Home
Creators
Search Recent Random
Posts
Search DMs Popular Hash Lookup Tags Random
Importer
Import FAQ
Register Favorites Keys Review DMs Logout
Community
Telegram ThePornDude
Home Creators Posts Import Register Favorites Logout

April Question Thread (Patreon)

Published:
2021-04-05 19:45:46
Imported:
2026-06

Content

You know the music, time to dance.

Comments

Keith David

Will there ever be inhouse snark tank halo matches or ant other lobbies for games? (Inhouse meaning viewer custom.games if you may not have been aware)

Logan Paul has been the WWE United States Champion for over 90 days, and has defended it fucking ONCE

Hello Dead Inside, Slightly-less Dead Inside, and the dude with merch that literally says “Kill Me”. In the past, you three have talked about your distaste for anime fans and anime in general, and although this reduces me to tears like the pathetic bitch I am, it does give me comfort that Dragon Ball Z (my favorite anime) seems to be one of the sole exceptions. I could honestly go on and on about this show, but I’ll keep my question brief. Q: What is your favorite ANYTHING in Dragon Ball? By “anything“, I do mean anything; a character, a technique, a transformation, or even a specific moment. For me, Vegeta was always my favorite character in the show. He was a far more interesting character than Goku, had actual depth, and he was such a badass rival that basically every Shōnen anime that has come out since has a “Vegeta” copy. Love you guys, and thank you for putting in the work to entertain us as the world continues to disintegrate.

Dylan Lives

Hello, Billy, Mandy, and Grim, I am here to ask, what are some of your favorite gimmick levels in games, or just gimmicks in entertainment, love the show and fuck if I don't keep laughing in front of customers while listening

Benus

Hello Borat, Dorat, and Doug, I have a question Q: Given how big weeks have been celebrating Stone Ocean announcement this weekend, what are some Gaming announcements that have made y'all the most excited, PS Chris is hot for a twink

DundurHead

Hello my favorite internet boys, this question is mainly for Sween. Q: How do you feel about min/maxing in DnD? I have always found that it makes the game boring for any player that is making a narratively fun character when there is some dick who is making himself the main character with beefed up stats.

Jacques 552

Greetings you snarky, snarky gentlemen. Q: what’s a piece of media that’s too painfully cringy/horribly written for you to enjoy? Thanks for all the hard work.

el.brollo.loco

Howdy boyos! Been a long time fan of the three of you and a patron since month 1. I’m an Evangelical Christian who enjoys dark and fucked up humor sometimes and you guys bring that in spades. You guys also have some pretty valid criticisms of religion that I try to take to heart to improve our reputation. My question is, what is a redeeming quality you see in religion, if any? The community aspect, the belief in something more important than yourself, the altruistic instinct, or nothing at all? Whatever your answers are I’ll be glad to hear them. God bless you all and keep doin what you’re doing. Happy Easter!

LeshenLord

Q: What are your opinions on time travel in fiction? Do paradoxes make it too nonsensical to ever take seriously? The best use of it I've seen is in the show Steins Gate.

Zerowolf

Hello you two human traitors and loyal citizen of the Emperor of Mankind Q: What are your favorite cartoons growing up and if you can what cartoon would you choose to live in if you had the choice

The man that will one day fuck your daughters

Whats up Keith David groupies. Is there anything that you like but couldn't see yourself doing? For example, i love to look of facial piercings but i dont think ill ever get any

Ryan

Hello Chris, Derrick and the Anti-Christ. Q: Imagine there is a man whose cum is one of the most delicious things you've ever had, like a five star meal at an expensive restaurant. It also acts as a super food and will give you all the nutrition you need for a week, like a better version of the D&D spell Goodberry. He'd let you try it out but only if you suck his 7 inch cock off to completion and he cums in your mouth. You have to swallow. Would any of you do that and if yes, how often? If any of you are a little bitch and are too scared to drink his cum, he'd be willing to make accommodations like dressing like a femboy or saying "here comes the airplane" before the dick goes into your mouth. I'd definitely do it, but not because I’m gay or anything like that. You can't kill yourself.

Hee Larvey Boswald

Hello little men inside my speakers who keep me awake while i drive long hours during the night! I ask this question to all to my friends because I feel like it says a lot about a person, so I figured I’d toss it in here. Current relationships aside, you have the opportunity to be with the person of your dreams- 10/10 body and personality, it can be an ongoing thing or a one night stand with no hard feelings, absolute dream come true. The only catch is that they have the absolute raunchiest Boston accent you have ever heard, and they SCREAM in bed. Do you go for it.

