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I need help! (Patreon)

Published:
2024-02-23 03:39:58
Imported:
2026-06

Content

Hey guys I've been trying to film the gg content but it was one of those days where my body won't listen to my mind or heart, after I filmed TWS and had lunch, I've had massive heart palpitations and had an anxiety attack all day.

Blaire used to calm me down and encourage me but now that I'm alone, especially in a dark empty 5 bedroom house, admittedly I've been freaking out and trying to calm down.

I've tried my various calming techniques and they keep me stable for a while but the underlying crippling anxiety won't go away. I can't stop tearing up even though I'm not sad. I've been trying to win over this myself for hours now, but I keep wasting time and have to admit I can't win over my dark thoughts alone.

I'm not tired and would really like to film the gg content so I'm opening up about my struggles and am open to any advice and strategies. The truth is I'm very lonely and scared, and I even considered going live but I don't think it would be healthy to show people this side of me on camera.

I thank you all in advance for your consideration and am open to trying any suggestions, no matter how bizarre, out of the box, or unconventional!

-Jaehyuk PD

Comments

Tony Ngo

please take of yourself first.

Miss._Kriss

My go to for panic attacks is listening to nostalgic music. Whether it be a song I heard when I was really little to a song that played during a specific moment :) Sorry this suddenly happened PD, your health comes first! ❤️ Hopefully it calms down :D (Also, I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing to go live when you are scared. Everyone has their own things going on and you could be comforting somebody else by doing it! Like how an Idol goes live at 2am just to drink lol (a bit different but u get it))

yayasiimsx

Marconi Union - Weightless its a meditation song i use its heard to slow down your heart rate and help you relax

Samm Kayy

Mayen not go live and show your face, but maybe going live and just talking or even just live chatting like In a chat. If you need a distraction, my favorite is to chat with others and talk about our favorite songs or music videos and why. As well as sending random memes to one another. Also I have a question, what’s your favorite between a music video shot in daylight versus night?

Oscar Mosto

Try calling someone, anyone, hearing another person's voice and chatting about anything helps me a lot

Samm Kayy

Hope you feel better and don’t let others put you down for this. No one knows when these can happen. They just randomly appear. I believe in you PD!!! You’ve helped many of us through tikes with your videos !! Don’t forget that

nana chwe

Have you tried drinking cup of milk? my aunt has anxiety and it helps her calm down. wishing you well, pd-nim. dont rush and take care of yourself first.

Orbitverse

Usually whenever i feel panicked i try watching something i love to take my mind off of it whether it be a funny compilation of my favorite group or a show i really like. hope you feel better 👍

duckiehyunie

idk how helpful but i like to go somewhere where other people are - like the movies or a park or the grocery store. maybe just stepping out of the house for a little while even for smth small could help calm you down, I'm sorry you're feeling this way rn ik that's stressful

flowerbit

I’m sorry you’re having a tough time. I know how scary it can feel. Just know that a tonnnn of people feel like how u feel right now ALL the time and in the end they are okay. This feeling will pass. This moment in time will pass. Soon it will be tomorrow and things will be different

ditto

I understand how you feel PD! Something I do whenever I feel like I just can't get going is I almost do a "test run" of whatever I am doing. I start whatever I am doing but do not consider it to be the "final copy" of whatever I am doing (this usually applies to any schoolwork I do) and I continue to do this test run or practice until I feel less anxious or scared or whatever feelings I am feeling go away, then I end up feeling more motivated to get my work done. It's a strange thing even for myself and I am the one who does it, but it seems to work for me and possibly doing a practice run (maybe not with whatever you are going to react to but something else you maybe have already listened to as to not spoil yourself for the reactions) could help you get a bit more in the groove. Don't turn the cameras on, you don't even need to have the mic next to you. Consider it a rehearsal. My advice giving is not super great but I hope this helps in any way and you feel better! Stay healthy, PD. 저녁 꼭 챙겨먹어요! <3

Form of Therapy
>>130441461

That's an interesting suggestion!! And ooooo what a great question: I PREFER music videos shot at night but are bright. I especially love that bright stadium lighting at night, to me it evokes a sense of hope and light in a dark abyss. tripleS's Rising, specifically the shot where they dance at the some kind of sporting cage/court at night is one of my faves but in general, night time music videos that are specifically beautifully lit. There's a DKB video (I think the last one I ever reacted to) that's one of my faves.

