May I Enjoy My Life: Entry 50 (Patreon)

Entry 44, Day 88

I…I can’t believe it. My home, it’s gone. Again. 

It doesn’t feel real. It doesn’t feel like Rhodes Island is gone. 

There was a certain amount of disconnect when I came to Terra. I mean, I died. At least, I think I did. And yeah, I missed my stuff, but I was suddenly homeless in Ursus, and in survival mode. But, yesterday, last night, I was safe. We had a wedding! Everything was going sort of OK. 

Now, we’re dressed in spare uniforms that were stowed on the ship, our luggage back in Palermo as our two VTOLs head for…I’m not even sure where. 

I’m holding Sussurro, who is bawling into my chest, getting the slightly too small medical operators uniform I’m wearing wet. Everyone else looks shellshocked. Mon3tr is holding Red and Rosmontis, trying to hold back her own tears while the other two are wracked with sobs. I can’t see them, but I can hear their wailing. It breaks my heart. We got word that Director Kal’tsit is MIA, presumed dead. Apparently, casualties beyond her are light, but it seems the captain went down with the landship.

I’m going to miss her. I didn’t even realize how much I’d come to care for and rely on Kal. But she’s gone now. I knew…I knew academically that Kal’tsit probably died in Chapter 15 of Arknights, and that the Landship was destroyed. I just thought…me being here…things had changed. Guess I was wrong. 

Ingrid is holding Lisa and someone else. Lisa is an absolute wreck, her faint outline still shuddering with sobs. Weird, there’s a faint outline there, it’s kinda small, but-

“Oh fuck,” I gasped, and shook Lucia. She’s still sniffling until I lean down and whisper, “Um, honey…we still have your sister.”

At that, Lucia sat bolt upright and whirled. “Mura! What, what are you doing here?! You, you should be with mother and father!” 

“Well, um, i-it was late, and, um, I feel asleep at the party, and then when I woke up, Aunty Ingrid was carrying me and Lisa, and then we were in the ship, and I thought about saying something, but I wanted to go on an adventure, and Lisa was sad, and needed my help!” 

“It is my fault,” Ingrid said, her voice raw with pain, just like the rest of us. I can see the fragments of originium on her left arm, just above her elbow. Lisa is clean, but her mother is Stage 2. She insisted on taking a heavier load, and I am sort of bad at measuring how much I give someone. I was aiming to put her at Stage 1.

“No, it is mine, I, I should have kept better track of my sister,” Lucia said, sliding out of her jumpseat to go over and kneel by the faint outline of her sister. “Mura, I am sorry. We will get you back to-”

“No. We will not,” Ingrid said, and Lucia stands bolt upright, tail stiff, glaring at Ingrid.

“Lucia. We do not know how or why the Landship was destroyed. Perhaps it was this Priestess James has spoken of. Perhaps it was Ursus, or another of our enemies. But I am thinking whatever it was, James is a part of it. And, it is now known that Murmura is to be his sister in law. She would be a valuable hostage. It is better she is with us,” Ingrid said, sounding exhausted. 

“What!? But who would kidnap my baby sister!?” Lucia demanded.

“The same fools who have made it so I cannot take Lisa back to Higashi,” Ingrid sighed, and slumped in her seat. 

“But I thought you were going to take her back there. You keep threatening to,” I said, cocking my head to one side. Ingrid is hard to read because I can mostly just see her circulatory system, but I can see a faint blush from the originium building up in her cheeks as her capillaries dilate and the blood flow increases. 

“The truth is she or I, or both, would be assassinated or kidnapped in short order. Especially now that I am infected,” Ingrid said, her whole body sagging in weariness. 

“What?! But you said we could go back when I was better!” Suzuran gasps in horror. “I, I wanted to see otou-san!”

“Your father would be in far more danger if we were there. You are a half-blood, and I, a filthy vulpo instead of a noble kitsune,” Ingrid said, stroking Lisa’s head with her hand. “The clans have no respect for either of us. We are mere pawns in their games. We left because you were kidnapped. You likely do not remember it, you were so young. I had to kill six to get you back. Your father quietly disposed of a rival. But there were more. There were always more games. As long as we were there…we were vulnerable.Rhode Island was your home. The only safe haven. And now…”

Ingrid silently began to cry. There are sparkling bits of originium in her tears, and I can see two small forms hug her. Lucia gives her own hug, and I slump in my seat. It’s over.

