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August: Question Thread (Patreon)

Published:
2021-08-09 21:15:42
Imported:
2026-06

Content

July's thread was long and we've finally reached the end of it. You know the music! Time to dance! Topics, questions, suggestions. Anything your feeble heart desires. Send 'em our way and we'll do our best to get everybody involved. 

Keep in mind: Your question has a higher likelihood of getting selected if you keep it concise and devoid of long long run-on sentences. They break Chris's psyche. New episode tomorrow. Solo Episode on Friday.

Comments

Ari

Hello Unholy Trinity! I've watched one of Sweeneys Dead Space streams which awoke some of my fondest childhood memories: Watching Dead Space 2 death compilations with my brother. What is some of your most cherished childhood memories? Lots of love, Elysa

huggerderek

Hey there snarky bois. What's some of yalls favorite breakfast foods? Im pretty partial to anything in the egg region, myself. Love you beautiful boiz

The Egg in Chris Farleys mouth

Hey howdy hey boys, what’s the worst first date you have ever been on? Mine ended with witnessing my date falling off of a Vespa and having an seizure in the middle of the road

Murderascended

Hey smeggies. Its my birthday this month...ill be 32. Wish me a happy birthday.

Sticky

Hello Brown boys, sticky here with another question. This is more for Tom, if Ben Shapiro right now entirely shifted his view on Rap and became an MC, how would you react if he out rhymed Kendrick or BadA$$?

Big Boo Limpy Sniggens (LIL)

Hello insolent creature, amorphous blob of flesh And Derrick Should Inspector Gadget (or robocop if you're sad) deserve human rights Ive asked this to several people and gotten different answers each time.

Finsoreo

Hello the three foreskins. I have a video game question for yall. When Halo infinite comes out, how upset would yall be if the Multi-player is amazing but the campaign is ass.

badlybrave

Now that Chris-Chan fucked his mom, can we assume that that was Papa John's Day of Reckoning? Has the world ended and we're all just living in Purgatory?

StormHornet13

Whatup Shorter than napoleon, still shorter than napoleon, and The Burger King of Angmar. Are any of you excited for the new Dune remake? Personally I'm excited for the sandworms to be scary and not look like Muppets. Rip in peace the apartment (or house, Idk ya'll probably live in a fort made of pizza boxes)

Warwolf

What’s poppin’, you diverse goofy goobers. This is more for Chris and Sweeney but I’d love to hear your opinion, Derrick. I’m a film student (I know, ew) and I plan on moving to pursue a career. Two of the cities I’ve been looking at are New York and Los Angeles. Since you boys have experience in both of these hellscapes, I gotta ask, which city do you prefer and what are your favorite restaurants/fast food places from each city? Help this Washington hillbilly choose where to suffer and I hope you’re doing well, you hot take machines.

PP. when does the pain get better. help

Hey there my juicy dump trucks What are your thoughts on the upcoming mass effect game? Do you think they’ll continue with the legacy system? Tali must remember my love or I’ll die.

Bwadwy

Hey Triple Threat of all the steamy takes people hate My question is pretty simple but I think it'd be pretty fun. Which lantern corp do you think you would belong to? green, red, blue, purple, yellow, orange, white, or black? Hope you guys stay safe as our skin melts off our bodies like cheese from the ever-heightening temperatures over the next decade. P.S. Sween. Matriarch Benezia has mad liver spots on her tits you can do better with a Mass Effect waifu.

Dekayto

Hello cursed one, hollowed one, and the literal dregs of humanity. If there was a Bloodborne style game that focused entirely on lovecraftian eldritch horrors, would you play it? I mean JUST eldritch stuff, no werewolves or lycanthropes.

