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The Bisexual Problem [ad free] (Patreon)

Published:
2026-08-21 17:47:31
Edited:
2026-08-22 05:54:02
Imported:
2026-08

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  • 721951463.mp4

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Content

Here we go! Uploaded to Patreon so you can easily watch off of YouTube with no ads! But if you want to watch on YouTube and comment and like and all those lovely things, here is the link! (As I post this the premiere is about to start on YouTube, would love to see you all!)

Also check out the Patreon exclusive appendix video about the bisexual superhero TV series Lost Girl!

Files

Comments

Prognostic Hannya

Btw idk if you're doing something different but you look AMAZING in this video.

Sara

Amazing vid! I'm at the 40 minute mark so I'm finally getting to the for bi-only part lol. Verity and Ada, you both have outdone yourselves with this video. I got so many awesome bi film reccs to watch just from the first 40 mins. Also wtf is wrong with GLAAD??

Sara

I call myself bi mostly because that's the first word I heard used for someone who likes multiple genders meaning someone who isn't monosexual. But I do like using pan merch, flag etc. Any label implying non-monosexuality is fine by me. But I do prefer bi mostly out of defiance. Everyone has always told me that bisexuals are the wrong type of queer in so many ways, mostly using the same reasoning Verity laid out here, so using it feels more intentiona for me.

Slávek Janík

it was SUPER ILLUMINATING AND INSIGHTFUL! Loved it and I will be insufferable from now on to all my friends :-) I will let them know who to thank to and give like and subscribe :-)

Prognostic Hannya

Watching more of the video now, and yayyy Ava time! You have an amazing screen presence and I really hope we get to see more of you in future videos. Your section's content is very interesting as well, it's an argument I've had many times with many people. I personally understand culture to be like a kaleidoscope in front of a light: your ultimate "base" is the same no matter what time or place you're born (the light), but the culture you're in twists and distorts it in uncountable ways

Prognostic Hannya

Finishing the video, and holy shit. Just... god damn. Some parts of this hit me like a gut punch. I really loved the end, constructing a better form of queer activism based around broader activism towards bodily autonomy. I'm going to read the Warner book, I think this video fundamentally changed how I understand sexual politics.

Richard Earley

This was one of the most remarkable and insightful video essays I’ve ever seen. I sat there open mouthed for two hours and not just because of all the sexy people in this clips. I wanna start a revolution immediately, and it will be a revolution based on kissing. Smash capitalism, smash the patriarchy, smash the unsexy gender binary. Ada’s punk jackets for everyone!!xx

Simon Patience

I get that all those distinct sexual categories are superfluous, but, my goodness, all those colourful flags together looks purrrrteeeeee!!!!

Simon Patience

It's interesting what you're advocating for here is essentially the "old fashioned" idea, as held by people like Gore Vidal that words like "homosexual" are adjectives, not nouns. That debate got more or less debunked as gay identity rose and it was left looking a bit, well, homophobic, and people like Vidal as being in denial, but he warned of consequences not far from the ones that you point out here - what I think he didn't see coming was queerness incorporation into wider capitalist structures.

accomplice123

I wasn't aware of Vidal's essay, but I wanted to point out that this is more complicated, if you take colonial impositions of normative sexuality into account. Sexuality defined as behaviour rather than essential identity (which entitles citizens to legal rights) is not an "old fashioned idea" theorised by 20th century intellectuals. Same-sex relations and institutionalised same-sex acts have been practised across history, without a reference to personal identity (and also legality as defined by the state, for that matter). Rather, sexual identity as such is a comparatively new way to codify sex acts between people, resting on the logic of binary sex/gender, as well as privileged institutions of kinship and property relations (i.e. marriage, inheritance, the family unit). As Ada and Verity point out, this model of sexual identity is adapted out of the need for political strategy. Arguing against inherently exclusionary social institutions (marriage, property relations, national citizenship) as the basis of the distribution of wealth and social provision is more of a challenge than arguing for inclusion based on identity claims. Commodification of queer identity and the need to defend and delineate criteria of what makes a legitimate claim to rights result in tensions. For example, Ada and Verity's example of non-profits assisting in the process of 'verifying' the sexual identity of refugees can be seen as homonationalism or queer necropolitics: participation in a racist system that distinguishes between legitimate rights-claims and those that are otherwise exposed to death (Jasbir K. Puar, Jin Haritaworn, C. Riley Snorton and others have written about these concepts). Participation in military service or Gilead's refusal to make life-saving medication accessible for all are other examples. Love to see an accessible and nuanced discussion that can move us beyond the usual discourse: common values instead of common identity.