Sween looking like the Conguitos mascot

Hello my compadres, Q: I’ve just started branching out when it comes to gaming. I’m a Nintendo girl and grew up with the older systems and really only play Mario and Zelda games. After BOTW, I had a friend tell me about the Monster Hunter series and the new game coming out for the switch and I wanted to ask you if I should get it? While you’ve had many gaming rants, I don’t recall hearing much or anything at all about the monster hunter franchise. Thanks for taking my money and providing me a service of laughs and occasional advice. With love, Nikki.

The Royal Cum Catcher

Dear over exposed, middle grey and under exposed, What is something you enjoy, be it a hobby or anything that others find nonsensical? For me it’s my love of film photography! I have three cameras now, many rolls shot abs looking into developing and printing in a darkroom. However many have said why when digital is so much easier, but personally I love the process that film brings as opposed to digital! Thoughts?

causewthoutrebel

Hey, trio who makes living in this hellscape a little more entertaining. One of the most common tropes in children shows is the idea of a magical animal being taken away by the government to be dissected. If you guys were to make up a children's show trope that were equally popular what would it be?

badlybrave

Hey folk, glad to be able to support you guys again! I'm curious if there's ever been a piece of media (game, movie, series, etc.) widely considered mediocre or worse that you genuinely really enjoy and can't fathom why more people don't? Been playing Outriders lately and I've seen a lot of people saying about how terrible the story is, but I think it's genuinely pretty good? Cheesy and over the top sure, but still a pretty damn good story

Owlbear mauling Warwick Davis

Q: salutations Dom,Cole, and the dude from Gears 3 who looks like R Kelly. Plain and simple question, rate my 360 digital games library that goes as fallows. Halo 3, Halo Reach, Witcher 2, Castle Crashers, Gears 2, Diablo 3, Mortal Kombat Trilogy, Battlefront 1&2, Republic Commando, Tekken 6, Orange box, and Minecraft. What would you each add to make it better?

The Dudeslayer

Hello a manifestation of humanities ego, Tall man, and the Sin of Lust’s little brother, just one question: Q: What the is the worst advertisement you’ve ever seen? Mine is a porn ad with this one larger chick on it that is so strangely proportioned that the first couple times I saw it I just stopped beating it and went to do anything else to make me forget what I saw. It was like she was custom built to make not horny anymore.

George Washington Super Soldier

Salutations Gorilla with Marine training, Gorilla certified by the American Board of Surgery, and Gorilla who once beat Prime Eminem in a rap battle. My birthday is Monday the 12th, and I wanted to know if any of you have story about a birthday party or other event in your honor that you were really excited for only to get super disappointed during. For my 15th birthday, me and all six of my friends drove like an hour to a super luxury movie theater with a 4/5 star restaurant that brought your food during the movie to watch Age of Ultron. I paid $500 to watch one of the most meh Marvel movies. I had to make reservations a month ahead. I was so excited and still had a good time, but distinctly remember being phenomenally disappointed like 40 minutes in. Please keep up the great work, it's all the weekly entertainment I have left. Also, Kingston, check out Lancer RPG: it's like D&D and Titan Fall had a baby who was really into Destiny 2.

Sickdicktrick

Q: Who would win: 10 unarmed marines vs 1 wild lion? no weapons

Matt Llew

Hello Kirby, Meta Knight and Dry Bones, I’m sick and tired of watching Sweeney getting his ass handed to him on Smash Bros Ultimate on Twitch.. Q: You guys mentioned it in the past but do you have any solid ideas on a twitch stream where the 3 of you play something together? Best wishes.

Do you think Brian Thompson's last word was WaAaAaAaAaAaAh

Hello, strangers that I give 1.79% of my monthly paycheck to. Seeing as you've all worked customer service jobs, I was wondering what's the stupidest question a customer has ever asked you. A couple of months ago I asked a customer if he would like to donate to help in the fight against AIDS, to which he responded, "...AIDS still exists?" And when I told him it did, he said "are you sure?"