Jacques 552

Good day you well adjusted people. I’ve got a hypothetical for you guys. So, one day you find out a gigantic, sentient slab of flesh that’s about the size of Iowa is after you. You don’t know why it’s after you, but it’s coming quickly. You have access to all of the world’s technology, but you can’t kill this thing with any conventional means. How do you defeat this creature? PS. You’re immortal, so you can’t kill yourself or be killed by the creature

Jimpy, the Outrageous Scoundrel and America's Favorite Wizard

Bonjour you bambsquabbling bafflegabbers! I'm a first-time patron but I've been a big fan of the show since the Zach episode, so I'm happy to finally be huckin' some shekels your way. My question is about THE BIG APPLE, New York City (sorry Derrick). Despite living in Pennsylvania I've never once stepped foot in the state of New York, but I plan on visiting NYC for my 17th birthday coming up in September. Thing is, I find myself overwhelmed with trying to plan this trip--I don't know where I'd start with deciding which boroughs and neighborhoods to spend time in, which restaurants to stop at, etc. I live in the middle of buttfuck nowhere in a rural area of southeast PA (about an hour and a half north of Philly), so the closest thing I've seen to the bright lights of Times Square is the moonlight reflecting off the cows grazing in the night. Point is, I figured I'd ask those two New Yorkers I listen to since no one I know is familiar with the city either. So where do I start? Which borough should I spend the day in, and what parts of said borough should I see? Any tourist traps I should avoid? Any cool record stores or spots to check out? And, of course, arguably the most important question: where can I get the best slice of an AUTHENTIC NEW YORK PIZZA? I know you can't really experience all that a city has to offer in just one day, so I'm just looking to have a good time and get some good grub. I also know this is a super loaded question and for that I apologize, but truthfully any input would be a great help in planning this trip (and I needed an excuse to finally start donating anyway). Thanks a ton, I appreciate the show immensely. (also thanks Chris for recommending Bastion and Hades, i finally started checking out the Supergiant games in order after seeing Bastion in an issue of Game Informer a decade ago and now Bastion and Transistor are some of my favorite games of the 2010s. Pyre and Hades are next, everyone should go check em out now)

Dylan Lives

Hello Travellers! Recently I went on a two hour long rant about how fucked the world is, and I got really sad afterward. In an effort to combat this sadness, what is a genuinely good memory you have that just feels nice to look back on? I hope that reminiscing will make everyone feel a bit better about the Hellword we live in!

Zerowolf

Hello Reptilian with glasses, Panthro, and the man who’s lineage that will spread across Europe. Q: You are captain of Spaceship form your choice from any fictional media which will you choose and who will be your crew (again you can choose from any fictional media)

Sween looking like the Conguitos mascot

My guy, dude, and bro So sorry to hear about the living situation, but it brought up an interesting question: Q: where do you see the future of the snark tank podcast and will anything change with the three of you moving? Thanks for the 2 hr distraction from life! Unless this is just a 2 person episode, in that case a 1 1/2 hr distraction.

Jay

Hello foghorn leghorn, speedy Gonzalez, and Lebron James, I’m a long time listener, first time patron. Was wondering what TV if any you’ve been watching recently? I just started watching Curb Your Enthusiasm for the first time and I’m loving it. Love this “podcast” keep it up

AurtisticOne

Hello my 3 extremely well endowed gentlemen, when does a character cross the line from being unlikeable yet well written to just badly written and also unlikeable. Or vice versa, tries to be likeable but is so badly written it doesn't connect. Examples would be good too. For me the first is amber from invincible, specifically the "I know you have powers" shit. I liked her before that. Another is Korra. I like her type of character way better than aangs (aangs is a pussy, sorry sween) but her show is so hit and miss that I can't bring myself to place her above him.

Mike Childs

hey you trio of moral derived fuckwits, what are some of your favorite maps in multiplayer games? some of mine would be Siege of Shanghai in Battlefield 4 and Ballroom Blitz in Battlefield 1.

ojc

How's it going Three Muskequeers? I've been a fan for a long time now. What is something you know you should see/play, but never did? Personally, I've never seen the Godfather, Seinfeld, Fresh Prince, etc. I've also technically played Mass Effect, but I only played 1 and 2 and didn't do most of the side quests in either so I might as well have not played them.

