Loving You - Chapter 35 (Patreon)

I walked home from the library, haven taken my last final and the break had commenced for me. The sun was already beginning to set and the chill of the air was biting my nose. The snow crunched loudly beneath my feet. I turned down my brothers street, his house lit up in the distance. We decorated the day after Thanksgiving and have been adding for my amusement since. His yard was lit up the brightest on the street. But he didn't mind since it occupied me from being depressed. I unlock the door and walk in, the aroma of baked chicken wafting through the air making my mouth water.

"Mark? I'm home!" I take off my scarf and wrap it on the coat hanger, walking through the living room.

"Mark?" I try again. I hear muffled voices coming from the kitchen. Whoever it is he's speaking to is really getting it because he does not sound happy. I debate on whether or not I should leave him and his guest to argue or go interrupt them letting them know I was home. I hear marks voice getting louder, sounding angry more than anything.

I decide to walk into the dining room and see what's going on. I round the corner and see mark standing over someone with an angry expression on his face until he seems me then shock is quick to consume his features.

I smile at him. "Mark I've been calling your name for like-" I gasp unable to continue my words. The guest Mark was having words with turns to look at me. There at the dining room table sits Damien. He looks the complete same as he has always looked. Beautiful, perfect, confident, charming. His dark hair is falling in his face. His crystal blue irises piercing me to the core. I thought I was getting over him, but I wasn't. I was far from it. I open my mouth and close it, not knowing what to say.

I can feel my eyes stinging as the tears well up and spill over. I look to my brother and his face is filled with pity for me. Damien stands from the chair he was sitting in, his lean body stretching to its full length. He walks closer to me until he's standing over me, his warm body heat seeping into me. He reaches a hand out and touches my cheek. I gasp lightly from the feeling.

"You- you're really here.." He smiles lightly at me nodding his head slightly. His thumb tracing a pattern on my cheek. Then he envelopes me in a hug. Pulling me tightly into his body. And for the first time in 7 months I hear his voice.

"God, I missed you."

He pulls back and leans into me, kissing me lightly on the lips. His soft lips molding into mine as if we had never been apart. He looks me in my eyes, his bright irises looking deep within me. And he smiles.

~

Damien

Later that night we're having dinner. Nevaeh, her brother and I. He was glaring daggers at me and I couldn't stop staring at Nevaeh. I had missed her so much. She looked as beautiful as she did the day I left her. I could see the faint indentation on her cheeks where the muscles were damaged from Ramirez. But she still looked beautiful. Her cheeks had a constant red glaze on them and she was staring at her plate with such an intensity. Mark finally breaks the silence.

"I hope you don't plan on taking her again. You do realize I wont allow that." I had to hold in the laugh that. He couldn't stop me if he wanted. This guy was very brave or very stupid. But since he was Nevaeh's older brother I was guessing he was just overprotective.

"Don't worry. I don't plan on doing that this time." I smile at him but he still looks angry. Ah well his opinion of me doesn't matter unless it affects Nevaeh's opinion. And judging by the look on her face it didn't.

"Then why are you here." His voice cuts through the air.

"For Nevaeh of course. But not to snatch her from her life." She looks up from her plate in shock at me. I return a smile to her.

"May I speak to you, alone." Nevaeh looks to her brother for permission and he finally gives in. He stands up and walks to the kitchen muttering something about needing a drink. I look around the small home. Well it was small compared to what I was used to. But it was a nice size for the average family. Very cute I guess you could say. More than enough room for Nevaeh and her brother. I shift my eyes to Nevaeh and she's avoiding my gaze. I know she knows what I did to Gabriel. I saw the footage and the trackers. He should be glad I didn't track him down and kill him.

But after seeing and hearing her reaction to him I know she knew I was different. I know she sensed it in me. That's why she was so cautious currently.

"Nevaeh." I try. She only looks at me. Her bright green eyes shining. Words cant describe how much I missed her. And in the time she had been away from me I had turned into a person she would never be able to face if she knew. I had done things that made what I did to Gabriel look like child's play. But I needed her. I couldn't take her back with me because I didn't want to hurt her. I couldn't control myself. worse than last time.