Yonatan Zunger

OK, I think this is the single best essay you've made to date; it was thoughtful and distilled a lot of very complicated ideas that I almost never hear discussed, for reasons which pretty much follow from what it is that isn't being discussed. One bit of history I would tack on is just how the "ethnic model" rose to such preeminence in activism. Through the mid-80's, it was one of many models in use, and I wouldn't even say it was the dominant one; but in the late 80's and especially early 90's, it started to resonate with "middle America" specifically in the context of AIDS activism. This was in the context of a period where the "conservative position" (in Pat Buchanan's words) was that AIDS was God's plan for wiping out homosexuals and so should basically be encouraged, with everyone HIV+ or likely to become so being segregated away from the population; the "born this way" story seems to have clicked with people and made that sound as obviously genocidal as it was. But the outcome of this was that this model became very *explicitly* at the center of AIDS activism, and bisexuals were quite explicitly told to sit down, shut up, and pretend they didn't exist, because (for the exact reasons you capture in the essay) their existence would be a perfect counter to this argument, reframe it as a "choice" and therefore something that God and society could and should punish. And bisexuals by and large went along with it, because the alternative was quite literally death. At the time, bisexuality, especially male bisexuality, was also the primary demon on the right, because those dirty secret bisexuals were how AIDS ended up affecting the pure and the innocent, the flower of White womanhood. (I wish I were being facetious with this phrasing, this stuff was quite routine in the press) So bisexuals were considered a direct threat to everyone's life and safety by all sides, and were basically told: if you want any of us to live, shut up and protect us but don't under any circumstances hang around us. And so you end up with people like me -- a bisexual man from the younger end of Gen X, who was coming up as all this was happening and who therefore knew he would never be part of either the straight or queer communities, and the one thing that's certain is not being accepted in either world. The values-based activism you propose is something I think we've always dreamt of; I'm in full alignment with you on it, no notes. And I think a big part of the reason it's never happened is that the practical realities of trying to maintain just the right to not be killed in a society very hostile to it forced everyone into an incredibly minimal activism that was entirely focused on just holding that one line. And I fucking hate it.

Beyond Jupiter

This video is powerful, inspiring, enlightening, and truly wonderful. I was truly captivated by the reflections raised—some I was happy to see reinforced by you, while others I was amazed to discover through you—and yes, I shed a few tears along the way. I’ve already watched the whole video and shared it with those close to me. Now, I’m going to watch it again! Thank you, Ada Černoša and Verity Ritchie. Thank you so much for creating such brilliant and much-needed material. You are AMAZING!!! 🌟😍💜

Ariel Vittori

I don't think I've ever seen a video that has so clearly said things I believe in so deeply, I feel so vindicated as a radical communist poly pansexual goblin (I also only mostly identify as pan because of the flag colors and so I get to make "punsexual" jokes and I'm so glad you have legally allowed as all to say it's all the same fucking identity - for whatever that matters which is little, let's overthrow capitalism)

Tommy Castronova

Love this video and gotta say, absolutely loved seeing Ada filling this cool co-host role! It was great seeing her on this side of the screen!

Ghosts And You Might Die

Finally got to watch through the whole thing, and it just feels so goddamn good to have a fun, well-made video, with citations, that validates my identity and experiences in the face of the ambient biphobia and erasure I encounter all the time!! Along with your other videos on bisexuality, I'll be rewatching this one lots -- sometimes just for enjoyment, and sometimes to get that needed hit of validation, but probably more often for both at the same time (very bi of me! 😝).