Rushanish

Hello former catholic, dark greek, and the blackest white supremacist. If you had to have set with Chris-chan of your penis would fall off and crawl under the fridge like a small blury man. Would you or would you search the ends of the earth for your rouge cock.

Odo

What da dog doin?

TexasTaterSalad

Hello three beautiful bois! After a while I have heard quite a few people say that One Piece is trash when it is one the greatest pieces of fiction ever created! It made me wonder, what are some things that you truly believe are amazing that many other people view as bad? Thanks for the great content and good luck with your living situation!

Atrosoni

Hey hey hey wassup from the down under question mostly for Chris and the Sween machine but Derrick could possibly join in as well. if you could make any exotic weapon what would it be and what would be the exotic trait it can be as ridiculous as you want. I myself would make a Auto rifle that doubles as a disc launcher that can Pierce barrier champions. Thanks for making Covid lockdowns in my state easier to handle this podcast keeps me sane while I sit at home hope you guys have a pleasant day.

Schadenfreudian_Slip

Howdy the three Lovecraftian shoggoths that drip the words of the old gods into my ear, wanted to know how you guys feel or what you know about alternative fashion and subcultures as a whole (e.g. goth, punk, emo, metalhead, etc). I know some of you are a fan of the music of the subcultures but never heard y'all talk about the wider subcultures. Thanks for getting me through Grad school, from your friendly local goth in STEM. P.S. Hows the married life like Sween?

PapaGzeus

Sup fuckers? What are some stories from your lives that were awful or even downright traumatic but became hilarious over the passage of time?

Jonathan Anguiano

Good Day Gentlemen. Wish the best for your moving situation Chris and Sweeney. Hopefully there’s a place good enough for you both to be satisfied with. Any-who, my question for you guys is: What was your strangest awakening from sleep you have ever had? For example, I once had a dream of which a train was coming straight towards me since I was in its railroad tracks and I ended up in some sort of boxed in white corner. I ended up trying to break out of that corner by punching and hitting the walls until I pressed my hands desperately on the wall and slam my head on it. To my surprise, I actually DID do that in my sleep that I woke up with no pain or anything but shocked by what I’ve done. So yeah, anything like that I guess. Goodbye everyone. I’ll remember you all in therapy.

Mr Ninja Fox117

Hello you lovely boys. I am about to move out and live alone for the first time in my life. So feeding myself as cheap as possible will be the plan for a while. I was wondering if any of you have good cheap meal ideas for me? Lucky I love eggs. They are cheap where I'm at. Thanks for keeping my boring night shift job interesting boys. Keep up the great work

causewthoutrebel

Hi, hollow internet personalities. My question is if you could make any one conspiracy theory come true what would it be?

Fun fact

Hey Pandemic posse, I got a hypothetical scenario for you chumps, Jeff Bezos gives you two tickets to his rocket, who do you take with you? And why?

Unwelcome Ghost

Hello Chris Ray Boy, Thomas Sween, and Derrick, given the timing what's something you remember from high school that makes you cringe?

None Of The Fun

Hello cretinous crew, long time patron and first time writing in (and other algorithmic boosts to get my question read on the show). In Sam Raimi's Spiderman Peter develops odd wrist web sacks instead of creating web shooters. Now, given his age (highschool senior I think), how likely is it that he used the forbidden wussy (wrist + pussy or web +pussy, you decide) for masturbating. If he did (he did) would it be sexual assault if he then went on to web up bad guys. Please, I must know your thoughts on this. All the best NoneOfTheFun

james passmore

What dead franchise would you bring back from the grave?

Sween looking like the Conguitos mascot

Hello Rowdyruff boys, My Q is mainly for Sweeny as this is about Marvel, but all can chime in. Marvel has started introducing a lot of lesser known characters and I’m personally thrilled about it, especially Taskmaster getting some more screen time (and hopefully a better character than in black widow): Q: where do you think the marvel franchise is going and how do feel about it? I can’t always partake of the game talk, but I still love being a part of the Patreon group nonetheless! Thanks for taking my money.

