthinking behavior to cope. Rejoining the army is actually his most healthy choice at this point. Buffy does need to stop holding back in a relationship if she ever wants a good and long lasting one.

RavenLord

There is no set time to mourn, no special time to end grief, and no right or wrong way to get through it. I lost my mother 5 years ago to a heart attack; she delayed medical attention and pretended nothing was wrong until it was too late to repair the damage. Five years and I *still* find the Joyce storyline emotionally wrenching. I relate to the emotional aspect of Buffy facing the possibility of losing her mother. You are not alone in finding it mentally taxing, and a break is completely valid.

RavenLord

I liked Riley quite well in Season 4 and hoped he would be a stable, grounding influence for Buffy to counter her turbulent life. But sadly, no. At this point in Season 5, I'm over him and don't care that he left. I find this particular story arc to be icky and uncomfortable in a way that isn't necessary. I don't hate him even at this point; I just don't care about him, and somehow, that's worse. It's like the writers couldn't even make him interesting enough to care about, and as Sam-I-Am pointedly said and I agree, it's like the writers didn't know what to do with his character. I hate that they made Buffy fun after him like some kind of desperate, cheeseball, faux-romantic damsel, but I AM relieved that unlike a sappy rom-com, it didn't actually work. Xander was so far out of line, it seemed almost out of character for him...almost. But then, we can also look at it like this: We the audience are seeing the ENTIRE picture and the POV of every character. Xander is seeing only his own POV, which is limited in scope and exposure to a relationship between two other people. So he stumbled here. In regards to the ending of the relationship, while I wouldn't call Bluffy blameless, she contributed very little to the collapse, because she is *literally* going through a traumatic, frightening experience while having to stay strong and solid for Dawn's sake. Prior to her mother getting sick, everything we have seen onscreen with Buffy, she has been there for Riley; she looked out for him, went out of her way to get him healthy, was physically present, reassured him when his insecurities flared, was physically affectionate....what the fuck else did he WANT??? She didn't say, "I love you," verbally, and she has a spiritual calling that takes a lot of her time and energy, which he knows quite well. But neither of those things means that she *didn't* love him or wasn't "present enough" for him. Riley's own insecurities and projected fears destroyed their relationship, and I really find him rather emotionally manipulative: "If you don't love me exactly how I think you should, then I'm leaving forever" (paraphrasing) and trying to put the majority of the blame on her already weighted shoulders. Yeah, Riley can piss right the hell off to the jungle and good riddance, LOL.

Giorgia M

Okay so I’m trying to put my thoughts together on this episode and I’m struggling. I’ve always had confusing feelings about it and not been able to quite articulate what I find off with this one. Okay so, I agree with you, Riley makes me very mad and he is in the wrong. I’m not saying there aren’t relationship issues that both Buffy and Riley’s behaviour or issues has contributed to. But Buffy’s faults are more passive traits than wrongful actions, unlike Riley. I understand he feels trapped in his pain and doesn’t want to bring it up because of Buffy’s current situation, that’s hard yeah but his actions are so disproportionate to that perceived neglect by Buffy that it’s incredibly annoying. How he approaches her, after getting caught cheating essentially, is so irritating but I can look past most of it because he’s acting irrationally and desperate for Buffy to react to him, be emotional, give him the attention he needs so he’s being provocative. I wonder if that’s him thinking of what Dawn said about Buffy being constantly emotional with Angel, like it was the end of the world. Maybe he’s looking for that kind of emotion from her. I don’t know. She’s older than she was with Angel, she’s grown and first love is dramatic, it’s good to move on from that. It shouldn’t be life or death constantly. My issue is also that Riley could have spoken to Buffy a number of times not only this season but previously since these issues with inadequacy, insecurity and Angel have been going on for so long. Dracula biting her was the first episode and he was still holding onto that as part of his rationale for getting bitten. Buffy’s mum hasn’t been sick this whole season? You should’ve spoken to your girlfriend about how you felt. From Buffy’s perspective this season, things are fine with Riley, your sister is the key, Glory beats the shit out of you, your mum gets sick and then suddenly Riley is getting sucked on by random vampires and now leaving town? It leaves her kind of blindsided and didn’t need to go this far. I don’t know exactly how Buffy feels about Riley, we’ve never seen her say she loves him but I think she’s shown that. She broke into the initiative to get him. I think maybe she is just scared about opening up all the way. I don’t know. There’s never been a conversation where it’s really been discussed? We really needed that between them before this but I think the writers just wanted to get him off the show. I think they were trying to show Buffy taking him for granted in this episode by saying, “I can see him anytime” but tbh I think that’s the reality of a longer term relationship, when things like family sickness come along, you’ll see your partner anytime around that more pressing matter. Your partner should be able to account for that. I don’t think that’s taking advantage of him always being there. It also feels kind of hodge podge writing in the sense that I want to be moved by what Xander is saying but I’m just not. The show is trying to tell me that Riley kind of cheated on Buffy while her mum was sick because he wasn’t getting what he needs emotionally and she has to run after him? That’s romantic? Or at least that’s what the show is saying is good or should happen? Buffy is being too harsh on him? What? I’m not rooting for this nonsense at all and I hate how the show frames this situation. I am not a Xander hater, I actually love him and tend to defend him but it just felt so not his business, it felt like he was projecting his own feelings onto it and it just felt off. I get the sentiment that once Buffy’s anger and hurt subsides she might regret not trying to make it work with Riley, get closure even and it’ll be too late, because he’ll be gone and Xander is trying to wake her up to that. But still something isn’t landing with how the situation is constructed, how the dialogue presents it or how the characters are acting. Something is so off to me. Either way I think the writing has been on the wall with Riley for a long time and it’s never been properly addressed. They both have their issues and Riley has been deeply insecure about their relationship for a long time. That doesn’t justify his actions though. I am still annoyed with him and tbh, glad he’s gone because I’m sick of time being dedicated to him getting chewed on.

