Loving You - Chapter 32 (Patreon)

I knew something was wrong before I opened my eyes. The sunlight from the window was streaming in the room giving it a natural light that pulled me out of my slumber. I look around the room and see no one in here with me. That's strange. Usually Damien was here waiting for me to "rise and shine". I sit up in the bed and smile to myself. I got to go home today. I had been thinking about that a lot in the past few weeks that I've been in this stuffy hospital room. Where exactly would I go? I didn't think Damien would allow me to go back to my original lifestyle, and for some reason that was ok with me.

As long as I was with Damien I would be happy. I knew I'd have a hard time explaining it to my brother but eventually he would understand and have to accept my wishes. Everything Damien and I had gone through together, made us farther apart at times and closer at times. And somewhere along the way, I fell in love with him. I couldn't tell you how that happened, but it did. And now that I was free to go home, as long as I was with Damien I would be home. Because he was my home.

I scan the room for any sign that Damien would be back and stop short when I see something on the chair in the far corner. My mouth runs dry as I take it in. The blue teddy bear he'd bought was sitting in the corner with a note strapped to it. I reach out of the bed and grab the bears soft fur, unweaving the note from its bow tie. I take a deep breath and begin to read.

Nevaeh,

I have already told you on several occasions, but I love you. And I always will. And that is why I cannot let you come with me. I'd just be taking you from what you really want. I'd be depriving you of your freedom and happiness by forcing you to be with me once more. As much as it pains me, I have to let you go. To let you be free and happy. Even if it means I can't be apart of that happiness. I already messed up so much for you. I can only hope that you can find it in yourself to forgive me. No one has ever made me feel this way. But right now I want to do what I feel is right by you. I love you. I will scream it to the heavens above and the gates of hell below. I love you so much it hurts. And it pains me to do this. I love you Nevaeh. I'll never stop.

-Damien

Water falls on the note and I touch my face to realize that I'm crying. He's gone. He really let me go. I should be happy, but I'm not. I want to scream and cry and kick and do whatever it takes to make him come back, but he wont. And I can't. The door to the room opens and a part of me wishes it was Damien coming in to tell me it was a sick joke, and that I'm coming with him. But it only nails the coffin shut when I see my brother on the other side of that door with an outfit for me to wear home. I look back at the bear. And hug it tightly to my chest. Sobbing as hard as I could.