“Rhodes Island isn’t dead.”

We all turned to Mon3tr, who scrubbed the oversized sleeves of her labcoat over her face, then forced a smile. “Mom always said Rhodes Island was an idea. It was the people who believed in that ideal. The landship…the landship was just a vessel. We can find another base of operations. But as long as we’re alive…so is Rhodes Island.”

“But…Director Mom dead,” Red whimpered, and Rosmontis’ head bobbed up and down. 

“She’s MIA. Not dead. And…and we’ll find her! Save her, somehow!” Mon3tr said. “I, I always saved her in the past! B-besides, um, she’s died before, and she came back! Maybe this is like that…”

“Let’s hope so,” Lucia said, and got back into her seat, and pulled out something and spoke into it. “Exusiai, how long until we reach Londinium?”

“It’s a ways off still, and we’re going to have to stop and refuel in Guttenburg. We’ve already got clearance, but, um, we just got off the horn, and…well…the Black Empress is going to be there. Seems we’re expected.”

“Shit,” I groaned, closing my eyes. The last time we’d seen Empress Hildegard, I might have insulted her, then run off with Rhodes Island after a military standoff. That…did not bode well. 

“Don’t sweat it,” Emperor’s voice said. He was over in the PL VTOL, along with Lappland, Texas, Sora, Croissant, and Bison. Odda was up front in our VTOL, piloting it with Exusiai. “I sent a message to Hilda. She’s a smart cookie, and I think she’ll be onboard. If what I think happened, happened, we’re gonna need to move fast, because there will be a very narrow window where we can act to prevent things from being fucked all to hell.”

I considerd that, then leaned towards Lucia. “Ask him if the Empress would count as an Ancient, or an Elder.”

Lucia relayed the question, and Emperor replied in the negative. “Nah, they’re chimeras maybe, but not Elders. But don’t be surprised if she shows up with a few wolpertingers or hippogriffs.” 

“Should we, you know, pass on the arts to them?” I asked, completely out of my depth here.

“We hold that card, son, until the Victorian conference. But we maybe invite the black goat and her Elders to tag along with us.”

I ended up sleeping most of the rest of the trip, and so did Lucia and the kids. The ride was a bit bumpy and my sleep was fitful, but I didn’t dream of Originium again, thank God.

When we landed, we were a subdued bunch. Red and Rosmontis swarmed out ahead of us, while Exusiai came bounding from the cockpit, clearly holding at least one gun, while Odda had out his hammer. Ingrid looked wary, quietly telling the girls, “Stay behind me.”

Lucia took my wheelchair, leaning forward and kissing my cheek. “Luck.”

“I’ll settle for not getting into a fight,” I said, but nodded my head. Then they wheeled me down the ramp, and I felt the sunlight on my face. I really couldn’t see much, but Lucia whispered in my ear, “An entire unit of Gesatzswächters here to greet us. Emperor is talking with their captain. They don’t seem hostile, but everyone is very tense.”

I jerked a nod, and a minute or two later, Emperor called. “A’ight, they gonna refuel the girls. We’re gonna have a chit chat with Hilda, then be on our way. Come on, let’s boogie.”

It wasn’t quite that simple. The royal guard were very concerned about several members of our group, particularly Rosmontis, to my surprise. It seemed they were rather well informed of her abilities, but they were also not thrilled about Texas, Ingrid, or Red going anywhere near the Empress. They were surprisingly chill about Mont3r, until someone told them her name. At which point, several weapons were pointed at Mon3tr, who responded by showing that hers were bigger. 

Emperor seemed to finally have enough, and shouted, “Will y’all motheruckers just CHILL.”

At which point the guards remembered that maybe the Beast Lord was the scariest person here, and at that point decided that everyone was equally scary and maybe we should just call this whole thing off. 

“Captain Reiner. This is quite enough,” a firm voice said, and everyone but me turned to look at the Empress. I probably looked at the wall.

“But Majesty, I-”

“No sentence that begins with ‘but majesty’ is typically worth finishing, Captain Reiner. I will see Doctors Sussurro and McCoy, Mon3tr, and Der Graf Pangwen. You may also be there, captain. No others,” Empress Hildegard said firmly. 

“As you command, Majesty. But these Rhodes Islanders…they are dangerous,” a voice that I assumed was Reiner’s said. 

“Good. I would hate to be wasting my time. Come.”

