May I Enjoy My Life: Chapter 48 (Patreon)

13/8/1100

The day of Texas and Sora’s wedding dawned cloudy. There was a bit of rain in the morning, leaving puddles everywhere, and though the weather had been sunny, the day stayed mostly overcast with sporadic showers. I’d call it a typical Siracusian day, and Texas remarked that it felt right to have the pitter-patter of the rain on the roof. 

We were all dressed up in our very best. The dresses for the ladies were vermillion, with a traditional bridesmaid’s dress in the Siracusian style, with narrow shoulder straps, a V-neck to show the other’s cleavage, and skirts that just barely swept the floor. 

I tried not to be too upset that mine was about the same size as Murmura and Lisa’s. I did have some womanly pride, mostly my fluffy tail, which I agonized over for hours. I didn’t want to outshine the brides, but I also didn’t want anyone mistaking me for a child. 

My parents had put Murmura out of the house at the appointed time and closed and locked the door. Murmura was unusually subdued when Ingrid and I picked her up, with Lisa doing most of the talking for a change. After a few minutes of walking, she finally asked me quietly, “If I get infected, can I come live with you and James, Cia? I don’t think mamma and papa would love me anymore.”

I felt horrified, and Ingrid let out a low groan. I hastily knelt and hugged Murmura, who was sniffling and trying hard not to cry. “No matter what happens, I will always love you, Murmura.” I tried to tell her that our mother and father would always love her too…but I couldn’t. She knew as well as I did that they most certainly didn’t love me anymore. 

“It’s OK, Mura. You can always come and live with me and mamma-san at Rhodes Island,” Lisa said, giving Murmura a hug as well.

That caused the waterworks to fully break, and after a good cry and some hot chocolate at a cafe, Murmura felt much better, and we went to the small chapel in the Quatro Tribunali. It was set on a clifftop that overlooked the sea, two hundred meters below, and was surrounded by a small vineyard that produced sweet grapes for eating. Texas had been very particular about that detail, though I’m not sure why. Most Siracusan grapes are sour and meant for the winepress. 

Murmura was eager to get changed into her dress and would be acting as the Ring Bearer. We were a bit short on boys in general in the wedding party, and James was too old, and Emperor was officiating. Bison had flown over from Siesta at great expense to be there, but he declined being the ringbearer in favor of my sister, to her delight. He might be the youngest of the Penguin Logistics bunch, but he’s a tall, strong Forte who would look a little silly as a ringbearer. 

The chapel itself was quarried white marble, hauled across many miles at great expense instead of the usual sandy tufo stone. There were ivy-covered statues of Lateran Saints, most of them related to love and marriage, such as Saint Ruthia of the Hidden Grotto, depicted in pieta with her dying lover Boza. 

Hopefully, Texas and Sora have a happier end in store. Though I couldn’t help but see myself cradling James. I shuddered and turned away. This was supposed to be a happy day. 

And, really, it was. There were wonderful flowers that Texas had ordered, the bouquet full of the language of flowers. At the center were red roses and heliotropes for enduring and steadfast love, surrounded by carnations, which could be for a mother’s love, but in this case, love between women, as they were interspersed with yellow lilies. The outside was woven of thyme, speedwell, oakleaves, and myrtle, which meant courage, a woman’s fidelity, strength, and good luck in marriage. Whoever had done it had to be a vulpo who understood Texas and Sora well, which made me wonder what contacts they had in the city.

My suspicions were confirmed when I met the florist, who turned out to be a customer of theirs: a middle-aged vulpo woman named Margaretta Fiorcoda, who had contracted Penguin Logistics more than once to deliver flowers in Lungmen, and had met Sora and Texas in person more than once. 

James was terribly handsome in his custom-tailored suit, though it was the same he’d gotten at Rhodes Island, so I had seen him in it before. The tailor had done a few adjustments to account for the weight he had lost. I felt wounded about that on more than one level: First, his health was clearly deteriorating, and he wasn’t eating enough. And second, it was my cooking he wasn’t eating enough of. I’d have to try to fatten him up a little. 

He and I were both on Texas’ side, along with Exusiai, Odda, Ingrid, and Lappland. On Sora’s side were Croissant, Bison, Mon3tr, Red, and Rosmontis. It was, all in all, a very small affair, but one full of love and happiness. There was a liberi photographer who took wonderful pictures of the whole wedding party. Texas and Sora were adorable, blushing and holding one another’s hands at every opportunity. Their wedding dresses suited them both quite well, with Texas’ sleek modern design, and Sora’s frilly and girlish traditional Kazdelian dress complementing each other. 