Lime Pie

I only recently found your patreon after youtube recommended me one of your reactions and I wish I found you sooner because your reactions are awesome! Anyway, you demanded a review of the episode from everyone and I am happy to oblige. I really like this episode (which I believe is an unpopular opinion). I think my favorite part is Buffy running after Riley, particularly the score that plays over it. It reminds me of the iconic running in the rain scene from the 1998 film "Great Expectations" but with a tragic twist to it and the music matches it perfectly. I also really like the cold open. It's frustrating that it makes us wait through the intro to find out how the surgery went, but it cleverly puts us in the shoes of the characters, which is something I always appreciate. Riley and Xander infuriate a large part of the fandom this episode, but they don't infuriate me. Besides loving and supporting Buffy, I think Riley feels he has nothing to offer now that he is out of the Initiative and he lost his strength. So, when Buffy unfortunately needed to take care of her mom, Riley needed to feel something and letting vampires suck his blood accomplished that. He can't tell Buffy about how he feels because her mom is in the hospital and he doesn't want her worrying about him. Also, I see how it seems that Riley is blaming Buffy, but I believe him when he says that he blames himself for what happened. I do blame Riley for telling Buffy that he was fine with losing his strength in "No Place Like Home" when she was trying to make him feel important because her mom wasn't in the hospital yet, but it's difficult to think rationally when you're depressed so I think it's fair to cut him some slack. As for Xander, a lot of people say his speech to Buffy is entirely selfish because he likes Riley and wants them to stay together. However, I think Xander is genuinely trying to help Buffy understand how she feels about Riley. People also get down on Xander for not saying that Riley talked to him about Buffy because it makes Buffy undeservedly feel responsible for not realizing how Riley feels, which I do agree with, but I don't think it makes what Xander says any less true. Buffy and Riley were never going to work out because Riley needs to feel needed and Buffy can't provide that on account of who she is, so I don't think Buffy trying to work things out with Riley is the right decision. I get why Buffy would try though. Maybe Buffy only ran after Riley to leave things with him on a better note.

RavenLord

One little thing that has always bugged me about this episode because it makes no sense. Xander had no previous knowledge that Riley is leaving at *midnight* exactly, or that he was leaving at all. Yet, when he's talking to Buffy, who said Riley was going to "leave tonight" (NOT saying "midnight"), Xander tells her she has about 20 minutes left. Um....how does he know she only has 20 minutes? Tonight could be 11:00, midnight, 12:30, 1:00 a.m., etc. Yet he said specifically 20 minutes. How does he know that? Sorry, that has just always make me wrinkle my nose in confusion.