Alexandra Diniz

Hey PD! I’m sorry that this is happening and I hope it gets better. One strategy that works for me is to distract myself by watching Seventeen concert videos such as Smile Flower, Hug, Don’t Smile In Secret, all the sad songs that can bring out the bad feelings (even if I need to cry) just so that I can have a little escape. I have a playlist of songs that are for bad days and that can validate my feelings even if other people can’t at the time. Breathe from Lee Hi was a go to as well. Just do what gives comfort and don’t do anything that doesn’t feel right at the moment. This is a no judgment zone so vent if it’s the case and laugh with us when it gets better. Hope this helps!

yayasiimsx

Taking a cold shower or rven watching one of your favorite comedy specials maybe or something that gives you comfort ❤️

Brianna

If you need a distraction in some form of course we’re here for you! Anxiety can feel crippling in the moment, I know first hand, but you can get through it. Honestly it may seem weird but during really bad anxiety sometimes super cold showers or even just sticking my hands in ice water grounds me. But that works for me personally. If you want to chat with us we can always help try to bring your mind off it.

Lex

You could try a warm drink! Like milk, lemon water, or tea.

Form of Therapy
>>130441437

That's an interesting way of looking at it! I'll take that into consideration. And nostalgic music! Thank you, I'll do that now <3

rebkki

I'm definitely not the best giving advice for these kinds of things, but usually what helps me is getting a warm drink like hot chocolate or a comfort food, wrapping myself in blankets and maybe getting a favorite stuffed animal of mine, and turning on a video with my favorite comfort streamer, idols, or funny compilation videos of my favorite groups! Hope this helps, take care of yourself! Don't force yourself to do anything uncomfortable. ❤️

Christina M Villa

How about just watching something for yourself? You don't need to film it, so there is no pressure. When I need company so I don't have to think, but also don't have to be "on" I watch compilation videos on youtube of kpop stars doing or saying crazy stuff. For me it is BTOB as they are naturally crazy

Chy

Try FaceTime or just talking with a friend or family member. I always Facetime with my sister or best friend when I am alone and going through it.

camila

i would definitely recommend breathing methods, maybe some candles, essential oils or even incense. i find that having essential oils with calming scents help me to relax like chamomile or lavender. those are the smells i’d recommend that have helped me with anxiety. maybe try to find a peaceful spot in your house that helps you relax. if it’s your room or recording area or even outside anywhere. sometimes focusing on senses helps! like a smell that comforts you, holding an item that comforts you or listening to something. white noises have helped people or even asmr sounds! maybe walking around your house can help just to take a breath and regulate your breathing. even if you’re able to call blaire that could help u to relax as well if she’s a big help. i hope these suggestions find you well. please take care of yourself PD <3

marisol

i like letting water run over my hands as i calm down my breathing. getting some fresh air and just focusing on breathing also helps me since i do have some direct control over it unlike my heart. i will sometimes put on a video to distract myself, usually a game stream vod or any long form video i know.

Form of Therapy
>>130441599

My first thought was "but won't that spoil--" but you answered my question. The "dont even turn the cameras on" is eye opening. I always "practice my intro" if I'm a bit nervous but I always stare at my reference monitor and check the audio. Your advice is super practical, I love it so much thank you, I'll be using this REGULARLY from now on<3

zae

i personally like the deep breathing/meditation exercises on netflix called “headspace” specifically “unwind your mind” they sometimes help me a lot when i’m too anxious to think or move , or if i’m having trouble sleeping . i would also like to suggest maybe if you like candles or any type of aroma to keep those around you ! or trying something like a relaxing bath with some kind of calming ingredients?? i know that listening to my favorite music on speakers when i’m alone helps me fill the spaces . its a tough thing to go through PD i hope you get to feeling better and you find something that works for you🥹🫂

Beatrice

This isn't something that is going to help an immediate anxiety attack/acute problem but I'm being completely serious when I say this: absolutely, 100% evaluate your diet and do research on nutrition. There are vitamin and mineral deficiencies, especially vitamin D deficiency that can cause extreme anxiety, depression, etc. (And most people are vitamin D deficient, it's a real problem). I've been doing lots of research recently on diet and its affect on mental health and overall wellbeing and it's seriously been eye opening

Artist37

Normally I would go out for a drive trying to go down roads I've never been down, obviously this isn't the best time or idea at the moment, but what I'm suggesting from that is to try something different, order some new foods, find a random YouTube channel to watch, etc. Sometimes just breaking up the monotonous habits helps me the most... also some hot tea and lofi with some light meditation.

