Mist and the Chaos Gacha Part 18 (Patreon)

Feat Achieved! Walk in Space, visit a space station.

+1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket

Feat Achieved! Meet the Heroes, meet at least five heroes

+1x Silver Random Gacha Ticket

Feat Achieved! Is Nothing Sacred? Use a party or suitable distraction to figure out five or more secret identities. 

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Feat Achieved! Second Base with a hero.

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Feat Achieved! Home Run, with a hero.

+1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket

Feat Achieved! Three Way with a pair of heroes.

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Feat Achieved! Bag a Princess: have sex with a magical princess.

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"This feels like cheating," Mist muttered as he glanced over the list of achievements he'd picked up since getting to the Watchtower, most of which were because of Selena walking off with Diana and Supergirl to have some fun.

"What feels like cheating?" Barbara asked as she stopped her wheelchair next to the couch that the hero of the day was sitting on.

"My powers give me random abilities, skills, familiars or items in the form of magic cards if I complete certain tasks or go to interesting locations. I got a couple of cards for the party that probably should have been a lot harder to get but weren't because of the party. I'm still sort of trying to wrap my head around the fact that the heroes are celebrating the Joker's death."

"We usually don't celebrate when one of villains dies but the Joker is sort of a special case, he took great delight in causing pain and suffering and he always managed to survive his insane schemes, like he had a twisted guardian angel on his shoulder, it's a relief knowing that he's dead," Barbara admitted.

"I'm not complaining, it's just a relief," Mist assured her.

"In which way?" Barbara asked, curious about the stranger from another world that had helped deal with the Joker.

"It's nice to know that the heroes are actually human, I'd have tossed him into a woodchipper years ago," Mist admitted, thinking about all of the shit he'd pulled in various comics over the years.

Barbara glanced over at where Bruce was talking to Sirius and Giovanni. "I've thought about a lot of ways to kill him the last couple of years, unfortunately I'd be pretty high on the list of suspects."

"That's fair," Mist assured her. "I've got a question, if you could wave your hand and fix your back, would you?"

"Probably," Barbara admitted. "Zatanna would have already fixed it but her type of magic generally comes with strings or karmic issues and healing magic tends to be the worst when it comes to the magic unraveling at the wrong time and I'd want to get back in costume. There's a decent chance that her magic would just bridge the gap without actually fixing anything so I'd be worse off if the spell broke. Green Lanterns aren't allowed to heal people after the fact because of regulations which leaves questionable methods."

Mist swapped his Crystalline power and his Clothing Beam power out for Rejuvenation and Minor Healing Light and used both of them to fix Barbara's spine, causing a warm light to wash over the hero in the process.

Feat Achieved! Back in the Fight, heal a hero of a crippling injury.

+1x Gold Random Gacha Ticket

Barbara stared down at her feet when she realized that she could feel her socks, something she hadn't been able to do since the Joker shot her. "Did you just heal me?"

"Yeah, no red tape, no messy spells that just avoid the problem," Mist assured her.

Barbara glanced over at Nightwing who was talking with the teenagers that had come with Mist and Sirius then focused on Mist. "I should probably give you a lecture about not using your powers on people without permission but you actually did ask, didn't you?"

"Sort of, yeah," Mist agreed as he watched Oliver Queen flirt with Black Canary over by the drinks table then focused on the attractive redhead in a high tech wheelchair. "You'll still need physical therapy but that should be easy enough to arrange."

"Thank you," Barbara told him as she worked on moving her toes, something she hadn't been able to do since the Joker shot her in the back. "How many powers do you have?" she asked, knowing Bruce would give her a hard time if she didn't at least ask.

Mist pulled his attention off Dinah's behind and focused on Barbara. "Currently? Thirty seven if you don't count some of my defensive traits as powers but I've got a stack of cards to check and I can only use eight of my powers at a time."

Barbara glanced at the stack of foil wrapped cards that the man was holding. "Is there a reason you haven't opened the cards?"