JosieMorita

And that, my dear Veggie, is why a lot of the fans dislike/hate Riley. I had a very similar reaction to THAT scene when I first watched it when it originally aired. Up to that point I hadn't had any issues with Riley (it changed after the umpteenth re-watch) but this made my blood boil. Partly because I strongly identify with Buffy on how she is handling a crisis, partly because I grew up being told it is always the woman's fault. Your man cheats on you, it must be you, you're not pretty enough or not good in bed or your cooking is horrible. And yes, I do think what he does is cheating. He knew from the beginning of the season that this relationship is not going to work for him and what did he do about it? Absolutely nothing. I also absolutly dislike how he acted when Joyce got ill. Veggie has mentioned it before, he wants to be the hero and boost his ego and he doesn't care if it sincerely helps Buffy or if it is what she needs. He wants to help her the way that fulfills his needs. And yes, he has one decent scene with Dawn. Others have stated it before and I agree that Buffy does her share in ruining the relationship. She takes him for granted and both sucked at communicating. There is a moment towards the end of the Dracula episode, where Riley brings up Angel and Buffy's face say "you'll never gonna get over it!". I think that is when she gave up on him. Although I think Xander has some valid points in his speech, he is out of line when suggesting she should just forget about the lying and cheating. His effort is too little, too late, considering he knew very early on what was going on. By the way, the evil wood louse from space has creepy as hell and a great monster of the week.

Jake M

Coincidentally I just watched Martin Landau (Dru's dad) in Columbo, playing twins - first time I've seen him in anything. There's an improvised cooking scene with him and Peter Falk which is brilliant- definitely worth watching the episode ("Double Shock") if you're a fan! They're all available on archive.org. My Chinese order has been the same since I was thirteen, mum's local stopped asking me what I wanted about sixteen years ago 😂 chicken fried rice, pot of sweet and sour sauce. "Never had noodles until I went vegetarian. That's actually true, actually"- meaning everything you've told us before is all lies? 😯

Jake M

I think this is the third time I've seen this episode, and it gets more uncomfortable each time. Riley throws all the responsibility onto Buffy and doesn't seem to take any accountability. And then gives her an ultimatum right after being discovered cheating on her! I think Buffy deserved better than running through the woods chasing after a numpty. Speaking of which, how did she know where he was leaving from? Riley never mentioned the time, or the location, he was leaving from! Must be psychic slayer powers. Xander needs to quieten down too, don't know why he's defending Riley so hard all of a sudden, although I get the impression they've had off screen conversations following the moving scene, as he seems to know what Riley's thinking and feeling. But regardless, the pair of them shouldn't be convincing Buffy into thinking this is her fault and her responsibility. A relationship takes two people to work- not one to fly off in a helicopter and the other to chase them.

Sam-I-Am

Genuinely curious, how are they trying to gaslight her? Riley only found out about the opportunity the day before. I have my issues with Xander’s character, but he never completely blamed Buffy or said she had to go after him. He literally tells her that if he’s not the guy for her to let him go. I also think calling Riley a douchebag is kinda harsh. What he did was completely idiotic and hurtful, but we’ve seen that he’s been hurting in this relationship (whether Buffy’s fault or not) for a while now. That doesn’t excuse his actions, but it’s easy to see how a relatively good guy like Riley can easily spiral and make mistakes.

Jake M

S-I-A: perhaps wrong choice of word, but Convincing her that it's her fault that he's leaving, that he doesn't make her feel needed (hence letting the vamps bite 'because they need me'), it's her behaviour that needs to change, that Riley is everything she needs, is what I meant by them gaslighting her- trying to convince her she's the one doing something wrong. In this situation, I think Riley is acting a douche. He cheats on her, and then says he's leaving for the jungle without giving her the chance to process. I liked him up until this storyline, but that doesn't mean I don't think he's a douchebag.

Sam-I-Am

Appreciate the reply. Guess I just disagree. I don’t think he’s entirely blaming her. He’s finally letting out everything he’s bottled up. I don’t think he’s putting all the blame on her, or at least I don’t think that’s his intention. I think if he wasn’t so crunched for time, he would have been able to self-reflect, take ownership for his part of the issues, and do a lot of groveling. Again agree to disagree. He screwed up royally, but that doesn’t make him a douchebag IMO.

Jake M

Riley never mentioned leaving by helicopter in the middle of the woods, either, but Buffy somehow knew exactly where to run...