“We are going into the airport administrative center. It seems to be a rather impromptu meeting, though there are guards everywhere,” Lucia told me as she pushed me into a building.

“Well, at least they’re ADA compliant,” I chuckled. 

“ADA?” Mon3tr asked, turning her green gaze to frown at me. 

“Americans with Disabilities…uh, never mind,” I coughed. “Uh, it’s handicap accessible.”

 “Relax, Dr. McCoy. I am well aware you are an alien. Kal’tsit was most forthcoming in her letters,” the Empress said, and we came to a stop, apparently in a conference room, as everyone else sat down. 

“Refreshments?” the Empress asked. 

“We kinda skipped town without breakfast, so if you could feed the kids, they’d probably appreciate it,” I said.

“I see. Reiner?”

“At once, Majesty,” the captain said, then there was the tread of boots, and the sound of a door closing. 

“Well. It has not been long since we last saw one another, Doctor McCoy,” the Empress said, and her tone was no longer brusque, but gentle and almost warm. “It seems I was right about you. You have indeed kept going into burning buildings; it seems they have scorched you quite badly.” And then the warmth vanished, and the clipped tones were back. “Now, explain to me why I shouldn’t simply impound your ship and keep you here for your own good, and have you teach these new arts to my own doctors and scholars.”

“Well, for one thing, you probably like having an airport, and there’s at least six very angry women with me who could wreck it solo. I’d tell them to stop, but honestly, they don’t listen too good,” I said, and Sussurro groaned softly and kicked me under the table. But not very hard. 

“A point, but one that would not dissuade me. I myself am quite capable in combat, and I have my best guards here. I do not think you could replicate your trick against an Emperor’s Blade, either. You figured out how to push as well as pull. None of my men are infected,” Hildegard said blandly, which proved she was a pretty smart cookie. 

I shrugged. “Well, then the real reason is if you just wait a bit and come with us to Londinium, I think we can probably be convinced to give your men the arts. We can’t do the destructive stuff though, unless you have a Fallen Sankta around. Not that I really want to spread that stuff around. I don’t know if I could liquify someone again. It’s…well. Maybe you’re used to having that sort of power, but I didn’t even know what I was doing when I did it, and it still makes me sick.”

“Would you murder another? Even if your life was on the line?” Hildegard demanded. 

“It wasn’t murder!” Lucia protested, but I shook my head. 

“Not to save my life. But hers? Or another of my friends? I…I want to say no, but…I don’t know. It would definitely kill me, though. My body can’t take that much originium again.”

“Would that be that all men were such as you. The world would be a more peaceful place,” Hildegard sighed. 

“Ain’t peacemakers we need right now,” Emperor said. “She’s awake. Only explanation for Rhodes Island getting destroyed, and the Old Witch getting merc’d.”

“My mother might still be alive!” Mon3tr protested, but her voice was trembling.

“I pray it is so,” Hildegard said quietly, and Mont3r turned pleading eyes on her. “These are dark times, and Dame Kal’tsit was ever one to guide us through the darkness and into the light. But I fear the worst has come to pass. Catastrophes spread and multiply. Our forces did not arrive in time for the initial assault, but even now, elements of the 3rd and 5th fleet engage the wreck of the Rhodes Island. But the originium spreads faster than we could hope to destroy it. You, Dr. McCoy, may be our last hope.”

“I, what? What’s happening?” I demanded. 

The Empress sighed, and there was the creak of a chair. When she spoke again, she sounded like she was facing away from us, and I got the faint impression from what I could see of her that she was standing at parade rest, looking out a window, by the way the sunlight was hitting me. 

“I know only a little, what Kal’tsit has told me, and what the Witch King has left to us. Which is practically nothing. But I suspect. Kal’stit sent out a call to arms, and Leithanien responded. It seems that the ancient evil that spawned originium was contained within Rhodes Island, sleeping. It has awoken, and has begun to consume all the land around it in crystal. It is currently in the wastelands between Rim Billington and Laterano, but it spread rapidly. Additionally…you spoke of Fallen Sankta. I see yours has Fallen as well. So have ours.”

“I, what? Yes, Exusiai fell, but-” I cut myself off, and swallowed. “Oh fuck. The Masses Travels.”

There was a scuff of boots, and the Empress sounded like she was facing us again. “Well, O Prophet of a distant world. Speak now. Or the world is doomed.”