Icebreaker

Greetings musical ying yang and worst opinions on twitter, here's an interesting question, what were some things in non-horror games that scared you as a kid? Personally my pick is the floor in halo 1and 2 and Ravenholm in half life 2. Stay juicy boys

Midwest Methamphetamine Manufacturing, LLC

Hello gremlin, critter, and troll! Greetings from the Nebraskan born on 04/20! I’d like to use my monthly donation to a) bully Sweeney for proving the fact that pre-health bio majors know nothing about wildlife biology, and b) ask the following question: Have y’all ever been shat on regularly for something completely benign and beyond your control? As someone born on 04/20 I got a lot weed & drug jokes on my birthday growing up, but I also was made fun of because I share a birthday with Hitler, as well as the anniversary of the failure of the Bay of Pigs Invasion and Columbine. If our lords & saviors are merciful, may they send armageddon to ‘Braska first.

Drunken Dullahan

Hello friendly patreon prostitutes, do you have any favorite near-death experiences? I myself, have been shot, stabbed, impaled, set on fire, poisoned, struck by lightning, etc.

Abolish Anime

Dear Negroid, Negroid II, and knock off Mexican, keep up the good work and enjoy my five dollars. QUESTION: Dereck, what is the shittiest city in Orange County.

preeroz.

Hey Double Dark, and Goose, OR Two Keith Davids and one oddity, Second time patron (from March), but I've been listening to the podcast mid-December (#49), and I'm currently up to #27. Appreciate the raw commentary as you three legitimately make me bust out laughing during my shifts at work. New month, same question. Q: When it comes to nostalgia, what songs sum up your life growing up to before adulthood? You can choose up to five, but you can't go past. I can't name 5 off the top of my head, but my #1 is Royksopp's "Remind Me". much love!

PapaGzeus

Ayy my degenerate boyos. Personally I hate whimsical advice like "be yourself" or "never give up" because it's cliché and vague. Do you have any practical life advice for the viewers? For example, I learned that making an effort to always put things back in the same place is a good way to make sure that you don't lose anything (especially helpful since I have major ADD)

Warhammer 40k Reference

Question for Chris, Sweeny, and the worst food opinions I've ever heard. If you had to serve a 6-month tour of duty in the army in any war in history, which would you choose? You get to pick which side you fight for, but that side has to have fought in that war for at least 6 months. Assume you will have all the equipment and knowledge you need.

Murderascended

Hello there >insert 3 clever names< have you guys seen Godzilla vs Kong and did you notice......zavala

SaiyanWarrior50

Firstly I wanted to say, Starship velociraptor is awesome, and secondly my question is: is there a song or band/artist any of you would like be to enjoy but don't based off your personal principals

Jonathan Anguiano

Hello men of the gamer future. How goes it? I hope this question goes somewhere with any of you but have you ever experienced some thought, event, movie, injury, moment in your life that has ever made you just remain silent for long time and think “what did I just see right now?”. Thanks guys for the great content, you have truly made my time taking notes for class go by super easily. Appreciate it! P.S: sorry about the assumption question I made Chris about you often speaking about the negative lifestyle of a celebrity. I looked back on it the day I made the post and told myself to “change it into a different question later” but failed to do it. So sorry about that. I’ll be sure to think about what I’ll post carefully next time.

swagloading 56%

hello Chris, Sweeny and Derrick, on the topic of music what is your favorite niche instruments? stuff like hurdy gurdys, bladder pipes etc. love the podcast

This house was built with cum. My soul is its fireplace. I sold my kidney this morning.

Q: Hello Christerson, Tomathy and Dereksander. My question isn't too detailed. Would you rather eat chocolate pudding that tastes like shit, or shit that tastes like chocolate pudding? Assume both are sanitary. Personally, I just want to be fed in the first place. This basement I've been locked in doesn't have much in terms of nutrients, I'll tell you that much!

Doug's Discount Toiletries You Wipe it and we Swipe it

Hello used napkin, penny, and chip, My question is piggy backing off of last weeks conversation with Jonathan regarding music and its impact on movie/video game scenes and segments. What's one instance where the music really made the scene/section of the game great or terrible? Personally, Control's ashtray maze section where they play Take Control by Old Gods of Asgard is one of my favorites specifically because of the way they incorporated it into the experience/flow of the gameplay. Love the podcast and thanks again for making covid in general manageable.

TheDumpsterWizard

What is your favorite animal and why? Mine is the peacock mantis shrimp entirely due to their Edward-bowlingball hands that punch with the diameter force as a .22 caliber bullet

ButteredButter

Hey you autistic ass hats. Q: Quick question, if you three were in a free for all fight to the death, no weapons and stuck in an mma octagon, who would win? Anything is allowed such as teaming and general cheap shots. Also you can't decide to just die, you are trying your best to win.