Clara Martin

Hello, you unholy Triumvirate. Suppose you wake up tomorrow and everybody (excluding yourself) now has the opposite set of genitalia that they had before (girls have dicks, guys have vaginas). Nobody interprets this as strange or abnormal and everybody is exactly the same as they were, save for the hardware underneath. Would you begin to partake in bussy, become a girldick connoisseur, or commit yourself to a life of abstinence? Thanks for making my work week bearable! Love yall

ojc

How's it goin' fellas? This is an entirely genuine question... As someone from rural Canada, who the FUCK is Malcom X???

Sickdicktrick

Hello Alpha male, Beta male, and Sigma male. If you could go on tour with any musical artist, band, or group, living or dead, who would it be and why?

Chris Chan’s mom stuck in the dryer

Hello silly minorities. My girlfriend and I recently moved in and we’re looking for a series to watch together. Obviously game of thrones has come up because it’s so popular, but I’ve always said that ending of a story is something you have to nail, so I thought it wasn’t worth watching if it ended as poorly as everyone said it did. Should I even give it the time of day if I know the ending will disappoint me so greatly?

Sween the typa guy to eat holographic meatloaf

Greetings to the three sniveling imps who scurry inside the walls! What do you guys think is the best/most iconic default enemy" archetype in video games and why is it skeleton archers? Much love and keep up the goofs, gaffs, and even laughs.

A Tiny Asian Yakuza

Hey ChrisChanGun, Black Mr. Libido, and Dad. I has a little scenario for you. If Cthulhu offered you all Eldritch knowledge, with a 50/50 chance of not going insane, would you take the knowledge?

CJ on the Contrary

Greetings Chris the Buccaneer, Derrick the Samurai, and Sweeny the Plantation Owner! First time, long time. If the Assassin’s Creed animus machine were real, which time period would you want to explore the most? Personally I’d love to slash my way through feudal Japan Jin Sakai style. Love the show. My work day is bearable thanks to you fine fellows.

Connor King

Chris, please open the show by telling the other Connor King that I accept his challenge.

Derrick D Jones

Chriiiis. Sweeeeeing, Deeeeeeerrrrrrrriiiiiick. How yall feel about eating bugs. (Also same name and spelling of Derrick.)

TheDumpsterWizard

Hey guys I just started my first ever playthrough of Dark Souls, or as my friend group calls it "Dank Slurs" and I'm having an absolute blast and really appreciate the design of the game that I couldn't when it first came out. I'm still in the first ⅓ of the game and was curious about your first impressions of the game

Cocksucker

Hey you three photo-negative clowns! What did you guys think of the Back 4 Blood “beta”? I really liked it and I can’t wait for the full game to come out. Have a great orgy boyos

Napster of Puppets

Hey there Oreo band, if you had to choose, which one would you prefer: Cancer or Alzheimer's? Obviously, there is no 3rd option. Personally, I think I'd rather have Cancer than Alzheimer's. The idea of gradually losing everything that makes you who you are (Memories of people, of things that made you happy) is terrifying to me.

Hades is just Reverse Diablo

Yoooooooooo hi Hey black, blakk n blackish If Zeus had a vagina instead of a cock how do you think that woulda changed all of Greek mythos? Probs woulda made hera much happier and less of an angry bitch riiight? Also mind if I shamelessly plug myself? Check out my artwork at FrogsmeadCeramics on Instagram and Facebook <3 in terrible at communicating but I’d really love the support -Luci

Have you heard of/played Valves new MOBA Deadlock?

Hello my favorite voices in my head, this one is probably for Sweeny, if I wanted to introduce Berserk to my gf, would the Golden Age films or the 1997 anime be a better choice and why?