MathClassWarfare

This was really good! I know it is outside the scope of the video, but because I am trans, I found myself thinking at various points: 'hell yeah! And gender too!' (e.g. it reminded me of having to come up with childhood anecdotes rather than talking about my current feelings/life in order to get transition related care)

Nadja

This was such a fascinating essay! I relearned quite a few things I had somehow forgotten along the way. (And it made me realise that the best bi representation I've personally seen on screen was a Teen Wolf extra that only appeared in two episodes and had just a few lines ...)

Vi

so lovely to see what you've been cooking up, glad to be a subscriber 💖

Verity Ritchie

Yeah it absolutely applies to gender in so many ways, we were thinking about that too, but decided that could be a topic for a later video, so we didn't go into it. Thanks, MCW!

Verity Ritchie

The discourse would be so much better if everyone just identified as their favourite colour combo lmao! Thanks Ariel!

Verity Ritchie

Aw this was so nice to read, thank you so much Jupiter!

Gab

Loved the video so so much! Started watching it while making something for Tumblr (funnily enough, about a (badly retconned)pansexual character. When I started again the next day, it started with that 40min bit about people being done eating 😂 I couldn't stop thinking about two french films throughout the video. The first one is Gazon Maudit (French Twist). Marie-Jo's van breaks down in front of Loli's house and rings her bell for help. Loli is a mother of two, staying home while her husband is an estate agent sleeping around with his clients (and not just clients). Marie-Jo shamelessly flirts with Loli, and Loli responds positively. The film was made by a famous French comedian who kept hearing from her lesbian friends that there weren't any lesbian romantic comedies. In the end, it wasn't a big, big hit with the lesbian community because it has a definitely bisexual ending (and also has the stupid "lesbian has sex with man to have a baby" trope). But it has definite bisexual ending, with the three of them being happy together, not in a throuple but all living together. And the man even goes off and falls for a man (tho still a client, and he happens to be Spanish just like his wife Loli! he has a type😂). Effectively having a homosexual character disrupting a ✌️normal ✌️heterosexual couple's life, changing it for the better. A few years earlier, in 1990, the film "La Fête des Pères" (Fathers' Day, I don't think it was distributed internationally ) came out and it did very well with +500 000 tickets sold. It is about a gay couple trying to adopt through illegal means (obviously, as gay adoption wasn't legalized until the 2010s in France). Their plan falls through but they meet a woman and she offers them to have their child as it'll allow her to leave her abusive boyfriend (she does ask for money!). Throughout the course of the film, the gay couple falls in love with her. I don't think the word "bisexual" is said, 'cause not even AIDS/HIV is mentioned by name, and I remember maybe one kiss between the men. But! the ending is definitely bisexual, and their love for her isn't making them heterosexual. It's making them confused, for sure. But the last visual the audience is left with is definitely bisexual! I only discovered those films the last 10 years, it would have done wonders for me if i had been able to see them growing up but there were no reruns for La Fête des Pères and my parents didn't like Gazon Maudit when it was on TV (they did show it until at least the 00s!). Technically, there is a third French film in that category that's coming back to me now: Jamais 2 Sans 3 (They Always Come in Threes, not distributed internationally either). It's more recent, it aired on TV in 2009 (and then up to 3 times a year for the following 8 years). A cop loses his best friend, has sex with a man and learns his ex is pregnant with him in the span of 24 hours. The ensuing investigation about his best friend's death is very much on the back burner to the shenanigans between the cop, the guy he had sex with (who turns out to be his new boss who he has to work with on the investigation) and the rookie who's joined the team because she fits the serial killer's victims description and is used as bait for the case. The main character is both trying to get with her, and back with his ex, while also trying to forget he had sex with a man, his boss, who he's having to share a bed with(!). But he has been changed by gay sex! The end is also bisexual though more ambiguous than the other two movies. He doesn't end up romantically with them, but he does kiss all three on the mouth, and they are all together as they welcome the kid into the world (and the camera pans to an artwork saying "LOVE"...) (I am not joking). These three films have always been close to my heart, as soon as i discovered them. And thinking about them with this new lens is so interesting. So thank you very much for that!! (and if you hadn't heard of these films and want to see them, I have links for all three)

