taking creative chances (Patreon)

this is the first piece I had made for the November postcard:

it's the kind of piece that sits well within my comfort zone (eg: swathed in blues, a magical woman, a fantastical setting), the kind of piece I enjoy making and that comes to me with little resistance. it's what a lot of you like seeing from me and some of you might prefer it to what I ended up making for this month's postcard and honestly? I understand that. the nature of the comfort zone also means it's the kind of project that doesn't ask much of me, doesn't encourage me to push myself in new ways. a kind of piece I can make reliably, that can gradually lead to stagnation.

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the balance of making art for myself and making art for others (an oversimplification of concept but that's for another time), especially because I do it for a job, is a line I try to thoughtfully toe. I want to respect my own interests and find ways to meaningfully overlap that with what my "audience" enjoys and wants to purchase. this is a topic that I tend to feel vulnerable about or that I think is too meta for others to care much about, but I think you guys, my patrons, perhaps understand this better than I assume, considering that you're essentially taking a chance on me in the same way I'm taking chances with my creative choices.

there's a thread of trust there that I want to respect on both ends, that gets more nuanced when living under capitalism. how do I prioritize creative expression in art while also making something that will sell or appeal? it's a question that produces endless threads of consideration, a question that many artists ask themselves. I don't find myself enthused by the idea of churning out the same thing over and over again, nor do I think doing so respects those who support me. especially those who continue to support me month after month without knowing what art I'll make? your openness to being surprised inspires me to take chances, to keep learning from the world and bringing that back into the art I create. so thank you really, the stability you offer has ripple effects that neither you nor I can fully understand or quantify.

inspiration board for this month's mail

I wanted to push myself with this month's art to explore areas that are less familiar, yet have inspired a great deal of curiosity in me. I wanted to lean into using neutral colors, drawing more objects, abstracting/simplifying form, and experimenting with texture. these are areas I have a lot less experience in and I can sense the growing pains inherent in my colliding with their newness. however, I reason that whatever comfort zone I currently have was born out of the same repeated pains and efforts and though practice requires time, that time will pass anyway.

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little tiny egg once said that the most you can ever really push your comfort zone and still get something meaningful out of it sits at around 20% and that has felt true in my own experiences. do too much and you lose the plot, do too little and you're not learning anything new. art, like life in ever-increasing ways much to my surprise, is about balance. a balance that is never struck or arrived at, but a dance and song, a continual exchange of energy, of play, of curiosity.

here are the speedpaints from this month's rewards, enjoy~

music credits:

I think it's cute when you anything / City Girl

The quiet air on a cold night / City Girl