May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 44 (Patreon)

11/8/1100

“Kinda weird everyone’s gettin’ hitched, don't cha think?” Croissant observed while we flew the Rhodes Island VTOL. Normally, Sora was the copilot, but she and Texas were doing some wedding planning, so I took over stick duties. I’m fully qualified on a VTOL, but Croissaint and Sora don’t “make my blood pressure shoot through the roof” like I do, according to Boss. 

I shrugged and leaned back in the seat. “You and Bison have been dating for three years now. Haven’t the two of you thought about getting married?” 

“Eh, his pa still ain’t so hot on the idea, so I ain’t been pushin’ things. ‘Sides, I ain’t so ready to settle down myself and pop out a couple of kids, ya know? What about yourself? You seem pretty hot for Odda. Didn’t realize you fancied him so much. Or has this got to do with you bein’ sarkaz now?” Croissant asked, keeping her eyes on the horizon.

Below us to the right, the plains of Siracusa spread out, with mountains in the distance. To our left, the sea sparkled blue, dotted by islands. One had a plume of smoke drifting up from its top: Mount Tyrrhenian, one of the world's more active volcanoes. We’d steer well clear of it, but it was visible for miles and miles. 

“I mean, I guess I’ve always been Sarkaz, I just didn’t know it,” I said, my brow furrowing as I thought. “The same is true for all Sankta. We’re all descended from Sarkaz.”

“I don’t reckon they’d take kindly to you tellin’ them that,” Croissant drawled. “But you didn’t answer my question about why you is sweet on Odda all of a sudden.”

“I just…I don’t know, he was there for me when I needed someone. He’s a nice guy, really tries to keep a good attitude, even when he’s pissed. And, when I told him my crazy idea, he didn’t just tell me to fuck off.”

“And he’s a bad boy who broods and got that dark complexion you go after,” Croissant chuckled. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed that.”

I blushed slightly. “Yeah, well, I’ve dated worse.”

“True ‘nough. You really tryin’ to have a kid with him? I heard about what you told him. I never thought I’d hear the day that Lemuel Exusiai wanted to settle down and have kids.”

Now my face was on fire and I shook my head rapidly. “No! I’m not ready to-uh, anyway, we didn’t. Just sort of made out, talked, and, uh, got to know one another.”

Not that I hadn’t been ready to make good on my promise to sleep with Odda. Or, uh, really thought through the implications of unprotected sex, even after Sussurro’s lecture. It did sort of dawn on me when she quietly asked me if I wanted birth control later, but I get really bad nausea and headaches when I’m on the pill, so I told her no. Odda, however, had thought about it. 

“Look, I’m down to sleep with you, even ‘rawdog’ you, but are you sure that’s what you want, El?” he asked me while I was still breathing heavy from our make-out session. 

“I, yeah, I told you I did. We’re both infected now, so who cares?” I said with a shrug. 

He gave me a lopsided grin, which made my heart go a little faster. “Exu, we’ve known each other for a few years, but we haven’t exactly been close. A little casual sex is fine by me, I’ve done plenty of that in my years as a messenger, but do you want something more? Because I sort of do.”

“Honestly, haven’t thought that far ahead. I just…I’m lonely, and scared, and I don’t have Empathy anymore, and you’re hot, single, and Sarkaz, so I just…maybe this is part of how Sankta and Sarkaz can reconcile,  you know?” I admitted, saying it out loud as I thought through things. 

I thought a little more, then asked, “Why? Do you not want kids with me?”

“I am absolutely down to have kids with you,” Odda told me, and squeezed me in places that made me groan softly. “I just refuse to leave behind an orphan. I grew up an orphan, with my dad running around working merc jobs and getting himself killed. So if we have a kid…I’m going to want to take care of them. At least one of us can’t be running about as a messenger. And…and I’d want them to spend time in Kazdel. Know their roots. I guess Laterano too, if that wouldn’t get them executed or whatever.”

“Um, you’ve put a little more thought into this than me,” I admitted, pushing back from him slightly and shaking my head. “I just…I didn’t really think beyond the fact that I liked you, and, um, well, that I was kinda horny for you.”

