[Modern Family] Ch: 31 & 32 [Sixty Grand and a Date] (Patreon)

The bell over the door jingled faintly again as the five familiar faces walked into the Comic Center.

Jason had seen those faces on TV countless times before, but seeing them in person still stunned him for a few moments.

Leonard entered first, wearing his usual jacket and glasses. Sheldon followed, a messenger bag slung over his shoulder. Howard walked with Raj, his outfit making it clear to Jason that TV hadn't done his fashion sense justice. Penny came last, glancing around the store with the patient look of someone who knew she'd be spending part of her afternoon in a place full of superheroes and nerds.

Jason kept his expression controlled while his mind went completely off the rails.

'You've got to be kidding me. Sheldon Cooper, Leonard Hofstadter, Howard Wolowitz, Rajesh Koothrappali, and Penny are standing ten feet away from me.'

Leonard noticed Stuart behind the counter and gave him a friendly wave as the group approached. "Hey, Stuart, how is it going?"

Stuart's brief spark of enthusiasm from hearing Jason ask about expensive vintage comics disappeared so quickly that Jason almost felt guilty for witnessing it.

"Oh, great. If you define 'great' as being systematically crushed by the corporate juggernaut down the street."

Stuart slumped against the counter and began rearranging a small stack of comics that had clearly been moved enough times to qualify for frequent-flyer miles.

Sheldon adjusted the strap of his bag while considering Stuart's statement with complete seriousness. "Well, that is a mathematically poor definition of 'great,' Stuart. Though I must admit, the new shop, Capes & Cafes on the next block, offers a delightful complimentary espresso bar. Their graphic novel section is also alphabetized by both author and artist, which provides an exceptionally satisfying cataloging experience."

Leonard immediately drove his elbow into Sheldon's side. "Sheldon, could you please stop advertising Stuart's competition while standing inside Stuart's store?"

Sheldon looked genuinely confused by the criticism. "I wasn't advertising anything. I was simply providing relevant comparative information concerning the two establishments."

"That somehow makes it worse," Leonard replied while giving Stuart an apologetic look. "We didn't know somebody opened another place this close."

Penny glanced around the nearly empty store before her eyes briefly settled on Jason. She clearly didn't recognize him, which Jason appreciated because suddenly dealing with five fictional characters becoming real was already enough excitement for one afternoon.

"Yeah, honey, don't sweat it," Penny said as she looked back toward Stuart. "Your place has history and personality. It's kinda like a cozy little nerd cave where everybody already knows where everything is."

Stuart slowly lifted his head. "Thanks, Penny. Yesterday, a kid walked inside, looked around for thirty seconds, and asked whether this was the historic ruins of the old comic shop."

Penny's sympathetic smile weakened. "Okay, that kid sounds like a jerk."

"The new place has leather couches, a gaming lounge, new computers, an espresso bar, and vibrant healthy employees who don't sweat when they look directly at the sun," Stuart continued while staring somewhere beyond the group. "Nobody has bought anything here since Tuesday, and I've started calculating how many meals can be made from ketchup packets."

Howard leaned one elbow against the counter. "Come on, Stuart. Things can't possibly be that bad because you've still got loyal customers. We're standing right here."

Stuart slowly looked toward him. "Howard, you've been inside for approximately two minutes, and Raj is currently using my display case to check his hair."

Everyone turned toward Raj.

Raj immediately stepped away from the glass and pretended he had been studying a nearby Green Lantern figure the entire time.

Stuart sighed before gesturing weakly toward Jason. "Meanwhile, I have a gentleman standing over there who was actually about to ask me about Silver and Bronze Age key issues before you guys barged inside and started narrating my impending bankruptcy."

All five of them turned toward Jason together.

Jason suddenly understood why background characters in television shows always looked uncomfortable whenever the entire cast stared at them.

Sheldon's attention sharpened immediately.

His eyes moved over Jason's clothes, watch, shoes, and then toward the section of older comics Jason had been examining. Jason could practically see the calculations happening behind his expression.

