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Welcome to TrueAnon Presents: The Lamest Show on Earth, a three-part mini series on the phenomenon that is Tesla Motors and the carnival barker at the center of its show: Elon Musk. We’ve often said that Jeffrey Epstein offers us a lens through which to view larger networks of power and influence and ways to ascertain how they operate and impact the world. The story of Tesla Motors offers us the same opportunity: how a nerdy dot-com gold chaser hacked the self-satisfied neoliberal green political regime and orchestrated a cacophonous symphony of thirsty social media marketeers, auto industry executives, captured and bought off media, and the bull market ride of the century. At the center of all of this is the pied piper of the redditmen, our very own epic bacon PT Barnum — Elon Musk — who rightly understands that branding really is everything and that so long as you can keep the music going the party doesn’t have to end. Now that Tesla has a gun to the head of the American economy, there’s only one question left: how long can the show go on? 

Pt 3 concludes our series with an explanation of just how Tesla manages to book profits, the rise of Elon’s media machine, the $TSLAQ movement and why you should think twice before stepping into one of these cars. Featuring: whompy wheels, regulatory arbitrage, the SEC, skinny tea, spiritual chiropractors, your dad’s 401k and decapitation. 

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Comments

Smooth Shrek

Ya they can use mine if they want password is HorribleGerbils6969!$

Smooth Shrek

It’s fun listening to this series post Twitter clusterfuck.

Smooth Shrek

Well don’t you feel silly now, in 2024, when we all know it was a very good launch and it’s a real and good product and everyone is happy

Natalie

Honestly it got farther than I ever expected it to

eduard karpoev

One thing also is because they cut budgets on quality of the radar for "Autopilot" newer Teslas are motorcyclists killing machines. They register someone on a motorcycle as super far away because the single light almost like someone who is nearsided without glasses & won't recognize they are right behind a motorcycle until they pretty much have killed the guy on it. Like everything else with Telsa they know this is a problem & keep putting out these cars that make it hazardous to even be next too.

Violet Lucca

I know I’m three years late to this but the “jerking off to the sex scenes in Witcher 3” still hits

Ruby Marshall

My aunt really is a nurse aid at a elementary school lmfao

MeltedFace

This has been a great series. I am a new listener and subscriber so I am a bit late to this but the details have been very eye opening. One of the most concerning things is that the financial success of Tesla has caused their business and operations practices to propagate to hardware companies in the Bay Area. I worked at an automotive adjacent startup for a while with a lot of Tesla alumns in leadership. They depended almost entirely on CORE vouchers for early revenue and fund raising. They also claimed features that weren't ready and pushed production too fast to post numbers. One of the early failures was a wheel coming off on the freeway due to poor manufacturing controls. Sound familiar? It really gives those of us doing honest work in machinery development a bad name. Thankfully the company failed before it could hurt anyone and I am out of the consumer products world. Are there any follow up episodes?

Lars

Not so fun listening to it post-DOGE/gov fuckery.

Eric Neilson

He just got DOGY to bail out his Cybercucks

gav

Maybe i’m just out of the loop on EVs but what the fuck is a battery swap? Like swapping the entire battery out of the car? How would swapping the 5-20k$ battery that powers the entire car be a fast way to get charged up?

Alison

I met someone recently whose job was test driving teslas for hours a day, specifically testing out the self driving system. He said he had some close calls and needed to quit because his wife was worried for his life

Jared Bauer

It was what Elon was hyping up as an idea at point. That you’d be able to drive into a Tesla dealership (or station?) and quickly be able to swap you almost dead battery for a freshly charged one and not have to wait for it to charge

Michael Rance

guys i’m listening to this four years later but it’s so good, thanks for this

Pnaut

I believe China does this with their EVs.

Jeremy Traver

Checking in post-doge. This series rocked

cmanenarwhale

tesla did end up making the restaurant, big flop

Jm

How much book could a book cook cook if a book cook could cook book

orc

YESSS autocorrected to TESLAS on my phone

Jon C

ok ty

DRS

You mofos haven’t caught me unawares this time!! I’ve listened to parts 1 and 2. I’m very clued in on what Kimbal has been up to.