"I was just trying to enjoy the moment, the cards are a bit random and I'm having a good time just sort of chilling and enjoying the ambiance," Mist admitted as he checked the top card with his Piercing Eyes ability. 'Polymath, you improve in all areas of expertise with speed that vastly outstrips the average person. That should stack with my magician trait,' he mused as he opened the card.

"What did you get?" Barbara asked.

Mist handed her the card, knowing it wouldn't matter as the person that opened it claimed it and checked the next card. 'Metal Manipulation, lets me reshape and control the form of any metal I'm touching. I could already mostly do that with ferrokinesis, this is just a bit more powerful.'

Barbara stared at the card she was holding turned into motes of light and flowed into Mist. "Does that always happen?"

"Yep," Mist replied as he opened the Metal Manipulation card, figuring it might have some synergy with his ferrokinesis ability. 'Worst case, it's one fifth of another active slot.' He handed the card to Barbara after making a show of glancing at it.

"So you basically just became a natural genius with anything you try to learn?" Barbara asked, curious if she'd understood the card correctly.

"It's more like I picked up a healthy amount of talent with everything, I'll still have to work at things and I doubt I'd make any real leaps of logic like an actual genius but it certainly makes learning new skills easier," Mist replied as he checked the next card. 

'Dampener, you're able to weaken effects and abilities by being in contact with them. The weaker an ability is in relation to you and the longer you stay in contact, the more it is weakened before being disabled completely.'

'Pretty sure that stops the second I'm not touching them so it's probably more useful if I just make some power dampening cuffs,' he mused as he opened the card and made a show of reading it while he checked the next card, not really wanting to admit that he could mess with powers in a room full of heroes since he didn't want to be stuck with an 'obligation' to make power dampening cuffs, at least until he figured out how to make damned sure they didn't work on him.

"Huh," he muttered as he quickly opened the card for the 'Blessing of Hestia' card before something went wrong and he lost it. "Blessing of Hestia, you're a child blessed by Hestia, the goddess of Hearth. You have resistance to all mental effects and negative ailments and your body is way healthier," he said, leaving off the part about people feeling more comfortable with him due to a natural aura.

"That's useful and a bit strange that your power is connected to the gods," Barbara mused as she watched the cards he'd open turn into motes and flow into him.

"It's probably just a copy of her blessing or a blessing from a version somewhere considering I'm not from your world," Mist replied as he checked the next card. 'Shadow Stalker, you're giving me Shadow Stalker's shitty phasing and you couldn't even fix the electricity weakness? If that shit comes with a shard, I'm going Rob hunting. Screw it, I can probably make something and use Synthesis to ditch the electrical weakness.'

Mist opened the card, made a show of glancing at it then handed it to Barbara as he looked at his next card. 'Godslayer Apostle Flames? This ability allows you to wield and control the Godslaying Flames of the Apostles. While these flames are already plenty strong on their own, when used against the divine, these flames get significantly hotter and more potent. The more divine the enemy is, the more potent the flames.'

'So, against an actual god, that might actually hurt, especially if I combine it with something that duplicates my Holy Light ability,' he mused as he opened the card and looked at the remaining card. 'Dark Resistance, you're naturally resistant against Darkness and Darkness based effects. Such as shadow blasts, darkness chains, clouds of darkness, shadow blades, etc. This resistance scales with your base stats. That should make dealing with Lilith easier,' he mused as he opened the card.

Barbara frowned slightly as she thought about the wires you'd need to avoid. "If it wasn't for the weakness to electricity, this would make sneaking around and snooping a lot easier."

"I might be able to fix that part if you want a set of bracers or something that gives you the ability," Mist offered as the motes of light from his new Flames ability sunk in and unlocked another active slot.

"Seriously?" Barbara asked.

"It's worth a shot," Mist replied as Nightwing walked over with Harry and Hermione, "I picked up a decent amount of enchanting skill thanks to a card, I might be able to find a way to keep the useful bits or use my Synthesis ability to ditch the weakness by combining a different set of magical bracers."

"Can you make magical armor?" Barbara asked thoughtfully.