“What…do you know about the Law?” I asked slowly. 

“Little and less. The Lateran church never gained much of a foothold here in Kreise. Instead, we followed the Güldenesgesatz. The magical contract and music of this land. Though we have the author of that here, do we not?”

Emperor sighed. “Fuck. Didn’t think even you people remembered I was the one who conducted the original Güldenesgesatz. Though it was Aurelian who created the magic. I just played the music.”

“Few do, but there is a reason you were honored in Leithanien for so many years. Regardless, has something happened to the Law? What is its nature? Even my agents have gleaned very little on the matter.”

“It’s a Clarktech supercomputer, and one that Priestess probably has Admin access to. It was created to brainwash and convert Sarkaz into soldiers and servants for the Precursors. So if she’s seized control…”

“Then she has Lateran Gunknights at her command,” Hildegard said grimly. “Yes. We must hurry to Victoria. Laterano is small, but dangerous.”

“That’s a fraction of the problem. She can use the Law to forcibly brainwash anyone and everyone,” I muttered, clutching at my head. “But this is too fast. It, it should have taken her months, or at least weeks, to move on after her Sarcophagus was destroyed. Unless…”

“Unless Kal’tsit did somethin’ she didn’t tell us jack shit about,” Emperor supplied. “Which, considering who we’re talking about, would track. She tell you anything, kid?”

“Me? Uh, not really,” Mon3tr admitted. “She put a lot of stuff in my memory banks, but not about what her plan was. I do think Priestess is trying to suborn the law, and that…huh. Lemuel Exusiai is the key to stopping it?” 

“Ah. That is your Sankta, is it not, Graf Pangwen?” Hildegard asked.

“She’s her own person, but yeah, Exu is one of my girls. Shit. I wish the Old Witch had bothered to tell us what the fuck was going on before she kicked the bucket.”

“Ok, so then the plan is we all go to Victoria, and teach as many people this originium access override stuff as possible,” I said, nodding. “Actually, you know what? Maybe we teach a few Elders here, and let them start spreading it.”

“No. These arts are powerful, and dangerous. And I do not entirely trust my court with my sister still…incapacitated. Those Elders I trust will accompany us to Londinum. My own personal airframe is ready. We also have several Rhodes Islanders here, and will bring them with us,” Hildegard stated. “Come. Your craft will be finished fueling soon.”

“Well, that went better than I thought it would,” I muttered to Sussuro as we left the building.

“Hildegard seems to have been working with Kal’tsit on something, but I think she’s keeping secrets. Still, I think we can trust her. This Catastrophe spreading from the wreck of Rhodes Island…I don’t like it.”

“Yeah that’s spooky as hell. Priestess seems to have escaped containment and gone ham. And I honestly don’t know how the heck Exu is supposed to stop it. I wish I could help, but I haven’t a clue how,” I whispered back. 

“Maybe you’ve done enough, James. If you can teach others how to manipulate originium…maybe it's time for you to rest,” Sussurro told me. 

I wasn’t sure how I felt about that. Did I have main character syndrome? Probably, I am a year 1 resident, after all. And, well, people keep calling me ‘Savior’, and I have unique and incredible powers like I’m some sort of shonen action hero.

But, I’m also in a wheelchair and blind, so maybe I should pass the torch. I just hope Exusiai was ready, because apparently, it was her turn to be a savior. 

14/8/1100

The flight from Palermo had been tense. I wasn’t as broken up about Rhodes Island falling as a lot of the others, mostly because Rhodes Island wasn’t my home. That wasn’t to say I wasn’t pretty shaken and weepy. I spent a lot of that flight finding tears on my cheeks and sniffling. 

Odda, on the other hand, couldn’t stop crying. He’s normally one to put on a happy face like I am, and pretend it’s all good. But Rhodes Island? Rhodes Island was his home. He’d lost Babel all those years ago, and while he might be Kazdelien, his heart was always with Rhodes Island, Sarkaz or no. 

“I just…I can’t believe she’s gone,” he whispered, his eyes red-rimmed and cheeks puffy. I only heard him because of the headset, and I reached over and squeezed his leg. He was beside me in the copilot's seat, and doing his damndest to stay on mission. 

“Rhodes Island, or the Director?” I asked. 