"Silver Age?" Sheldon asked as he stepped slightly closer. "Fascinating. Are you an actual investor, or are you merely someone who enjoys the tactile sensation of decomposing newsprint from the 1960s? Because if it's the latter, I should warn you that Stuart's humidity-control system appears to consist primarily of an oscillating fan purchased sometime during the Reagan administration."

Stuart stared at Sheldon. "I bought that fan three years ago."

Sheldon glanced toward the fan sitting behind the counter. "Then its appearance is substantially more concerning than I initially estimated."

Leonard closed his eyes briefly before looking toward Jason. "Please ignore him because he doesn't understand the concept of helping somebody make a sale."

"I understand sales perfectly well," Sheldon replied. "A seller exchanges goods or services for monetary compensation according to an agreed valuation between participating parties."

Leonard gestured toward Jason. "Then maybe stop telling the participating party that Stuart stores valuable comics beside a dying fan."

Jason finally chuckled and stepped closer to the counter. "It's fine because I'm still interested. I'm Jason Miller."

Leonard extended his hand first. "Leonard Hofstadter, and these are Sheldon, Howard, Raj, and Penny."

Jason shook Leonard's hand while deliberately resisting the urge to say he already knew every single one of them.

Howard gave him a casual nod, while Raj offered a small wave because Penny standing only a few feet away made introducing himself verbally considerably more complicated.

Penny smiled toward Jason. "Hi, Jason. Are you actually about to spend serious money on old comic books?"

Jason slipped his hands into his pockets. "Depends on what Stuart has available because I'm looking for long-term collectibles. First appearances, important issues, high grades, and anything with enough history behind it to keep appreciating."

Howard looked impressed. "Wait, that's genius. I've been telling women I collect comic books when I should've been telling them I manage a multimillion-dollar investment portfolio."

Penny looked toward him. "You could describe your entire collection as a retirement portfolio and I'd still remember the Batman utility belt hanging inside your bedroom."

Howard grinned. "And yet you remember exactly what I keep in my bedroom. I'm choosing to take that as a good sign."

Leonard shook his head while Stuart's attention returned completely to Jason.

"You're serious about first appearances?" Stuart asked.

Jason nodded. "Very serious if the price makes sense."

Stuart remained quiet for a few seconds.

Something changed behind his tired eyes.

He looked toward the back room, then toward Jason, and finally back toward the group. His fingers tapped lightly against the counter while he appeared to argue with himself internally.

Jason noticed the hesitation immediately. "You've got something."

Stuart exhaled through his nose. "I might have something."

Sheldon's eyebrows rose.

That reaction alone got everyone's attention.

Stuart pushed himself away from the counter and walked toward a locked door behind the register. "I wasn't planning on selling this for several decades. It was basically my retirement fund, assuming I survived operating this store long enough to reach retirement."

Howard glanced around the nearly empty shop. "Based on what you've been saying, that assumption sounds increasingly optimistic."

Stuart stopped with his hand on the doorknob and looked toward Howard. "Thank you for helping."

"You're very welcome, Stuart."

"That wasn't gratitude."

Howard nodded thoughtfully. "That makes considerably more sense."

Stuart disappeared into the back room.

Jason looked toward Sheldon and immediately noticed the theoretical physicist staring at the locked doorway with intense curiosity.

"What do you think he has?" Jason asked.

Sheldon folded his hands together. "Given Stuart's statement regarding retirement value, the age parameters you specified, his unusual hesitation, and his extensive knowledge of collectible comics, several possibilities exist. However, I would consider Amazing Fantasy number fifteen an especially desirable candidate."

Jason looked at him.

Sheldon continued without noticing the sudden interest. "It contains the first appearance of Spider-Man, published by Marvel Comics in 1962. A sufficiently high-grade copy would represent a substantial collectible asset, although investing primarily on projected appreciation introduces considerable speculative risk."

Jason's mouth twitched.

'Of course Sheldon guessed it from three clues.'

Leonard looked toward Jason. "You'll get used to him doing that."