Megan

That really sucks, PD, sorry you’re going through it. It’s not really addressing the root cause probably, but when I’m really in it I try and text 2 people to check in on ~them~. Once I’m done doing that, I try some sort of abrupt change of situation. If I’m sitting/lying down/melded with the couch I try to stand for the length of one song. Tactical, but hoping it might work for you? If data-gathering works for you usually, you might be interested in two things that have helped me better understand my internal workings as an autistic person : spoon theory and sensory processing issues. Thinking good thoughts.

Form of Therapy
>>130441806

Smells, senses--thank you. All things Blaire and I used to do together! It's always hard to remember things like this when you're alone and going through it--thank you for the reminder<3

beannieswife

breathing exercises, inhale slowly, exhale slowly, do that 3 times and then drink some water, repeat that until you feel like its working pat your shoulders, idk how to explain this but its like giving yourself a hug, pat your right shoulder with your left hand, and your left shoulder with your right hand, youre creating like an "x" with your arms, caress yourself, if you can do that while inhaling and exhaling slowly as well, it helps sometimes, im not taking care of grammar while writing this so idk if i explained myself well, i apologize in advance for that, really hope you feel better soon :(

Megan

Also maybe turn on all your lights?

ditto
>>130441599

Glad I could help out in some way! I know the feeling of "I know I have this work that needs to be done, but I just can't get everything going" all to well. And most importantly, thank YOU for the content you make. You bring a lot of smiles to faces with your content, including mine, and we all appreciate that so very much. Again glad my advice gave an impact on you, and cannot wait for the reactions whenever they come out! Much love PD <3

zae

also pd like others said you could even consider going live without showing your face! just going live to have someone to talk to if no one else is available. sometimes we need that outlet and i know personally i would not mind if you needed to chat and get your mind off things

Sebastian Reimers

Hey PD, regardless of showing us a vulnurable site of you i think going live might be a good way to distract this feeling of being alone. atleast it helped me often to do sth like streaming when i felt alone and nobody was reachable for me. Besides that i believe in the fact that you can train yourself to have a medium for calming you down in those situations. for me i trained to do that once with a hand excercise ball as a physical object but also with one of my most loved kpop songs. i dont think this will help you now but for the future. when you have a time where you feel well sit down close your eyes and calm down as much as possible while listening to that one song or having something in your hand or do sth similiar. concentrate on the feeling your inner calmness and at the same time on the song you listen to or something physical in your hands or sth similar. If you do that 2-3 times it might work for you in hard times so if you cant calm down on your own then you can just listen to that song or have like in my case the hand exercise ball in your hand this could trigger that calmness feeling. Sorry for that very long explanation where i really double and tripple repeated myself haha but i just wanted to try to tutorial it the best way as possible. I wish you the best PD and hope you get better soon. Never forget even if we cant be there for you in person there are enough people who wanna help you the same as you do for us. So if you need us just ask as u did now! Lets stay strong together :)

Emma 💕

My therapist once told me with immediate relief for physical symptoms of anxiety dunk the top of your head in ice water for 20 seconds. It will help physically slow down your brain and body because our brain is trying to protect itself from the cold.

Form of Therapy
>>130442051

Data-gathering works sometimes! Thank you I'll immediately be looking into the spoon theory and sensory processing issues!

feli

When I’m anxious I like to watch movies I’ve seen and loved before. A distraction but it’s still familiar so it soothes my mind. Maybe you could try something like that?

Gina ODierno

Ok. Been there in my own way. Had a 6 month stretch of that after a series of losses in my life (deaths, breakup, work failure, and so on), out of nowhere with the tunnel vision almost blacking out, think I can't breath, doubled over, then lying back to try to slow my heart to then walking and spiking adrenaline to not pass out, to then getting the shakes and finally my body just not wanting to move while my mind raced. As you said, coping mechanisms to get engaged in my physical body... so (1) ice pack touching my cheeks, back of my neck, lower back; (2) superman pose outside my front door (so possibility of someone seeing me and that breaking my cycling thoughts in addition to finding it hard to play a broken record in my mind or anxiety or depression when I am in the superman pose; (3) watching Teal Swan videos on every topic that is plaguing me (so puts me in student mode and helps me focus on something relevant but visual in engaging enough to pull my focus); (4) Pet therapy; (5) Those places where you can throw plates against a wall or break things with a bat; (6) Getting hugs from friends in between anxiety attacks; (7) stopping all caffeine and sugar in-take; (8) practicing self-love and self-care of whatever kind I can; (9) being there for friends and strangers who are having a hard time in a different way so it is a healthy distraction when in small doses (truly being of service to someone else for a little while).