“Both, I guess. She took me in, back in the Babel days. Kids made fun of me for having a feline for a ‘mom.’ I broke their fucking noses. Told them to shut the fuck up. Shit, I wish she was really my mom. Even if she is an ancient immortal witch who put Kazdel to the sword more than once. She was the best of us.”

I nodded, using my forearm to scrub away my own tears and keeping one hand on the yoke. “I didn’t know her well, but Kal’tsit was a good woman. Distant, occasionally harsh, but she cared. I…I just thought…she’d be there forever, you know? Like Boss.”

“Yeah. I do. She was the rock on which the Island was built. And now…now that’s gone too,” Odda said, his voice raw with pain. 

I reached over, and against a lot of flight protocol, put my hand in his and squeezed it, then didn’t let go. He didn’t complain, even if you’re not supposed to fly one-handed. 

“I’m sorry. We’ve both lost our homes before. At least…at least we’re still together, and we have our friends with us,” I told him. 

“Yeah. I guess you did get kicked out of Laterano. At least I can go back to Kazdel, but…fuck,” he cried a little more, quietly, and I didn’t say anything. I couldn’t. My own throat was too raw. 

We did manage to secure a landing in Lethanien so we could refuel, though we didn’t plan on spending long. I stayed with the ships along with Odda, Croissant, and Bison, while Boss and James went to go talk with the Black Empress. I was just doing a check of the engines, when I heard a familiar voice that made my heart stop. 

“I heard there was a troublemaker here. Guess I should have known it was you causing the problems.”

I jumped out from the maintenance panel, a huge grin on my face as I tackled the grumpy red-headed liberi there. “FIA!” 

“Hey there, Apple Pie, I- Oh fuck.”

I froze, arms still around Fiametta. Slowly, I disentangled myself. This…this was the first time…someone from Laterano…she wasn’t a Sankta, but…

“Oh Law, Exusiai, how…how did it-” words failed Fiametta, something that rarely happens, and she just stood there, hands on my shoulders, a look of shock and horror on her face. 

“Uh, yeah! So, um, what do you think of my new look?” I managed, fixing a grin on my face. 

“Sī sint molliculī ac parum pudīcī,” Fiametta whispered, then hugged me again. Wow, she must be in a bad mood if she’s quoting Valerius. 

I hugged her back, hard, eyes squeezed shut. “I, it’s OK. I, I’m still me, you know?”

“Yeah, I just, fuck, Apple Pie,” Fiametta said, her expression full of pain as we separated, though she was still squeezing my shoulders. “Does your sister know? Shit, I need to tell-”

“Fia! Did you find Lemuel? She wasn’t with Texas, I- Oh! There you…you…” Mostima came around the ship, and Fiametta turned to look at her charge, obviously torn. Mostima froze for a moment, and I saw a dozen emotions flit across her face. 

“There you are!” Mostima said brightly and came over to give me a quick hug. “You look good! What’s this I hear about a boyfriend? Maybe a serious one, this time? You usually go through them like Impetuous Justice here does code names.”

“Mostima…not the time,” Fiametta said, her voice ragged. 

“Um, yeah!” I banged on the fuselage. “Hey, Odda! Come meet my friends!” 

Odda stepped out a second later, wiping his hands with a grease rag. “Yeah? Who is- oh, hey Fia, Mostima.”

“Huh. You know what? I’m not actually surprised,” Mostima mused, rubbing her chin and nodding her approval. “You always were into the angsty bad boys, and Odda fits.”

Odda came over to stand beside him, his body language tense. He put a possessive arm around my shoulders, and I had to fight back a laugh. So that’s how it was, huh? I did lean into him and put my arm around him, though. “Oh, so, she told you?”

Fiametta’s expression had gone blank. Yeah. That was going to be a problem. She’s a member of Notorial Hall. Her job is to enforce the Constitution…and a major point of that is the whole not interbreeding with Sarkaz thing. It’s bad enough if you have a kid with an Ancient or an Elder, but you just get excommunicated. You fuck a Sarkaz, though…and that’s when they send the Executors. 

“We’re sleeping together,” I said firmly, meeting Fiametta’s gaze. “That’s not going to be a problem, is it? After all, I’m a Sarkaz now.”

“Fuck,” Fiametta groaned, and reached up to rube her forehead with one hand. “El, this is…fuck. You know that I-”

“-will mind my own fucking business,” Mostima said firmly. She was glaring at Fiametta, who shook her head. 