"I certainly hope nobody gets used to excellence," Sheldon replied.

A minute later, Stuart returned carrying a protective case with both hands.

Jason's eyes locked onto it immediately.

Even before Stuart placed it on the counter, Jason recognized the cover.

Amazing Fantasy #15.

Spider-Man's first appearance.

Jason stepped closer.

The comic had been professionally graded and sealed, and the condition was astonishing considering its age. Stuart set it carefully on the counter with the nervous attention of someone placing down an organ needed for transplantation.

"I bought this years ago from a collector who needed money quickly," Stuart explained while keeping one hand near the case. "I've kept it locked away ever since because selling it always felt like selling the only intelligent financial decision I ever made."

Sheldon leaned forward until Leonard caught the back of his jacket and prevented him from getting any closer.

Stuart looked toward Jason. "Near-mint graded CGC 9.1 copy of Amazing Fantasy number fifteen from 1962."

Howard's eyebrows climbed. "You've had that hidden back there this entire time?"

Stuart gave him a tired look. "Yes, because displaying my retirement plan beside people who sometimes open collectible toys to see whether the joints move seemed irresponsible."

Howard slowly lowered the Superman figure he had unconsciously picked up from a nearby display.

Jason studied the comic through the protective case.

He remembered what key Spider-Man issues would become worth decades later. Even with the differences already appearing in this universe, something like Amazing Fantasy #15 remained about as close to a blue-chip collectible as comics could get.

'If superheroes and Marvel comics stay popular, this thing's only going upward over the long run.'

Stuart cleared his throat. "I always planned to keep it, but right now I could use the money more than future seventy-year-old Stuart could use another investment."

Penny glanced around the store. "You'd use the money to fix this place?"

Stuart nodded. "Better displays, new lighting, some computers, gaming tables, maybe replace the carpet before scientists classify whatever is currently living inside it. I could actually compete with the place down the street instead of waiting for customers to come back because they feel guilty."

Leonard smiled slightly. "That actually sounds like a pretty good plan."

Sheldon raised one finger. "Provided Stuart doesn't waste valuable floor space on an espresso bar. Coffee and collectible paper products create an entirely avoidable spill hazard."

Stuart looked toward Jason again.

Jason gently tapped one finger against the counter. "What are you asking?"

Stuart swallowed.

"Eighty thousand dollars."

The store became remarkably quiet.

Penny's eyes widened.

Howard's mouth opened.

Leonard removed his glasses and cleaned them even though nothing appeared to be wrong with the lenses.

Raj's eyebrows shot upward while he silently mouthed something toward Howard.

Howard looked at him. "Yes, eighty thousand actual dollars."

Penny stared at the comic again. "For a comic book?"

Sheldon turned toward her. "Penny, referring to Amazing Fantasy number fifteen as merely one comic book is analogous to referring to the Hope Diamond as an unusually successful rock."

Penny folded her arms. "It's paper with Spider-Man on it."

Sheldon looked mildly offended. "I suddenly understand why museums place ropes around valuable objects."

Jason said nothing. He simply raised one eyebrow and gave Stuart a flat, deadpan look.

Stuart lasted approximately three seconds.

"Sixty thousand dollars."

Jason's eyebrow lowered.

Leonard stared at Stuart. "You just negotiated against yourself by twenty thousand dollars."

Stuart looked toward him helplessly. "He did the face."

"What face?" Leonard asked.

"That face where somebody with money silently realizes you're desperate."

Jason fought back a laugh. "I didn't say anything."

"You didn't need to because your eyebrow did most of the negotiation."

Jason looked down at the comic again.

Sixty thousand dollars was still a serious amount of money, especially considering he had recently spent two hundred thousand on the fourplex. He had roughly $310,000 left in the bank after wiring $50,000 into his brokerage account and completing the property purchase, ignoring smaller transaction costs and ordinary expenses that were already tracked separately.

He could afford sixty thousand without damaging his property plans or draining his emergency reserve.

More importantly, opportunities like this weren't guaranteed to appear twice. In the future, at a good auction, it could go from anywhere between $650,000 and $900,000+.