He locked horns with me, which made me laugh, then tickled my tail, which did…interesting things. I’ve had partners with tails before, so I know for a lot of species it’s an erogenous zone, but having one myself was quite the experience. 

“OK. Then, before we do this, I need an answer, El. Is this something serious, where we’re going to have kids and build a future together, or is this just a quick fuck because you’re the hottest woman I’ve ever met, and for some reason you’re into me,” Odda told me. Then he kissed me again, which sort of scrambled my brains a bit. 

“I…I think I’ll need some time to think about that,” I admitted when we came up for air and licked the blood off my lips. Fucker had bit me! Damn, that was sexy. I so wanted to just tell him to knock me up, but…

Shit, was I ready for kids? Was my crusade going to take priority? Not that I wasn’t confident, I couldn’t still kick ass and shoot the wings off a needle fly at 100 meters while I was knocked up, but hauling a kid around…yeah, I mean, I’d want to be a good mom? Would I be a good mom? My parents were awesome, but they were a lot more patient than I am. 

“OK. Then for tonight…let’s take things slow, OK?” Odda told me. 

Then we did some things that won’t get you pregnant, but I’m pretty sure don’t count as taking things slow. I would say Odda was a gentleman, but he’s actually kind of rough and assertive when the clothes come off, and I am so down for that. He’s also just as passionate as he is angry, and oh boy, is he really fucking pissed at the world in general. I’m pretty damn mad myself at the moment, so it worked out. 

I told Croissant most of that, and she nodded at me. “Good idea to take things slow, I reckon. Bison and me talked about elopin’ and tellin’ his pa to eat shit, but he don’t want to completely torpedo that relationship, and I sorta hope the old man’ll come around on him marrying a broke bitch from the back end of beyond in Minos.”

“Does old man Pides really dislike you that much?” I asked, frowning. “He seemed pretty chill for a rich guy. A lot like Bison, actually.”

Croissant blew her bangs up with a puff of air and sighed. “I can’t rightly tell. Sometimes he acts all happy to see me, other times he tells Bison he better pick a woman of class and style ‘cause he’s gonna inherit MountainDash Logistics. I don’t know shit about runnin’ no company, I’m just a messenger girl who barely even graduated high school, ya know? Bison gots his MBA and all that. I just…I don’t fit in with that crowd, ya know?”

“And you had to go long distance with Bison spending most of his time in Siesta now,” I commiserate. 

“Yeah, makes things tough. But I love my Boo, and he loves me. Our problems can’t be worse than a Sanka hookin’ up with a Sarkaz. And don’t tell me you is a Sarkaz too. Sure, I believe you. But that don’t change how other folks think.”

“I guess. But we’ll do it, somehow,” I vowed. 

“I reckon so. And I’ll be there to help ya, sister,” Croissant said, and extended a fist to me. I bumped it, and we shared a grin. 

That made me think, though. Croissant and Bison did love one another. I saw them sacrifice so they could see one another, and they were purely best friends when they hung out. The same was true of Texas and Sora. Texas was so completely devoted to Sora it was rather sweet, while Sora had always had it bad for Texas ever since that first job we had protecting her. I’d sort of always known that, but I had thought they had decided to be friends since Sora wasn’t supposed to have lovers and Texas…well, she’s so oblivious most of the time it’s hard to tell what’s going on in her head. 

So…did I love Odda? Or was I just horny?

I was horny. But you know what? I can work with that. I don’t know how long either of us is going to be around, so why worry about it? We should just have fun while we can, and change the world for the better! 

…though I am going to have to talk to my big sis about this at some point…Lemuen…I really do hope you understand…

Entry 41: Day 85

The flight to Palermo was blessedly quiet and uneventful, even if we did have an awful lot of people with us now. In addition to the Penguin Logistics crew, we still had Ingrid and Lisa, as well as Kal’stit’s wayward daughter club of Rosmontis, Red, and now Mon3tr. We’d also picked up Lappland, who invited herself along on account of she was going to be in the wedding party. Actually, she was currently doing a fantastic job planning the wedding with Sussurro, Sora, and Ingrid. Texas and I were sharing a beer and giving our input as best we could. 

“James, what do you think of this color for tablecloths?”