Of course, James and I got pictures taken of us as well. He did his best to follow the directions and took a lot more photos than was probably comfortable for him. Still, he smiled and held me, or posed with Texas, a big grin on his face as he made muscles that had her rolling her eyes, though she did seem amused. Then they took an absolutely hilarious one where Texas picked James up in a bridal carry, him squawking in protest and Sora spitting her drink out of her nose in the background she was laughing so hard. I managed to look outraged as well, though my face was more red from laughter as James was batting his eyes with his hands clasped like what he called “a Dizzeni princess.” 

Then it was time for the ceremony. Emperor was dressed in a tuxedo of his own. He had on a little fez with a gold tassel, along with a strange symbol that looked like interlocking knots. When we asked him what it meant, he just said, “Means something to me. Everyone else that it would is dead.”

Lisa came first, scattering flowers as Ingrid gasped and cooed, snapping dozens of pictures. “Oh, I wish my husband could be here! He would be so proud! Isn’t she adorable?”

Then came Murmura, who did her very best to be the epitome of sober gravitas, though her tail was wagging so hard she nearly fell over. 

Lappland played the organ with the traditional wedding march for Texas and Sora as they walked down the aisle with Emperor waddling along between them, flippers in each of their hands. 

“You both my girls, so I’m walkin' ya BOTH down the aisle since ya ain’t got nobody else,” he had told them gruffly.

“I’d like that,” Texas had said, while Sora had teared up and hugged Emperor fiercely. 

“Thanks, boss. I wish my own dad could be here, but I’m glad I have someone like you.”

Emperor seemed a bit embarrassed by that, coughing before he managed in a choked-up voice, “Yeah, well, if an old bird like me had chicks…I’d be proud to call you to my Girls. Am, actually. Now come on, let’s boogie.”

Croissant was bawling into Bison’s shoulders, and James leaned over to me and whispered, “He asked me about my proposal this morning, actually. I think he’s going to pop the question to Croissant before long.”

“Wow, I never thought I’d see the day all the Penguin Logistics girls settled down. They have a bit of a reputation for wildness,” I whispered back. 

“Yeah, I guess it is a bit strange. It’s nice to see our friends be happy, though.” He chuckled. “Friends. Never thought I’d say that about Texas, and especially Lappland, but I guess it’s true.”

Lappland brought the organ music to a close and turned around, her flock of wolves taking up the back rows in the chapel. Emperor hopped up on a stool we’d brought for the purpose, and cleared his throat.

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of friends, no, more than friends, but family, to witness the wedding of Celenia Texas, and Aliza Springs. Two of the smartest, kindest, and most talented women I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing. And take it from an old fart like me: that’s sayin’ somethin’.” 

Emperor looked around the room, and took off his shades, sticking them in his pocket. “Marriage means a lot of things to a lot of people. But to me, what it represents is an oath. An undying one, of love and fidelity to the one you love, for the rest of your life. For some of us here on Terra, that ain’t so long. For others…it’s a real long time indeed. Let us hope and pray that for Celenia and Aliza, it’s a good long while.

“So, I hope you will all bear witness to this oath, to this union of two bright souls, into one. Texas and Sora, well, they’re special to me, and to each of you here. So let’s be glad we can share this day together. 

“And to commemorate this, I wrote somethin’. To be performed by Lemuel. Come on up, Apple Pie.” 

Exusiai hurried up to the front, smiled at Texas and Sora, then unfolded a piece of paper and cleared her throat. 

“Twas beauty that tamed the beast,

Her charm and grace did warrior tame

And silent courage that fear ceased

Bringing maidens' hearts to kindled flame

Lonely wolf and charming changeling 

Two flowers bloom in neon lights

Their love took root in endangering

Kept in darkness, passionate nights

When honor called, fair beast responded

And her people's pleas beauty heeded

Noble purpose two hearts were bonded

With loves pleas themselves the heeded

Now sorrows forgotten, all joys increased

For twas beauty that tamed the beast

Putting the poem down, Exusiai turned to give both brides an unscripted hug, and to my surprise, was crying. She didn’t really seem like one normally given to tears, but she had to dab at her eyes when she went back to her seat. 

Emperor nodded to Exusiai. “Thanks. Now, about these two. I won’t start back in Columbia, when I met Texas when she was a half-feral vagrant who got me out of a bind. Instead, I’ll start with when their story began together. I’d known Texas for a couple years at that point, and had just gotten a call about some pop idol who’d gotten into a beef with an uppity fan. Her manager knew I was in the protection racket and called me even though I don’t normally produce for idols.