Watch the Big Lez show y fakin kants

Hey there broskis. Q: In Czech Republic where i live, there is an Easter tradition that invoves us beating our women with willow sticks in order to make them beautifull.... Do you guys have any favourite tradition?

Mr Ninja Fox117

What's up you beautiful boys. How long would it take us to notice if they started putting cocaine back in Coca cola. But a really small amount, and they add more slowly over time?

Decwood

Hey there Hispanic At the Chrisco Chocolate Sokka And the thing still beneath my bed Q: I know you boys may not be as much of a lore junkie as i am, but has there been some major revision to a beloved video game canon or universe that you find absolutely appalling? For me it's the fact that Disney gave Starkiller in The Force Unleashed the boot in favor of whatever whack ass story Rogue One was Love you fellas and thanks for the endless entertainment

Decwood

Hello the two sinners who would see a live action land before time and the man I'm getting a Kingdom Hearts tattoo to purely to spite Topic: As most of us I am a huge fucking Halo nerd and I have subconsciously refused to accept the fact Bungie did anything post Halo: Reach SOLO POTENTIAL QUESTION: Chris and Sweeney, none of you guys have steered me wrong with a recommendation before and my friend is a super Destiny nerd, lore included. Is it worth getting into? MAIN PODCAST: Question: What's a game company you guys previously adored but have emotionally cut ties to after a certain franchise? No cheating you can't say Naughty Dog

james passmore

Q: what is the most overrated video game console?

Higgle

Q: Y’all wanna hit this? A: DEEZ NUTZ 🤣

Jeff Caseres

Hello Sqwaaad Don’t really have much of a question but more of a conversation suggestion we should start having on the inter webs. As a mature 28 year old that I think I am, I have been thinking more and more that Internet personalities and any adult that uses social media should begin asking themselves, “How old is this user?” Before engaging in any sort of conversation or conflict on social media. Think about it, would you really have a conversation about politics with a 13 year old kid? I sure as hell wouldn’t. Last time I checked, you only need to be 13 years old to use Twitter. Every time I see someone being an asshole on social media, I always wonder how old they are. If they are 13 years old I wouldn’t even bother engaging because as a mature 28 year old it’s pointless. If it’s a 35 year old being an asshole, I would feel more comfortable engaging because the best thing to say is GROW THE FUCK UP! Just some thoughts I want to get out there, I feel like knowing someone’s age can help reduce all the arguing and fighting we see online today.

The 1st Church of Keith David pres, Chris Reagan

Greetings, oh wise apostles of our lord and savior Keith David. Question: Outside of our aformentioned lord and savior, who else would make up your absolute top five when it comes to possible celebrity guest appearances on the podcast? Continue spreading the good word of our devine Lord Keith David!

Unwelcome Ghost

Hello Embodiment of Frailty, Gorilla Abuser, and Darkness Incarnate. I hope you folk had a nice Easter holiday. Q: What was something that happened back in high school that you feel like severely effected who you ended up becoming?

Mike Childs

hey boys! no witty nicknames since I'm an uncreative fuck but Q: I know that Zach has been on the podcast before, but is there any chance of anyone else from the Oneyplays crew being on the show? I'd love to see Chris himself or Lyle, and I can only imagine the chaotic and wild conversations that can happen with any of them on. thank you guys and have a miserable week!

There’s an active serial killer in my area help

Hello man with white skin and his two importees. I have a correction and a question for you. For the correction, in numerous instances, Derrick failed to accurately describe libertarian philosophy, instead he described a confederation. You simply cannot kill the gays in a libertarian society because libertarianism requires that their rights be protected so the NAP can be enacted. My question is the following, you get one super power each, but the other two get to decide a drawback. What do you pick?

Shit so loud at the gym I set off the lunk alarm

Well howdy there tweedle dee, tweedle dum, and tweedle dipshit; long time viewer and fresh patron here all the way from bumfuck Montana. I figured you three lady-killer man sluts would be the perfect ones to give me advice for this conundrum I'm in. I'm recently single again, so I've been heading out to bars and local events to try and meet new people, with pretty great results. The problem arises however when they casually mention their husband/boyfriend, and how they would like me to be part of a threesome with them and their partner. Fucking swingers... it's at least 50% of the chicks put the moves on, and I don't know if there's just that many of them, or if I'm just a degenerate magnet. Do I just live in a fucked up place, or is this actually a common problem?