"Absolutely," Mist replied with a grin. "I don't have everything I need but I should be able to get your suits bulletproof and nearly immune to acid and fire if I grab some dragon hide from Harry's world. Keep in mind, I'm talking about the armor being bulletproof, not the person using it."

"That would still be a hell of an upgrade," Nightwing argued, wondering how much he'd charge and how long it would last. "The problem would be fixing the suit once you're gone."

"I can probably add some regeneration to the suit to keep it in perfect shape on the off chance that it gets damaged. If that doesn't work, I have a friend at the magic school that can make bracelets and jewelry that basically give the wearer a force field. If I toss in an enchantment that duplicates my Shadow Armor power, we could probably get some armor that would let you fight significantly above your weight class."

"Shadow Armor?" Nightwing asked thoughtfully.

"One of my powers covers me in shadows that act like armor and gives me a boost to my physical abilities." Mist activated his Shadow Armor power, causing shadows to swirl around him and cover him like pitch black platemail.

"That's a bit disturbing, not exactly my style though," Nightwing mused.

Mist adjusted the shadows, turning them into a black bodysuit a lot like Nightwing's outfit. "I can also adjust the shadows."

"How much?" Nightwing asked.

"That depends, if you just want a dozen rings that can give you shadow armor and a decent boost to your physical abilities for the heroes or sidekicks, nothing. Call it a donation for being heroes and all that."

"And if we want our armor tricked out?" Barbara asked.

"That's going to take a bit more work, how about a trade? I need a bag of gold coins or art objects sold off for cash so I can pick up some computers for a library. If you're willing to help me sell some stuff since I don't have ID, I'd be willing to put in some serious effort on your group's armor."

"Deal," Batman said as he walked over with Sirius. "If you don't care about how old the computers are, I'll even toss in fifty mostly working computers that your friend could fix with magic."

"I'll even help you set everything up," Barbara offered, figuring it would be a good way to help pay him back for healing her spine.

"That would be fantastic," Mist agreed. "Speaking of being helpful, does anyone want to be a couple of years younger or have me fix their old injuries while you have Green Lantern around to double check everything?"

"I'll make some calls," Batman said, then walked off to start calling some of his old contacts, knowing that Green Lantern wouldn't have a problem scanning people to make sure everything was safe.

'Huh, they've got a reasonable Batman, cool,' Mist thought as he started coming up with ideas about how to improve their costumes and where to find the required material that he'd need to improve their costumes.

"We should probably sneak down to the Chamber of Secrets if we're heading back, basilisk skin is exceptionally durable," Hermione suggested.

Mist grinned. "I was planning on letting Harry borrow my ring so he can just open a portal once we're back in your world, that saves us the trouble of sneaking back into Hogwarts. It would also let us slip into the ministry, right?"

Harry nodded. "I was there for my trial."

"Trial?" Barbara asked.

Harry sighed. "Someone sent a couple of soul eating monsters after me during the summer, I had to use magic to save my cousin so the Ministry brought me up on charges for underage magic use while not at school and tried to snap my wand."

"There are provisions for self defense and he won the case," Hermione added, not wanting them to get the wrong idea.

"Sounds like a mess," Nightwing said.

'More like a shit show,' Mist thought as he pulled a bracelet out and started enchanting it to dampen Fudge's magic so that he couldn't escape his coffin.

"That was just the calm before the storm," Harry grumbled then started explaining the crap they'd had to deal with the last couple of months because of Fudge.

0o0o0

"You'd think they'd have better security," Mist grumbled as they walked through the deserted hallways toward Fudge's office, his steps barely making a noise thanks to his stealth skill.

"Do you really need security if no one is willing to get near you?" Harry asked, not all that surprised that the place seemed deserted.

"Point," Mist agreed in a whisper. He focused on being extra quiet as they walked around the corner and saw an angry man in a lime green suit arguing with Lucius Malfoy.

"I don't care how dangerous the bastard is!" Fudge snapped. "You're going back to your mansion and you're going to kill Voldemort."

"I'm not going to be able to kill him," Lucius told Fudge, trying to get him to resend the order since Voldemort would torture him until he broke.