Hans Zachery Syme

Y'all been killing it lately. He spied on Amber Heard, eh? There were mics in the Tesla he gave her. I'm 40% sure that's true. Thanks for the informative entertainment. That Elon track slaps.

Capulet

it's spelled 'TSLAQ' you crackheads! loving the episode tho <3

Jeremy Oliver

Can confirm: Dayton Ohio is the number 1 place to get stabbed by your cousin over fentanyl.

DRS

P.S. Oh, 💩. Two hours and 38 minutes? Damn shawty.

Matt Rämen

More fun than Kimbal’s yacht party but less fun than Kimbal’s blood moon party in the caves

A S

Sigma male is a term used to console aged virgins. Don't ruin it by using it to describe a married man with a child, even if he sucks as bad as a real Sigma.

Bobby Volcano

How is there still an hour fifty left of this episode, the red beard of podcast episodes

demisays

wondering if you all have ever considered doing an episode on john mcafee would love to understand what’s going on there better

Keith Leech

Hello Keef Wivaneff here :)

Keith Leech

1:25 onwards WHOMP WHOMP WHOMP!

j

hello from austin! i recently saw a video from a construction worker building the cybertruck factory here showing the place getting absolutely flooded after we had a few days of heavy rain. i think it's so funny that elon ultimately chose austin over tulsa, ok for this factory. thousands of factory jobs that pay merely $35k a year in a city where you can easily get a less dangerous job for the same or more pay and in a state with a huge electric grid fiasco. also the cybertruck is so ugly. anyway i'd think it'd be great if you could get a tslaq guy on and talk more about tesla and elon failures, lawsuits, etc that you all couldn't get into this episode!

Socialswine

Nah the bull cum thing also was a myth at my high school in Aus

Andrew Rassling

"Nobody ever actually flies those planes." Nobody except Andreas Lubitz! Heyoooo!

Keith Leech

You guys swear nicely.... 'knoath!

Jesse

i'm starting an online campaign which will demonstrate beyond a shadow of a doubt that Brace is 3ft.7in tall. A source has provided me with photo evidence, including one in which Brace is seen trying to reach up to the counter to get a cookie from the cookie jar and he's on his tippy toes!!! #BRCETru

John

This shit is fucking infuriating.

Angel C

F’s in the chat for Liz saying “Dante’s Infernal” (love you Liz)

Bobby Volcano

Party is still going at https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/hV6fh Yung Chomsky brought the 🔥 Amazing series, team. 2021 and USA is still PT Barnum x Captain Ahab. This narrative at the very least makes me feel good about not "making it" in this country bc who but a psycho could thrive in this environment.

Christopher Wolf

Does anyone remember the episode where Liz said something like, shake a liberal and you find a vulgar Hobbesian underneath? Reading bout jeane Kirkpatrick brought it to mind

Andrew May

Has anyone found the jalopnik video Liz mentioned?

Brendan Baker

Elon sonic doesn't have mayo bc that shit is trash! But they do have garlic aioli

Jim Prosser

Not to be a downer to Liz, but the Model Y has not only shipped (starting last fall in the US) but is projected to be Tesla's best-selling vehicle in the US and in China.

Jim Prosser

Yep, mostly the batteries - makes all Teslas quite heavy, but does have the silver lining of making for a lower center of gravity than most vehicles since they're on the bottom of the car.

Brian Long

Brace: the surge/ Red Bull thing. Absolutely parts of my middle school circles. A nationally known middle school rumor, akin to marilyn manson taking out his ribs to suck his cock.

Lara Sea

Brace you sound like Mac from always sunny with that “through god all things are possible” 🥸

McNuggie

Amazing episode, thank you guys! Xoxox

Bobby Volcano

There are several videos of Sandy Munro tearing down Model 3 but this is a good place to start: https://youtu.be/QCIo8e12sBM Liz and Brace kind of imply he's a YouTube rando but he's a guy who's owned a "how to build a car right" consulting business since the 80s so he's god-level at knowing exactly how shitty a car is designed and built.