Papa Nurgle

Hello fellow plague vectors, got introduced to Death Grips recently and I gotta say I'm diggin the cacophony. What's your take on them? P.s. Gods bless you Tomboylover

John Lang

Hello to my future rape victims. My friend and I at work have this debate about magic and Science. I argue that magic is just science we don’t understand yet while he says that magic is separate from science. We we were manly talking in the context of things like the DC and Marvel universe but this argument can be in any fictional universe or hell even in real life like when people use to think that Zeus was using his magic lighting Bolt to create storms or some shit. Much love P.S ranch is FUCKING delicious.

Big Sauce

Hey there, Diverse Skeletor, Death Dj0nt, and Kingston. Alrighty, so you're all serial killers. What is your signature weapon and/or method. Collaboration is encouraged. Also, you should totally check out Nil By Mouth by Haken. It's like if Streets of Rage got Mick Gordon'd

Cammy ass sweat in a can provided by the church of cammy

Hello members of the high functioning ADHD podcast , Q: What game, if any, that you really wanted to like but just couldn't. Just to clarify that I'm not talking about games whose hype and praise raised your expectations too high and ruined your enjoyment. I'm referring to games that you know are objectively good and that you want to enjoy, but just doesn't click with you

There’s an active serial killer in my area help

Hello fellow catholic school victim, fellow metal head, and fellow man built like a basketball. In February I sprained my ankle while playing airsoft. I was 3 weeks into my first job, an OR aide for a hospital sterile processing department. It happened because when the game started, a marine playing with us said “kill the men, rape the women, enslave the children,” which instilled in me a religious zeal I thought locked away since I became an atheist. I screamed Leviticus 18:22 and that throne of god shakes quote from the Hadith that I learned from Chris and went down screaming as my foot and leg created a 90° angle. My question is this, what is the stupidest injury you’d gotten, and what happened before and after?

Da White Devil

Hello my deepest fears. Due to you three keeping me in this nightmare I have a question for you Q: if every time you had intercorse you had a child. This would include if the partner is pregnant, barren, or anything otherwise making them unable to get pregnant. Would you become gay or just not have sex.

Dekayto

Hello Eldritch Horrors that remind me of my own mortality. would you rather see sleep paralysis demons even when you are fully awake, or whenever someone speaks, you hear it in Deep Speech

it played with its penis

Question for Chris and fat Derrick. Why do you and other new yorkers yammer on about new york pizza like you’ve been brainwashed into liking it? It has no crust and is no better than pizza anywhere else. Fight me, gun beats weeb sword.

Doug's Discount Toiletries You Wipe it and we Swipe it

Hello my three amigros, I learned today that the PS5 is about to release a seinfeld horror game for purchase (I believe it was originally a game made in dreams) which sounds absolutely hilarious to me. My question is this, what other games can you think of that had a crazy combo for genre or theme and if you can't think of one, what combo of movie/show and genre would you create for shits and giggles?

TexasTaterSalad

Howdy howdy two pretty girls and the ugly friend, I was listening to the Chris and Sweeney episode while at work and when it came to the conversation over Hitchbot I laughed so hard I choked on my own saliva and coughed to the point of being light-headed. So, have y’all ever been in a situation where you caused a scene completely by accident and no one around you could know what caused it unless you told them what happened?

Nostalgia

Hello strongest 120 Handcannon user, skinniest Felwinters Lie abuser, and ugliest non-Destiny player. If you were trapped on an island and you were only able to take 3 childhood shows to watch until you either get rescued, or die from leprosy, which shows would you take? My personal picks would have to be Courage the Cowardly Dog, Drake & Josh, and Megas XLR. Love yous, keep on keeping on.

Please don't take my pocket pussy, it's all I have left of my dead wife

What's happening Drake Bell after snorting an ocean of cocaine, Short dark and lumpy, and the unfortunate result of the civil rights movement. Q:The race war has begun and you've each been chosen to lead a group into battle but you can't fight for your own race. What race will you choose to lead and why? PS: This podcast is the only thing getting me through nightshift so keep up the good work you beautiful minorities.

There’s an active serial killer in my area help

Hello bitch I assassinated in his spawn during one of his halo reach community custom games live streams, Derrick, and the man who chose number C and kill himself instead of watching his parents fuck for the rest of his life or join in once to make it stop. So I work at a hospital, and my job is to deliver instruments to operating rooms during the surgeries. Today I saw a very hairy penis, and an amputated leg. What’s the grossest shit you’ve witnessed in your life?