“Sure thing, honey, looks great,” I told Lucia. 

“Oh! Oh, Saints and Angels, I, I am so- why are you laughing?! This is not funny, do not be laughing! This is a very serious matter!” 

“Sus, I would have about the same amount of input on the color of tablecloths if I could see as I do right now.”

“Idioto,” Sussurro muttered, and I could see the flush from originium rushing to her cheeks as she smacked my arm. Very lightly. 

Texas was able to contribute a great deal more with her encyclopedic knowledge of all things Siracusian, but she really didn’t seem to give much of a damn beyond “I will be wearing a traditional wedding dress and we will be getting married in a traditional Lateran church with a traditional wedding party.” Which was really hilarious because, well, not only was she marrying a woman, but I was pretty sure most people would have a conniption about her marrying a sarkaz more than a lesbian.

“Out of curiosity, what is the Lateran church’s views on gay weddings?” I whispered to Texas. 

“Outlawed until 1077. Since 1086, they recognize domestic partnerships, but not weddings. Stupid rule. Not Lateran in faith. But, it’s important to me to have a proper wedding, and a Lateran wedding is proper. Will need to find an officiant.” 

“Why not ask Boss to do it?” Sora proposed. 

Texas’s brow furrowed. “He is not a priest.”

“Technically, I’m an ordained priest of at least like…five religions, and a god in a few more. Kinda forget which ones, and a few of ‘em are extinct and stuff, but you want a religious man, I’m your bird,” Emperor commented.

That prompted a few more moments of pondering from Texas, then she nodded. “That is acceptable.”

For my part, I was concerned about other things. Namely, the fact that I was a blind, crippled, infected Charlie Brown From Outta Town. Why would Sussurro’s parents want to have anything to do with me at all? Let alone give me permission to marry their daughter. It was nice to plan the wedding and all…but would they even come? I knew Lucia’s family was important to her, but she was reluctant to talk about or even mention them. They’d hurt her badly, and I didn’t want a repeat of that. 

Then they talked about doilies and getting their hair done and I sort of spaced out for a while. It’s really easy to do that now. Between all the painkillers I’m on, and the brain damage, and the brain damage, and the- eh, who’s going to read my lame jokes anyway? Well, let’s just say when you’re on as much morphine as I am, you can drift off pretty easily. 

I found myself dreaming about orginium and oripathy. I floated in a solution of originium and clear fluid, watching the crystals multiply in fractal patterns. It was like…I could hear the crystals. Feel them. What was originium, anyway? I’d grown used to thinking of it in the medical sense: they were super cancer rocks that spread throughout the body, taking organic tissue and transforming it into more originium. 

But why? I remembered some of what Emperor had said, about it being used to evolve things. I saw originium taking a fox, and transforming it into a vulpo. A cutie, since it was Sussurro. But how? I dove deeper, and I saw nanomachines, son! 

Well, OK, not quite. But I saw the originium as…alive? More like a virus, I guess, and less like a cancer. It wasn’t quite a living organism, but it did replicate. It also contained power. Like, a ton of power. A very small amount of originium could power Rhodes Island, which was the size of like, two or three aircraft carriers.  Granted, I didn’t know exactly how much it took, but I did see them fuel up this VTOL. They put in a few rods of originium and called it a day. So Rhodes Island probably runs on just a few thousand pounds of the stuff.

And, it fueled my arts. But it wasn’t fuel. At least, that wasn’t its original purpose. What was that purpose? To upload people to the simulated universe, right? Why? Why did people need to be connected to the Simulated Universe?

So that you may be preserved, a voice said, and violet eyes and dark hair coalesced out of the haze of originium I floated in. 

 It is such a shame when information is lost, but especially language, the voice said as a woman’s body formed next to me, putting a hand on the head of Lucia, who smiled with vacant eyes as her body slowly turned to crystal. And are not each organism’s unique methods of communication a new language? Thus, Originium. The universal language, that allows all to communicate, by establishing a common baseline. And, when you are absorbed by the originium, you too will be a part of my language, Doctor James McCoy.

I suddenly screamed as I realized what this woman was, as Lucia was swallowed up by the originium. I tried to stop it, tried to prevent it, but I simply absorbed the crystallized Lucia into myself. 

