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hello pimple poppers my name is Hozier. I sang the song "Take me to Church", a smash hit which dominated the airwaves---and playlists---the world over. It's a song that's a little bit sad but also I do what they in the music industry call a "male Adele" which is when I sing real loud. Adelectible! is what the critics said. Just playing---but it was a huge song.

Things didn't so great for me after Take Me To Church. I became addicted to Roxycodone due to a back injury I sustained while filming the music video for Take Me To Church. I fell in with strange women. I vlogged and drank too many drinks with probiotics in them, which, far from curing my stomach problems, actually increased tenfold the difficulties I had been having with digestion. I now eat several cloves of ginger a day. I spent all my money on Apes. I put so much money into Apes. I could've bought you a beautiful wedding ring but I just bought Apes. Doesn't matter. It's called the Bored Ape Yacht Club for a reason. The reason is: The Apes all live on a boat together. My plan? Hop behind the wheel and steer that vessel to god damn CHURCH. That's right: TrueAnon is putting out my new digital single "Take Me To Church II (Ape Money)" in June!

In order to pay for my apes I am the podcasts merch store web admin. In that capacity I am announcing the release of multiple new designs of TrueAnon Product. Please click the link where it appears in this post to purchase these. There are more that are not pictured here because I figured three pictures was enough.

https://trueanon.com/

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Comments

SPENCER PIBBLES

Incredible story of perseverance from hozier

David Smith

The tote is pure fire 🔥🔥

Geneyus

Love the Gourmand shirt Ngl

Jack

Hozier, please Bring back the duck motherfucker tee

Maxiumite

Thank you Hozier ❤

Shiv

i love w this merch

Scott H Williams

Can you make a shirt that’s extra small for my tiny wife?

Shiv

I'm so mad the Crazeeee bag sold out I'm just gonna get the image inked on my arm

Natalie

That new tote is already sold out!

Natalie

I'm on my knees, yelling out to the sky "HOZIEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

Jasmine M

cafe Lorenzo no.1 red sauce joint in new york baybeee

itsjenjen

can't wait to get greasy stains all over my gourmand tote

Drawhp _Heavy

Pimple poppers? Did y'all just jack the Poundcast?

Mrgarbage

apparently that church was located on lil saint James island. :/

Alec

How can you have a gourmand shirt and not have it in triple XL

Swaguncle69

Please make the smallest shirt for his extra cool wife

TrueAnonPod

I have no idea what that is I just remembered there was a youtube lady named dr pimple popper

Drawhp _Heavy

Ah gotcha. It's a podcast by Tim and Eric editor Doug. Long story. Epic podcast btw with Boni. I'm half Filipino and my relatives are super freaked out about what's going on over there.

Sydney Pigmon

Pls made the hat guy shirt in black I’m begging

Carson Brown

I’ll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies 🙌🏻

River

hozier could be a trueanon listener reading this rn

joshkkeegan

Hope things get better for you hozier

Nikki J

tf is a clove of ginger ✋😂🤙

J

Am I having a stroke?

Colin Denney

We don't deserve such good merch!

Corey Dome

if you guys don't make more of the Crayzee Tote i'm going to video game myself

Ryan

No coindexter branding? do you hate money?

David Atkins

No one will have any clue what these are about. I must have them

Natalie

more bag pleathers

River

plssss restock the crayzee tote or anything with that design

Chris

where the fuck is the coindexter swag

GD

Please nothing else will fit her

GD

The design of the gourmand and cafe Lorenzo shirt are absolutely amazing

AbeLinkin

J’suis Le Gourmand

simon

ugh fine ill buy a cafe lorenzo shirt but i will only wear it in bed and never outside

Emma

Omg restock crazeee tote!!

CD

You guys have got to go to France, I was just there and there are so many hilarious small village grocery stores in the middle of super poor towns named "le refuge de le Gourmand" , it's where the Gourmand goes on his ski vacation to stock up on local sheep's cheese etc

kay

Is there some context here that I'm missing

Erin

More crayzee tote por favor! 🚬🫠

Jon W

Took me a while to get the Cafe Lorenzo reference. That trial feels like forever ago.

Sanders Butler

Any chance of a reprint of the Bush did 9/11 tie dye?

Seth Aronovich

Anyone saying they understand the 'Cafe Lorenzo' joke is lying.

Andrew Irwin

Hozier convinced me to buy “bush did 911” tee

Matt

Brace is a funny guy!

Kirstwb

liz 100% wrote this, not hozier

alexis contreras

need a tote restock more than i have ever needed anything in my life. more than i need air to breathe.

Wiley Michelle B

Can you guys restock the gumshoe short in small? 🙏

Natalie

@seth aronovich sir you just exposed yourself and you didn't even realize! lol it's a reference to the in-court restaurant they went to every day during the ghislane trial, when they'd give the cafe lorenzo update (chef isn't even named lorenzo)

Natalia

PLEASEEEEE I beg of u restock the Crayzee tote

Chali Pittman

Please restock the Cafe Lorenzo tee I can't believe I missed this 😩

Pearl

i went all the way to new york to visit cafe lorenzo so i could get the shirt please restock 🙏🏼🙏🏼