“It’s not that simple. She’s Fallen, yes, but…shit. Look, I-”

“I like you, Fiametta. Don’t make this a problem,” Odda growled, and I felt his body tensing. Mmm, he does have nice muscles, but…

“Down, boy,” I said, and leaned up to kiss him on the cheek. “I’ll talk with them, OK? You know who Fia works for.”

“How about you go take a walk, Fia. I need to talk to El,” Mostima said firmly. 

Fiametta looked pained, and for a moment, her head swiveled back and forth between Odda and I, and Mostima. At last, she sighed, and he shoudlers slumped. “I…yeah. OK. Fuck me. I’ll just…shit. And they’re demanding we go home, too…shit.”

Fia slumped off, and Mostima turned to Odda. “You break her heart, and if her sister doesn’t shoot you, I will. Even if I have to steal a gun to do it. You treat her right…and I’ll make sure Notorial Hall never hears a word.”

“You know me, Mostima. You think I’d break her heart?” Odda said, breathing out a breath he’d been holding, a lot of the tension leaving him. 

“No, you’re a true Rhodes Islander. Idealistic to a fault. And also about as angry a Sarkaz as I’ve ever met, and I’ve been on missions with Wiš'adel ,” Mostima said, shaking her head slowly, a small grin on her face. 

Odda winced. “Look, uh, I’ll do right by Exusiai, OK? I think…well, I mean, I’ve had girlfriends before, but this…this feels different. Serious. I might be falling in love, but I’ve been told by most Sankta Sarkaz don’t have a heart.”

“Don’t try that self-pitying bullshit on me, Odda,” Mostima said, rolling her eyes. “Yes, a lot of Sankta are racist assholes. And so are a lot of Sarkaz. And everyone else. You know me, and we’ve always been cool. So let’s not change that with you dating my pseudo little sister, OK?” 

“Yeah, OK,” Odda said, and extended a hand, which Mostima shook with a smile. 

Then she turned to me. I took a deep breath, then said, “We need to talk.”

“Yeah. We do,” Mostima agreed, her expression going sorrowful. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms about me. Didn’t say anything. Just hugged me. I closed my eyes and held onto her for all I was worth too. 

“Fuck, I thought I was past the crying stage,” I gasped, as tears trickled down my cheeks, wetting Mostima’s jacket.

“Sometimes, I wake up, and it feels fresh, all over again. The void. The loss. You’re never past the crying stage. Trust me. Oh, El. I’m so, so sorry,” Mostima gasps, and I realize she’s sobbing too. 

“Uh, should I go, or? Yeah, I’ll just go,” Odda said, and turns to leave. 

I grab his arm, half breaking the embrace. “No. Stay. I…I’ll feel better, if you’re here. And…and I might need some help. Explaining.”

“Was he there?” Mostima asks, stepping back slightly, but keeping her right arm around me. 

I shake my head. “No, it was in Iberia, I…I shot Arturia Giallo.”

Mostima looks at me in shock. Then, she lets me go, doubles over, clutching her belly, and starts laughing. “Hahaha! Oh, El, you didn’t! Please, tell me it was- oh fuck! Haha! Oh, if I could do it again…hahaha, the only one I’d rather shoot than her is That Fuck Head. It might almost be worth it!”

“She…she was being taken by the Seaborn,” I said quietly, and I reached for Odda, who quickly put his arms around me as I began to tremble. Slowly, hesitantly, I told my story. Mostima holding my hands, Odda hugging me from behind. There were a lot of tears, and a lot of pain. But Mostima…well. We might not have Empathy anymore, but…she understood. She understood completely. 

“The Law is a big joke sometimes, you know?” she said when I trailed off, having recited the story to the point I was on the boat with Surtr and Mudrock, going back to the basecamp. “That’s almost exactly what happened to me.”

“Which is why I’m going to break it,” I said, and then, the anger was there. The hot, burning fury in my belly. I was beginning to understand what it is to be Sarkaz, and why Odda is angry all the time. The world was an unjust place, and I wasn’t going to take it anymore. 

“You, you didn’t hear?” Mostima asked, frowning. “Something is wrong in Laterano. We don’t know what. We were on a mission here in Leithanien, but something happened, and there’s a message telling all agents to return to the City. Started right after the Rhodes Island message. I think they’re related, but I don’t know how.”

“Priestess!” I gasped, my eyes wide with horror as my anger was damped by sheer, raw terror. 

Mostima cocked her head to one side, while Odda tensed. 