Tazorcorn

Hello, human chihuahua Marcus and black spirit of vengeance i come bearing a very serious question can 2006 Michael Jackson say the n word ps you 3 are my genuine idols i love you 3 the way you 3 love Keith David

Bianca the Bewitched

Greeting to my favorite far right podcast, I’ve been listening to you guys since you started doing the podcast consistently in early 2020 but finally have gotten in a good place financially and wanted to start supporting the podcast that makes going through this hell called life bearable. My job requires me to drive around a lot and as a result I listen to a lot of music. My question is what are some albums you guys would recommend that don’t require a lot of attention or are good for cruising for long periods of time. Keep up the “good” work

Sween looking like the Conguitos mascot

Hello boys, goodness look at how the Patreon has grown! I’ll get right to my question… Q: The three of you love music, that is obvious, but if you had the chance to study another art style, what would it be (drawing, dance, acting, theatre, creative writing, culinary, etc.)? I have a sneaking suspicion that Chris and Sween lean more toward culinary and Derrick to acting 🤣. Let me know how stupid and mentally deficient I am if I’m wrong. Love your faces ❤️

Doug's Discount Toiletries You Wipe it and we Swipe it

Hi Diddly Ho Neighbors, Last Pod y'all mentioned youtuber celebrities. My question is who would be the celebrities of the 2000's/your favorite to watch back in the day. The degen in me loved OG Filty Frank and the crew personally. Side note, real life American legend and pirate during the revolutionary War, John Paul Jones. Dude had an amazing life.

Steel Strider

Hello to the diversity hires of the white nationalist movement. I have 2 very quick questions. 1. Have you heard of a rapper named E-Dubble? (He’s relatively unknown but I love his work and would suggest checking him out) and 2. What unknown or underrated musicians/bands would you recommend?

HeartlessWretch

What's up George Soros employees and Alex Jones diversity hire. Has your fanboy enthusiasm ever become an issues in your relationships? Etc Derricks undying love for tali'zorah ,Chris with halo and King with spiderman. Like if they asked you why you care so much your answers would make them look at you different. (P.s Chris Im behind on episodes and just got to Lyle one. I put my question in literally at the last second and it was the 1st you read, thanks for that I appreciate you)

Staradder

Hello pizza snobs! First time Patreon subscriber here. How do you lads feel about Portland Oregon being declared the best place for pizza in America? Does it hurt your souls?

Cammy ass sweat in a can provided by the church of cammy

Hey African trio (yes I consider Chris African). If you were, hypothetically, kidnapped by an evil lich and has you choose between having a godlike thigh job from black cat only for her to shapeshift into Joe Biden just before you nut or having your pubes and your teeth switch places permanently, what would you choose? Asking for a friend. Ps: No you cannot kill yourself the lich will just revive you.

Stopping for pedestrians only to immediately run them over

Hello Ronald RayGun, Sweeny Nut Junior, and quite possibly the reason Lithuania is seeing a spike in birth rates. What comic book character could make a fantastic movie if the movie stayed true to the character? While Netflix's Punisher is great, I'd like to see him portrayed in the darker ways the comics depict him to be.

AllHandsOnDick

Hey hey hey snarky shits, it is your favorite totally original name hitting you again for the first time in a minute. Today's question is simple, what is your favorite concept album, both in sound and how well it pulls off its concept, mine personally is Songs for the Deaf by Queens of the Stone Age, if you haven't heard it, highly recommend getting baked off your ass and sitting down to the whole thing. Thank you for the laughs boys, see you later.

Chris's Coarse Cloggy Coomhole After It's Been Galacta-Railed By Femboy Arbiter's Thundercock

Hey Horny Gigachad, Black Gigachad and Gigatwink, I wanted you to suffer with a cursed question, so here it is: Would you rather periodically have smegma (dick cheese) ooze out of every single one of your orifices (nose, mouth, tear ducts, etc) OR you switch bodies with Chris-Chan, giving him access to your life and you in jail. Oh yeah and everyone hates you. You cannot kill yourself or have your appearance changed back. Much love - Bagel ❤️❤️❤️

MasonTheMetalHead.