Kat

An easy one is an ice pack on your chest, it triggers your brain to stop for a second. Finding a small, quiet and dark spot also helps, especially if you are feeling overestimulated. It can be helpful to isolate yourself from as many controllable triggers as possible. But honestly the thing that works for me the most is just sleep. Nap or just going to bed for the night and calling it a wash. Anxiety is a bitch and sometimes our brains just suck and do shitty things. Rest, relax, and wait until you can actually come down from the anxiety before you do things. If you get a cramp and keep on immediately trying to run you will only cause more damage. Our dumb dumb brains are the same. They fire off garbage neurons and you gotta just rest until you actually feel safe and secure again. This is temporary. Tomorrow the sun will rise and you can try again :) Also. As ridiculous and dumb as it is. Puppy pictures. Or animal pictures. The cincinnati zoo instagram is a delight. Their youtube is also superb.

beannieswife

for relaxing music I recommend any Jacob collier album, song, anything from him literally even helps me with insomnia, you’re not alone pd, hope you can get through this❤️

Form of Therapy
>>130442051

Oh my god, the sensory processing issues... It's definitely what I went through a lot as a child and in the past few years.

Erin Jones

Anxiety attacks are awful. I used to get them quite frequently. I remember the first time I had one I went to urgent care because I thought I was dying. I haven’t had one in a few months, but what sometimes worked for me was running as fast as I could.

Syndra
>>130441423

I know that why i said no rush. Health is more important.

feli
>>130442345

This could also maybe help with the big empty lonely feelings. I’m a massive introvert and usually its being social that triggers my anxiety but sometimes being alone gets to me too which is frustrating. Having something comforting and familiar on in the background of whatever I’m doing makes the space feel less big and overwhelming…. I used to sleep with it on all night sometimes when it got bad… rest in peace to the electricity bill though lmao. Wishing you the best!

Form of Therapy
>>130442351

Gina, thank you for sharing that. It definitely helped me not feel alone. I'm in the shaking phase of things and I haven't experienced this before. I'm grateful for your coping mechanism advice!

madiSON

some things that personally help ease MY anxiety + things I googled: ~stretch (literally anything, like wrist or neck exercises, you can remain seated for those) ~listening to music (doesn’t have to be calm music, I personally just play anything on my fav songs playlist to make me smile) ~humming a whole song (maybe bc I play a wind instrument hearing myself voice familiar notes without hearing my actual voice and having to remember lyrics is soothing) ~essential oils on wrists or base of neck (if you have any) or maybe just some perfume/cologne on hand that’s soothing to you ~googled: chamomile tea (store trip if you’re able or willing, I don’t have chamomile tea bags just lying around lmao) ~googled: found something called a 3 3 3 Rule that can help ground you when you’re overwhelmed (identify 3 objects, 3 sounds, then move 3 body parts) ~everyone is different so do not worry if these don’t feel right to try or don’t work :)

heykaylc23

I hope you find comfort in any of the suggestions here and the support of this community. You are not alone and it's unfortunate how anxiety can impact us. Some of the things I do to calm down or just get my body feeling good: - a shot of carrot juice and topped with a bit of cranberry juice. I'll try to have this one shot once a day and it'll give me an energy boost - drinking decaf tea - eating a homecooked meal, my body always feels better on food ive prepared myself - body scan meditations, I like to do this one https://youtu.be/0zrOqOKUbx0?si=MHxR6W_9zYmYjdoR and since there is no background music I play this one in tandem - https://youtu.be/sXC6AUbY69A?si=cf8Joy_QvfAe-7d0. As I do these I just envision negative energy leaving my body and I try to acknowledge/accept how my body and mind are feeling. - i'll play low-intensive mobile games (farming games) and will play a podcast or music in the background - watch something that will make me smile so variety content or comedy shows.