Jake M

Perhaps I've misunderstood 'douchebag' , with it being an American term, but I always thought it meant a shameful, rude, unthinking person- so cheating would be douchebag behaviour. Would 'prick' be a better word? Numpty? XD

Alicia P

As soon as Riley was feeling there was an imbalance in the relationship, he should have spoken to Buffy about it and expressed his feelings. Those feelings are totally valid and I do think she held back a bit with him. She had her reasons and they could have discussed and tried to work through those. But instead he held it in, tried to overcome it on his own by becoming "dark" Riley, let Spike exploit his insecurities, and all the time resentment built up. And when Joyce got really sick, of course that is not the time for Riley to make it about him. Buffy *should* be able to take her partner for granted during a time like that. That is one of the most distressing and uncertain things Buffy will ever go through, and she should also be worrying about Riley pulling stupid stunts behind her back? She can not control how she is processing her mother's illness and she needs grace and understanding, not "Why won't you open up to me?" If he stayed patient and trusted her, and had the conversation with her at an appropriate juncture, then maybe she would have.

Sam-I-Am

No you haven’t misunderstood. Can’t speak for everyone, but amongst my peers you’re more likely to hear a guy who does something stupid being called a jerk or an asshole. Douchebag to me just comes across a tad harsher. But you’re free to call him whatever you want and you’re free to believe he’s a douchebag. Wasn’t trying to correct or police your language, I apologize if it came across like that. We can agree to disagree 😊 I also don’t personally consider his action to be cheating. I think what he was doing was stupid, reckless, and a betrayal. I can certainly see the cheating metaphor there, but I also think there’s a self-harm metaphor there too

Eric Hunter

Is Riley justified in giving Buffy an ultimatum? No, but that was forced on him by the Army. The Ruffy 'ship has been plagued with communication problems since Hush. Buffy told Angel she loved Riley in Sanctuary, but she NEVER says it to Riley. Riley finds out that Joyce is in the hospital from Spike. Here Riley finds out that Buffy has been crying about her Mom's illness, but she never talked to him about her concerns, and never cried on his shoulder. So, Riley feels as though Buffy is using him for sex, rather than loving him, and needing him in her life. Is going to a Vamp-whorehouse the way to handle this? Clearly not, but it does make him feel needed.

Delia P

I think saying he gave up his career for her is wrong. He gave up his career because he found out it wasn’t what he thought it was or had signed up for. He thought they were doing good things like protecting people but then they tried to kill Buffy, lied to him, tried to manipulate him, built monsters and gave it some control over him, constantly drugged him without his consent or knowledge - I think that would have had more to do with his leaving and staying out of the Initiative than anything else.

Delia P

I think Riley was self sabotaging the relationship. I think he wanted it over but couldn’t walk away for whatever reason. He had plenty of time to talk about his feelings about their relationship but wouldn’t, and it’s not because he didn’t want to pile on Buffy when her mum was sick because it had been going on way before her first symptoms. I think he’s pitiful, he’s not the strongest in the relationship so he falls apart, it’s disgusting. He keeps comparing their relationship to what he thinks/hears her and Angel’s was, which is stupid on many levels. Riley and Angel aren’t the same person, so Buffy’s relationship with them isn’t going to be the same just on that reason alone, not to mention she’s older and more experienced now and yes giving how bad those past experiences were she’s a bit more reserved, that’s normal. Her relationship with Riley should be less dramatic because it’s not life and death all the time and he’s not her first love. I think Riley’s expectations of a girlfriend are weird he seems to want a cross between movie love that’s all fireworks and would die to be together kind of passion and some 50s stepfordwife were he’s everything, and she can’t do anything without him. I think the military is the best place for him, good riddance. I think Xander was trying to help Buffy but didn’t quite get it right, she should have took the let him go part over the go get him bit.

JenM

This is my least favorite episode of season 5. I think the writing is off. Too many melodramatic speeches that don’t make sense or feel out of character. And cliches that come out of nowhere. Racing to the helicopter with swelling music only to have it take off just as she arrives. Really?? Feels like a soap opera, and not the clever handling of relationship drama we’ve come to expect from BTVS. If the show wanted to write Riley out, it just feels like it could have been handled better, and to me is the one weakness in the otherwise excellent season 5.