"I'm not seeing how that's my problem," Fudge replied with a smirk, happy that he could finally tell Lucius exactly what he thought about the slimy bastard. "If you can't kill him, you'll be dead and I get to keep fucking your wife. If you manage to kill him, I won't have to deal with him and I'll still get to fuck your wife."

"The people will turn on you eventually," Lucius snarled.

"The people are sheep, one word or gesture and they're mine," Fudge argued, ignoring the fact that his power had failed against Dumbledore and Potter for some reason. "Now get lost, I want to fuck your wife, unless you want to watch?"

Lucius scowled and stalked off. 

Mist slipped the time/magic-released Holy Light bomb that he'd enchanted into Lucius's pocket, not seeing a reason to pass up the chance to deal with Riddle if luck was going to hand it to him on a silver platter. He pulled his improvised sap out of his inventory and slipped into Fudge's office where Narcissa Malfoy was sprawled on Fudge's couch without a stitch on. 'Yeah, there's something seriously wrong with Lucius because there's no way Draco should be an only child.'

"On your knees," Fudge ordered.

"Fuck me hard Lord Fudge!" Narcissa shouted as Fudge reached for his belt, sounding way more enthusiastic about the entire thing than she probably should have.

'Yeah, fuck that,' Mist thought as he walked over and brought the coin filled leather sap down on the back of Fudge's head, dropping the man unconscious with a cracked skull.

"What the hell?!" Narcissa complained when Fudge collapsed like a sack of potatoes.

"Someone hired me to deal with Fudge," Mist offered as he pulled the sleeping potion he'd used his magic cauldron to make and poured it down Fudge's throat, wanting to make sure the minister stayed unconscious until the magic suppression cuffs had enough time to drain his magic.

"You couldn't have waited five minutes," Narcissa complained as she glanced around the room, looking for the person talking.

"Ah…" Mist trailed off as he realized that Draco's mother was annoyed that he'd knocked Fudge unconscious. "Wait, are you saying you're here willingly?" he asked in disbelief.

"Yes," Narcissa replied. "It was this or let Voldemort and his goons rape me because Lucius couldn't deal with the minister and Fudge has a vibration spell that is amazing. I'm just happy that Fudge ordered Lucius to destroy the wedding contract, I haven't had sex in nearly sixteen years!"

Mist used his ring to break all of the curses that Narcissa was suffering from. "I just broke all of the curses that you were dealing with, I suggest you get dressed and head to Diagon Alley and stay somewhere public for a bit while Lucius deals with Voldemort, everything should be dealt with in twenty minutes."

"What are you going to do with Fudge?" Narcissa asked.

"I'm going to stick him in a warded coffin and drop him in the ocean, he can be someone else's problem and you can find someone that isn't a monster to fuck," Mist told her.

"Fine," Narcissa grumbled as she grabbed her clothes and started getting dressed. "It's hard to find someone that actually wants to have sex considering Lucius would curse them if he found out. Are you interested in having sex?"

Harry moved out of the way, not sure how to feel about seeing Draco's mother naked, mostly because she was decently attractive. 'She doesn't even know what we look like, has she lost her mind?'

"Sorry, I've got a girl back home," Mist lied as he took a couple of seconds to appreciate the view. 'Just because I'm not willing to fuck the crazy bitch, doesn't mean the view isn't decent.'

Feat Achieved! Avoid Crazy Witches.

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"Your secret is safe with me," Narcissa assured him.

"Tell you what, if you want to jump up and down a couple of times and show off how well your breasts bounce, I'll make you twenty years younger and you can pretend to be Draco's older sister. That should make it easier for you to seduce someone," Mist told her as he checked his card, rather amused that the card was an angry snow tiger familiar. 'Okay, I get a card for avoiding crazy witches on the prowl and I get a crazy cat.'

"Deal," Narcissa replied as she jumped in place, causing her breasts to bounce.

'I need a camera,' Harry mused as they watched Draco's mother put on a show, wondering how badly Draco would lose his shit if he sent him a stack of wizarding pictures of his mother acting like a woman of questionable morals.