“Now it turned out, I knew this girl, but not out of my own free will. Some Lupo mafia princess I knew had all this girl’s CDs. You might not know it from her hard-bitten and cold exterior, but Texas is a big girly girl who listens to nothing but pop ballads, Siracusa love songs, and girl in crimson, which for those of you who aren’t gay, is the most lesbian sappy love songs you’ll ever hear.”

I snorted with laughter at that. I had heard of girl in red, but only because Franka and Liskarm played it on loop, and they were my bodyguards on that Leithanian operation with those damned needleflies. 

“You just don’t like good music,” Lappland sniffed, which made the audience chuckle and Sora roll her eyes. 

“Uh huh. Anyway, as I was sayin’, Texas had been mopin’ about without much purpose in her life, mutterin’ about blood and honor and that shit from time to time. So, I decided to give her somethin’ productive to do, and set her up on a blind date with mystery and adventure.”

“Wait, how did you know I was gay too?!” Sora blurted, then blushed. 

Emperor just chuckled and shook his head. “I didn’t. I thought Texas would just get a kick out of meeting her favorite pop idol, and she’d get to be all heroic and stuff, so my business partner would quit moping about. That ain’t exactly how it went, though. Texas did swoop in all heroic like and rescue Sora from what happened to be an entire goddamn army of thugs. Turns out, the fan Sora pissed off was a mafia princess herself, of the 15k. They went all in on getting Sora, and Texas got to be a knight in shining armor, plucking Sora out of a trunk right before she was fitted for concrete shoes.”

“I’d say it was love at first sight, but it was Sora who fell for Texas first, and no denying it,” Emperor chuckled. “Soon as I met the girl, I knowed she was twiterpatted. Of course, Texas might be a terror in a fight, able to track a leaf at midnight, and one heck of a chef, but she’s blind, deaf, and oh lordy is she DUMB when it comes to love.”

“Traditionally, wedding speeches do not insult the bride,” Ingrid growled, her foot tapping impatiently. 

“It’s fine. I’m not insulted,” Texas said, her tail wagging slightly. I could tell she was more amused than anything else. 

“It took a solid three and a half years for Sora to work up the nerve to jump Texas. And she tried everything. I felt bad for the girl, I did! She walked in on Texas listening to girl in red’s single We Met in October, and said,” Emperor’s voice took on a high falsetto, and he gasped, “‘Oh my gosh, Texas, that’s like, my favorite girl in red song! Hehe, it’s it funny, we met in October, too!’ Which is about the gayest thing I think I have ever heard anyone say. And you know what Texas said?”

Sora clapped her hand over her mouth to stifle her giggles, while Texas grinned and said, “No. It was September 30th. We met in September.”

“At that point, I think most folks would have just given up. But not Sora. I think she talked Croissant into lookin’ up Texas’ uh, favorite media hits, shall we say, and hatched a plan to get Texas to Anime and Chill with her. And thank goodness it worked, because I was about to smack Texas upside the back of her thick skull and tell her, ‘She gay, fool! Ask her out already!’” 

“Should have. Would have been helpful,” Texas mused, and Sora groaned. 

“Yeah, well, I’m sorta glad you two worked it out on your own. Makes for a hilarious story. Anyway, once Sora got through to Texas, these two were the sweetest things. Leavin’ little love notes for one another, always takin’ the time to eat together or go for a walk. Had to be discreet about it, Sora was under contract ‘n all, but it warmed the cockles of my old and crusty heart to see these two love birds.

“So, it is with great pleasure, that I now say, if anyone has any objection or reason to why these two should not be married…” Emperor reached behind himself, pulled out Lil’ Homie, and dramatically cocked it. “Shut the fuck up.”

Exusiai snorted so loudly that I thought she was going to burst a vein. Ingrid went bright red and her ears shot straight up.

Lisa, however, nodded sagely, and Murmura pumped her fist and shouted, “Taci, cazzo!”

Let it never be said that we Sussurros are cursed with a mild nature.

Once Exusiai had herself back under control, fanning herself with a program while Odda had a giggle fit, Emperor tucked Lil’ Homie back in his waistband and nodded. “Aight. Now, I’m gonna be real, and spiritual, so hold on to your hats. Texas, Sora, your love for one another is real, and binding. You doin’ this out in the open though, that’s gonna change things. I don’t have to tell the two of you that bein’ gay ain’t exactly the easiest thing. Some folks is gonna take issue with that.”

Texas’ ears pricked up and her eyes narrowed, but Sora nodded. 