Emily Kearns

“He can go do one” is a perfect summary of how I feel about Riley at this point. I consider what he did to be cheating and he should have been groveling for forgiveness instead of gaslighting Buffy and forcing her into an ultimatum. It seems like he did that to avoid accountability or scrutiny for his own actions. And the absolute nerve of Xander to give that little speech and blame Riley’s behavior on her! Riley and Xander had me heated this episode and I’m glad Buffy didn’t get to his little helipad in time, she has nothing to apologize for.

Jake M

Don't apologise, I did write that comment having just watched the ep so perhaps I was a bit emotion fuelled, have edited to soften the language. I still think he's in the wrong and disapprove of his attitude, but I still like him as a character. I agree, there's definitely a self harm allegory here, but the way he says Buffy doesn't make him feel needed kind of feels to me like using her as an excuse to do it, rather than taking responsibility himself. I appreciate the explanation, thanks! Think I'll stick to calling my friends muppets, just in case XD

Sam-I-Am

I don't think he didn't fall apart because he wasn't the strongest in the relationship. In my opinion, he fell apart because he didn't feel loved, wanted, or needed in the relationship. Most of the time insecurities aren't logical or rational. To me it's clear that he let his insecurities spiral out of control and he was in a pretty vulnerable, maybe even depressed, place. I agree that he should never have compared his relationship to the one Buffy had with Angel, but it's natural and very human to compare yourself to others. I do it all the time even though I know logically that comparison is the thief of joy. And I don't think there's any indication that he wanted a 50s stepford wife. Someone like that wouldn't have even been in a relationship with Buffy in the first place, let alone admire how strong of a woman she is like Riley did.

Sam-I-Am

Just want to add that I think people in this fandom tend to forget/overlook that Riley's also going through a lot too. I mean he was essentially assaulted by Faith. His mentor betrayed him. He was being drugged. He just had his life and purpose change quite drastically in a short period of time. His actions in season 5 read to me as someone who is struggling mentally, which is why I tend to be sympathetic/defensive of him. The older I get, the more I realize how much the characters in my favorite shows, movies, and books could benefit from therapy

Ashley Evers

Riley is a hard character for me, cause I just don’t feel like he is ever given that much character. So much of his personality throughout his arc is just the insecurity. It’s there as soon as he learns who Buffy is and then it never leaves. He is insecure about Buffy being stronger and better at his job than him, and he’s insecure because she had this great love with Angel, and it just feels like that continues to be his primary motivation throughout. He’s blaming Buffy for not opening up to him, but he’s felt this way since way before the stuff with Joyce, and he’s never been really open with her about it. And no matter how many times Buffy tells him how important to her he is, he doesn’t believe her. I feel like there is a disconnect, because Riley and Xander and Spike are all saying how Buffy isn’t really in this relationship, but everything Buffy says and does seems to me like she is. She is not acting like a smitten teenager with her first love, but honestly the dynamic she had with Angel was not exactly the healthiest. Which is normal, and it’s also normal to be a little more careful with your heart as you get older. I appreciate that Riley has been struggling with this for a long time, and he did lose his whole identity when the initiative closed down, and when you can’t always make the best choices when you are in that kind of mindset. And it wasn’t his choice to dump this on Buffy at this particularly bad moment. But he easily could have said, I’m going to go on this mission and we can both have some space and time to think, and when I come back we can have this conversation and decide together if we can work this out. I just don’t know that he was ever going to really believe her. He had to know that there was no way she would be able to process everything in time to stop him from leaving. All that ultimatum did was make it so he could feel like it was her fault instead of his. I’d forgotten that Xander did this speech, honestly it makes me a bit mad at him. He saw this coming from the end of last season, he could have said something sooner. Waiting until she was super vulnerable then making her feel like she has to put up with this sh*tty behavior in order to ‘keep a great man’ is just frustrating.

Sam-I-Am

Muppets is a good one! Think I’ll take to calling my friends that too 😂

Denni Caid

I really do enjoy this episode - mostly because it's where Buffy and Riley FINALLY talk about why this isn't working. The fact is, what Riley was looking for in a relationship isn't something that works for Buffy at this point in her life. He wanted a more equal partnership, not only her taking care of him but he wanted to support her when things were hard. He was looking to give as well as take - and she not only never said that she loved him, she refused to be vulnerable with him at all, so he felt like an element of the relationship that was important to him was just... missing. So Riley spiraled, and made some very bad decisions - but it was better that he hit rock bottom and bailed than stick around in a relationship that wasn't working. As far as the ultimatum - I don't feel like he was telling her she needed to forgive him and take him back immediately or he was going to leave... it was more that he wanted to know if there was any chance she would consider forgiving him, if she was willing to keep communication open and work it through, because if there wasn't a hope they could try again, he wanted to take his opportunity to do something that mattered to him. I do like Xander's speech, because I can see that Buffy was holding back - and he flat out did say "if Riley's not the one, let him go". She didn't get to him in time, but maybe that's just fate. She wasn't meant to.