"Nevaeh I want to take you with me more than anything. But I cant. And I wont until you an I are both ready. I'll let you stay here and live your life, but I refuse to stay away from you any longer. I'll be seeing you on a daily basis, I've moved myself closer to the area until the time is right for me to take you away." She looked at me through my explanation never once interrupting me. Listening intently. I finish my explanation and she speaks to me.

"So you're not going to make me leave?" Her small voice carries across the table. I smile at her. Still so innocent. Even though she was currently carrying a 9mm gun on her. I could tell as soon as she walked in. I had been in this business my whole life. Her stance was different and the way she carried herself.

"Baby, I would never make you. But I need to make sure I can control myself if you decide to stay with me one day."

She looks at me confused and I decide to let it stay that way. I wasn't the same person I used to be. Not even close. Her leaving my life was by far the worst thing that could have ever happened to me. And I had less control around her than I used to.

"Nevaeh. You cannot stay with me. It wouldn't be safe. For you. I don't know what I'm capable of honestly. And I know having you around would only further that uncertainty. So I wont put you in that position."

My phone goes off in my pocket and I pull it out to look at the screen.

'Time to go'

It was Jax letting me know my time was up. I stand up just as her brother walks back into the dining room.

"Thank you for the meal but I think it's time for me to depart." I walk towards the door standing in the doorway as I hear Nevaeh's light footsteps padding behind me. I place a hand on the small of her back and direct her towards the door. I turn to see her brother watching us with a worried expression on his face. He wasn't dumb. He may be rash and protective of his sister, but after our little dispute in the hospital he knew he couldn't stop me if he wanted. Even though he was Nevaeh's brother, I'd kill him before I let him stop me from taking what's mine. Nevaeh may not be happy about that though so I was at war with myself.

I stand in the doorway and look at Nevaeh's face. She looked smaller than she used to be. She also looked weary. Her once bright eyes looked dull and broken, as did the air around her. She looked broken. But now I knew it was because of me. And me being with her was the best thing for the both of us. She smiled at me and I had to keep my emotions hooded to prevent her from seeing any weakness from me. Every time I looked at her face rage boiled deep within me from the scars that would be forever on her cheeks. I'll never forget the weeks she went to rehab to learn how to use the damaged muscle in her mouth.

I reach down and grab her face in my hands and lean in to kiss her. Her soft lips moving against mine. Gosh how I missed her. My pocket rings again pulling me out of my lust filled daze. I pull back and look in her eyes again. All I see is love there. For me. And my heart swells at the thought. She loved me. And I was one of the worst people that had ever walked this earth. But she still found it in her heart to love me and look past all the flaws. I smile at her mustering all the emotions I was feeling hoping she could see how much she meant to me.

"I love you. Nevaeh." I caress her cheek once more, my thumb running lightly over the rigid scar on her cheek.

She smiles back at me. "I love you too."

"You don't know how bad I've missed hearing you say that ." I open the door and my sleek car is sitting on the curb with Jax in the drivers seat. The snow falling lightly around it melting as it touches the hood. I look around the neighborhood. So this is where Nevaeh has been living. And where I would be visiting for the next I don't know how long. I turn back to her to see her studying me intently with a relaxed expression on her face.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Her small voice carries.

"Of course. I'm going to see you everyday this holiday and beyond that. I will never leave you again." She frowns slightly at me.

"You promise?"

"I promise."

The horn blares. Jax was letting me know it was time for us to move. I couldn't be in one place at a time, especially now since my rampages after I left Nevaeh. But I wouldn't let her know that.

"Goodnight baby." She smiles at me, a beautiful smile that brings heat to my very core.

"Goodnight, Damien."

I walk down the steps and through the front yard of the house, getting in my car. Jax pulls away from the curb taking us to our new location. And for the first time in almost a year, I felt at peace once again.