Jason extended his hand across the counter. "Sixty thousand, assuming the certification and ownership paperwork check out."

Stuart stared at the offered hand.

For a moment, he seemed unsure whether Jason was serious.

"You're buying it?"

Jason smiled. "Once everything checks out, I'm buying it for sixty thousand."

Stuart grabbed his hand with both of his.

"Deal."

Leonard's mouth dropped open slightly.

Howard immediately looked between Jason and the comic. "Did I just watch somebody spend sixty thousand dollars faster than I decide whether to add guacamole?"

Penny stared at Jason with renewed curiosity. "Okay, I'm officially changing my question. What exactly do you do for a living?"

Jason released Stuart's hand and smiled. "Right now, streaming, investing, collecting, owning a quadplex and renting it, making questionable financial decisions that I'm hoping become brilliant financial decisions later."

Penny nodded slowly. "That somehow explained everything and nothing at the same time. I only got the renting part."

Raj leaned toward Howard and whispered something against his ear.

Howard listened before looking toward Jason. "Raj wants to know whether you're interested in adopting a 27-year-old Indian astrophysicist."

Raj immediately elbowed him.

Howard rubbed his ribs. "Apparently I wasn't supposed to include the adoption part."

Sheldon continued staring at the comic with an expression Jason could only describe as intellectual hunger.

"You should store it vertically in an archival environment with stable temperature and humidity, minimal ultraviolet exposure, and adequate physical security," Sheldon said. "Also, because you've demonstrated a willingness to spend sixty thousand dollars on a single issue, I would strongly recommend you never disclose your home address around Howard."

Howard looked offended. "Why specifically me?"

Sheldon turned toward him. "Because Leonard would feel guilty, Raj would become distracted by the interior decorating, Penny has no interest in comic books, and Stuart already has sixty thousand dollars."

Stuart blinked.

Everyone slowly turned toward him.

The realization seemed to strike Stuart for the first time.

He had just sold a comic for sixty thousand dollars.

His tired expression disappeared.

"Sixty thousand dollars."

Leonard smiled. "Yeah, Stuart, you just made sixty thousand dollars."

Stuart stared at the counter as though expecting the number to vanish if he moved too quickly. "I can replace the carpet."

Penny laughed. "Honey, I think you can afford slightly more than carpet."

"I can replace the carpet and eat meat during the same month."

Howard placed one hand against Stuart's shoulder. "Don't change too quickly because wealth destroys people."

Stuart looked at him. "You still live with your mother."

Howard removed his hand. "I was trying to support you."

Jason chuckled while looking around the store again. The strange afternoon had already gone considerably further than he expected when he left home looking for vintage comics.

He had confirmed that The Big Bang Theory existed in this universe and met Sheldon, Leonard, Howard, Raj, Penny, and Stuart. He had also somehow purchased a near-mint copy of one of the most famous Marvel comics ever printed within minutes of meeting them.

Jason glanced toward Penny, who was still examining him with obvious curiosity, then toward Sheldon, who seemed more interested in the graded comic than the person buying it.

His smile slowly returned.

'Yeah, this world is getting a lot more interesting.'

Stuart carefully lifted the comic again. "I'll get the paperwork and certification information together. You probably want to verify everything before moving that much money."

Jason nodded. "Absolutely. Once it checks out, I'll handle the payment."

Stuart hugged the protective case against his chest for a moment before looking down at it.

"Goodbye, retirement Spider-Man."

Sheldon frowned. "That is an extremely peculiar name for an investment asset."

Stuart stared at him. "I've owned it longer than I've known you, Sheldon."

"That doesn't improve the name."

Leonard caught Sheldon by the shoulder and began steering him toward the new-release section. "Come on, Sheldon. Why don't you buy something from Stuart now that we've spent ten minutes reminding him his business is failing?"

Sheldon allowed himself to be redirected while continuing to look back toward the counter. "I purchase comics here every week. My contribution to Stuart's revenue stream has been both consistent and statistically predictable."

