Loving You - Chapter 34 (Patreon)

I walk into the library. The chill of the winter air following me as I enter through the automatic doors. It was finals week of the fall semester and I had to keep studying to get at least an A in my classes. Luckily with the combination of finals and studying Damien hasn't been on my mind so much lately. It was just the late nights when I'd lie alone in my bed that it would be bad.

I walk past the receptionist giving her a slight smile and walk up the stairs to the furthest cubby of the library away from all the people. I hadn't been very social since Damien's departure. I wince at the thought. Damien hadn't been on my mind very much lately so when I brought him up it would still hurt. I sat in the cubicle pulling my books and notes out beginning to study.

"Hey."

A deep voice startles me from my silence and I look up, my heart jumping in my chest. Gabriel of all people was standing in front of me. In the public library. He had a bag on his back and a small smile on his face. A myriad of emotions shot through me. But one emotion was clear. Rage. I stood up quickly pulling my handgun from my pocket aiming it directly between his eyes. My breathing was slow, my mind was calm, and my hands weren't shaking. In the time Damien had left me I took gun classes. I had never felt so defenseless in my life than when I was in his house when it was under attack. And I never wanted to feel that way again.

So here I was in the middle of the library, aiming a gun at one the men that I hated the most in the world. He immediately threw his hands up in surrender. Shock evident on his face.

"Whoah whoah hey! I come in peace. I swear!" I glare at him with all the hatred I can muster.

"What the hell do you want." I get out through clenched teeth.

"Just to talk." He slowly speaks back to me. He motions to sit and I slowly put the gun back in its concealed spot. But not letting my guard down.

He's wearing a plain red T-shirt and blue jeans. He's also got on sunglasses. There are multiple fading scars on his body where he obviously had stitches. His hair was also cut shorter than it was the last time I saw him. He takes a seat in front of me and pulls out a book and notepad from his backpack. He takes a deep breath and finally takes off his sunglasses and I try and hide my shock.

His right eye is sealed completely shut.

"It's ok... I deserved it." He looks at me with only one of his deep green eyes, sorrow and regret in his eyes.

"Look, Nevaeh. For everything that happened to you in that warehouse I am so sorry. I know nothing I say or do can ever atone for what I caused you to go through. But money was my prime objective. And I just couldnt turn it down."

"But I swear to you I had no idea that you were pregnant honest. And I'm so sorry for your loss." I dont respond and he fidgets a little in his seat.

"What happened to your eye." I whisper. I had a small tingling in the back of my mind that I already knew, but I had to hear him say it.

"Damien." He speaks the name as if it was the forbidden word.

"As soon as he broke into the warehouse I ditched. But somehow he found me. And he made me pay for my sins." He motions to his eye.

"This wasn't the only thing he took from me." He bends over the table and lifts his jean leg. I gasp. His leg is prosthetic. Damien took his leg, and his eye. Damien. The man I had fallen in love with and cried over all these years took something so important to life.

"But it's ok though. I thought for sure he was going to kill me." He laughs lightly.

"I'm real glad he didn't. He gave me a whole new perspective on life and everything. Gave me reason to start over and do good and be happy that I'm still alive because I don't deserve to be after what I did." He smiles a little sadly.

"But I cant say I don't miss being able to see out of both my eyes." He goes back to his notebook. and looks back up.

"I cant apologize enough to you. I just hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me."

I stare at him in disbelief. He may have been the reason all that happened to me but he wasn't the one that did it. Damien had taken his sight and ability to walk from him, yet he sat in front of me asking for forgiveness. And strangely enough, my heart ached for him. Bad. Then something popped into my head.

"Wait. He didn't kill you?" Gabriel visibly stiffens.

"I don't know why he didn't. All I know is that I woke up in a hospital room, the doctors telling me I had been attacked in an alley and was found by an anonymous tip. But I knew what had really happened." He flips the page on his notebook and silence envelopes him.

"What I cant seem to figure out is, why are you here? Alone." I stop writing in my notebook and look up at him. He's studying me intently.

"What do you mean.." I question him.

"If Damien went through all the trouble of finding me and bringing me to the brink of death, and leaving me alive for whatever reason on your behalf, why isn't he with you right now?"

I laugh bitterly. "He loved me. So he let me go." The silence stretched on between us. No one saying anything. I look up at Gabriel, my heart squeezing for him. I reach across the table and take hold of his hand which I notice has the top half of his pinky gone. I feel my eyes watering up.

"Gabriel, no matter what you did, I am so sorry this happened to you. I'm so so sorry." He returns my smile and squeezes my hand back. I know I was angry at first, but now I am sad for him. At least my child isnt suffering. And never had the chance to. But him, with every step he took, everytime he blinked, hell everytime he opened his eyes to look around he was suffering.

"I forgive you." I smile at him. Letting him know how much sorrow I felt for him. His eye began to water and my heart clenched even further.

"Thank you."