Hot Dog Store: Hot Dog Karate School For Kids Who Don't Karate Well (Patreon)

School is back, and once again the education system refuses to teach the six things children need most: reading, math, science, lunch, and two separate methods for karate-chopping a criminal directly in the bathing-suit area.

That’s why I homeschool my kids.

The Hot Dog Karate Shirt lets everyone know you’ve studied the forbidden groin secrets of the east. Did you pass a test? No. Was there a test? Also no! We mailed the instructor a drawing of a kick and he mailed back a siren noise. Congratulations, you are now a regional master.

It is also available as a women’s-cut shirt, because crotch combat has no glass ceiling. Put one on for parent night and tell the gym teacher you are here to audit their stance.

Further education waits in the vault!

Welcome to Sensei Chuck’s Huckin’ Hut, the only dojo with a grenade-based syllabus.

Practice the gentle art of hand-grenade based self-defense. The shirt is available to members who can find it and survive orientation.