See? Isn’t this better? Priestess crooned, cupping my face as my own body began to fully turn to dark crystals. You will always be one once you are converted into language. Never forgotten, always persisting, no matter what happens. Originium will outsurvive the death of this universe, and into the next one. It is the eternal cypher, the endlessly replicating and surviving language that no amount of noise can destroy. Give yourself up to the originium, James McCoy. And you will know peace and comfort, eternal.

No! Stop! I refuse! This is a disease! This is not how it was meant to be! I tried to shout, but as it is in dreams, no sound passed my lips, just bubbles in the liquid, and more crystals flowed in, coating my mouth and stomach. 

Priestess laughed and shook her head gently, hair swaying in the liquid. From a certain point of view, life is a disease. I seek not to cure life, only to record it, and to allow it to transcend itself into the purest expression of life: Language. For in language, life found a way to propagate itself beyond organic constraints. One must merely ensure that this language and its information lasts forever. And I have. Simply give yourself up to the tranquility of orginium, and you and those you love will be together eternally. 

“NO!”

I screamed, and this time, a bloodcurdling roar escaped my lips as I jerked and thrashed in the seat restraints. 

“James!? James, what is wrong?!” Lucia was there in an instant, and her gentle hand on my forehead calmed me down immensely. 

“I…a nightmare,” I gasped, breathing hard. I tried to look around, but obviously, I could only see the people in the hold who were infected, and really, only Lucia and Mon3tr well. 

“Talk of marriage is that disturbing to you?” Ingrid teased, but I shook my head. 

“No…no, I dreamed of…or Oripathy. And…and of Priestess.”

Silence followed, but it was Emperor who broke it. “Alright. You speak slowly and clearly now, Dr. McCoy. And you tell us exactly what you heard. If you’re talking about who I think you are, you need to act like what happened wasn’t a dream.” 

“Uh, what happened to your accent?” I asked nervously. Because Emperor usually sounds like…well, like he’s black. I mean, he’s a penguin, so he is black, but I really mean African American. Which is dumb, because there is no Africa or America here. And he still sounded, well, like a black guy, only instead of someone from the hood…he sounded like a well educated doctor. 

“Focus, McCoy! What did you see?” Emperor growled. 

I recounted everything I could remember, down to the feel of floating and seeing the shapes in originium, and Lucia evolving from a fox. And, well, seeing Priestess form out of Originium. 

“I know it sounds crazy,” I finished, “But…it didn’t feel like a normal dream.”

“Texas, what was that you said about PRTS being on the fritz?” Emperor asked quietly. 

“Data stream has been interrupted,” Texas stated. “Odd messages popping up. We’ve disabled it for now.”

“I see. Now, Dr. McCoy, I know you have your ‘weird alien knowledge’ and that it’s classified, but tell me this: is Priestess in Rhodes Island? Because before it was a landship, it was something else. And I think I know what.”

“Uh, I think she is on Rhodes Island, in a sarcophagus,” I admitted. “But…she was asleep, so how…”

“Project Originium was too classified for me to ever learn much about it, aside from the fact that it was a Precursor Project,” Emperor said, sounding frustrated. “And trust me: I tried. What references I did find described music, songs, and language, so of course, I wanted to find the ultimate musical repository. No dice though, despite more than a thousand years of searching. But I did learn about the Rhodes Island. When it was a spaceship.”

“Wait, hold on, Rhodes Island was a spaceship!? But, how’s that possible?” Sora asked, sounding flabbergasted. “I remember when it was built in Rim Billington when I was a kid, sometime around 1085!”

“Not built. Dug up,” Lucia said, shaking her head. “The landship was excavated. By the Director. I don’t know all the details, but I do know from people like Matra and Raidian who were there from the beginning that the Landship was gifted to Babel by Kal’tsit.”

“Haha! Now that is amusing! And how would a great big thing like a landship fly in the sky, hmmm?” Lappland demanded. She’s been talking quietly with Rosmontis and Red, of all things, and about what dresses would flatter them. Ingrid had been giving her input as well, and the two of them had been remarkably civil. By which I mean they hadn’t tired to kill one another yet. 