Cal

I really appreciate being able to see it without supporting youtube! I feel really disheartened with the way we are trending towards one unethical platform to rule them all and I'm feeling very listened to being able to support you here without youtube :)

Guliya

This was awesome! Thank you so much!!! It was also very nice to see Ardor having a segment :) You guys are the bestest!

Gaoth gwyntog gwen

Wow, this is for sure one of the best youtube videos I've seen in a while, possibly ever if I exclude cat videos. I'm so proud of you both, you've done so much and so well! I will be watching this again on youtube for sure! It was wonderful to see Ada, you are so lovely and you (both) have a lovely voice! I love your elaboration of constructionism, it feels like what I have felt like but never been able to enunciate all this time. I am definitely on board with you to revolutionize sexual identity! I don't agree with you fully on every point, but I see where you're coming from and value what you both have to say. For example, I think the family unit is not a bad social structure and that it would be better to strengthen and encourage family and community ties as much as possible for a functional and moral society - but I'm 100% with you that people's rights to food, education, healthcare, pension, etc. should not depend on who their parents/spouse happen to be! Also, I added a section to my fantasy world description on polygamy inspired by you! I'll add the link if you would be willing to read my nonsense, but be warned that it is quite a long description - the bit on polygamy is near the end. https://inkarnate.com/m/KEbNrW

Plan Bee

This video was INCREDIBLE! I was in tears by the end, it's why I'm joining here. I'm so exhausted by discourse in the community that cares more about what we watch on Netflix than what's actually happening to people in real life, and as a writer I feel constantly under pressure to create perfect queer validation instead of authentically exploring a messy experience. It's like literal queerness, as in the questioning of norms, is getting devalued by the community in favour of choosing alternative norms, and doing anything else makes you a source of violence. Listening to someone argue for harnessing queer experience as something generative for values and action was HEALING 💜 There's a lot of feminist theory that also critiques identity politics, concerned with the pressure to create sameness instead of connection-within-difference and with the fetishisation of wound as a way to construct the self. My academic work looks at love, emotion and future imagining as an alternative community framework, argued by scholars like Jennifer Nash, Sara Ahmed and Wendy Brown. But I've never seen a bisexual take on identity politics and I love it so much! I was wondering do you post your reference list anywhere? You put citations up in the video but I was dumb and didn't note them down as I watched 😆 no worries if not, I can speed watch again! Thank you for making this, amazing work 💖💜💙

Janina

Such an incredible essay!! Thank you so much. That felt like a balm for my bisexual heart. After consuming & exploring all these films + series, can you say what your favourite bisexual films&series are? And/or do you have a list of all the films mentioned? 🤓 I might have to watch them all.

Verity Ritchie

We had two of these on our huge spreadsheet of "bi films to be watched" but I will add "Jamais 2 Sans 3," thanks so much! It really feels like French cinema has an enormous amount of bisexuality in it!

Verity Ritchie

Thank you for your support and your kind words! We haven't posted the list of citations anywhere, but genuinely just because we haven't made it lmao! Our work documents are super messy, so we would need to sit down and work on it. I would like to get into it as a habit but usually by the time we're done with the video I'm so knackered, and we need to work on the subtitles too, and it just falls by the wayside!

Gab

"huge spreadsheet of bi films" 🥵🥵🥵 if you ever wanted to host online viewing parties, i'd be there in heartbeat! French cinema does have a lot of bisexuality, but most often without taking it fully seriously.

