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Weird Choices - Punctuation [feat. Kris Newton] (Patreon)

Published:
2022-03-28 20:44:20
Imported:
2026-06
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Downloads

  • Weird Choices - Punctuation [feat. Kris Newton].mp3

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Content

Look, if you're ready to never look at punctuation the same way again, then you are welcome to click play. This episode is suffused with horniness and rage at the vagaries of punctuation so be prepared for extra spiciness and maybe some flashbacks to those comma worksheets we all had to do.

This episode contains: 

  • Unsolicited em dash ponderings
  • Timothy Dalton feelings
  • Fine distinctions about interruption fucks
  • Cthulu's bedroom voice
  • Stunt fucking
  • MeganBob's superhero name
  • ‽‽‽‽‽
  • A saucy couplet
  • All our exes live in The Elements of Style
  • The gray goo semicolon threat

Files

Previews only

Comments

RachelK

Dammit, Kris, I am literally in the middle of putting dinner in the Crock-Pot and I have to stop because I feel so strongly about the honor of the comma, also known as The Greatest Dungeon Fuck You Will Ever Have. Who are you going to turn to if you want to use more than two toys? The question mark? No, it's the comma. Even if you want big, complex lists separated by your waifu the semicolon, she's not doing a thing on a list without the comma there to help her out. But there's more. The comma is the one who's going to sustain a single, intense scene over time. Semicolons are going to change the scene on you. You're on the St. Andrew's Cross; they take you down and move you to the bench. That's great and all, but what if you want a single lengthy, sustained scene, slowly building energy as you're raised to heights that you never dreamed you could reach, being edged within an inch of your life until you weep for sweet release? Not the semicolon. The semicolon's going to give you too many pauses. Commas have momentum. ...although you do need to bring the period in to finish you off. But if the semicolon is already a threesome...

Kris Newton
>>80787548

Do you truly think that I, Kris Newton, have never felt unreasonably self-satisfied about a perfectly-placed comma? Of course I have. But I think Bob was almost right when they said that commas are like tribbles; they're like gremlins (you know, Gremlins gremlins). You can have your Gizmo, your perfect pet comma, but meanwhile the rest of the little bastards are tearing your house apart. I take your point about using commas for a continuous build, and it's frustratingly true that no other punctuation has the right weight for the job. I do love that feeling, comma, but living with you is a pain in the ass.

Sam Sprague

I think as writers, you’re both unfortunately obligated to maintain a relationship with the comma, while the rest of us can have a nice hookup without even telling it our real name.

RachelK
>>80787548

I never have that problem with commas. Fucking adverbs, now... (I absolutely love Weird Choices. Took me 20 minutes of listening to go from "how do you even rank the fuckability of punctuation" to "how DARE you talk about Sir like that.")

Hard Choices
>>80796955

It's so true! We are obliged to keep their toothbrush in our bathroom. No matter how much we want to throw it in the trash...

Hard Choices
>>80787548

I think it's just that commas, at their worst, are going to nitpick every tiny thing and never let you get anything done. When done well? Perfection. When they're fighting against you? Nothing is worse!