“If it’s constructed in space, then gravity isn’t an issue, actually,” I said, and I could see Lappland’s face lock onto mine, she’s infected enough for that to be possible. “The Precursors were a civilization on the scale where Dyson Spheres were practical: so building something like Rhodes Island would have been child’s play for them. Heck, it probably would have been considered a small, unimportant research vessel without any of their really cool toys.” 

“Doctor McCoy is right,” Emperor said, which made Lappland’s head snap towards him. “I’ve seen things…things you wouldn’t believe. Entire solar systems turned into research labs. Planets that were dedicated to one person's endless pleasure. Endless resources. And then…they were gone. They’re light on the details of the war between the Observers and the Precursors…but it had them running scared. Down to the dregs. This planet, which they called Kephera-IV originally, was one of their last holdouts. There might be more running around out there in the stars, but if there is…well, we’d be bugs to them.”

“I thought you said you were not created by the Precursors,” Lucia pointed out.

“And I wasn’t. I got this from old databases and conversations with the Old Witch, don’t glare at me, Mon3tr, I remember when she looked like you used to, and was half mindless, as well as some other characters. Remember, I’ve been around a long while. I don’t have the whole picture. But I have enough to know that you having dreams of the Priestess…that’s bad news of the worst kind.”

We all sat in silence for a few moments, then a voice that nearly made me wet my pants growled, So what do we do about it, Bird? 

“What do ‘we’ do?” Emperor growled, and his ghetto accent began to slip back in. “What you do, boy, is get off your furry tails, stop playin’ your damn games, and get with the fucking program! Why do you think I came to talk to you ass clowns?! Because the whole damn world is about to end, because the Bitch is Back! You and I are both old enough to know what kinda shit went down in the bad old days when the Precursors were still fuckin’ around with shit! Does anyone here even remember Akaad!? Because they got uppity, and then the Precursors fuckin’ deleted them! It’s why I had to snoop around and be cautious, because they were still fighting any Teekaz that stuck their heads up, and smiting any Feramut that got too active, or even just paving over a civilization that got too close to their secrets!” 

Emperor was puffing by the end of it, then he sighed. “Apologies, Mrs. Ingrid. But little Miss Lisa gonna have to learn that sometimes, foul language is called for. And it is when idiots like Zaaro and his ilk need to wake the fuck up! I been with the program for a while now! Why the fuck do you think I founded a Messenger service!? It wasn’t for shits and giggles! Information, you fuzzy fucker, information! Why do you think I tutored Otto Dietmar Gustav von Urtica!? Because I knew this day would come, and folks had to be ready. Yeah, I produce music now! Because music is one way to instill a racial and cultural awareness that goes bone deep!” 

“I knew your lyrics were deep! Holy shit, does that mean-” Odda began, but then he coughed. “Uh, sorry. Continue.”

“Nah, kid, you right. I did write my lyrics about sticking it to the man and fighting on in the face of adversity because you people needed to be ready. And I wrote about hot chicks and cars, because fuck, man, who doesn’t love hot chicks and cars? Gotta get that sugar with the medicine.”

I will discuss this with the pack, Zaaro said. 

Lappland laughed again. “What my little puppy means is that the Signori dei Lupi will help you in your plan, Emperor. I may wish to destroy Siracusa, but to do that, there has to be a Siracusa to destroy, no? Now! Does dearest Celenia need to elope, or do we have time for her perfect fairy tale wedding?”

“I don’t know. But I do know this: use the time ya got. I’ll be sending a message to the Old Witch. Let her know what’s happened. Gonna have to be sly about it. This won’t wait until after the wedding, but I got contacts in Palermo we can use instead of My Girls, so the wedding is on. That means you better get a move on, Bones. Because Fiesty and Fluffy and you don’t got a lot of time to play with.”

“That is Doctor Fiesty and Fluffy to you,” Lucia sniffed, but she was smiling and her tail was wagging. 

I swallowed, but I took Lucia’s hand. Whatever came…we’d face it together. We’d do it whether we were married or not…but dammit, I guess a part of me wanted to leave something behind. Even if it was just a ring on her finger. Because Priestess or not…I probably wasn’t going to last much longer.