Cm

Q: Hello bois. I'm turning 26 this month and I'm salty I can't properly celebrate my birthday for a second year in a row. (I know, who cares right?) BUT I would like to know what's your favorite moment from any of your birthdays?

King of Spiders

Q: Wassup gradient tool gang How yall feel bout the Ben Shapiro thirst accounts? Ben Shapiro flexes his biceps a lot on his All Access calling it "the gun show" and has simps.

PapaGzeus

Q: hey you mongoloid maniacs! Have you ever randomly had a fucked up memory un-repress itself? Personally, this last year I've had two: one for the time I saw a fucking UFO and another for the time I was 13 and mindlessly browsing porn on my PSP when I stumbled across what I'm pretty sure was CP

The Egg in Chris Farleys mouth

Hey howdy hey Puerto Rican Professor , Black Bender, and Black Fry. What’s one dead franchise you would want to revive ? Really wishing Ubisoft would do something new and interesting with the Splinter Cell franchise after it sitting dormant for so long. Hell I would settle for a remake at this point.

Napster of Puppets

Hey there King of Autism and his subjects. If you had to choose between getting Cancer or Alzheimer's, which one would you get? Obviously no self forever sleep. If it were me, I'd get cancer. Alzheimer's is terrifying to me. Slowly losing your individuality and memories of loved ones feels like a fate worse than death and it's 100% incurable compared to the other one.

Ari

TOPIC/Q: Hello the Unholy Trinity. The saying "You can't have your cake and eat it too" had always confused me when I was younger because obviously, when you have a cake you can clearly eat it. What common phrase did you guys misunderstand when you were younger (or maybe even until recently)? Thanks for what you do, love the show.

Colin Moriarty

What's poppin, dingus, pingus, and bingus? When I was in middle school, I remember visiting my local gamestop with my dad, and grabbed a copy of inFAMOUS 1 for ps3. When we were in line for some reason I had this adamant belief that it was a sequel, to a game called sandman, where the protagonist, previously had sand powers despite having no real reason and no idea where I heard this information. It wasn't until inFAMOUS 2 released that I realized my utter retardation. What are some game examples where you genuinely believed something existed, be it a game, a mechanic, a moment, that was not even remotely true?

Snark Tank crew are relaxing in Brazil but Sween got kidnapped

Hey there anorexic hobbit, sex-depraved goblin and menace to society, long-time listener and first-time patron here. My question is: What are some games, movies or songs that are ALMOST perfect and what keeps them from being a 10/10?

AllHandsOnDick

Hello Russian Nesting doll boys, hitting you with a simple question today, which Platinum Games game is best, for me personally it's Metal Gear Rising or Madworld. Have a fucktastic days boys and girl.

Jack

Greetings unholy cross breed between a prophet from halo and a hive thrall, Jim Crow's long lost grandson and the man who sexually assaulted me in the summer of 09 (don't deny it Derrick you know what you did), first time patron here coming to you from the desolate wasteland that is Northern Ireland. My question is, have you ever picked up a game, TV show or other piece of media that's pretty old and then regret not trying it earlier? For me it would probably have to be Metal Gear Rising. I recently played the entire game in one sitting and it blew my fucking soul away with how good it was and I lament the fact that my tiny child brain wasn't interested in it when it came out

Sween looking like the Conguitos mascot

Hello my dudes, thanks for the advice on Monster Hunter Rise, I plan to get the game and I will let you know how I enjoy it! I have another question for you: what was the strangest conversation you’ve ever had that left you baffled and questioning reality after? My bf is a streamer and some kid on stream tells him their family dog got bit by a rattle snake, but they live in the middle of nowhere miles away from a vet and so they decide the logical thing to do is SHOOT the dog to put it out of its misery and then they unloaded all their guns into the snake...Then my bf asks me how do snakes operate: like a bee or a hornet? And I ask him What. The. Fuck. Do you mean? He clarifies "do snakes attack in self defense or just to be a dick?” And I said almost always in self defense but why that weird comparison and he goes, “So snakes attack like bees?" Like, fuck man I guess? I hope this story gave you a laugh to pay you back for the laughs you give me!

There’s an active serial killer in my area help

Hello slack jawed dweeb, man who read mein kampf, and Derrick. So I like country, and you guys are objectively wrong. My question for you all is, What is a hot take you have that would likely see you hanged in the public square?