Robert Sayre

I have a Tesla and I don't really like it, so not a Tesla defender here... but a couple things: 1) They added radar [edit: radar, not LiDAR] to them at some point after that truck accident. Mine has the newer nose design, but not radar, that happened a year or so later. Still not as advanced as Waymo etc. 2) I use autopilot, but only in stop-and-go traffic on the Bay Bridge etc. I've tried it on the freeway, but I wasn't comfortable with it. 3) They do recalls. I've gotten a few for brakes, the computer, etc. Hadn't heard about the wheel thing, maybe before my time.

Will

Moon colony bloodbath ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

HA

Liz, towards the end of the episode (a great and thought-provoking one) you predict the whole show will be over, not just for Tesla but seemingly for the whole economy. Are you thinking something along the lines of 2008-09? Worse? Seems like the market has been able to bounce back relatively quickly after a market collapse. Would this be any different?

hannah mihulka

Lmao learning not to drive so u don't have to drive newcomers home

Christopher Price

a tesla burger would a beyond burger with bacon on it

mark gordon

The concluding remarks by Liz are dark and beautifully put

Capulet

I put together a LinkTree of all of the TSLAQ sites and commonly used resources for the Q-curious: http://linktr.ee/tslaq

Robert Sayre

Oh, my bad, they added *radar* at some point after mine. I think mine is only cameras. I believe the stealth recalls thing, but they also just do normal ones (like, you get a letter in the mail for brake calipers, etc). Here's the radar flip-flopping: https://archive.is/SJY9c

Pug_luvr

This has been a great series Thank you for this

Tommy York

This is spectacular reporting. Also @yungchomsky great use of the Big Ship. ✨

Shiv

love u gang, this was favorite series since Spider Network!!

Jimothy Realname

At the very least, they don't typically roll over. They crash in other ways, but rollovers aren't apparently common

Jimothy Realname

Thank you for this information. I will be installing chaff dispensers in order to "troll" tesla drivers

Jimothy Realname

Yeah dude, she's a CIA agent. She's Brace's handler

Justlistening

Also saw about 50+ parked in Pleasanton a month ago. Was wondering what was going on with no hints until now

Chris Ryan

To me, this is the finest version of Brace that we have seen yet. Pure flaming-sword unselfconscious confidence on the jokes.

Chris Ryan

The crime rate is through the roof… the solar roof… yo I am shrieking laughing in my house. Also by far the best version of Liz, I picture her smashing the mic down into the stage like Axl Rose after shit like this

photobyjj

👏👏👏👏

Malika Nash

Well, she’s def a Girlboss (tm).

Eric The Bed Humper.

Elon is rumor to like to watch people have sex in their tesla cars.

hater

while listening to this i got cut off in traffic by a model s (unrelated but an episode on the southern baptist convention would be wack)

Mike Malloy

Brace I am really glad you turned things around, I don't think we say that enough

Vinay

Great episode, thanks for your work! 👏🏼

nucky

Really good episode. Liz, you mentioned Chamath. That guy sucks so bad. An ep about him and his stupid AI medicare advantage scam company would be really cool so everybody knows he’s a big giant asshole before he runs for CA Governer

Kasz

Me too tho

Jack

Elon is Sugma Male

Louis

Musk is Adam Sandler from uncut gems

Dan Z

I was gonna ask the question "why do investors put money into Tesla since they very likely know how totally dishonest and fabricated their whole operation is" but then a few minutes later I just thought duh they don't care they only care about the resilience of the speculative value of a stock which is their grift.

Dan Z

But I was going to ask that in the hopes that someone would give some more information on that. I definitely don't know very much about how investment speculation works

David Zhou

Perhaps the best TrueAnon production so far. Wish I could listen to 5 more of these.

Kate Baldwin

I'm good cuz I'll take advice from Liz but not Brace. So it evens out financially.

Jessica S

Totally naive question: does the stock market need to exist? I mean, there are plenty of businesses that aren’t public and do give by the customers they serve. What would happen if that never was a phenomenon? What other function(s) does it serve?

Brendan Laiddlaw

So how did Tesla all of a sudden start posting profits at the end of 2018? What changed?