Hey guys im gonna have to cancel my Sub for a while so if you could legally beat the shit out of one person with no consequences who would it be? Personally i would beat the absolute shit out of Bobby Kotic CEO of Activision/Blizzard cuz fuck 'em thanks for the laughsMasonThemetalhead

She Tubthumpin on my Chumbawumba

Hello Snarky, Malarkey, and Darky, Thanks for all the laughs over the years. Been a fan of you all individually and together for a long time. I have a question my gf and I have been arguing about. She insists the words "pasta" and "macaroni" are interchangeable, but I insist otherwise. Thoughts?

Zelex

Hey would you guys consider having Vaush on as a quest i think it could be interesting

I love FOV sliders

Hey Jerry, George, and Kramer. I have two questions. Will you ever have Gus and/or Eddy be on the podcast? Secondly, the Cowboy Bebop Netflix adaptation is out November 18th, you guys watching?

Big Boo Limpy Sniggens (LIL)

Not a question but ive come to give cursed knowledge. The director of the tom holland spiderman movies made that god awful clown movie you guys talked about.

Jaaaa

anyone got a link for the discord

Argan Ether

Hey, gang. I got into a bad car accident and am going to be in recovery for over a month, and your podcast is keeping me sane and smiling, so thanks. My question is, have any of you ever been laid up after some big incident for weeks on end? What did you do to cope with it?

Reece Fuller

howdy you howling hucklefucks, eminem is NOT TOP 20! I've been listening to this podcast since ep. 0 w Zach, i was wondering if chris o neill would ever get a chance to join you guys, hes a funny little boy. cheers and much love!

Ashlet

Hey girls. Recently I got a metric fuck ton of games from a few Humble Bundles and I've been trying out some titles. Among them is this little indie darling Blue Fire, which surprised and delighted me. Think Wind Waker and Hollow Knight getting together for a threesome at Dark Souls' house, this isn't an ad, my question is; are there any underrated bangers of games you ladies fell in love with after giving it a shot? Hope you are all having fun, and keep up the good work. :)

The Quaalude Shot from Half Court

Hello Pale Ghost and the two Ghost of Tariq Nasheed's past, I want to spark the hot take that video games count as art. Many people argue video games aren't art often due to their limited knowledge of video games but I feel it's pretty obvious that games like Gris, Bioshock, Doom Eternal, and Bloodborne are art good enough to not only be studied by classes but exist in the Louvre. I got particularly tilted after seeing a FUCKING GAURDIAN ARTICLE have the Gaul to not only say they are not art, but their argument was, and I quote "Pac-man and Tetris alongside Van Gogh will mean game over for any real understanding of art."

Jaaaa

discord link pls been a month

I mined 500 bitcoins using an N-gage

Salutations Chris Derrick and Sween. No question, but the NBA state farm thing reminded me of the time they got fucking Spike Lee to write and direct one of the stories. It was NBA 2016 and the highlight of it is the ending. The main character has a piece of shit coattail riding friend who dies in a car crash while fleeing from the cops. The final scene is his ghost walking on screen and giving an eight minute monologue, in it he gives poor justifications for why he's such an asshole and also says he always wanted to fuck your mom. By the way the ghost is reading his monologue off of a notepad. Also the main character's name is "Frequency Vibrations." It's not a nickname it says that on his birth certificate.

Alex Vaello

(name is pronounced Shu-jay-mon for chris lol) Hello, Migos that ran out of ink! I've been watching you guys for a month or so now, you've made my pretty grueling workday a lot more bearable so thank you for that. you wouldn't believe how often I was working while crying laughing, seriously. Anyways Question time! A lot of people around me tell their story of when they "gained consciousness" as kids, where they just suddenly come into being mentally, and I always thought that was bullshit, I certainly don't remember such an event. Am I a dolt? Have you guys lived through that?