John Martian

Hey you guys ever think about how small the penises are for the people who drive those shitty cars with the loud fucking engines? Like they drive through neighborhoods at 9pm on a weekday, speeding through and waking up everybody because they know they can get away with it. You almost want to Ultra Instinct into their car and take their knees away.

John Martian

Hello Sir Derrek of Chodesville (if you're still alive), Lord Simp Sweeney (if you haven't set fire to your bedroom), and Squire Femboy Chris (If the murders haven't begun), What overhauls (massive updates that change the way mechanics work or how guns function) to classic games would you openly accept? If you need a spark, Chris, I for one would welcome a rework of the Halo 3 Assault Rifle and Magnum, if it was guaranteed that 343 would ONLY alter those two. The Assault Rifle is a pea shooter, and the H3 Magnum is a pathetic cap gun that Ruby's Rebalanced Mod actually fixed and made interesting, and I would love to see something like that incorporated into Halo 3's multiplayer, IMHO.

Atrosoni

G'day gents got a question more for Tom and Chris: What is your honest opinions on Destiny 2's current state compared to before Beyond light? I'm more on the excited side of what could happen in the future and curious on how the future subclasses could destroy PvP even more than Stasis did. Love the podcast it makes the workdays more tolerable to deal with.

Scratch1700

Well hello there Feeble little Man, Nurse Joys replacement, and grandpa time, first time patron and fairly new viewer here. My question is have you guys heard Bones in the Ocean by The Longest Johns? Thoughts on sea shanty style music? Bones in the ocean us of my favorite songs to be honest and I'd definitely recommend it if you haven't heard.

Mmm do I smell a Brappy Patty -Plankton

Howdy yall. Long time listener but new patron. After the tragic passings of people like DMX, Adam Perkins and Dr. Drew, who do y'all wish *won't* kick the bucket too soon? Conversely, what celeb/artist/actor/etc would yall choose to resurrect? The only catch is that you have to kill someone of equal status by the law of Equivalent Exchange. Thank you for the laughs and the bantz

james passmore

Q: if Stuart little died would the littles bury him or throw him away?

Sween the typa guy to eat holographic meatloaf

Q: I've heard a lot of controversial food takes on this show so I would like to propose this question: when you have a meal do you eat the side dish before the entree or do you eat them together? I am of the mindset that not eating your side dish first is a cosmically reprehensible offense, but I'm curious what you lads think. Thanks for all of the laughs!

John Martian

Hello fellow cysts, First I have some housekeeping to do, so here we go: You are now breathing manually, you are aware of your toe positions, your tongue does not have a natural resting place. Alright, so a coworker of mine is giving me the heeby jeebies, he just gives me the vibe that he would stab me in a hallway and smile at the blood pouring out of me and betrayal in my eyes. But here's the thing, everyone gets along with him, everyone seems to think nothing is wrong, and I can't really convince them otherwise. Whether I'm wrong, or going to end up in some cadaver sex dungeon in Utah is irrelevant. My question for you is: who was that person in your friend group or workplace, that just rubbed you the wrong way, but no one else seemed to notice but you?

The Milk Man that Looks like Chris

Hello Racist, Horny, and Illiterate First time patron but here's my question. Imagine that you are on an infinite flat plane and a wave of ten 6 year olds are coming at you and the intent to kill. Once you kill all of them you get a 5 minute breather and then another wave of ten comes at you. But every 5 rounds an 8 year old gets thrown in the mix. Without any moral limitations how many waves can you go before the hoard consumes you? Personally I think I could about 12, but only because I would do my best to get a spin out of one of the ones and start beyblading some necks. I also feel like I need to add that the first time I heard the question was in the back of a van on the way to church camp. Thanks for giving me something great to binge at a job I hated.

Merks1889

Let me just start by saying I love your guy’s podcast, it makes my 11 hour drives each day (truck driver) all the more entertaining. I’m a first time Patreon supporter and I discovered you guys after Chris’ Resident Evil video showed up on my youtube feed, and have been dying of laughter since. Now for my question, when was the last time you were involved in something that you genuinely didn’t want to be a part of, but just ended up in the wrong place at the wrong time, or agreed to do something you genuinely didn’t want to do?