Neil Raymond Clarke

Thus is a naughties version of John Delorean it's back to the fucking future

will michel

this was a great series. i am a finance genius now

Hazzy

brazy, good trax @ YC.

kyledamon96

Chartrdaily knows I'm listening to your show because I got an Instagram ad about Tesla's Q1 2021 financials. Like igaf

Henry

What a ride

J W

If there's one thing this series is missing, it's the recent fusion of Musk and the crypto movement. Would have appreciated some analysis of that.

Bobby Volcano

Yeah I wouldn't put it past Tesla to buy him off, but he also seems to be a guy who wants to see car companies succeed. The "owns and profits off Tesla stock" thing is kinda disingenuous. I personally think Elon is a pos but when I saw him selling hats to bootstrap boring company I instantly bought two. Sold one immediately for $180 and the other one three months later for $500 to some dude in Australia. People crazy.

kyledamon96

Would somebody please give me a lead on all this subtly alleged Kimbal debauchery?

kyledamon96

It's a totally speculative entity because market capitalization is tied to nothing objective but supply and demand of stock. The one purpose it serves is to allow publicly traded companies to issue shares in order to raise funds.

Matthew Garafalo

This was wild. You guys should do one on Bezos and the rise of amazon

malpertuis

Liz's pullout focus wrap up at the end of this was so good - I saw trails for a couple hours afterwords.

hater

what the fuck is wrong with you bro this is a podcast comment section?

Josh VanValkenburg

Yung Chomsky must release the Elon pilled version of the theme song

DH

Great episode but also I was expecting some kind of elaboration on the whole "Kimbal Musk being a perv" thing that Brace keeps alluding to. was it just a bit or did team trueanon actually uncover something fucked about the guy?

DH

Ok nevermind last-minute explanation coming in clutch

Danielle

I used to work for a start-up CEO who had the biggest hard-on for Musk. I’ve never been more relieved to be rid of that clown.

HATERSLAYER420

i know this is the final part of this series but i really hope you do guys more episodes on musk's other bullshit ventures. would love to hear about spacex, epic bacon flamethrowers, etc. i mean i think you guys could easily do a part 4 with the things you touched on but didnt flesh out. i need to hear more about the epstein connection! not elaborating on that seems like trueanon heresy!!! fuckin excellent series regardless! best podcast in tha world baby!!!

Aidan powell

Thank you for defending the honor of Buffalo and clarifying that it is NOT, in fact, in upstate NY.

Steven P Schiesser

Trueanon- the perfect combination of smartlyness and funnyism

nikodem dyzma

i love the way she says whatever

Richard Vandall

Being from Dayton is being glad to be mentioned, even if it's in the same breath as stab and fentanyl.

Samir Knox

The velvet underground stab you had there was GENIUS. Yung Chomsky don’t miss.

Samuel

Final 15 minutes are fucking intense

Claire Simon

Liz, Brace, I would love to teach you guys how to drive.

Vinay

1:23:06 the cars suck

Horse Badorties

The us govt. said "we want an electric car industry and here are some credits". This is our goofy idea of an industrial policy. But, it was an industrial policy for once. Are you all objecting to the existence of the industrial policy? Its actual implementation? Or, Tesla accounting?

Horse Badorties

Also... Tesla had the logs before the crash because the Tesla black box is an Internet uplink that continually sends all the car's data to Tesla. All Tesla cars do this. Some car insurance companies do this for a special "maybe" cheap policy. Or maybe it's for people with too many tickets.

Koi

Tesla ---> Enron

Jake Reynolds

exactly.. seeing the tesla charging stations in the target parking lot today was a fuckin trip. especially after having been listening to this I was holy F how is this real

gen~

this was hands down the best series you guys have done

Casey

I can’t believe David Dobrik is keeping Tesla afloat 😮

Stolzie

Here’s hoping we get a 4th episode of this

Natalie

re-listening to all these and they're all such good episodes. I'm feeling one of elon's classic scams with the cybertruck delays, he blames "chip shortages" which could be a factor but the high promises, weirdly low preorder cost, etc make me smell something Fishy™️

Steven

Can you release this to the non-patreons? I’m trying to share this series with my friends with the new Elon-Twitter-supervillain news

lol whatever

just give them ur patreon password