“Additionally, Aliza, you bein’ gay and gettin’ hitched is gonna kill your career faster than those cement shoes would have. I got hopes for ya, girl, but it ain’t gonna be an easy road, and you’re basically gonna start over from scratch. It’s gonna be hard, it’s gonna be painful, and some of your former fans are gonna say shit that you’ll have to stop your wife from killin’ them over.”

Texas let out a low growl, and Sora put a restraining hand on her shoulder. “It’s alright. I knew all that already. I still pick you, Celenia.”

“Hrrm,” Texas said, sounding unconvinced about the whole “not killing people who insult Sora” deal.

“As for you, Texas, I know you love Sora more than life. But you marry her, and your life is also over. Because if you marry a Sarkaz, as far as most folks are concerned, you is a Sarkaz. And as Odda here can testify…that’s some heavy shit. You pay attention too, Lemuel, because Texas is about to be your sister in more ways than one if you both continue on your path.”

“Don’t care. I’d trade my ears for horns and tail for a spade to be with Aliza,” Texas stated flatly. Sora gasped slightly, and I felt my heart skip a beat, because ‘spade’ is a very, very vulgar term for a Sarkaz’s pointed tail. 

Odda, however, nodded, giggles gone, expression stoic. “Hakil b’rikta anti hati.”

That was outside my knowledge, but James murmured, “Then you are welcomed, sister.”

I started, and glanced at him, but he seemed wrapped up in the drama. Since when did he speak old Kazdelian?

“Good. Then this right here? This is true love. You’re both willing to sacrifice, to lay down your own life, for your wife. That is how relationships last. The rest is a formality to some, but there’s something powerful, something real, something supernatural, that happens when two become one. So, I ask you this: Do you, Celenia Texas, take Aliza Sora Springs, to be your bride and light in life?”

“I do,” Texas said with a nod, gripping Sora’s hand like it was her lifeline, a tear trickling down her cheeks as she smiled.

“And do you, Aliza Sora Springs, take Celenia Texas, to be your bride and strength in life?”

“I do,” Sora said, tears streaming down her own face as she beamed brilliantly.

“Then you consent to the sacred and binding ties of marriage. Repeat after me: 

I take this woman to be my lawful wedded wife,

Through dark of night and bright of day,

In time of peace and in Cataclysm fierce,

Through health and stones dark affliction,

Against sorrows deep and joys on high,

Though the world be against us, as one we stand,

Arm in arm, and hand in hand, two hearst as one,

What the Herd unites, let none make undone. 

Amen.

They repeated the vows in unison, one arm around their spouse, the other hand interlocked.

When they were done, Emperor nodded. So Mote it Be. 

For a moment, I saw an endless herd of beasts behind Emperor. I recognized Miss.Christine, High Priest, and Dolly, but there were so many others. All of Signore dei Lupi, an ancient sargonian purrbeast and hound, a strange felid that reminded me of Vina Victoria, and giants with long trucks and tusks like no animal I had seen, and a hundred others. They let out a mighty roar, and I felt a weight settle over the congregation. 

Texas was holding Sora tight, her eyes wide, while Sora clung to Texas, gasping in shock. As suddenly as the herd of beasts had appeared, they vanished.

Emperor spoke into the sudden quiet. “This is the part where you kiss. Come on, we waitin’.”

Texas needed no further encouragement. She swept Sora off her feet and kissed her deeply, Sora intertwining her fingers in Texas’ hair. We all whooped and clapped, and Emperor nodded his approval.

“‘Ight, that’s enough jawin’. Come on, let’s break it down and get some eats! We got a PARTY to throw, and ain’t no one party like Penguin Logistics!” 

That’s when the explosions went off. It seems Exusiai had rigged the entire chapel with party favors, fire crackers, sparkles, and Laterano candles. Whistles, pops, and bangs flew, and CONGRADULATIONS! Was spelled out in fiery letters that left me half blind. 

Texas, the poor thing, grabbed Sora and dove behind the altar, her highly trained reflexes telling her this was an attack. 

However, a moment later, she poked her head out, ears twitching, and Sora’s head came up as well. Exusiai, who had out two poppers, was looking horrified as confetti rained down all over her. Seeing that, Texas nodded, and picked Sora up. 

“Um, congratulations?” Exusiai managed, looking horribly embarrassed. 

“Thanks,” Texas said, a smile on her lips. “Missed this. Got too used to boring battles.”

After that was the wedding feast, and boy oh boy, did we feast. Lappland had gone all out in cooking up the food with my help. Ingrid, it turned out, usually used store-bought noodles and canned pasta sauce. We chased her out of the kitchen and had conscripted Lisa and my sister in her stead. Thank the Law, the one thing my mother did right was teach Murmura how to be a proper cook. 