Big Boo Limpy Sniggens (LIL)

New patron, long time listener here. Not really a question. Just informing I guess. In the last episode you guys talked about horses might reside. You mentioned nevada. Now I live in nevada. Horses are so common in nevada that multiple schools have their mascots as mustangs, and there are just wandering packs of those beasts.

JohanGasMask

Hello Mr. Edward Norton from American History X(Pre-shower scene involving anal rape), Edward Norton from American History X(Post-shower scene involving anal rape) and finally Mr. Edward Norton from American History X......but with glasses! I have a question for my three favorite left-leaning racists! Now, it has come to my attention that you three gentlemen think very highly of the "Furry" community and only wish them to have healthy and fulfilling lives. So my question is this....What would each of your "Fursonas" be?(And no, you cant kill yourselfs!...Sweeny) If you care about my thoughts on the manner, please read the following below. Chris - I think a Weasel or a Raccoon disguised as an house-cat would fit Chris perfectly fine. His "Weaselly" voice gives off that impression, while his charm and witty sense of humor gives off the impression that he only wants to be loved, but nobody finds raccoons that looks like they just survived 4 years in a concentration camp all that warm and cuddly. Sweeny - Obviously Tom is a Wild Boar, through and through. Simply from looking at his "Heavy Set", his Chief Wiggum nostrils and that irradiating pitch his voice gives off whenever hes wrong (Which is all the time) , or slurring out Mein Kampf. Boars are actually considered just as intelligent as dogs, but that doesn't mean they are less of a nuisance or beloved. Tom comes off as "Well-spoken" or "Civilized" due to his minimal intelligence, but he only apply's it to service his shallow needs, base survival and articulating his cancerous arguments. His favorite strategy of debate is squealing into the microphone and running away with the victory when he successfully drowns out any points or arguments that would have proven him wrong. ( He's my favorite :) ) DeRICK - This is another one that i see as kind of obvious. Hes a satanic Mountain Goat/Ram. Edgy, biggest ballsack on YouTube and his sinful affinity for Metal (Satan's Music) makes him the perfect sacrificial lamb for our Pagan Overlords. He would have 5 horns that would perfectly align with the Pentagram symbol, his pelt would be black (Of course), so in the end he would be the first one picked of by a Goat equivalent of a white police officer and shot dead in the streets. Real talk: I've been a huge fan of the Snark Tank ever since i started working night-shift, you're "Shoot-the-shit" style of podcasting make the nights feel less lonely and your fucked up conversations never fail to bring a smile to my face. Best of luck to the Podcast and each of your yt channels :)

Decrepit Dan

Hey bois, needing to save money for a lil while so this will be my last question before I go. How should I go about getting my band to the "next level?" Like doing local shows and eventually touring and opening up for big name bands. My band plays metal, and we're from a small city in Kansas. Not a whole lot of venues around town will even give us the time of day, or let even us play because we're a metal band. Venues are starting to book shows around here, so the Covid thing isn't really a problem. Any tips or tricks that might help me and my bois out? Btw, if you want to shout out our instagram, feel free, but not obligated. Band name is Gutterbones. @gutterb0nes

AceMan

do you guys like beans?

Miguel Antonio

Hello the whitest black man, alt-right Lin Manuel Miranda and Tom "please play Mass Effect already" Sweeny! I'm a first time patron, long time listener who tunes in to hear your ramblings pretty much every day while I play videogames. I'm glad I finally get to support my favorite show on YouTube. My question for you fiends is: Has a videogame ever changed your perspective on a social issue or had a moment that made you completely reconsider your view point on the world? For me, it was Metal Gear Solid 2, which scarily predicted the future and taught me a lot about censorship and how information we receive is controlled. Thank you for putting so much effort into the show and thank you Chris and Derrick for getting me into Hades and metal respectively.

Bernie Budden

Hello Black Darth Vador, Lando, and the Skeleton of Luke that they are Weekend at Bernie'sing Yes I know it doesn't make sense to put 'ing' at then end of a movie title, eat my shorts! My question is for Derrick mainly but I know Chris and Sween will have their two cents. I love Legend of Dragoon and have been wanting a remake for a long time because the original as a little bit of jank. Especially between the final boss of disc 2 which plagued my child mind got years because the game would crash. My childhood trauma aside, if you could guarantee a remake was made for Legend of Dragoon but you would have to give up something of yours what would it be? The Most precious the Item is to you would dictate the quality of the finish product (only one item) ...I would give my picture of Halestorm signed by all the members I got 10 years ago from my first ever concert experience.