Frederique Gillespie

Hiya Veggie, I totally agree with you on Riley in this episode, although I wasn't sad to see him go. More like glad to see him go. I also disagree with your on Xander's speech. Seaon 5 Riley was a man who'd lost in place in the world and, for whatever reason, expected Buffy to give his life meaning. That was never her job. The cheating metaphor with him going to vampires for "suck jobs" and his pathetic excuse that he did it because Buffy "let" Dracula bite her (btw, there's a fan theory I love that the whole thing with Dracula was engineered by the monks as a way to get Buffy's blood so they could "make" Dawn with it) is just gross. When you edit this episode reaction for YouTube, pay attention to literally everything that comes out of Riley's mouth, from blaming Spike because that's how Buffy found out, to giving Buffy zero time to digest the massive ultimatum he lays at her feet, to blaming her for not making him feel wanted or needed in the midst of her mother's massive health scare. It is a disgusting attempt at gaslighting and at no point does Mr Psych Major ever take responsibility for his own darn actions. As for Xander. It feels like the writers realized they'd botched their characterization of season 5 Riley at the 11th hour and decided to come up with some cockamamie summary of WTH has been going on with him and they gave it to Xander, of all people, to present to Buffy. No acknowledgement of what Buffy's had to shoulder during this time. A whole lot of aggression. Yet more blaming laid at her feet for not anticipating Riley's needs when the man can't seem to handle the woman he has in front of him. And I'm not even convinced that the speech wasn't half about Xander working out his own issues with the girlfriend he constantly infantilizes but gets all pissy when someone else has the same attitude. Sorry. I know I sound irate. I am. I have been for decades now. lol I have no patience for these shenanigans. Love to Woozle, Freddie

tvshrine

I love serious Xander and he is right, other than the weird vampire fetish Riley is a great guy, those are rare. Should Riley have communicated his concerns earlier? yes. My favorite part is the fight scene with the best vampire kill scene. 3 in quick succession and then the one overhead, finished with the long spear throw. So good!

Diego Zenhäusern

I agree with most comments here that Riley was very unfairly trying to put the majority of the blame for the relationshipt failing on Buffy's shoulders (I think it's mostly his fault, though Buffy clearly isn't completely blameless either). I also think that him setting an ultimatum (because that's clearly what it was) was gross and way out of line. That said, I actually would have liked the way the entire story with Riley - and especially his and Buffy's conversation in this episode - played out, if they had changed one fundamental thing: They should have had Buffy say straight to Riley's face - without hesitation but also without beeing an a*hole about it - that if those were his true feelings, then they're relationship was over. Like: Buffy: "I guess...if that's they way you feel about all of this, then this means that this is it for us" Riley: "...Yeah...I guess you're right...😕" Because I actually really would have liked seeing on TV a depiction of two people talking about their relationship (that is falling apart) and realising: It looked pretty good on the surface, but that deep down it just wasn't meant to be because both of them couldn't get from the other what they really wanted/ needed. It would have been really nice to see two people act like grown ups and to show that not every relationship has to be either perfect or end in a complete burning mess but that you can also just realize that it didn't work out and leave it at that. But instead we now have a dumb secen of a girl blindly running after the guy who lied to her, emotionally cheated on her and then set a higly emotionally manipulativ ultimatum for her to crawl back to him (which she did by running after him). And the worst is (at least for me) that the girl didn't even really make that decision for herself, but instead got pushed into it by a second guy that realy had no clear idea of the extend and the kind of betrayal of the first guy or the deep rooted problems within the relationship. And the more I think about it, the madder I get😕😡! The only two saving graces are that Riley didn't get the satisfaction of seeing Buffy crawl back to him and that it made Xander open up and be real with Anya. And while I really really really loved the latter and the scene between Xander and Anya really made me tear up😭 I personally don't think that it was worth it😕.