“Kal’tsit…she said the Precursors made the Law! James, he said Priestess was sleeping in Rhodes Island!” I babbled, breaking free of Odda so I could pace frantically. “If she’s free, then the Law is one of her most powerful tools! Oh shit! If she turbo charges it, what if she can do more than brainwash Sarkaz?! What if she can do it to anyone? Fia could be in danger too! Fuck, if the Empathy exploit works like it did for the Seaborn, then, then the whole city- Lemuen!” 

“Slow down,” Odda said, grabbing me by my shoulders. I nodded, then spun to look at Mostima, who had gone very, very pale.

“Lemuel,” she said slowly, and my heart did a backflip. She almost never calls me that. “I didn’t follow all of that, so maybe take it from the-”

I stuck two fingers in my mouth and whistled as loudly as I could. “FIA!”

There was a bang, and Fia fell out of the sky, smoldering slightly. Where had she been? She had her grenade launcher in one hand, a heavy repeating crossbow in the other. “What? Where?! I-”

“The Sankta are Sarkaz,” I blurted. 

Both Fiametta and Mostima blinked at me. 

“Uh, did the Fall scramble her brains?” Fiametta whispered, leaning in towards Mostima.

“No, shut up and listen,” I said, stepping forward. “Look at me, Fia! Look at Mostima! Then look at Odda!” 

A look of panic came over Fiametta’s features, and she nervously shrugged. “Uh, I’m not sure-”

“Cecila,” Mostima said quietly, and Fiametta grimaced. “So, how did you learn?”

“Kal’tsit. She told me…a lot. Ok, just, listen, please. I’ll explain.”

I did my best. It was jumbled, and a bit haphazard, but I told them everything I’d learned from James, from Kal’stit, and from Behemot. About how the Sankta were made by the Law from the Sarkaz. About how the Fallen regress to our Sarkaz roots. And…and that I could cure Oripathy, and use it to fuel incredibly destructive arts. I’d tested it, with Odda. Not alone, it scared me. But I could do incredible amounts of damage with my guns now. I was always good, I knew that, but my combat arts were on a level that I didn’t think was possible for a Sankta. 

Mostima took it all in, and so did Fiametta, who had thankfully holstered her weapons. 

“Well, fuck,” Fiametta groaned, rubbing her hand over her eyes. 

Mostima nodded grimly. “We need to get to Laterano, ASAP. If the Law has been corrupted by this Priestess…”

“You’re not going to arrest me for heresy?” I asked, half surprised. 

“No, we weren’t told everything, but we found a half-Sarkaz, half-Sankta girl on behalf of the Hall,” Fiametta said with a shake of her head. “After that…we did some snooping. Put some things together. In light of what you told us…it’s all making sense.”

“She had a halo, and wings, but they were..fragmented. Incomplete. Her Empathy faint, according to reports. And she had Sarkaz powers too,” Mostima added. 

“Huh. And here, I thought you’d try and kill us. Guess you’re pretty cool after all, One Armed Chainsaw Girl,” Odda laughed.

“Call me that again and you’ll see how uncool I can be,” Fiametta said, but her heart wasn’t in the threat. 

“We can’t just go to Laterano,” I said, shaking my head. “Priestess can like, control Originium. We’re going to need backup. And for that…we’ll need to go to Victoria with James.”

“Ah.” Mostima and Fiametta exchanged looks. “You mean…the Savior.”

“I mean, he’s sort of just a guy? But, uh, yeah. I also need to try and figure out just how and why these new arts work, if we’re going to have a shot against Priestess,” I said. 

“Alright. We need some more information too, but Laterano is going to be a high priority,” Mostima agreed. 

I nodded. “Yeah. Soon as we’re fueled up, you guys can hitch a ride with us.”

“Ah, vell then, if you are giving avay seats on your craft…perhaps myself and Frau Hibiscus could trouble you for a pair as well, Frau Exusiai?”

“Czerny!” I cried, and jumped forward just as he and Hibiscus approached. I gave both of them a hug, though Hibiscus was clearly horrified. 

“Oh hells, Exusiai, I, I’m so sorry!” she blurted, her expression torn. 

“Hey, don’t sweat it! Turns out horns and a tail are kinda neat!” I laughed. 

She nodded, and that was when I noticed her eyes were red and puffy. Ah. Rhodes Island had been her  home, too.