We had prepared not just Siracusan food, but Lungmanese dishes, and even some Rim Billington favorites like beckbeast meat pies, fin and chips, and Lamingtons, which were Sora’s childhood favorite. 

Lappland attempted to take up DJing duties, only for Emperor to fly into a blind rage and try to peck her to death. “THEM IS MY GIRLS, AND THIS IS MY PART,Y AND YOU ARE TOUCHING THOSE VINYLS OVER MY THOUSAND CORPSES BITCH!” 

Lappland laughed and acquiesced, and Emperor set up his gear. The first dance was, of course, “We Met in October,” with the two brides dancing together on the floor, Texas’ eyes locked to Sora, and Sora grinning so widely I thought her face would burst. 

After that, Emperor played a slow waltz, and to my surprise, James got shakily to his feet and extended his hand to me. “May I have this dance?”

“I, yes, are you sure?” I blurted, though my tail was wagging so hard I thought it would fly away, and I was having trouble breathing.

“I’ve never got to dance with you before. Better do it while I still got legs,” James chuckled.

The truth of that hurt just a little too much, so my eyes were misty as we went out to the floor. Croissant had led the laughing Bison out, while Odda bowed and kissed the hand of Exusiai before leading her out. Still, I didn’t really see the other couples, not even the brides. I only had eyes for James.

He might have been clumsy, and he probably stepped on my toes. But I don’t remember that. In my memories, and in that moment, he was just my prince, holding me tightly, as we spun about the dance floor. 

And then, Emperor proved that he was indeed a rapper out of Wrankwood in the 90s and put on “Crank Dat” by Merc Boyz. To my surprise and delight, James seemed to know the steps, as everyone, even Lisa and Murmura dragging Ingrid, got out on the floor and “Cranked Dat”. 

What followed was an eclectic mix of slow and romantic Leithanian waltzes, idol pop, upbeat hip-hop, and what I can only describe as “brain rot meme music” that delighted the children and Exusiai. 

James, however, lasted for only a couple of dances, and then had to sit down. I tried to sit with him, but he told me, “You’re practically the only person I can see, and I told Emps to put on ‘Crazy Right Now,’ which if it’s anything like the Beyonce song, I’ll be in for a show.”

I blushed and didn’t point out that he could also see Exusiai and Lisa, though I doubt he had much interest in seeing her dance, aside from it being adorable. So, I got “crazy” which prompted many wolf whistles from James, and Lappland to my irritation, though James shouted, “She’s mine, you jobless lupo!” 

“I have a job, I’m a licensed taxi driver!” Lappland shouted back, and flashed a cabby medallion. I later found out, she actually didn’t steal it. It was under a pseudonym, but she passed the cabby test with flying colors, apparently. 

Life really isn’t fair. Lappland is taller, curvier, a musician, a chef, a cabby, and better in combat than I could ever hope to be.

But I have James, so that’s what counts. 

James and I retired after the cake, which came out beautifully. It seems being in fear of your life is a wonderful motivator, as James related that Lappland nearly drowned the baker when he refused to make a lesbian wedding cake, especially for a Sarkaz. I suppose having a psychotic cabby is useful, now and again. 

After that, we retired to our rooms. It wasn’t James’ and I wedding night, but you wouldn’t have known it from how we carried on. I was feeling extra frisky, especially with my new wedding ring, and James responded in kind. 

We were awoken an hour before dawn by a shrill sound coming from our communicators. Mon3tr, Red, and Rosmontis were in the room, grabbing the two of us, naked as we were, and hustling us away before I could even register that the alarm was going off. 

Their communicators were blaring too. An entirely naked Texas was in the hall with an equally naked Sora over one shoulder, swords in her other arm, sprinting for all she was worth, as the horrific warble drowned out everything else. Everyone was there, Murmura and Lisa were crying as Ingrid went at full tilt, sword in her teeth, one girl under each arm. Odda and Exusiai had their weapons and armor on, Emperor was squawking at Lappland to go faster as she carried him like a sack, the Signori dei Lupi spiraling around them. Croissant and Bison had their heads down and shields out, and were barreling through doors and walls without pause to clear a path.

“What the fuck is happening?” James gasped, but I could only cry in response, as the words I never wanted to hear repeated, over and over again. “And what the fuck is that song!? It doesn’t sound like the Apocalypse!”

“Nearer my Law To Thee,” I gasped, as the notes of the hymn replayed and we all raced for our VTOL. “Rhodes Island has been destroyed.”