Aegiey

Yesterday and today I've felt like that. I don't know why it happens so suddenly because it's random and even though life is harsh right now, it's not like I'd normally be feeling like that even then y'know? And so, since it's not so much about processing my emotions or thoughts, I just try to distract myself immediately either with a YouTube video or trying out something new in a doodle or I put on one of my currently favorite songs or artists that will make me think about the song itself or their voice(s). Might grab a fun book to immerse myself in another world too, or I open up Twitter and distract myself with what's new

Sophie

For me when i’m having trouble getting started on something especially if it’s like a painting i’m submitting or making for someone else I tell myself to make something absolutely horrible. So I just start making something and don’t think about it at all and the uglier and more embarrassing it is the better because I have really low confidence and am never satisfied with what i make and know I could always do better so the ugly drawing makes me realize that when I’m too busy comparing myself to how much better i could be i forget how much better I actually am. This might be slightly harder to do for you but maybe you could try it with just like a random song you find or something. I hope this helps!! We are always here for you 💕

GraceH

I’ve been having a pounding/rapid heart rate before bed lately and my physical therapist recommended a technique that you can use by tapping your fingers or using a theragun gently on low speed first on the sternum, then above the bellybutton, then below the bellybutton, then at about low waistband level, spending about 30ish seconds on each spot! If I’m remembering right, it’s supposed to help calm a specific nerve! It’s been helping me (along with more melatonin), and I hope it works if you see this and try it because I know how awful of a sensation it is! You’ve got this!!

Elizabeth

Hi, i’ve also had a hard time the past couple days. I got into a bad car accident yesterday. At random moments, I feel panicked and get flashbacks. I’m trying to do everything that I usually do when I feel anxious but nothing is working. I just want to say thank you for everyone who shared their own experiences. It reminds me that I’m not alone and I’m going to try some of your suggestions as well

Amanduh

Sometimes getting myself to write things down really helps! That or even just like doodling and getting myself to really focus on that helps at least get me in a better mind space to handle any anxieties You got this!!

Megan
>>130442051

Samzies - those tags and lines on socks should’ve been a hint! and all that extra processing and input takes additional energy and contributes to burnout and all sorts. Now I take it into account when budgeting my energy and planning my schedules - cause I have to live to fight another day!

Michel

I'm not well with words, but I'll just say hang in there! Stay strong. It'll be tough but you'll win in the end, I'm sure. You're the one in control of your thoughts, they're not the one controlling you. Whenever I feel like I'm spiraling down into that dark place and I'm not in an environment in which I can handle those emotions and thoughts alone, I literally just slam the door in my head and close them in a room, then focus on something, anything else.

Neeko

Aww I'm sorry I missed it but you have a fanbase that loves and appreciates you and Blaire. So if you ever feel alone and wanna go live, we'll lift you up there my guy! That way, you don't have to feel like you're in a space where no one is around.

Alison Renaud

Sometimes I get these weird out of body moments or feel like Im not in my head, I dont know how to explain it. Ive never had anxiety or panick attacks. Its just these weird very rare moments when everything catches up to me. I usually just have to lie down and breathe. I don't focus on anything else except breathing and eventually my mind and body become one again. But my breathing is usually calm and I feel fine, but just not in my body if that makes sense. It's so weird when it happens and then it clears and I'm fine again, I just have no fucking clue what causes it. I've been listening to rain and Thunder videos on yt to fall asleep. I'm in one of my not sleeping cycles and it's rough when I have to wake up at 4am for work. Maybe just try and watch some Seventeen videos or ones you know make you happy and smile I usually put on one of my fav movies. Sometimes I just lay in the dark light incense and blast dubstep lol. Or I go for a walk or drive. Just anything if I can't focus or need to get out of my own head. Go shopping, get a kpop album, get Starbucks or something you havent in a while. You deserve to treat yourself no matter how small. Or just sleep. We will still be here when you need us. You CAN get through this and be stronger for it.

Incheonguy

The cycle continues.

Mali
>>130441958

Thanks for the tip! I know increasing my vitamin D intake won't suddenly cure my depression that I've had since I was a child lol but it could certainly improve my quality of life. Since I'm also a vegetarian since I was like 7 I'm at a greater risk of quite a few vitamin etc deficiencies anyways so I should really look into it more for my own sake.

Incheonguy
>>130465709

I paid same as you. You can fall for his "Self care" routine of excuses if you want to, but the rest of us don't have to. They are 2 years of failing to deliver content on time or in many cases ever. They want a pat on the back for doing what they promised to do, that we pay for, 1 time. NOPE, do it a hundred times in a row consistently and maybe I will say "good job" until then this "mental health journey" is a path to more excuses and we have already seen it many time. I don't buy it. I am sorry, they aren't credible. They need a good year to rebuild that trust some of you are throwing at them freely and thats good on you. Not me. move on. They need to be called on shit.