Plan Bee

That's totally understandable! I'll do a speed rewatch. I really appreciate how you use theory and ground what you're saying so thoroughly. I have a lot of feelings about making academia something everyone can participate in so you're doing amazing work x

Max

You and Ada have put into more eloquent words many thoughts I’ve had over the years. I remember thinking years ago, when we gained access to marriage in the US, that this doesn’t make sense as the final goal, marriage is still coercive (the insurance example, the history of it as a land-grabbing government tool framed as a “private” choice in the US). The asylum story was also a devastating example of how identity-based activism can only take us so far. Values-based activism is something I will integrate into my vocabulary immediately. Thank you! P.S. Is there a possibility on a livestream any time soon? Those were a good time c: How is Ada’s project to read and review bisexual books going?

Moria merriweather

Hey, hi, hello! I’ve been binge-watching your content, and now i’m thinking i’d like to have a local bi event of watching this video with whoever wants to show up for it — Is it okay to use the patreon version in a group showing? (no is an acceptable answer.) Also, FYI, the bi womens quarterly plans to have a review of this movie in the next issue. (i realize this may be a bit of a spoiler and remove some surprise — but this is how i learned that this movie exists, and also the bi womens quarterly is worth knowing about for whoever may see this that doesn’t already know it exists.) (I am on the email list for “calls for writing” and got an email where they were looking for someone to review The Bisexual Problem. I offered but someone else had already signed up to write about it.) 🩷 thanks

Moria merriweather

There was some wonderful writing about the needs for (various kinds of things broader than the current limits of marriage) that was written by a group of (mostly bi people, or a bi group??) back when same-sex marriage was coming into possibility — I wish i could remember the name of it so i could look it up and post a link to it here. (I think it may have been run as a full page ad?) — it was — um— something like a bi response to (some of the) issues unresolved by legalizing same-sex marriage.

Moria merriweather

This might be it — I’m too tired to read it thoroughly, and also not certain I’d remember enough of the details to be sure, but this seems to fit what I remember in terms of when it was written and the general idea https://bcrw.barnard.edu/change/documents/BeyondMarriage.pdf Oh, and I seem to be have mis-characterized it as mostly bi people — there are many bi people that are signers — and I am sure I heard of it in some kind of bi-related context — but many straight and gay people are signers…. (I’m still trying to picture where I saw it as a full page ad?)

Moria merriweather

hummmm, not sure about having a local event — it turns out some of the local bi group has already seen The Bisexual Problem!

Verity Ritchie

Oh we should totally do a livestream! Ada's a little under the weather at the moment, but maybe soon! Ada has read a bunch of new books lately but not posted anything, but its definitely not an abandoned project!

G

Thank you both for making this, it’s very insightful and well put together. I felt like I learnt a lot and can now put words to some of the uneasy feelings I’ve had around self actualisation and activism under a capitalist system. Values- driven grass roots movements are the way to go 💜

Hunca Munca

Excellent essay, as always <3 I'm so glad to see you back after so long. I think that the fly in the soup for bisexuality in the ethnic model, is in the way the aspect of choice is perceived. I think that bisexuality doesn't necessarily not fit into the "born this way" view point, however I think the truth of the concept of choice when it comes to bisexuality, and all sexuality, is whether you choose to repress or embrace yourself. You're still not choosing who you're into, the choice that you have is how you engage with that desire. A bit in the same way that a gay person can "choose" not to practice their gayness (christian stylze). It's a choice to repress the self for the comfort of others, or not. And I think therein lies the distortion of the "born this way" ideology when it comes to bisexuality. Not in the way bisexuals might see themselves, but in the way that they're seen by others who don't understand it. Just as an additional thought to accompany your excellent collection of points you've addressed in the video. You've really done an amazing job of breaking down why the current identity discourse is no longer a helpful frame of practice. Thank you for putting this together <3

KayTen

I'm curious as to how you'd feel about the webcomic, D!ckheads, on Webtoon. It's not very good in my opinion, but it's interesting in that it seems to be one of the few romance webtoons where the love triangle will end in polyamory.

Curious&ambiguous

Does anyone know where/how to watch ‘The Bisexual’ by Desiree Akhavan online in the Uk? It’s not on channel 4 anymore, and I don’t want to get f*kin Hulu!!