Stuart watched him walk away before looking toward Jason.

"You see what I deal with?"

Jason smiled as he looked at the group. "I think I'm starting to understand." He then checked if the comic book was real. He searched the grading company's official website for its serial number to make sure the grade, notes, and images matched the physical copy. He also inspected the plastic holder for any signs of tampering or cracks.

After nearly 20 minutes of checking, he finally processed the payment to Stuart's account and took the book, the certificates, and the paperwork.

When he turned around to go check out some new comics to read in his free time, he noticed that Sheldon's group was still there and Penny was looking at him. So, he gathered all his confidence and walked over to her.

"Hi," Jason said with a smile.

Penny looked up at him. "Hi again."

Jason slipped one hand into his pocket. "I hate beating around the bush, so I'm just gonna ask. You're beautiful. I'd like to take you out sometime, and before I embarrass myself any further, are you single?"

Penny blinked, clearly caught off guard. Then a grin slowly appeared on her face. "Wow. You really don't waste time, do you?"

Jason chuckled. "I've found wasting time usually just gives me more opportunities to say something stupid."

Penny glanced toward the graded comic in his hand. "And here I thought dropping sixty grand on Spider-Man was your way of impressing women."

"Did it work?"

Penny laughed. "A little less than you probably hoped."

Behind them, Howard looked toward Leonard with obvious amusement while Leonard suddenly found a nearby comic rack extremely interesting.

Penny looked back at Jason. She'd already noticed he was handsome, and watching him casually spend more money on one comic than she made in a year had definitely raised several questions she wouldn't mind getting answered.

"So what exactly are you asking me?" she said.

Jason smiled. "Dinner, drinks. Maybe somewhere that doesn't smell like old carpet and baby powder."

From several steps away, Sheldon looked up. He leaned toward Howard and asked, "Sarcasm?"

"What do you think?" Howard looked at him.

Penny laughed again before looking at Jason. "Okay. Dinner sounds good."

Jason held out his hand. "You free now?"

Penny looked at his hand. Well, her dating life was messy and chaotic.

Just recently, her disastrous relationship with the handsome, visiting physicist David Underhill had left her heartbroken when she discovered he was secretly married and had a wife back home. Before that, she had dated a guy named Eric, only to find out he was a deadbeat using her apartment to hide from his landlord. Her finances were also a complete mess because her muscular, brainless ex-boyfriend, Kurt, still owed her thousands of dollars that she knew she'd never see again.

And then there was Leonard. Ever since they agreed to "just be friends" after their brief, anxiety-ridden date a few months back, there had been this constant, exhausting emotional undercurrent between them. She was tired of the bad choices, tired of user exes, and honestly, a night out with a handsome, incredibly straightforward guy who could casually drop sixty grand on a comic book sounded like exactly the palate cleanser she needed to break her dating slump.

She looked back up at Jason, a confident smile replacing her hesitation, and slid her hand into his. "You know what? I am free. Let's go."

Behind them, Leonard's jaw subtly dropped. His shoulders slumped, and he suddenly began staring intensely at a random issue of Green Lantern to hide the look of absolute heartbreak washing over his face.

Howard nudged Raj, whispering, "And just like that, the alpha male sweeps in and takes the prize. Take notes, Raj. That's how it's done."

Raj just stared blankly, remaining completely silent since Penny was still within a ten-foot radius.

Penny gave the guys a quick wave. "See you later, guys. Good luck with the corporate juggernaut down the street, Stuart!"

As Jason and Penny walked out the door, the bell gave its weak little jingle, leaving the group standing in the quiet, dusty air of the Comic Center.

Sheldon watched the door close, completely unfazed, before turning to Leonard. "Well, look on the bright side, Leonard. With Penny gone, we'll no longer have to listen to her repeatedly ask why anyone would spend more than four dollars on a comic book. Now, Stuart, about that sixty thousand dollars you just acquired. I highly recommend investing it in a humidity control system that isn't just an oscillating fan you bought at a garage sale."