“And…and we’ll get through this. Together,” I promised her. 

She bit her lip, nodded, and gave me another hug. “Yeah. I just…Dr. McCoy is OK, right? He’s alive?”

“Mostly,” I assured her. “Lucia has been taking good care of him.”

“That’s good. We need all the hope we can get,” Hibiscus said, and gave me a pained grin.

“Zher is always hope,” Czerny said gravely. “We are rallying, not retreating. The performance, it is not yet over. The Empress brought us here, to take us to Londinium, but if we can go with you, zhat would be for the best, I think.”

Everyone was talking together, and I stepped to the side. Mostima shadowed me, and I nodded to her. Odda looked at me, away from talking to Hibiscus, but I shook my head. 

Mostima and I found a quiet place, and we slumped down on the ground. 

“You try and kill yourself yet?” Mostima asked quietly.

Mutely, I shook my head. 

She nodded. “Good. I have. Fia stops me, every time. Tell Odda. Tell him to watch you.”

“Do, do you and Fia…?” I swallowed. 

“Sleep together? Yes, but not like that. She keeps an eye on me. We’re honestly just friends. More like sisters, really, but not lovers,” Mostima said quietly. “Don’t be alone. Ever. Not for the first year. I haven’t tried to kill myself in…well, a while. I never thought I would be suicidal. But, then it all hits you, and…and…” 

She raised her left arm and pulled down her sleeve. She had scars. More than one set. And she’d cut up her arm. Not just across the wrist. She really had been trying to kill herself.

“Or pills, or a cliff, or…” she shuddered. “It’s real. It’s hard. My parents won’t even talk to me. Only your sister, and Fia’s grandpa.”

“Old Patrizion? He’s a good guy,” I said quietly, and drew my knees to my chest, and hugged my legs. Mostima was in a similar position. “So…it gets easier?”

“Sort of. The pain isn’t as fresh,” Mostima said, looking up at the blue afternoon sky. There were a few clouds there, but not many, and it was a warm day, even here in the shade. “But the horns and tail are forever. Sarkaz. It makes sense.”

“Yeah. You…you take any lovers?”

Mostima gave me a sad smile and shook her head. “Not really. Not since…not since I shot my last one.”

“Oh.” That explained a lot. “Do you still hate him?”

“I try not to. But yes. I don’t know what I ever saw in that self-righteous vappa,” Mostima said with a sigh. Then she forced a smile. “You were the one to have sex for solace. And you picked a good one. I thought about trying to date Odda a few times, but…he’s really angry, El. Be careful. Not because he’s a Sarkaz, but because angry men…well. I don’t think you’d let him hurt you, but I’ve seen women do crazy things.”

“I’m fucking pissed too. And I don’t think he’d ever hurt me,” I said, shaking my head. “But thanks, I guess.”

“Yeah. I can see how you’d be angry. I am too, sometimes. But it’s hard to stay angry when it’s all just so absurd,” Mostima said, rocking back and forth slightly, her eyes fixed on the sky. “A computer. Our God, the Law…it’s a computer. No wonder it doesn’t give a shit about us. Just its rules.”

“Well. I’m going to change that,” I said, the venom in my soul coming out a little. “I’m going to make it understand. I’m going to force feed it Empathy, and make it shit rainbows, until that stupid machine knows what it is to feel.”

Mostima looked down, and cocked her head to one side. Then, she laughed and shook her head. “If anyone can do it…it’s you. Alright. I’m in.”

“You mean it?” I asked.

She extended her right hand, pinky out, like we were kids again. “Pinky promise, El.”

I wrapped my pinky about hers, and we bobbed up and down three times to seal the oath. 

“Well. You can’t break a pinky promise,” I said quietly. 

Mostima nodded, and then looked back up at the sky. “I hate to say this, El…but I’m sort of glad you fell. It’s perverse, but…”

“But now, someone understands. It’s not quite Empathy…but I’m glad you feel this too, Mostima.”

“Fucking bitch,” Mositma chuckled. 

We had another good cry. Then it was time to head for Victoria. 

Just me, and my big sister.

Lemuen…I’m coming. I might be the little sister…but I’ll stop whatever it is Priestess is doing, fix the Law so it isn’t a dumbass machine, and make everyone understand one another. We don’t need Empathy. We just need to have a little hope, and a little love. 

And a lot of guns to shoot anyone who disagrees, and until they see the right.